“Are you okay?”
I glance over to see Declan, standing a step outside of the bar. I’m not even surprised he followed me. One thing I know for sure about Declan, he notices things other people don’t.
“Yeah.” I nod and pull myself together.
“No, you’re not.” His jaw hardens and he looks around like he’s hoping to find some jerk who made me cry so that he can kick their ass. I wish he could. “What happened?”
I clear my throat and squeeze my phone in my hand. “That was Sam. It’s over.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. I thought…”
Shaking my head, I speak before he can finish the sentence. “That was the first time I’ve talked to him since I saw you Monday. I hoped we could still work things out.”
He studies me silently.
“I’m having my bachelorette party for a wedding that isn’t happening. God, how pathetic am I?”
“You’re not pathetic.”
“No?”
“Never.” He steps forward and runs his thumb underneath my left eye to remove the smudged makeup. “Drink? Dance? What do you need?”
“A drink sounds good.” More like a dozen of them.
He stares at me a beat longer, before stepping back toward the bar and holding the door open for me.
The rum and Cokes I ordered are waiting for me. I take a long drink of one, then ask the bartender for two tequilas for Declan and me.
Declan lifts a brow in surprise. I wave a hand toward the veil and sash, reminding him I’m a jilted bride-to-be. “I should have yelled at him. Think I should call him back and tell him he’s lousy in bed?”
He isn’t, but it might feel good to yell it in his face.
I pull out my phone and Declan promptly grabs it. “Definitely not.”
“I’m so mad,” I say, but I’m sad too. Part of me knows I pushed Sam too far, but I can’t find it in me to regret getting engaged.
“I’m holding onto this,” he says and slides my phone into his front jeans pocket. “If he’s truly bad in bed then I think you’re better off.”
A small laugh escapes me. Declan offers me a crooked smile. “It still sucks to have to call off the wedding, though. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not calling off the wedding,” I say and drain the rest of the rum and Coke. Declan is quick to order me another.
“I don’t understand,” he says.
“My boss told me that the wedding is happening with or without me.”
“She could just replace you? How’s that work?”
“She would spin it to say that I was writing the articles for another bride. A million girls would kill to have the kind of wedding I planned. I’m sure she’d have no problem finding one to take my place.”
“Damn. That’s cold.”
“She’s ruthless.”
“Almost sounds like you admire her for it.” He grins.
“Oh, I do. She gets shit done for sure. Plus, I did sort of do this to myself.”
He takes one of the tequila shots as soon as the bartender puts them in front of us. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m not going down like this.” I don’t blame Declan for looking unconvinced. “If Sam won’t marry me, then I guess I’ll let Melody play matchmaker and find me a groom.”
His brows shoot up toward his dark, messy hair. “Find you a groom?”
I tell him everything Melody said earlier today and all the ways this could play out as well as the repercussions. I expected at least a little judgment from him, but if he thinks I’ve lost my mind, he doesn’t show it.
“Please don’t tell anyone else. If this got out—”
He lifts a hand. “I would never. Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thank you.”
“You’d really let your boss bully you into marrying some guy of her choosing?”
“As opposed to what?” I throw up my hands. How could I expect him to understand? He’s a successful hockey player, loved and adored by his teammates and fans. I’m a girl still fighting to show my worth and earn respect. “I can’t exactly call up every guy I know and ask if they want to marry me, so I can keep my job. I need this job.”
“What about your family? Can they help you out while you find something else?”
I shake my head. “My mom is the only family I have, and we’re not close. I don’t have family like that. The kind that swoops in to save the day. Except Scarlett. She’s not blood, but she’s the only person in my life that’s always had my back when I needed it.”
When I dare to look at him, his face holds more understanding than I expected.
“And what happens after you marry this random guy?”
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “I imagine we’d have to stay married for a few months to make it all look legit, but since I never used Sam’s name or photo in the magazine, I don’t think it would be that hard to convince people. No one besides my friends and his would know the truth. And Melody, of course, but she’s the last person who would out me.”
I turn and find our friends dancing again. Seeing them happy actually brightens my mood a little. Were Sam and I ever like that?
“I’m sure once the wedding is over, all the interest in my articles will die off and I can get divorced and move on to writing about something else, without anyone noticing or caring.” Except that’s another fear of mine. There is no better feeling than having people read and connect with my words. I don’t want to keep lying, but I also don’t want to lose everything I’ve worked for. It’s all I have left now.
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“No, actually.”
“That makes one of us.” I blow out a breath. “I thought this was going to be my break. Melody is a big name in publishing, and I Do is one of the few magazines around that still has a print presence. I always dreamed of seeing my words in a magazine you could pick up in a grocery store.”
His smile puts me at ease and even though I doubt he wanted to hear my life story tonight, I keep rambling, “I know it’s gauche to say, but I want the kind of success that means I never have to rely on someone else.”
“Yeah, I get that. I think I felt the same way when I signed my first NHL contract.”
“Really?” I try to picture a younger version of the man in front of me. I’ve always looked at him as someone who had it easy, but it’s so much simpler to look at the success and not consider the road he had to take to get there.
“Really. I didn’t have a lot of people I could count on when I was starting out either. It took me a long time to spend the money I was making. I drove this old Honda that broke down every other day. Jack gave me so much shit about it.”
“Saving it in case it all blew up?”
“Exactly.” He lets out a little chuckle. Even after the sound falls away, his smile remains. “I think we’re more alike than I thought.”
I want to ask him what he thought I was like, but I’m not brave enough. I can’t take another ego hit tonight.
I take the last tequila shot. Oh, I’m going to regret that one tomorrow. “Thanks for making this night suck a lot less. For a few minutes, the prospect of figuring out how I’m going to pull off a wedding without a groom didn’t seem so bad.”
“I’d do it. I’d marry you, if you wanted.”
Too many seconds pass before his words sink in. My head snaps up and a small giggle escapes my lips. I wait for him to tell me he’s kidding or to laugh, something, anything to acknowledge the hilarity of his words.
“Why?” I finally ask, when it’s still unclear if he’s joking or not.
The girls yell for me to join them on a little makeshift dance floor in front of the jukebox as “Single Ladies” starts playing.
“Does it matter why?” He lifts one shoulder in a shrug and pays for our drinks.
My head spins. Piper and Dakota come over and drag me out to dance with them before I can think of what else to say. Declan follows, standing with the guys off to the side and watching us dance our hearts out to Beyonce.
I meet his gaze as my friends scream the lyrics around me. I’m still waiting for him to crack a smile or do something to indicate it’s all some elaborate joke. Why in the world would Declan want to marry me?
And why do I not totally hate the idea of taking him up on it?
I don’t get any more alone time with Declan Wednesday night. We hit one more bar and then crash at the hotel. Thursday morning, we all have breakfast together before we head back, but all I can do is focus on not throwing up.
Scarlett drops me at my apartment with a smile and a squeeze. I didn’t have it in me to tell anyone else about my conversation with Sam. I will, just not today.
“See you tomorrow,” she calls as I walk up to my apartment building.
It’s strange being back in the small apartment I share with Sam. Shared, I guess. I keep thinking he’ll show up any minute and tell me he changed his mind and can’t live without me. He doesn’t, of course, so I throw myself into work. There are a million last minute things to do before the wedding. I’m writing two articles that will run while I’m on my honeymoon. One on gifts for the wedding party and another on the rehearsal dinner.
The actual wedding article is going to be written by Melody herself and will be the feature story of the summer print issue. I get to do a follow-up in the fall issue, a short piece on the honeymoon and life as a newlywed. It could very well be the break I’ve been waiting for since I penned that first blog post on wedding cake.
I have my eye on a Features Editor position. Rumor has it that there’s going to be an opening soon and I want it. I want it badly. The pay is better and it’s one step closer to my goal. But do I want it bad enough that I’ll marry someone besides Sam? Ugh.
On Friday, I still don’t have my answer, but everyone else is carrying on like this wedding is happening, so I do too. Scarlett is hosting a brunch at her house with just us girls, and I show up, hoping an afternoon with my friends will provide some sort of clarity.
I know the sensible solution is to suck it up, tell Melody the wedding is off, and face the consequences, but I just can’t seem to make myself do it.
She has connections all over. Plus, the exposure of the articles has been more than I ever could have dreamed (that was a positive until now). There is no way I’m going to get another job in this city if I mess this up. I’ll be the girl that faked an engagement or the bride expert whose fiancé dumped her the week of her wedding. I’ll have to move, change my name, and start all over. New York City has too many people for me and California is too blonde. And dammit, I don’t want to go down like this.
Piper, Dakota, and Scarlett stare at me intently as I tell them about my conversation with Sam.
“It’s really over?” Piper asks, a hint of hope still present in her tone.
“Yeah. He’s gone.” I set my mimosa on the table in front of me. “If I can’t find somewhere cheap to live in the next week, I’m going to be homeless on top of everything else.”
I can’t afford our apartment on just my salary. My paycheck as a staff writer for the magazine is barely enough to cover half the rent.
“You can move in here,” Scarlett says so matter-of-factly that my heart squeezes in my chest at the offer. I really hope I don’t have to take her up on it. She and Leo just moved in together a few months ago. They don’t want a third wheel around.
“How are you going to tell everyone about the wedding?” Dakota asks.
“I’m not.” I stuff a cracker stacked with three kinds of cheese into my mouth.
“Good. Make Melody deal with all that,” Scarlett says.
We’re sitting outside on the patio. The house has a great outdoor space and today is the perfect day to use it—warm, sunny, with a light breeze. The doors from the dining room are pushed open, and I can faintly hear Leo, Tyler, and Ash inside playing video games.
Piper nods her agreement, and my palms start to sweat as I reach for the courage to tell my friends I’m still going through with the wedding regardless of Sam backing out.
I love my friends. I value their thoughts and know they always want what is best for me, but my mind is made up and they aren’t going to like my decision.
“No, I meant I’m not going to call off the wedding.”
Silence hangs around us.
“I don’t understand,” Piper finally says. “You just said Sam is gone.”
“He is.”
Dakota gives me a small smile. “I think people will notice if your groom is missing.”
“No one knows who my groom is. Well, no one but you guys. He didn’t want his name or photo included in the articles.”
Scarlett’s face pales. “Jade, no.”
“What?” Dakota glances around, trying to piece together my plan.
“I don’t see any other way.” My voice climbs defensively. “If I don’t go through with the wedding, I’ll lose my job.”
“Then get another job.” Scarlett leans forward and her eyes widen as she stares at me like she doesn’t recognize me, or maybe who I’ve become. She doesn’t get it. She grew up with two loving parents, who provided everything she could want. She’s worked hard at her photography, don’t get me wrong, but she doesn’t know what it’s like to have nothing and no family to depend on if everything falls apart.
I hang tight to my resolve. “I love my job and I’ve worked too hard to quit now.”
“Wait a minute.” Piper raises both hands. “Did I miss something? Who are you going to marry?”
Twisting my fingers in my lap, I keep my gaze locked on my chipped pink nail polish as I open my mouth to speak.
A deep, confident voice answers before I work up the courage. “Me.”
My friends’ heads snap to the doorway where Declan stands, but his stare is locked on me.
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Piper’s eyes are the size of saucers and Scarlett squeaks but can’t seem to make her voice work either.
I stand quickly and walk toward Declan, grabbing him and pulling him inside.
“What are you doing?” I whisper, or at least I try to whisper. My heart is beating so loudly it’s hard to tell if I manage it.
“I didn’t have your number, but Leo mentioned you were coming over today.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I mean, why did you just tell them that we’re getting married?”
“I told you the other night I would do it.”
“I appreciate how sweet you were that night. I was drunk. You were drunk. We both said things we might not have with a clearer mind.”
“I wasn’t that drunk, and I meant it. I’ll marry you.”
“You can’t just say that.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.” I cross my arms over my chest, then immediately drop them. “Everyone thinks I’ve lost my mind. Now they are going to think you have too.”
He shrugs. “It’s none of their business.”
With a roll of my eyes, I say, “Have you met our friends?”
“Look, if you don’t want me to be the guy, fine, but I stand by my offer.”
Is he serious? Of course, I’d rather marry Declan, a cute and nice hockey player, than resorting to Tim or any of the other options Melody might have found. But can I really let him do this?
I feel my gaze narrow and some unfamiliar emotion swirls in my stomach. “Why?”
He’s dressed in black jeans and a white T-shirt. So casual and chill as he offers himself up like it’s no big deal to marry a girl you barely know.
“I understand your situation. I’ve been there. Talking to you the other night reminded me what it was like.”
“But this is huge. I can’t let you do this.”
“Sure, you can. Everyone should have people that will show up for them. Let me be one of those people for you.”
“I still don’t understand.”
“Call it me paying it forward if you want.” His fingers brush against mine, and a little jolt shoots up my arm. “I see you. You work hard, you have big dreams, and you just need a little help right now.”
I finally place the emotion still swirling through me. It’s relief at finally having a solution that doesn’t totally suck.
“Thank you.” My heart is racing as I start to let the idea really sink in.
“We’re doing this?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
“Thank you. Really. It doesn’t seem like nearly enough words to express my gratitude.”
“It’s more than I need.” He smiles. “What now?”
