Xander devours me.
I don’t even have to open my mouth or participate or do anything.
Both his hands are on my face as he sucks my soul into his, or that’s what I think happens with the way he nibbles on my lip, how he dances with my tongue, how he robs me of air.
He pushes me against the wall and I moan in pure bliss as my back hits the solid surface. My legs wrap around him as he lifts me up and my arms wind around his neck.
God. He’s so strong and agile, his waist taut and narrow and perfect for my legs.
Or is it?
Should we be doing this now?
He lifts my skirt up and I tighten my legs around him, wrenching my lips away. “Wait.”
A groan spills from him. “I’ve waited long enough, Green.”
My breath hitches at the sound of my nickname out of his mouth. That’s the only name I want him to call me until the end of times.
“Maybe we should talk first?” I don’t know why it comes out as a question or why I’m so breathy as I say it.
“I can talk during.” He yanks my skirt up my thighs and it bunches around my waist. “What do you want to talk about? You? Me? How about me fucking you?”
I bite my lower lip as if that will make the reddening cheeks go away. “How about the fact we were siblings not five minutes ago?”
As soon as the words are out, I regret them. It’s like I’m putting a damper on the entire mood. While I never considered him my brother, he did – for seven years.
All these years, he thought we were blood-related, and it must’ve destroyed him from the inside. It bruised his heart and ate away at his knight armour like acid.
“That didn’t stop me from wanting you, it just stopped me from acting on it.” He leans over and traps my lower lip into his mouth. “Partially, at least.”
He fiddles with something between us and my core tightens every time there’s the hint of friction.
While his words should have some sort of a negative effect on me, they don’t. If anything, I’m wetter, hotter.
Xander is the fire and I’m the gasoline waiting to burn.
He’s the ocean in his eyes and all I want to do is drown. Maybe never return.
It’ll be worth it.
“Do you hate me for wanting you?” He wraps a strong arm around my back and aligns his hard cock with my entrance.
This is happening.
Oh, God. This is actually happening.
Don’t faint. Don’t you dare faint and ruin the whole thing.
I force my gaze on him, using him as an anchor, and say the truest words I’ve ever said. “No.”
“How about if I don’t use protection because I want to feel you strangling my dick?”
Why does he have to word it like that and why are my thighs coated with arousal.
“No. I-I’m on the shot.” I’ve been on it for years, secretly hoping he’d one day take me, own me, make me his.
Little did I know, he’d never do that. Until now.
“Fuck, Green.” He breathes harshly against my face. “I waited so long for this, I don’t even know how to start and finish with you.”
“Then don’t finish,” I murmur.
“You bet I won’t. I’ll fuck all this wasted time out of you.”
I lean over to his ear and whisper, “I’ve waited so long for you, too.”
That’s all I get to say as he slides inside me in one go. It begins slow, but as soon as he’s sheathed all in, we both let out a long exhale.
I wait for that sting people say happens the first time, but it’s barely there. Or maybe I’m too lost in the moment and drunk on Xander to feel it.
There have been times where I’ve lain in bed and imagined how it would be, my first time, I mean. Whether it was fast, slow, passionate, or emotional, it didn’t make a difference. Because in all those times, Xander’s face was the only one that appeared.
No fantasy could’ve prepared me to the way he’s taking it easy and being gentle. To the way his entire body is getting accustomed to mine. To the way he’s holding my back with strength but also care.
But I don’t need care right now.
I need him to take me, to make me feel how much he wants me and to prove that he has indeed thought about me before.
“Harder, Xan,” I breathe out.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I want you to hurt me.”
He chuckles, the sound like music to my ears. “My bossy Green is back, isn’t she?”
“Yes. Now do it.”
“I’m big and you’re too fucking tight,” he rasps. “It might hurt for days.”
“I want it to hurt for days.”
“Fuck me.” His blue eyes twinkle with mischievousness. “Why do you want it to hurt for days? So you can remember us?”
I nod.
His smirk coupled with those dimples might’ve secretly slaughtered me. “You won’t have to, because I won’t stop for days.”
A flash of emotions covers his face as he kisses me while picking up his pace. He’s right, I’m too tight, and because of that, each thrust hurts. But it’s the pleasurable type of pain, the type that pulls me in deeper with every second.
My breathing picks up and my nails dig into his golden hair as his hips jerk with the force of his thrusts. My back pounds against the wall and a wave forms at the bottom of my stomach, strong and unyielding.
“Xan… Oh, God…”
“Oh, fuck, fuck!” he grunts against my lips. “Are you close?”
“I think so.”
He reaches a hand between us and flicks my clit, adding a maddening pressure to my pussy. “I can’t hold it in anymore.”
“Neither can I.”
The heels of my shoes dig into his arse as he rams into me with harshness so violent, it makes me delirious for a second, unable to remember where the hell I am or what I’m doing.
His hips jerk over and over, like he can’t control the force thrumming in him.
“I’ve wanted you for so long, Green. For so fucking long.”
“So have I,” I admit through a moan.
“I wanted you even when I shouldn’t have.”
“I don’t care.”
“I wanted you to be mine so much it hurt.”
“You did?”
“I wanted to kidnap you to somewhere no one knows us and fuck you until we could no longer move,” he confesses against my mouth. “I wanted to take you from the world and keep you for myself.”
So why didn’t you?
I don’t say those words aloud since a harsh wave snaps inside me. It’s sudden and wild and before I know it, I’m drowning in it.
His scent is the only thing I breathe, a little bit like an ocean, a lot like mint, and so much like belonging.
Xander has always been the one I can belong with, the only one I’ve never felt as if I should pretend in front of.
He’s been my knight, my anchor. My one and only.
I’m slowly coming down from my wave when I feel something warm dripping down my thighs.
He stares at me with an apologetic expression, even though lust still lingers in there. “I’m surprised I lasted this long with how much I’ve been fantasising about you.”
I bite my lower lip, then release it at the corner. “You’ve been fantasising about me?”
“All the damn time. It drove me fucking insane.”
My fingers get lost in his hair as I peek at him through my lashes. “Even when you were with others?”
“What others?” He brushes his lips against mine. “You’re my first, Green.”
