Year Four/Week Five – Present
“You’re not staying for dinner?” Mom asked, taking the roast out of the oven.
I thumbed the back of my earlobe, making sure the cross earring was secure. “Got plans.”
When Blu texted me, I felt a weird surge of excitement. After the way she handled my attitude in class, I almost wanted to test it out further. Call me a bad guy, but poking the bear thrilled me.
Fucking Blu. Never once did I doubt her intellect; that was apparent the first day of seminar when she was called on by Professor Granger. That irritation I felt was real, at first.
I hated being used. Had circumstances been different, and she wasn’t Blu Henderson, that anger would’ve shut me away entirely. But she didn’t do the readings. And yet, she still outshone me.
For the first time, I wasn’t mad about it.
A part of me had been waiting for Blu’s text, parts of me that I didn’t fully understand yet. But I knew if I didn’t go, I’d never understand the feeling I had around her.
“What plans? Are you meeting your brothers at Deaks?”
Deaks? “They’re going to the bar?”
“Yeah,” she looked confused, taking off her oven mitts and setting them on the counter. “To watch the World Cup.”
A pit formed in my stomach. “They didn’t invite me.”
“Oh, well I wouldn’t take it personally, Jace. They’re just –”
“They’re just what?” I snapped, looking my mom dead in the eyes. “Older? More mature?”
Before she could say anything, I grabbed the extra set of car keys and felt a slight tinge of satisfaction. See, I can drive. I can fucking drive. I’m old enough to do that.
“Where are you going?” My mom asked from the dining room.
Dad walked in at the same time as I opened the front door, brief case in hand, thermos in the other.
“Hey kid,” he said.
Kid. Kid.
Kid.
Kid. Kid. Kid.
“For fuck’s sakes!” I swore, slamming the door behind me.
I could hear commotion from the inside of the house, but truthfully, no fucks were left to give. As I reversed the Honda, my phone vibrated with a text from Blu.
8:15pm – Blu Henderson: When are you coming?
My hands gripped the wheel, taking a left towards Deaks as I cleared the message and exhaled the growing vexation.
Sorry Blu, this is going to have to wait.
***
Scott, Will and Baxter were sitting at the bar. A pitcher of beer was placed in between them, half empty. They were laughing.
They were laughing without me.
“Jace?” Scott was the first to notice. That was a shock.
He pulled me in for a side hug, patting the barstool next to him. “What are you doing here?”
Gladly, I took a seat. “Just wanted to spend some time with my brothers.”
“Welcome, welcome,” Will spoke, as condescending as ever.
Baxter shouted at the T.V., slamming down his pint with a heavy hand. He didn’t say anything to me.
No acknowledgements, just normalcy.
Normal to treat me like a ghost. Normal to forget I existed.
“How’s school? Haven’t seen you since the summer.” Scott took his eyes off the screen for a split second to address me.
Little did he know that meant the whole world and more.
“When do you graduate?” Another question, he’d asked. My heart was full.
“Could I have some beer?” I nudged my head towards the pitcher.
“Oh fuck, for sure man. Jean!” Scott called the bartender, a lanky fuck who had no muscle. “Can I get another glass for my brother here?”
For my brother.
My brother.
Damn right I was.
“ID please,” the bartender demanded.
In any other circumstance, I would’ve been pissed. Pissed like I was earlier to be reminded of my age, my youth, the contrast between me and my siblings.
But Scott acknowledged that I was his brother.
I pulled out my ID and flashed a smile, happily showing him that I was of age.
That I belonged.
The whole night we drank and chatted. The whole night I felt fulfilled. I thought about Blu, mainly because my phone continued to vibrate in the back pocket of my jeans.
I didn’t touch it once.
If I could feel this way forever, that I fit in with the people who mattered most…
I’d never check my phone again.
