Year Four/Week Twelve – Present
“Do you think Carter will be mad if we don’t invite him?” I directed to Fawn, spooning some chicken noodle soup into two bowls.
“No, I think he’d be relieved not having to fifth wheel,” she answered, licking brownie batter off a spatula.
Fawn had the bright idea of booking a ski trip to Winter’s Lodge after exams were finished, which happened to be Friday. She invited me, Bryce and of course, Jace.
“You said that y’all were getting along. Why wouldn’t I invite him?” That was her argument. That’s all it took.
It seemed simple. We had opened up to each other a lot over the last week. He seemed more comfortable telling me things which I enjoyed. But even still, I couldn’t bring myself to go into detail about my past. After I’d told him about Zac, my traumatizing first relationship, I decided to take a break from spilling all the dark corners of my life. Would he end up holding it against me? Could I even trust him?
He never pressed about my past, which counted for something. It seemed as though there were invisible boundaries set, and he never crossed the line. It was almost like a friendship. Almost.
“Did you talk to Jace about it?” Fawn asked.
“No, I assumed Bryce would.”
“And he hasn’t even brought it up?”
I shook my head, blowing on my soup. “Nope.”
“Call him, see if he’s coming. I’m going to bring this to my room,” she picked up her bowl, “and talk to Bryce.”
I laughed as she kicked the door shut behind her, leaving me with an empty kitchen and a disaster of a sink. Fawn loved to cook but hated cleaning up. Probably why she left me alone to do the dishes. Little rat.
Every time the chance to talk to Jace arose, I got butterflies. We were friends. Surely I could call him randomly and it wouldn’t be weird. Yet, I caught myself overthinking everything I was saying. Would he judge me for talking too fast? Too slow? Not enough? Too much?
I opened FaceTime and decided to bite the bullet, clicking his name. I’d never Facetimed him before but it wasn’t any different, was it? I’d seen him plenty of times in person. There was no way I’d trip up –
He answered laying down with a cut-off tank, a red bandana pushing his hair back and a jaw like fucking stone. I was salivating. I was. I –
Wow.
His dimple was the first to make an appearance as his smile grew. “Hey Blu.”
“Am I interrupting your workout?” I could tell I was. His face was red and splotchy, a barbell was tucked in the corner of the screen and his shoulder muscles were practically popping out of frame.
“No, no,” he lifted himself off the ground, adjusting his bandana. “You’re good. What’s up?”
It should be illegal to look like that. Why the fuck was I saying that in my head? I started off the relationship bold; I didn’t need to hide that.
“You’re flustering me, Jace, I may need to look away.” I grabbed a sponge and turned on the tap, propping my phone up against the paper towel holder.
He laughed with his whole face, the laugh I loved to see. “Been a while since I flustered you.”
Oh, if you only knew.
I rinsed out the pot as I spoke. “I was just wondering if you were coming to the lodge this weekend?”
“Oh, right, Bryce mentioned that.” He scratched the sharp edges of his jaw. “Are you going?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “It would be nice to not third wheel.”
He chuckled. “Fawn and Bryce seem to be having fun together.”
“And my fear is that they’ll have too much fun without me, and I’ll be forced to ride the ski lift alone.”
“So that’s all I am to you? A riding buddy?”
I rolled my eyes, separating the washed and unwashed dishes. “Obviously. What other use do I have for your existence?”
As soon as I released the words, I knew I’d set him up for something. And what he said definitely didn’t fall short from what crossed my mind.
“I can think of other ways I may be useful.”
“Cut it out,” I teased. What I really meant was keep going.
“Ha-ha, I’ll be there. You aren’t going to class this week, right?”
“No, I don’t think there’s a need, I –”
Fawn’s laugh shifted my attention to her closed bedroom door. Only during these past couple weeks did I hear her laugh like that. It made me happy. Maybe her and Bryce were the start of something good.
“Sorry, Fawn’s talking to Bryce.”
He scrunched his eyebrows. “I can’t imagine what’s so funny. Bryce has an atrocious sense of humour.”
Now we both laughed in unison, and my nerves eased aside.
“But yeah, I’m skipping class this week. I have to catch up on work before exams so I can just relax at the lodge.”
“I’ll do the same,” he agreed. “No point in going if you aren’t there.”
I stopped cleaning, staring at the sink, unable to meet his gaze. My smile was out in the open, I didn’t try and hide that. But still, looking at him, in this moment, felt too intimate.
“Who do you go to class for?” I repeated the question he’d asked me once before, my eyes softening as he responded, “You.”
“I got to go, Blu, but I’m glad I could fluster you two times tonight.”
He ended the call abruptly and my phone lit up with a notification a few seconds later.
9:02pm – Jace Boland: Imagine the things I could do in person.
If my hands weren’t gripping the counter, I would’ve fallen to my knees. He’d never said anything so bold before, so Blu. It took me a second to register what he was referring to, but when it did, I died.
It’s insane where the dynamic of a new relationship could take you. When I met Jace, I had no idea that he’d end up living rent free in my head. Had I known, maybe I would’ve avoided the connection entirely.
But looking back at the past three months, seeing how quickly time sped by with him around, it didn’t matter if our pain and comfort held hands.
As long as they were interconnected.
