Reap and Boxer were awake, alert and smiley as they lounged on the couches. Gray waved to me from a recliner and then turned his attention back to the TV. A local news station was on and I could distinctly make out the Shortie’s sign in the background behind the cute reporter on screen.
“What’s she saying?” I asked with a chin nod at the TV.
“She’s talking about a spike in crime in Waco.” Gray darted his gaze to Colt. I looked at Colt over my shoulder and his face betrayed nothing of his feelings.
“The clubhouse is full this morning,” I commented.
“We’re having church in an hour,” Colt explained. “So everyone is coming here.”
“I need coffee,” I muttered, heading to the kitchen where Darcy was directing Rachel and Allison with a spatula.
“Good morning,” Darcy chirped. “How are you? We heard about the drive by at Shortie’s.”
“I’m okay. It was Joni who was hurt,” I said, going to a cabinet and grabbing a mug. I emptied the pot. “Where’s the bag of coffee? I need to make more.”
“I’ve got it,” Allison said.
Cream and sugar were on the counter and I doctored my coffee heavily before sitting on a stool. Colt had taken a seat with the guys near the TV and was currently talking to Gray in a low voice.
“She’s going to be okay,” Darcy said. “Flesh wound, right?”
I nodded. I needed to text Joni to see how she was doing. My phone was still in Colt’s room and just as I was about to hop off the stool to go and grab it, Joni walked into the clubhouse with Zip behind her.
Her sorrel hair was pulled into a low side ponytail and she was wearing black yoga pants, flip-flops, and a pink tank top that revealed her bandaged arm.
I jumped off my stool and went to her immediately and gently embraced her. “How are you feeling?”
“Dopey,” she said with a smile. Her blue eyes looked a little glassy, but she wasn’t swaying. “I took some painkillers before we came over.”
Zip came to stand by her and I noticed he was carrying a duffel bag.
I pointed to it. “What’s that?”
“Joni’s shit,” he said. “She’ll be staying in a spare room at the clubhouse for a few days.”
“Why?” I asked in confusion.
“Colt will explain,” Zip said. He looked at Joni for a long moment and then took her bag out of the room and headed for the stairs.
“What was that?” I whispered.
“Nothing.” She grabbed my coffee and took a sip. Nodding, she added, “Just the way I like it.”
I took her hand and led her to the kitchen counter. “Sit,” I commanded, gesturing to one of the stools.
Joni plopped her butt down and then Darcy set a plate of food in front of her. “Eat every bite,” she commanded.
“Do I need to feed you?” Rachel asked. “I will, you know. I’ll even play the airplane game to make it more fun if that’s what you need me to do.”
“Why are you guys treating me like an invalid?” she demanded. “I’m a nurse. I know how minor this is.”
As if to prove her point, she picked up her fork with her dominant hand, which was also the arm that was bandaged, and scooped up a bite of scrambled eggs.
She ate a few bites and then set her fork down. “See? I’m fine.”
Zip came back down the stairs and walked over to stand behind Joni. “Your stuff is in last room on the right. Third floor.”
“Thanks,” she said.
He stared at her for one long moment and then nodded before joining the guys.
“Dear Lord,” Allison muttered.
“Right? Is it too early for cocktail hour? I need to know everything that look just meant,” Darcy said.
“Nothing. It meant nothing,” Joni said before going back to eating her food.
I leaned closer to peer at her and said aloud so the girls could hear, “Her cheeks aren’t even red. She’s literally got no tells. Forget cocktail hour. Let’s drive to Vegas and make Joni play poker.”
“I don’t know how to play poker,” Joni said.
“I’ll teach you.”
“I don’t know how to play either,” Rachel said with a pout.
“Girls’ poker night,” I said. “Our next hang out. I’m gonna turn you guys into hustlers.”
“You mean you know how to cheat?” Darcy asked in amusement.
“Damn right I know how to cheat,” I said with a laugh.
“I’m so in,” Allison said with a grin.
Acid and Cheese came in the back, sweaty and out of breath.
“What happened to you guys?” Rachel asked.
“The kids,” Acid wheezed. “They have no chill.”
“Kids?” I asked and then looked at Darcy. “Your kids?”
She nodded. “Cam and Lily are in the backyard. Along with Silas—Cheese’s brother.”
The two young bikers grabbed some bottles of water from the refrigerator and then Colt yelled, “Church!”
All the Blue Angels trailed after their president and they disappeared down the hallway. A moment later, the back door opened and then shut.
“And then the women folk were stuck in the kitchen,” Rachel muttered, causing Darcy to laugh. “I can’t believe three kids tuckered out two huge bikers.”
“Children have a special type of energy,” Darcy explained. “It’s endless. And forget giving them sugar. That’s the kiss of death for parents.”
“Reap is dying for a baby,” Rachel said. “I have no idea why, considering he’s never spent more than two seconds in the same room with one.”
“I think it has to do with wanting a kid with you,” Allison pointed out. Her face went pink and she bit her lip like she was hiding something.
“Oh my God,” I said, staring at her. “You’re totally pregnant.”
The girls looked at her in different phases of shock and disbelief.
“No,” Darcy said. “Really?”
Allison nodded, happiness shining from her eyes. “I told Torque last night and he was really excited.”
I’d never officially met Torque. He was once a nomad, meaning he called himself a Blue Angel, but he hadn’t belonged to a specific chapter. When he’d met Allison in Waco, he’d settled down, but he still had the urge to wander. He was constantly on the road, traveling.
I hadn’t even seen him in the clubhouse this morning. No doubt he’d been waiting out back when Colt called for church.
“Are the boys really gone?” Darcy asked.
I hopped off my stool and went to the hallway and listened for a moment. There was no sound of voices or footsteps.
“They’re gone,” I said. “Why?”
Darcy grinned and then she went to one of the cabinets and moved aside boxes of pasta and corn muffin mix to pull out a bottle of Kahlua.
“Seriously?” Joni asked with a laugh.
“Seriously,” Darcy said. “I think we need it. After the night you and Mia had, and now to celebrate Allison’s good news.”
Darcy filled our coffee cups, skipped Allison, and then raised her mug.
“To the Blue Angels women,” Darcy said.
My throat tightened.
I was one of them now.
I wasn’t sure what it all entailed, but I knew that even with the danger, it was worth it because of the protective fold I’d been brought into.
“To the next generation,” I said with a grin at Allison as she beamed with joy.
“Who’s next, do you think?” Darcy asked after taking a sip from her mug, her eyes skimming over us.
“Don’t look at me,” Rachel said. “I could go a few more years without a baby. No offense.”
Allison shrugged. “None taken.”
“I’m not even dating a Blue Angel,” Joni said. “Ah, shit.”
“What?” I asked. “Is it your arm? Does it hurt?”
She shook her head. “I’m supposed to go on that date with the doctor I work with. How the hell am I supposed to explain this?” She pointed to her bandage.
“Tell him you’re a klutz,” Rachel suggested.
“And that you were holding a vase of flowers, tripped over your own two feet, and the vase went flying and you went down and cut yourself on the broken glass,” Darcy said.
“You came up with that story really fast,” I remarked with a laugh.
“It’s a good story,” Darcy said.
“Not if you’re a nurse and you hold people’s lives in your hands,” Joni stated. “If I tell that story, he won’t think I’m a klutz, he’ll think I’m an idiot who can’t be trusted. He likes me because I’m competent, not some goof.”
Rachel frowned. “I’m pretty sure he likes you because you’ve got a great rack.”
“I’ve got a great rack?” Joni asked with a smile, puffing out her chest.
“Dynamite,” Rachel said. “I’d kill for your rack.”
“You guys are kind of amazing, you know that, right?” I smiled. Their banter reminded me a lot of Shelly. I thought about how much she’d like these women and I couldn’t wait to introduce her to them. She’d quickly get over her biker aversion when she saw how they all treated me.
Like it didn’t matter that I was in a world of shit, or that I brought it to their front door or that Joni had gotten injured because she’d been with me at Shortie’s.
“What’s wrong?” Joni asked quietly. The other three women were smiling and talking and hadn’t noticed I’d fallen into a somber state.
“Just thinking.” I shook off my mood. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop feeling guilty,” she said. “It’s not necessary. I’m okay, Mia.” She squeezed my hand to take the sting out of her reprimand.
I heard the slam of the back door and then voices. The kitchen was suddenly overrun by Darcy’s two children and Cheese’s brother, Silas. He was a skinny kid with skinned knees, but his smile was big and goofy. His ears stuck out just a bit, but I knew in a few years, after braces and a growth spurt, he’d be a good-looking teenager. With a biker as an older brother, I was sure he’d learn how to swagger and break a few hearts.
“Mom, I’m hungry!” Cam said.
“Me too!” Lily yelled. “Hi, Mia!”
I smiled at the adorable girl. “Hey, Lil.”
The kitchen was suddenly filled with people—church had ended and the bikers were now back, grabbing plates of food and sitting at any available spot.
Colt came up behind me, reached over my shoulder and took a half-eaten piece of bacon off my plate, and popped it into his mouth.
“Hey,” I said. “I was going to eat that.”
He grinned after he swallowed. “No you weren’t.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t,” I admitted with a laugh.
Joni climbed off her stool and waved Colt to it. “Those pain killers are throwing me for a loop. I think I’ll go lie down.”
Colt took her seat but not before whispering something in her ear. She nodded and then headed upstairs.
“You ready to go?” he asked me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zip set his plate of food on the coffee table and stand up. He made his way upstairs, so discreetly that even Colt didn’t notice what was going on beneath his nose.
“Mia?” Colt pressed.
“Sorry. Yeah, I’m ready.” I looked at him in confusion. “Where are we going?”
“Home so we can grab your clothes and whatever else you need. We’re staying in the clubhouse for the next few days.”
My gaze narrowed. “Next few days, huh? So that’s Colt-speak for ‘until the threat has passed’.”
He smirked. “You already speak my language. You must be some kind of savant.”
I rolled my eyes and pressed my hand to his chest, forgetting about his tattoo. He winced and I immediately pulled away. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“Wait a minute, you two,” Darcy said. “Hush, everyone!” The room quieted and all eyes looked to Gray’s wife. “We’ve got a situation here that no one has addressed.”
I shrank back into the wall of Colt’s chest, afraid that Darcy was going to call out Joni’s injury and what had had happened last night. She surprised me when she announced, “Mia and Colt got tattoos. We need to celebrate that!”
There was a resounding cheer that was deafening and made my eardrums vibrate.
“Tonight we rage!” Boxer yelled.
I looked at Colt and whispered, “Is this a good idea?”
“Is what a good idea?” Colt looked down at me, the smile lines at his eyes crinkling. “Living life?”
“But what about all the other stuff?”
“It’ll still be there tomorrow,” he said. He wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me to him. “You never know how long you’ve got, Mia.” His eyes darkened and his mouth clamped shut even though he looked like he wanted to say more.
He’d lost his parents young. I’d lost my family too. By all accounts, Colt and I finding each other, finding some measure of happiness in a chaotic world, was a miracle.
“Okay,” I said with a slight smile. “Let’s celebrate. One condition, though.”
“Name it.”
“I want Shelly and Mark to come.”
“Mia…”
“She was there for me, Colt. When Grammie died. She was there for me when no one else in the whole world was. She has to be here to celebrate this new life with me. Celebrate us. I know it will be weird, and she has thoughts about you and the entire MC thing. She won’t get to know you in a night, but it’s a start. Please?”
Finally, he nodded. “Boxer is right, though. Tonight we rage. You think she can handle that?”
I grinned. “Guess we’re going to find out.”
We headed home, leaving the party planning in Darcy and Rachel’s capable hands. While Colt showered, I packed a bag full of clothes. I went into the bathroom to gather some of my toiletries, but lost all sense of concentration when Colt stepped out of the shower, naked and wet.
Utterly gorgeous.
He reached for a towel and quickly ran it across his head and then swaddled it around his body. He grabbed his toothbrush and slathered toothpaste across the bristles.
“What did you do with Richie’s corpse?” I asked.
Colt looked at me. “Do you really think I’m going to answer that?”
I sighed. “You’re not going to tell me.”
“Do you even really want to know?”
“I guess not.”
“As far as anyone is concerned, Richie is still missing. I’ll leave it at that. Okay?”
“Okay.” I blew out a breath of air. “Does it bother you when I ask questions?”
He rinsed out his mouth. “No. Does it bother you that I handle shit and might not always be able to tell you what goes down?”
“I thought it might. I don’t know. Maybe it will at some point in the future. But not now.”
“Speaking of future,” he began.
“We were speaking of the future?”
He shot me a look. “We are now.”
“Okay, I’m listening.” I followed him out of the bathroom, carting my toiletries and setting them down on the bed.
Colt flung off his towel and strode nude to his dresser. “Do you want kids?”
“What?” I asked, startled. “Kids?”
“Yeah. You know. Children.”
“Yes, I’m aware of what a child is, Colt,” I snipped.
“Do you want one? Or more than one?” He pulled on his boxers but kept his gaze trained on me.
“I don’t know if I want them,” I admitted.
He stared at me for a long moment and then asked, “Did you want kids before you got tied up with me and the Blue Angels?”
I swallowed but didn’t answer.
“If you want kids, we’ll have kids. If you don’t want them…then we can fuck on the kitchen floor whenever we want and not have to worry about scarring a kid for life.”
A bubble of laughter escaped my lips. “That’s your vision? We’re on the kitchen floor and our kid comes in?”
“Well,” he grinned wickedly, “the real vision is you on top of me while I’m on the kitchen floor and you’re screaming my name. Never really factored a kid walking in on that, though knowing us, it would be bound to happen.”
The carefree way he described the situation made me smile.
“Tell you what,” I said. “Let’s get through all this crap with the Iron Horsemen and we can reevaluate the kid thing.”
“So you’re not saying no,” he said. “Just so we’re clear.”
“Not no,” I agreed. I cocked my head to the side. “But I think you want kids. Don’t you? You’re just trying to be accommodating?”
“You think I’m the accommodating sort? You clearly don’t know me well enough yet.”
I refused to let him sidetrack the conversation. “I think you want kids,” I said softly. “I think you want a family like the one you were raised in.”
He stilled, the amusement fading from his features. “Truth?”
I nodded.
Colt sat on the edge of the bed in nothing but his boxers, his hands clasped in his lap as he stared at the floor, mulling over his words before speaking.
“My parents loved us. They really did. But they loved each other more. Dad didn’t die of cancer. Not really. He let the cancer take him because it was less painful than living without my mom. He died of a broken heart, but you don’t say shit like that in our world. You know?”
He shook his head and went on.
“Joni and I…we had each other. Still have each other. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. Sure, I left her like an ass and tried to figure out my own shit—living in a world that my dad wasn’t in anymore, but I came back. And it’s been the two of us ever since.” He looked at me and smiled. “Until you came along, I didn’t think much about having kids. Why have kids if you don’t have the love of a good woman to raise them alongside you?
“I don’t know, darlin’. One day we’ll be old. One of us will go first. Whoever is left behind…well, I like the idea of having the comfort of family when that time comes. A family you and I made together. A part of me, a part of you, will always be left in the world, even when we’re gone. And if we have more than one kid, they’ll be there for each other when we’re both gone.”
His words wrecked me and I felt tears coat my eyelashes, but they didn’t fall. Somehow, I held it all back. Not because I was embarrassed or afraid of being vulnerable. The walls that I’d erected around my heart after Grammie died were long gone, obliterated by Colt.
But there was something I had to say before I broke apart completely. “I watched Grammie die. Slowly, at first. She suffered for a long time, and then she was gone. Even though I was by her side, she died alone. You’re born alone and you die alone, no matter what anyone tells you.” I frowned. “I don’t know if what you said is a good enough reason for me, Colt. Do I hate the idea of you being old without me? Yeah, I do. But will having children really ease the burden of loss? I can’t say. I don’t know. But I think, we’re supposed to want better for our children than we had. It’s one thing for me to choose this life. Choose you and all the shit that comes with it. It’s quite another to have kids and bring them into a world where a skewed moral compass is the norm, with mentors and protectors that break laws and teach them it’s okay to do it. I just don’t know, Colt.”
He was silent for a long moment, his dark eyes murky without giving away any emotion.
Was he upset about what I’d said? He was good enough for me. But was he good enough to be the father of the children I didn’t even know I wanted?
“Call Shelly,” he said finally. “Invite her and her fiancé to our party.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling cold down to my bones.
“Okay.” I bit my lip. “Are you mad at me? For what I said?”
“No.”
“Then why are you—”
“I’m mad because your words have merit.” He got off the bed and went to the dresser to grab a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. “I just need a bit, all right?”
Nodding, I left the bedroom, closing the door behind me. We were both strong people. Strong-willed, strong emotionally.
But were we strong enough as a couple to weather the truth?
