a prison now, a place where she was forced to do things with every sleazy pervert that Harlin could find. Worst of all, though, was the fear that Jay would catch on. The number of lap dances she was doing now on a single shift far exceeded that taken on by the other girls. When she talked to Harlin about her share of the money, he told her curtly that she would be getting only fifteen bucks.
“I have to put a lot of work into getting these men lined up,” he told her with a brazenness that astonished her. “That’s worth at least seventy percent . . . to pay for my time. As for you, all you do is show up.”
Knowing she could never win with Harlin, Alessa let it go. Having escaped from her childhood home, she was back to feeling hopeless again. Without her even realizing it, Harlin had transformed Alessa into a prostitute, bit by bit. She wanted to run away again but wasn’t sure how to break free from Harlin’s grip. Besides, even if she could escape, was there any place left in the world safe for her to run to?
The morning after a long night at the bar, Alessa walked into the bathroom, still half-asleep. Pushing open the door, she came upon Harlin sitting on the edge of the bathroom tub, a belt fastened around the top of his arm, with one end clenched between his teeth to hold it tightly in place. His other hand was inserting the needle of a syringe into his arm. Startled, she stood there watching him for a moment, wondering if she was still asleep and dreaming. He looked up at her and grunted for her to get out. She ran back into the hallway, stricken with fear. She realized then that she had to do something drastic to get out of his house and his life. She also knew that the fact that she supplied the money to support his habit would make it that much more difficult for her to escape.
Things at the bar had changed. Rumors were flying around about Alessa’s lap dances, and she could tell that both Jay and Shiver were on to what she was doing. Shiver suspected the truth—that Harlin was making her have sex with the men. And Jay, as she knew, had zero tolerance for employees breaking the rules.
On a busy Friday night, Alessa mingled with the clients in the bar after she finished dancing. Harlin had lined up more men for lap dances than Alessa could handle. When the first guy, now a regular customer, approached her, she led him to the room where the performances took place. She hadn’t danced for more than ten minutes when the man mauled her. At that very moment, the door flew open, and there stood Jay.
He was outraged that she had jeopardized the reputation of his bar and disgusted that she had betrayed his trust. He ordered her to gather her costumes and leave.
“Don’t ever set foot in this bar again,” he told her.
A waterfall of tears rolled down her flushed cheeks, as Alessa walked back to the dressing room to collect her belongings. She noticed Jay out on the floor, standing close to Harlin and motioning to his bouncers to escort him to the door. By the time she reached the dressing room, Alessa was crying so hard she had to gasp for air. The other girls were trying to comfort her, as Shiver came busting through the dressing room door minutes later.
“Why, Alessa?” she asked. “Why would you do this? You knew the rules. Besides, you’re made for better things than that.”
Alessa met her gaze. “I’m in big trouble, Shiver. Harlin is going to kill me. He’s hooked on cocaine, and he made me do this for the money he needs. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know how to escape him now. He’ll keep on making me dance at the bars where the girls are expected to do more for their clients.”
Shiver understood Alessa’s plight. She, too, had been in the same predicament when she was younger. Unfortunately, Alessa would need to figure things out for herself. Shiver wanted no trouble at this stage of her life. She had escaped her own “Harlin” when she was in her early twenties. She tried her best to muster up an encouraging smile.
“You need to be strong, Alessa. Find a way to move on. You need to be very careful, though, because once someone is hooked on drugs like Harlin is, he’ll become very unpredictable. He is going to panic tonight because he knows that the money he was making off you has dried up,” Shiver said.
Alessa’s bloodshot eyes widened with fear.
“Listen,” Shiver went on. “Be prepared. Harlin is going to turn you out on the streets until he can get you into another go-go bar. The first time he puts you out there, you need to keep going. Don’t stop and don’t look back. Just keep going.”
Alessa understood what she meant. She had done it before when she left her own home. Now there was more uncertainty in store for her.
The two women embraced for a long time. When they parted, Shiver said, “I love you.” She knew she wouldn’t see Alessa ever again and hoped she would follow her advice. She knew everything would be harder for Alessa. She needed to start over. This meant facing the unknown, having nowhere to go and not knowing whom to trust.
For Alessa, the ride home with Harlin was filled with apprehension. Normally, she would be embarrassed that he yelled at her in front of his crew, but tonight, she was glad for their company. She was afraid that Harlin might kill her in his fury. He blamed her for everything. He told her she was a stupid loser and she would need to make it up to him. The next part she had anticipated because Shiver had warned her.
“Your ass will be out on Dauphin Street tomorrow night, you get it?” he seethed. “Now you’ve made my job harder because I got to keep you safe on the streets. You’re a fool for what you did to me tonight! And that little prick, Jay . . . I hate him. He will pay for treating me that way.”
Ten minutes into the car ride, Alessa mentally shut off Harlin’s voice. She was already planning her escape. She had saved four thousand dollars of her dance money. That gave her enough to leave the following night and start over again. She realized she hadn’t talked to Zoe in months and silently scolded herself for being so self-centered.
When they got back to Harlin’s, she immediately went into her bedroom and continued to plan her exit.
About an hour later, Tasha came in and sat on the bed. “I heard what happened. I figured he was making you do those things. I’m sorry, Alessa. I didn’t want this for you.”
Alessa sat down on the bed next to Tasha and put her arm around her. “It’s not your fault,” she said soothingly. “No one is to blame but Harlin. He is shooting the cocaine now.”
Tasha stood up quickly. “What? Are you sure?”
Alessa told her about what she saw in the bathroom. She also told Tasha everything, starting from the first lap dance Harlin had made her perform to the scumbags at the bar and their antics and how Harlin had handled all the “business.” Tasha listened, appalled to discover the truth about her brother, but not entirely surprised. She knew of the big changes that had taken place in him over the last several months.
Alessa then told her about Harlin’s plan to turn her out on the streets the following night.
“He told me tonight on the ride home,” she said. “I can’t do it, Tasha. I need to move on. Please don’t tell him or he’ll kill me. You understand, don’t you?”
Tasha hugged her. “Yes, I do.”
Her confirmation that Harlin could kill her sent a chill up Alessa’s spine. She confided in Tasha about her plan to leave the next night, when she knew Harlin wouldn’t see her. Tasha agreed to help divert his attention to give her enough time to make her escape.
Alessa packed a small duffel bag of clothes and threw it outside her bedroom window. As Tasha was leaving, she picked up the bag, planning to bring it back to her the following night. Before Alessa went to sleep, she pulled a shoebox out from under the bed, where she kept her money. She opened it, only to find it empty. As she stared at its bare cardboard lining, her heart sank. Harlin had stolen all of her money.
She took out her purse to count how much money she had made that night. She was a bit shy of two hundred dollars from dancing and another one hundred fifty she had stashed away for emergencies. She didn’t have much money, but it was enough to get her out of North Philly. She had learned a lot since she first arrived here. She was no longer scared of the streets or the people in them. She had learned that most people were harmless, that they were more unfortunate than dangerous. Alessa had seen too much during her time there, and she was determined to move on.
