“Happy birthday, sweet child of mine!” Vera rises from the breakfast table to give Jax a hug.
Today is Jax’s birthday? Obviously, he mentioned being a Gemini, but I didn’t put two and two together. “It’s your birthday?”
He grins. “Yeah. I don’t usually make a big deal of it, though.”
“I’ll never understand why he prefers to spend them with his old parents. Every summer it’s the same with him.” Vera rolls her eyes.
Jax sits next to me. Jackie places Jax’s cup of tea and breakfast in front of him.
He steals a piece of bacon off my plate. “Nothing I like more than spending the day with the most important people in my life.”
“I’ll take it, seeing as the only other option is hanging out with those party people you always get in trouble with,” Vera says.
“What do you like to do?” I scan Jax’s face, taking in his easygoing smile. Day by day he grows more relaxed.
“I have some traditions.”
“Like?”
“Oh, it’s much better if we show you,” Vera chimes in.
I offer her a small smile. “Whatever the birthday boy wants…”
“The birthday boy gets.” He flashes me a mischievous grin.
“This is tame compared to what I imagined. A movie marathon is the last thing I expected of you,” I whisper to Jax as I eye his parents, cuddled together a few seats away. A large screen hangs in front of us to create a movie theater ambiance.
“And what did you expect? Me throwing some rager at my parents’ house?” Jax grabs a fistful of popcorn from the bowl in my lap. The movie’s opening credits disappear, and my heart hammers in my chest as The Hunger Games begins.
Nausea hits me out of nowhere. I clutch onto the bowl of popcorn with sweaty palms, desperately trying to keep calm.
The first scene plays, and it reminds me of my childhood—of my parents and everything I’ve lost. I place the popcorn in the seat next to me and rush to exit the home movie theater.
Hot tears trickle down my face as I walk through the hall. The tattoo on my finger burns, mocking me, calling me out on my bullshit of wanting to be brave. I curse the tears and wipe them away with the sleeve of my sweater.
“Elena, stop,” Jax calls out.
I keep walking, ignoring him.
“Elena.” His voice sounds closer.
I turn a corner, desperate for some distance while also craving his comfort. Great, even my thoughts are a jumbled mess.
Jax’s hand wraps around my arm and turns me around. “What’s wrong? I thought you would like The Hunger Games.” He grimaces.
I avoid his gaze. “No.”
“Then why get a tattoo of it? I didn’t mean to upset you, I swear. I thought you’d be happy.”
It takes everything in me to ignore his stare. “I got the tattoo for my dad.”
“Shit. I keep fucking up.”
I shake my head trying to force the tears away. “No. It’s not your fault. You couldn’t know. The book—” I let out a ragged breath. “The book I was reading the night they were killed…”
“Was The Hunger Games. Fuck.” He finishes for me. His hand wraps around the back of my neck, forcing me to look up at him. “We can choose something else. I don’t give a shit what movie, as long as you’re okay with it.”
I stare at him. His sincerity mends the tattered remains of my heart. He chose something on his birthday thinking it would make me happy. That kind of selflessness allows for a new sense of warmth to replace the cold inside of me.
His presence gives me courage to do something stupid yet brave. To banish some of the last bad memories plaguing me.
“I think I want to watch it.”
Jax’s thumb presses against my thrumming pulse, awareness flooding my body. “Even if it scares you?”
“Especially because it scares me.” I lift my chin.
“I’ll be there for you. You have me.”
I believe his every word. We walk back to the movie room hand in hand. Someone presses play, and the movie starts up again. Jax doesn’t let go of my hand the entire time. He softly brushes over my new tattoo as I silently sob to myself at the part I remember reading on the worst night of my life. His actions tell me everything words can’t.
I’m here for you. I’ll fight the memories with you. We’ll beat this together.
And I can’t prevent falling a bit more for him that night.
“I can’t believe I get to hang out in the pit on a race day. Holy fucking shit!” Caleb bounces up and down.
“Hey, language. There are kids visiting.” I’m tempted to smack him with the side of my clipboard.
“But come on, this is the coolest thing ever. Look at Jax in his race gear. Hold up.” Caleb pulls out his cellphone and snaps a photo of Jax.
Trust me, I don’t think I can look anywhere but at Jax in his race gear.
I snap out of my daze. “Here, let the camera crew take a photo of you two.”
“Of course, mi princesa Mexicana. Good idea.” Caleb grins.
Jax laughs as he wraps an arm around Caleb’s shoulder. The press snaps some photos of the two of them, with Caleb beaming at Jax.
Caleb’s mother makes her way over. I assume if Caleb had hair, it would be similar to his mother’s blonde color. They have the same light eyes and freckles covering their noses.
She gives me a hug. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for my son. It’s all he could talk about this month. It kept his spirits up even after another round of chemo.” Her smile wobbles once she lets me go.
“Of course. It was no trouble at all. You did such an amazing job raising him because he’s one of a kind.”
“In every sense of the phrase. I have two younger children, and neither of them has his kind of personality.” She points out her two other kids, both small and blonde, mesmerized by the mechanics working on the race cars.
“I don’t know how you do it. Three kids are a lot.”
“You don’t have any?”
“Oh, no. Not yet at least.” I nearly choke at the thought.
“Just wait. I grew up as an only child, and I didn’t want that for my kids. Three might seem like a lot, but I had to convince myself not to have a fourth if you can believe that.” She laughs to herself.
“I’m sure three is sufficient.”
“Most definitely. You’ll see. One day, you’ll realize what I’m talking about. These three couldn’t be any more different, but they love each other. And they would do anything for one another, too.” She smiles at her children.
A yearning I’ve never had before takes up a spot in my heart. One I shouldn’t have but can’t deny.
I don’t want something temporary with someone. I want everything. The relationship. A family. The moments I want to hold on to for the rest of my life.
And most of all, I think I could want that all with Jax.
