I waved to Shelly across the park lawn, shaking my head when I saw her outfit. Skinny white jeans, a pink and white checkered sleeveless button up, and cork wedges.
“You look like you’re ready for a day at the rodeo,” I said with a laugh, hugging her.
“If I was going to the rodeo, I would’ve worn my cowboy boots.” She not too discreetly surveyed the area. “Which one is he?”
I gestured with my chin to Knight who was leaning against the fence of the basketball courts.
“Wow. He’s good looking.”
I glared at her.
She shrugged. “Sorry, honey, but he is.”
The night before, I’d called Shelly to invite her to the charity yard sale that was being held in a public park due to the huge space, and to fill her in about Knight. I glossed over what I could, but had to mention club business because Colt had called the Blue Angels from Coeur d’Alene in for back up to deal with the Iron Horsemen. And it wasn’t like I could get away with not telling her why we’d needed back up. But I did manage to leave out the part about a cartel being involved.
“Introduce me,” Shelly said.
She took my hand and squeezed it, knowing I was nervous. I still wasn’t sure how to act around Knight. He might’ve been my father, but he was a stranger.
“Hey,” I greeted him awkwardly.
“Hey,” he said, his gaze darting to my best friend.
“Knight, I’d like you to meet Shelly.”
“Shelly,” Knight repeated. “Good to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” she said, clearly looking him over and studying him.
“Guessing you know who I am?” Knight asked with a smile.
She nodded. “Mia brought me up to speed.”
I stood by while the two of them talked. Every now and then, Knight’s eyes would dart to mine, like he wasn’t sure how I was going to take his interaction with Shelly. But Shelly was Shelly and knew how to pretend awkwardness didn’t exist. She was aware of social cues, she just chose not to pay attention to them.
“She’s nice,” Knight said after Shelly excused herself to find a restroom.
“She’s the best,” I said. “We’ve been friends forever. She was there when Grammie died. She’s the only reason I got through it.”
His eyes saddened. “I’m sorry you’ve had to live through so much loss.”
“I—” Emotion blocked my throat. “I need to help Darcy set up.”
I turned away from Knight. I wasn’t prepared for public shows of emotion with him. My heart kicked up in grief when I saw his face fall and then close off.
The lawn was covered with folding tables and volunteers were hauling boxes of donated items from their cars and trucks. Kids ran around, laughing and having fun, and Blue Angels stood in small clusters, talking and watching. I caught Colt’s eye, gave him a quick wave, and then turned my focus to Darcy and the girls who were unpacking used books.
“What can I do to help?” I asked her.
“Sort the books by genre,” Darcy said. “I’m trying to create a semblance of order.”
I bent down and grabbed a handful of old-school paperback romance novels and set them aside.
“Did I see Shelly?” Rachel asked.
“Yeah. She’s here. She went to find a bathroom.”
“Was it my imagination or did I see you introduce her to Knight?” Darcy asked. “Self-help books go on the other end of the table.”
“Yeah, they met. It’s just weird, you know?” I shook my head. “I don’t even know how to deal with it. Oh, I wanted to ask you guys before Shelly gets back…I’m going to throw her a bachelorette party. Something small, and not a strip club situation. Maybe like a boozy brunch. Would you guys be down to attend?”
“I love that idea,” Allison said. “Except I can’t partake which kinda bums me out.”
“Sorry, lady,” Rach said with a grin. “I’m not forgoing alcohol in solidarity.”
“I second that,” Joni said.
“A girl can dream, right?” Allison sighed. “Aside from the no booze thing which really sucks, I have a hard time staying awake past nine now. It’s like the clock strikes nine and I’m supine.”
“Hey, you rhymed!” Rach said with a laugh.
“Enjoy your sleep while you can,” Darcy said. “Lily still wakes me up in the middle of the night if she has a bad dream.”
Shelly found her way to our table. Rachel immediately put her to work as they gabbed. Laura came by, brown eyes surveying our work.
“How’s everything going over here?” She frowned. “You guys aren’t done yet? We’re supposed to be ready to go in twenty minutes!”
“Relax,” Joni said. “We’ll be ready. Your yard sale will go off without a hitch.”
Laura huffed and then turned and walked away, no doubt to berate other volunteers who weren’t finished with their section.
“Why are we stuck with the books?” Rachel asked. “I wanted to man the costumes. I saw at least three boas over there.”
“Ah, speaking of boas…” Darcy began as Cameron chased Lily across the grass. The little girl wore a bright pink boa that streamed behind her.
“They’re cute,” I commented.
“They’re exhausting,” Darcy said. “I’ve been with them nonstop, even though the lockdown is over and we’re back at our house, Lily has become my shadow. And Cam can’t sit still.”
“I’ll take them for a weekend,” I offered. “Or even a couple of days during the week if you need a break. Maybe after all this stuff with the club is sorted.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Darcy protested. “They’re my children. I’m obligated to love them and therefore entertain them.”
“You’re not asking, I’m offering.”
“You don’t want to clear this with Colt first?” Darcy asked with a grin.
“He’ll be fine with it,” I assured her.
“You know my brother wants babies, right?” Joni stated.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I know.”
“So you’re hoping to use my children to scare the hell out of him and praying he changes his mind,” Darcy acknowledged. “Good plan.”
“Not a deterrent,” I said. “But I’m not ready for all that—I want to finish my degree and not feel like the rug is always about to be pulled out from under me.”
“I wish I’d brought my flask,” Joni said. “This seems like a good flask conversation.”
Darcy grinned. “One step ahead of you.” Reaching into her back jean pocket, she whipped out a metal flask. “And before you judge me, it’s Amaretto. It’s basically water.”
“I knew I liked you guys for a reason,” Shelly said with a wink. “Drinking in a public park. My kind of ladies.”
Cars started pulling up and parking on the street. People trickled across the grass, looking through the tables of second-hand belongings, discovering items they felt they couldn’t live without.
By one o’clock, we had more foot traffic than we knew what to do with. Laura had “hired” a band, which was just a group of fathers with kids who attended the elementary school. They covered classic rock hits and jammed out, having a blast. There were four different types of food trucks, so there were options. Laura had thought of everything and I marveled at her event organization skills.
“Mama,” Cam whined. “Can I get a hotdog? And a Sno-Cone?”
“Me too?” Lily asked. They both hung off her like little wolf pups. Darcy was in the middle of trying to sell a woman an encyclopedia collection that was missing the letters X and Z.
“I’ll take the kids for a bit,” I volunteered.
Darcy sent me a grateful look and then fished around in her pocket. I waved at her to put her money away, grasped Cam and Lily’s hands, and walked toward the hotdog stand.
“We have to make one stop before we get food, okay?” I asked. “First one to find Laura gets their own cotton candy.”
Cam found Laura, who was sitting at a folding table at the entrance of the park, holding the cash box. Lily nearly pitched a fit until I told her I’d buy her a cotton candy too. Her pout turned into an adorable smile.
I reached into my back pocket and pulled out an envelope to give to Laura. “Here.”
“What’s this?”
“My donation. For the clothes you brought me.”
She adamantly shook her head. “Put that away. You don’t need to donate. The clothes were a gift.”
“Please take the money and save us a lot of time,” I said.
“But Colt—”
“But Colt what?” he asked from behind me.
I turned to him. “I shouldn’t be surprised to find you standing right there, and yet, I kind of am.”
Colt grinned, leaned down, and kissed me quickly. Cam made a gagging noise while Lily giggled and hugged his leg.
He reached down and hoisted Lily up and settled her onto his shoulders before returning his attention to me. “What are y’all talking about?”
This man, speaking in a drawl with a cute little girl on his shoulders, had me sighing like an idiot.
“She’s trying to give me a donation,” Laura said, looking at me with a knowing smile.
“You gave me clothes when I had none,” I protested.
“I was happy to do it.”
“They’ve been arguing for a billion minutes,” Cam informed Colt. “And I’m hungry.”
“Me too,” Lily added.
I folded the envelope and shoved it into the pocket of Laura’s denim skirt.
Laura didn’t look at me but at Colt. Colt nodded and then Laura accepted it.
“Come on,” Colt said. “I’m hungry.”
“How hungry?” I asked in a playful voice.
“So hungry that I don’t think a few hotdogs will do it.”
“No?” I asked.
“No.” Colt pretended to look thoughtful. “I think I want…a Lily burger!”
“What? No!” Lily laughed as Colt lifted her off his shoulders and slung her over his back and began to nibble on her arm.
“Yep,” Colt said in amusement. “I’ll have a Lily burger, medium rare, with everything on it!”
“And fries!” Cam added with a grin.
“You’re next,” Colt warned.
“Eat him first!” Lily offered.
Colt set Lily down on the ground and playfully tugged on her pigtails. “Nah. I think it’s too much trouble. Guess I’ll settle for three regular burgers then.”
I snorted in amusement. “Just three?”
“Gotta keep up my strength for tonight.” He winked.
“Why do you need strength for tonight?” Cam wondered.
“Way to go,” I muttered.
“I’m gonna be in a wrestling match,” Colt deadpanned.
“With costumes?” Lily asked in excitement.
“Yeah, we’ll wear suits.”
“Hey, guys, why don’t you run ahead to the hot dog truck and order. Colt and I will be there in a moment,” I suggested.
The kids took off in exuberance, and when I was sure they were out of earshot, I looked at Colt. “Suits?”
Colt slung his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his chest. “Yeah, suits. Birthday suits.”
I let out a chuckle. “You think you’re hilarious.”
“I got you to laugh, didn’t I?”
“Yep. You also got me thinking about you naked.”
“Then I definitely did something right. I’ve been missing you this week.”
“You’ve been busy,” I said. “How are things with Sanchez?”
“Coming along. Knight and his boys are going to do us a solid and help Sanchez’s men move the product.”
“For a cut, right?” I asked.
“A cut of the game, yeah. They want in. Make it profitable for all of us if we can run shit up all the way to Idaho.”
I paused in thought and frowned.
Colt noticed my pensive expression. “What?”
I glanced around at the park bustling with smiling, laughing kids, their parents, young twenty somethings buying used furniture to outfit their boho chic apartments.
“I just—drugs destroy communities.” My gaze drew back to his. “Are we knowingly going to be part of something that will change the landscape of Waco? It’ll have repercussions and they won’t be good.”
Colt scratched his jaw, obviously weighing his words. “What about pharmaceutical companies? Doctors write scripts for opiates. Do you know how long it takes to get addicted to opiates? Ten days. You know the duration doctors are writing those scripts for? Ten days. Bankers swindling old ladies out of their pensions. The world is stuffed with people robbing each other blind.”
“Two wrongs don’t make a right,” I pointed out.
“That’s true. But why is it okay for others to fuck with humanity? Because it’s technically legal? It’s bullshit. How many people die from alcohol related incidents versus pot?”
He took a step closer and wrapped his hand around my neck. “You chose this life, Mia. When you chose me.”
My eyes swept up to meet his. “I know that, Colt.” I sighed. “But I’m allowed to push back. It helps me process.”
I reached up to cover his hand caressing my neck. “I’m not going anywhere. If that’s what you’re worried about. But that doesn’t mean I can turn a blind eye without saying something. That money will be used to take care of our family. That money will send Cam and Lily to the college of their choice. But in taking care of our family, who do we hurt in the process, you know?”
“I know,” he murmured. He paused for a moment. “You still love me? Knowing what you know?”
I smiled slightly. “Yeah, I still love you. I just have to reconcile it, okay? And this wasn’t me busting your ass or naively saying, ‘Oh, just do something else for money. Something legitimate.’ I just don’t want to be a raging hypocrite, enjoying the comfort the money will bring without at least broaching the topic of what my comfort will mean for others.”
“This event is because of the Blue Angels. All under wraps, mind you, because we don’t want to make people uncomfortable. We give back to our town, and maybe that’s all anyone can ever hope to do, you know?”
He squeezed the back of my neck and then let go. “Can we be done talking about this now?”
“Yeah, we can be done.”
He smirked. “Can we talk about when we can get out of here?”
“Not for a while yet. Oh, and when all this stuff is sorted with the Iron Horsemen, I told Darcy we’d take her kids for the weekend.”
“Why would you do a thing like that?” he demanded.
I grinned. “So she and Gray can remember what it’s like to be childless for a couple of days. And then I can give you an idea of what our life is gonna be like when we finally decide to go that route.”
“You think you’re gonna scare me away from it, but ten bucks says it backfires. You’re gonna see how hot I look caring for kids and you’re gonna beg me to—”
I jumped into his arms and sealed his lips with mine. Partly so he wouldn’t say anything dirty in public and partly just so I could kiss him.
After we got our hotdogs and burgers, we took them to a spot on the grass. Lily finished her hot dog in record time and then asked for ice cream instead of a cotton candy.
“Let’s wait a minute,” I suggested, not wanting to deal with an upset stomach if I let her gorge too fast.
“But—”
“Listen to Mia,” Colt commanded gently but firmly. Lily closed her mouth and crossed her arms over her chest. Then she widened her eyes and gazed at Colt.
“Don’t look at me that way,” he said, his voice losing some of his gruffness. “I’m immune to manipulation.”
Lily dropped the act and frowned. “What’s immune mean?”
“It means that look you use on your parents won’t work on Colt,” I answered.
“Rats,” Lily said.
“Ten minutes,” Colt relented. “Then you and Cam can have your dessert.”
Cam and Lily high-fived. “Can I go play with my friend Brock?” Cam asked.
“Where’s Brock?” I asked.
Cam pointed out a dark-haired boy. Something about Brock looked familiar.
“Okay,” I said. “But you have to stay where I can see you.”
Cam scrambled up from the grass and dashed after his friend.
“What about you, Lily Burger?” I teased. “You want to go play with them, too?”
She shook her head. “They don’t like it when I tag along.”
“We’re more fun anyway,” Colt said.
“Who’s Brock?” I asked Colt.
“Laura’s son.”
“Ah.”
Lily climbed into my lap and I hugged her. I pressed my cheek to her blond head and closed my eyes. There was something about Lily. Maybe it was her inherent sweetness, her trusting nature, even though she hardly knew me. But I realized how much I wanted to be around to see her grow up. To paint her toenails and give her advice. To see her go to prom with a nice boy who respected her.
An ache formed in my throat and swelled when I thought of Knight, who’d missed all of that with me. I didn’t know what kind of father he would’ve been, but the photo he’d shown me of him and my mother, and my mother’s smile…
She left him not because she didn’t love him, but because she wanted to protect me from Knight’s way of life.
I glanced at Knight who was standing with Bishop and Boxer. He threw his head back and laughed, and I realized in that moment that I wanted to know him. It wouldn’t make up for lost time, and all the years he hadn’t been there could not be gotten back, but that was neither of our faults and it wasn’t fair to punish him for my mother’s choice.
It was time for Knight to be a part of my life.
“What’s that smile about?” Colt asked.
“I’m just…happy. Despite all the crazy.”
“Has it been ten minutes yet?” Lily asked impatiently, effectively ruining the intimacy of the moment.
“It’s been long enough, honey. Let’s get you an ice cream,” Colt said.
I turned to Cam and Brock and yelled out, “You guys want ice cream?”
The young boys ran toward us, boisterous and full of energy, eager for sugar, which they clearly didn’t need.
And then I heard the sound of motorcycles, followed by a series of gunshots and the screams of terrified children.
“Brock!” Laura shrieked.
“Mom!” Brock howled, darting toward her.
“Stop him!” I screamed to Colt as I shoved Lily behind me to shield her. “Laura! Get down! We’ve got Brock!”
More gunshots rang out and I heard a distant scream. Laura tucked and rolled behind one of the bushes, and Colt didn’t hesitate as he ran for Brock. Cam was frozen in fear next to his friend; Colt grabbed both boys and pushed them to the ground. “Stay down,” Colt commanded. “Crawl on your bellies to the hot dog truck. Get behind it and stay there. Go!”
The boys snuck off, and I gave a sigh of relief when I saw them make it to safety.
Colt took out his pistol and peered around, looking for threats. I crouched and slid across the grass, all the while making sure my body was in front of Lily’s.
“Be careful,” I called to him over the roar of motorcycle pipes and shots.
I continued to slither with Lily until we made it to the hot dog truck. Brock and Cameron were sitting with their backs against the vehicle, terrified, pale, and shaking.
“It’s okay,” I whispered repeatedly, trying to wrap my arms around all three of them, wanting to block out the noise but unable to.
“Cover your ears,” I commanded all of them. Once they did what they were told, I peeked around the back of the truck to survey what was going on.
Five masked men in white T-shirts sat atop motorcycles with weapons drawn, letting off shots at anything that moved, the chrome of their bikes gleaming in the sunshine, their presence sending fear through the crowd.
I knew it was the Iron Horsemen, but why was Dev bringing this war out into the open instead of keeping it between clubs and on club territory?
He’d violated the sacred code of not bringing a war to families. Colt would kill him for it.
They reloaded their firearms and opened fire again, causing more panic and screaming. I felt Lily trembling beside me and I reached a hand out to her, but my eyes were scanning the park, searching for the people who were my family. I removed the pistol from the holster at my hip, feeling safer with a weapon in my hand. I’d defend myself and protect the children. Whatever the cost.
I saw Colt in the middle of the park, helping a woman and her child toward the safety of the public restrooms, which left him out in the open.
The Iron Horsemen didn’t waste any time as they fired off another round of shots, and I watched as Colt fell to his knees. His face was a picture of shock as his hand went to his side, covering a bloody stain on his shirt.
I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out.
Colt lifted his pistol and fired off a few shots toward the Iron Horsemen, but they went wide and he missed.
He dropped his weapon to his side, a look of angry resignation passing over his face as if he could hardly believe he was going out that way.
Turning his head, his eyes found mine. There was nothing but remorse shining out from them, silently apologizing for the life we wouldn’t get to share.
Colt mouthed something to me and even though it was too far away to lip-read, I knew what he was saying.
I love you.
“Fuck that, Colt,” I whispered, tears spilling from my eyes.
Hope drained from his face, mine going with his. I refused to look away, I refused to let him think he was dying alone, that I wasn’t dying with him. Because I was. Every last bit of me that had survived the death of my mother and grandmother, would die now, too. Colt had helped me live. He’d helped me love.
More gunshots from across the park pulled his attention and a slow smile crept across his face as though he had embraced the finality of what was to come.
“Get down, you bloody fool!” Flynn Campbell yelled from behind a large oak tree.
Colt heard him and flopped to the grass, letting out a moan, his eyes closing.
Flynn yelled in a foreign tongue, which sounded very much like a war cry. Men swarmed from every avenue, armed, ready, and firing at the Iron Horsemen.
My heart was torn in two. The love of my life was bleeding out on the lawn, but there were three children who needed my protection.
My savior came in the form of Darcy who had somehow managed to avoid the fray and snuck up against the hot dog truck. No danger would stand between a mother and her babies. She sent me an overwhelming look of gratitude for protecting her children, but then she gestured with her chin at Colt.
“I know,” I whispered. “I have to go to him. It might already be too—”
“Go,” she urged.
I attempted to hand her my pistol but she shook her head. “I’ve got one.”
All rational thought for my own safety left my mind, and before I stopped to think if it was a good idea or not, I was up and running toward Colt. I didn’t get far because someone tackled me from behind and I went down hard, teeth rattling in my head.
“Let me up!” I wheezed, attempting to get out from underneath a solid body of muscle.
“I’m not gonna let you die,” Knight murmured in my ear.
“I’m not gonna die,” I snapped.
Gunshots rang out, cutting through the screams. I managed to lift my head, enough so that I could watch more people dodge bullets and run for cover.
“Let me up,” I commanded again.
Knight’s hand went to my head and pressed it into the grass. “No.”
“Colt—I have to go to him.”
He sighed. “All right, but you crawl. You stay low to the ground. The brothers need my help. You promise me you’ll stay low!”
“I promise.”
Knight reluctantly released me and then went to join the fight. I hadn’t considered him my father, but he’d thrown himself over me, shielding me from the spray of bullets. It was true paternal instinct.
I crawled on my hands and knees, my pistol still in my grasp. When I got to Colt, I pressed two fingers to the pulse of his neck. It was rapid but strong.
I let out a breath.
“No, get to safety,” he croaked, opening one eye.
“Hush.” I set my weapon next to me and pulled up his shirt to assess the damage. Not that I had any idea what I was looking for.
“Mia, get out of here, it’s not safe,” he gritted as I lowered his shirt and mashed it into his side to staunch the flow of blood.
“I’m not leaving you.”
Flynn bellowed from behind us and it jarred me out my stupor. I took Colt’s right hand and pressed it to his left side.
“Press here, and hold tight,” I said.
Adrenaline coursed through my veins. The love of my life, the last person in the world I could bear to lose had been shot by a man who was hell-bent on killing me and destroying everything I loved.
Anger, unlike anything I’d ever felt, burned inside of me, demolishing every last trace of fear.
I watched as the Iron Horsemen drove around, trying to circle Flynn and escape his men. One of the bikers approaching on a motorcycle caught my eye. It was Dev and his mask had slipped during the fight.
The bastard had made this personal.
I picked up my pistol, lifted myself slowly to balance on one knee, and locked eyes with Dev as his motorcycle roared.
The scent of bloody steel, oil, and gunpowder engulfed me in the faint stirring of the breeze.
I raised my pistol and gripped it with both hands, focused on my target, and fired.
