Declan stills as my lips press into his. I linger there, letting all the sensations wash over me. I could so easily get lost in him. I start to pull back, but then his palm comes up and caresses the back of my head, just the way Leo had done with Scarlett.
I smile against his mouth as a shiver rolls down my spine. Pulling back, I look at him. His features are hard, his expression almost pained. What I told him earlier, how I thought it could be with us, I feel that deep in my bones. I think we could be great together, but will it last or will we burn hot and fast, then spend the rest of our time together miserable and uncomfortable? Though, isn’t tiptoeing around this thing between us already miserable?
Dragging my nails lightly over his dark stubble, I bring my lips back to his. This time, it’s not me pretending to be anyone but myself. And the way he reacts, sliding his hand down around the back of my neck and sliding his tongue into my mouth, I know he isn’t imitating anyone else either. This is us.
I don’t know how long we get lost in the kiss, but when we break apart, we’re both breathless.
“What was that for?” he asks, voice quiet and gruff.
“I guess I just wanted to kiss you. Is that all right?”
One side of his mouth lifts. “Yeah. More than all right.”
Applause starts up for the next auction winner, and I turn my attention back to the table. I catch Scarlett’s gaze. Her eyes are wide and her mouth hangs open in a shocked smile. Declan’s arm goes around the back of my chair, and he pulls me closer, while giving his focus back to the event. I sip my champagne and try to calm the flurry of warring emotions inside me.
We say our goodbyes as soon as the last auction winner is announced. At the car, he walks me to the passenger side, but instead of opening it, he presses me against the door and kisses me again.
Reaching up, I lace my fingers together behind his neck and press into him. He doesn’t make any move to take it further, but I can feel how his body reacts to the kiss.
“I think we should take things slow,” I say, pulling back an inch and looking up at him. “And if either of us isn’t feeling it, we say so right away, and we go back to just being friends.”
His hands glide up and down my back. “Whatever you want.”
I want to get lost in him, but I know I owe it to him to make sure we both survive this year. “Well, what do you want?”
“I want you,” he says. “But if taking it slow is what you need, then that’s fine by me.”
He reaches down and opens the car door for me. I sink into the plush leather seat, and he closes me in and then walks around and gets in to drive us home.
Once he starts the engine and puts it in drive, he looks over at me. “Home?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Let’s go home.”
He holds my hand the entire way back, but otherwise, we’re silent until he pulls into the garage. Inside the house, we both linger in the kitchen. Declan reaches up and undoes the top two buttons of his shirt, watching me. “Heading to bed?”
“Yeah. I have to go into the office tomorrow.”
He nods. Slowly. We’re taking this slow, I remind myself.
“I’ll see you tomorrow night, then?” he asks. He’s usually gone in the mornings by the time I wake up, but the thought of going so long without seeing him suddenly feels like an eternity.
“Yeah.” I hesitate, but he seems to have this transition between friends and more already dialed in because he steps forward and brushes his lips against mine again.
He moves back far sooner than I’d like. “Night, Jade.”
“Night.” I head upstairs in a trance, still feeling his lips on mine. I get ready for bed and pull out my laptop to check on work.
Fifteen minutes later, I hear Declan coming upstairs. I pause, listening as he walks in the opposite direction to his room. He usually shuts himself in, but I don’t hear the click of the door tonight.
When the house finally goes totally silent, I get up and pad quietly down the hall. I stop, then start again. Is this too much too fast? I pause again and squeeze my eyes shut. It might be too fast, but I don’t want this night to end. At the realization, I continue down the hallway in long, confident strides. When I get to the doorway, he’s lying in bed, holding his phone in one hand in front of his face. It illuminates his features enough that I catch the surprise when he spots me.
“Hey.” He drops the phone and leans forward. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine, but I was thinking.” I fidget with the hem of my long T-shirt. It hangs just above thigh-level. “I do want to take this slow, but maybe we could try a slumber party?”
Smiling, he picks up a pillow and tosses it to me. I catch it and hurry over to the other side of his bed. It’s just as big and comfy as the one in my room, and bonus, because the sheets and pillows smell of him.
“What do you think couples do at slumber parties?” I ask, climbing under the covers.
“I don’t give a shit what other people do, what do you want to do?”
“I want to kiss you until my lips hurt,” I admit.
He sets his phone on the nightstand and turns to me, bringing me flush against him and then he does just that.
Saturday morning, I wake up in Declan’s bed for the third morning in a row. He’s already up, as he has been every morning. The faint sound of a saw tells me he’s working on the house. After he finished the room he turned into my office, he went back to working on the bathroom. The sink and showerhead he wants are on backorder, but are supposed to be here tomorrow.
It’s all coming together. The longer I’m here, the more it’s feeling like home. And today, I’m going to pitch in. Maybe it’s not my forever home, but I am living here, basically for free, so the least I can do is help with some of the renovations. Seriously, how hard can it be?
I take a quick shower and get dressed in shorts and a tank top, then pull my hair back and slide into a pair of old tennis shoes.
I find Declan outside in the driveway. The gray T-shirt he’s wearing stretches across his back as he uses a miter saw to cut baseboards. When he sees me, he stops and lifts the safety glasses to the top of his head.
“Morning.” His gaze scans my outfit. “Where are you headed?”
“Nowhere. I thought I’d help you today.”
A flash of surprise crosses his face. “You don’t need to do that.”
“I want to. You look seriously hot in these.” I step forward and take the safety glasses, then slide them on. They’re sweaty. It’s already hot out here and who knows how long he’s been at it. “How do I look?”
He grins. “Like I might not get a lot of work done.”
He wraps an arm around me and pulls me against his even sweatier chest to kiss me. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to the thrill that runs through me with each kiss.
The next weekend, Jack has a pool party at his house since some of the new rookies are in town for development camp. Declan has been gone a lot more this week, staying at the arena later to help out with the camp and to get to know the young guys.
As for taking thing slow, we’ve managed to keep things very PG. Maybe, TV-14 is more accurate. Most nights, I end up falling asleep in his bed after kissing for hours, but he hasn’t tried to take things any further, and I’m so giddy with how good things feel that I’m nervous to push for more.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Declan like this,” Dakota says, watching him and Maverick in the pool. They’re playing volleyball against Ash and Leo. Declan is grinning big and trash-talking as he and Maverick win their second game in a row.
“Like what?” I ask, not taking my eyes off him.
“Like you screwed him into a happy-go-lucky man instead of the broody, serious guy he’s been as long as we’ve all known him,” Piper says.
Scarlett nearly spits out the seltzer she’s drinking.
The four of us are sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the deep end, as we watch the guys.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“She means she still hasn’t slept with him again,” Scarlett clarifies for me.
“I don’t want to rush him. I’m giving him lots of time to make sure this is what he really wants.”
“What about you?”
“I’m having fun with him. Besides, I got us into this. I owe it to him to find the least complicated way forward.”
“Jade, honey, you’re dating your husband. It’s already complicated.” Scarlett reaches over and squeezes my hand.
“I don’t think sex is the thing that has you worried,” Piper says. “You like him. You’re different, too. Don’t think we haven’t noticed the dreamy look in your eyes.”
A glance at Scarlett and Dakota tells me they’re in agreement. Am I holding back sex because I feel too invested emotionally? That sounds so unlike me, but this whole thing is completely outside my comfort level.
“I am exactly the same,” I insist, sliding into the pool. I paddle over to Declan, while the guys are still trash-talking about the last game.
I wrap an arm around his neck to keep myself afloat. One of his big hands finds the back of my thigh under the water.
“Another game?” Leo asks.
“I’m done,” Declan says.
“Gonna hang with the wifey, eh?” Mav asks, with a knowing grin.
Declan doesn’t respond, just smiles as he scoops me up and heads toward the stairs. He doesn’t let go as he walks out of the water.
“Where are we going?” I ask, a laugh breaking through.
“I’m starving.”
“I already ate,” I say wriggling, so he’ll put me down.
“Oh no.” He tightens his grip. “You’re coming with me. I haven’t seen you all day.”
“You want me to watch you eat?” I quirk a brow. “That sounds entertaining for me.”
He sets me on the floor as we get into the kitchen, then dips his head to claim my mouth. He smells like sunscreen and chlorine and his skin is wet but warm from the sun. And man, can he kiss.
When he pulls back, I feel a little dazed. He’s made a plate with a hot dog and chips before I fully find my bearings again. Leaning one hip against the counter, he stares at me. “Having fun?”
“You’re shirtless and kicking the other guys’ asses at every game you play, of course, I am.”
He lets out a hearty laugh. “I guess I better not start losing then.”
“As long as you do it shirtless,” I say, and steal a chip from his plate.
He holds the plate out to me, and I take a few more.
When he’s done, we head back outside. He grabs my hand as we approach a group of his teammates. Jack opens the circle to let us in. A few guys I’ve met, but several others, I haven’t, and they eye Declan and me carefully.
“This your girlfriend?” one of them asks.
“My wife,” Declan corrects him, and a thrill shoots through me at the hint of pride in his voice. Or maybe I’m imagining it.
Declan introduces me to each guy, never letting go of my hand. They’re talking hockey, camp stories mostly, but even when Declan’s not speaking directly to me, he makes sure to let me know he remembers I’m here by the little circles he traces on the inside of my wrist and the small, quick smiles.
I consider leaving him alone to talk sports, but then he uses our joined hands to pull me in front of him and wraps both arms around me, so anyone talking to him has to literally speak over me. I lean back into his strong chest and he rests his chin on the top of my head. I have never felt like a more ridiculous couple. Or more wanted.
At that thought, unease settles in the pit of my stomach. It only feels like we’re a serious couple because of our fake marriage. Our actual relationship is new, and I need to pump the brakes on my feelings before they get away from me.
I pull away, missing his touch immediately.
“Need something?” he asks, searching my gaze. “Want to go?”
“No.” I force a small laugh. It sounds brittle, even to my own ears. “I am gonna hang with the girls. All this hockey talk is making me sleepy.”
A flash of hurt in his eyes makes me regret the words, but I walk away anyway.
