Tears fall down my face as I shut the bedroom door behind me. So stupid. He looked so happy to see me. And I felt such relief to have somewhere safe to go after the fight with my mom, and now here I am leaving. I’ve screwed everything up so badly this time. No, I screwed this up months ago, by allowing him to step in and take Sam’s place.
My mom is right. You can’t start a relationship like this.
At least now, it’s over. There’s a comfort in the certainty of messing something up so badly you know it’s irreparable. I know how to be alone. It’s something I’ve prided myself on, never allowing a man to change me or get so deep that who I am revolves around him.
I loved Sam, or at least I thought I did, but I never worried about losing a piece of me with him. But with Declan, I feel like I’m in real danger of letting him in so deep that when it ends, I’ll never recover.
He knocks twice before opening the door. My back is to him, but I can tell he’s hesitating before stepping into my space.
The words that come out are harder and louder than I expect from him. “What the hell, Jade?”
He’s pissed. I stop packing. Fuck it, there’s nothing here I need. I put my half-packed bag on my shoulder. I swipe at my tears before looking at him. “Don’t worry. I’m going.”
“Like hell you are.” He stands in the doorway, blocking my exit. “Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on? You leave Friday without warning, then come back early and pick a fight over mugs and a girl I don’t give two-shits about.”
My throat is thick with emotion and more tears threaten to spill over if I speak.
He takes a step closer, and his voice is softer when he asks, “What happened with your mom?”
“I told her about us. We got into a fight, so I came back early.”
“And now you’re going back there because we got into a fight?”
I bite on the corner of my lip.
“You aren’t really going to your mom’s, are you?”
“I can stay at a hotel for a day or two until I find an apartment. It’s no big deal.”
“You’d rather stay at a hotel than here?”
Frustration bubbles up inside me, taking over the sadness. Why is he acting like he still wants me here after I just yelled at him over freaking mugs?
“I thought that’s what you would want?”
“You think I want you to go?”
“Yeah. Why would you possibly want me to stay? I’ve been hot and cold. I’m a freaking mess, and I can’t seem to stop screwing things up with you.” Even though it’s the last thing I want to do.
“I like you.”
“But I yelled at you.”
“What do you think I did when I stormed in here and told you that you weren’t leaving?”
“You’re just further proving my point. We’re terrible for each other.”
“Fuck that noise.”
“You’re a great guy, but I’m a horrible wife/girlfriend/person. You don’t want to be with me.”
“I think you can let me be the judge of that.”
He takes my bag by the strap and pulls it off my shoulder and then throws it onto the bed.
“Why do you like using my old mugs?”
“I don’t know. I just do.” A little defensiveness works back into my tone. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Couples fight, Jade. That doesn’t mean that it’s over.”
“Is that what we are?” I whisper.
“Yeah, baby. Whatever you think, whatever anyone else thinks about how this started, my feelings are now real.” He lifts my chin up with a finger, so I’m forced to stare into his dark brown eyes. “Why do you like my old mugs?”
“Because they’re yours.” I liked using them, picturing Declan having coffee out of them a million times before. His hands around the same handle. His lips touching the mug in the same spot. I know it’s silly, but I wanted that connection to him at first. Now I’m afraid it’s that connection that’s going to burn me alive.
His lips cover mine in a hard kiss that earns a squeak of surprise from me. My hesitation only lasts a second before I’m kissing him back with all the emotions swirling inside me. Declan keeps his mouth pressed against mine as he scoops my legs out from underneath me and falls onto the bed with me.
My heart is racing when he pulls back and stares at me.
He slides a hand around my waist. His calloused hands slipping under my tank top and skimming over my skin. “We aren’t over, sweetheart.”
I shut off my brain and all the negative thoughts that have been nagging me all weekend and surrender to him.
Pulling at his T-shirt, I get it over his head, then help him get my tank off. We’re undressed so quickly and then he’s pushing into me, filling me so fully that I can’t tell where he ends, and I begin.
He isn’t gentle, but I don’t want him to be. Every thrust, every searing kiss, reminds me how good we are together, despite the circumstances or the reasons we got into this.
As my orgasm gets close, Declan pulls out of me and moves down, covering my pussy with his mouth as I fall over the edge.
He doesn’t stop after one orgasm. He pushes for another, until I’m chanting his name in a nonsensical string of sentences. “Declan. Oh, stop. Don’t stop.” and “You. Amazing. So good.”
When he pushes inside a second time, I am so ready for him. Nothing feels as good as when he’s inside me.
He slows his pace and says, “Look at me.”
My gaze snaps up to his. He pulls out almost completely, then inches back in, all the while staring down at me. “Say it.”
When I don’t immediately reply, he pulls back out. I whimper and a grin tugs at the corners of his lips.
“Say it, Jade.”
“We aren’t over.”
He slams into me. Pleasure twists his features as I cry out. “Not by a longshot.”
