THE MOMENT SAGE and Felix leave, I decide to put my big girl panties on and go see Atlas finally. I can’t deal with the ache in my chest for Nox, but I can definitely do something about the mess in my head over my confined Bond.
I take the coward’s way out and speak to North directly through our minds so that I don’t have to argue with him face-to-face. Is Atlas in his room? I want to see him. Without a guard or whatever, I want to see my Bond.
I’m met with a very charged form of silence, one where I know he’s hating this idea but wants to have a good argument on why I can’t go see my own Bond. I stay quiet for a minute, but when I feel him hesitate, I push it a little further. I don’t… feel good and I need him.
It’s the truth, but it still feels like I’m being manipulative saying it because North immediately relents, agreeing for my own good to get over his concerns and fears of Atlas’ motives if it means I’ll feel better.
Take the creatures with you. I’ll tell Nox to stay out of his, so long as you’re not asking for help. Know that I’m only okay with this because Gryphon is sure about him, even if we’re not. If he showed any deception so far, I wouldn’t be doing this, Bonded.
The words sound controlling, but I’m seeing him clearer now. He’s attempting to reassure me and tell me how much I mean to him, he’s just not the best at wording it.
If anything feels wrong to me, I’ll tell you. Is Gryphon close too? My bond isn’t entirely opposed to killing Bonds if I’m in danger, so don’t worry about that either, I send back, aiming for my own personal brand of reassurance, but he’s not a huge fan of it either.
I change into pants and pull on one of Nox’s sweaters to help push back the longing there for a little longer. I usually avoid Nox’s things around Atlas if I can, but my skin is extra tight on my bones today.
I sigh and talk to Gryphon on my way down to Atlas’ room, the puppies walking alongside me nicely with each other. I think I need to sleep in Atlas’ room tonight and not yours. Is that… okay? I also need to sleep in with Nox again, tomorrow if I can. Is it possible or will he get mad about it?
When I get out of the elevator and attempt to take a wrong turn, August bumps my thigh to get me back on to the right path, the perfect guide through this ridiculous house.
I’ll sort it out. Don’t worry about him, Bonded. Just focus on Bassinger for now. I want to know what he says to you, so come see me after.
When I get to Atlas’ door, I take a second to collect myself. It’s stupid. I was in his damn head yesterday, but it still feels like there’s something between us now. Something that’s changed him from the Bond I was closest to, could rely on without question, to now being someone with secrets and a very questionable past.
It also makes him more real to me.
Gabe wasn’t wrong, there was always something about Atlas that put me a little on edge. Something about how all in he was that was a little disconcerting. It just didn’t add up, but now that there’s a reason for it all, I feel like it makes sense. It’s still an issue, but I feel better about getting past it together.
Just as soon as I can knock on this door.
I lift my hand up right as it opens and Atlas drawls, “Do you need another minute, Bond, or do you wanna come in?”
I roll my eyes and step into him, scooting the puppies around him while I give my Bond a bone-crushing hug. Well, my bones feel crushed, but I’m sure his super strong and indestructible self is breathing just fine.
I tuck my face into his chest as he takes a step back, pulling me into his room with him and kicking the door shut behind us both. The puppies both sniff around in the space, though August stays within touching distance of me at all times. I know North promised not to spy on us both, but his creature is just as surly and overprotective as the Bonded, and I refuse to admit how endearing that is to me.
“I missed you so fucking much. I used to think sleeping separately four nights out of five was bad but, fuck, Sweetness. I can’t go that long without you again.”
I nod into his chest and rub my nose against the soft fabric of his shirt. He smells clean and warm and mine, which is my favorite combination, and when he tugs us both towards the bed to sit down together, I don’t fight him.
When we finally pull away from each other, I look around the room a bit and blush, which is stupid, but the last time I saw his bed, I was in his head with him, jerking that glorious dick of his off until he came all over his fist.
“Wanna go again, little Bond?” he drawls, and I duck my head.
“Don’t tempt me. It’s been—it’s a lot. All of this. It’s a lot to process and go through. I also don’t want to get stronger still, and everything is sort of messy.”
He pulls a face, reminded of exactly what I’m here for, and I nod my head with a sigh. “I came here to hear it all. To hear from you about your family and… how you’ve decided to not be a part of the Resistance with them.”
He swallows and nods, clearing his throat nervously. “I’ve been planning how I’d do this for months and now that it’s time to do it, I feel like I’m about to fuck it up. Please just… hear me out. It’s not all wonderful and virtuous. I’m a shitty human for big chunks of it, but I came home to you. That’s what counts, right?”
I refuse to nod, mostly because I can’t agree to it until I have the details.
“I grew up in Resistance propaganda. My family is pretty high up in the ranks. My dad is even close personal friends with Silas Davies.”
I nod. “I know. I saw him when I got to the camps with Kieran.”
He grimaces and nods. “He was always leaving to check in on various different camps and going through the Gifted who had been taken. He knew they were after you for years before Silas took you. There had been rumors about your gift, but your parents moved you around a lot to keep you hidden. They were smart but outmatched by Silas’ arsenal.”
This isn’t new to me.
Silas had told me all about this, about how I’m responsible in every way that counts for my parents’ deaths. About how we moved constantly because I couldn’t stop using my gift or showing off my void eyes at the worst of times. I know it, but it still hurts that he knows it too.
I swallow and nod so he’ll continue, to get this story out faster, as though he’s ripping a band-aid off of my soul.
“When we were called about my blood flagging in the same Bond Group as the Dravens, there was an entire family meeting. My dad was cagey as hell about it and Aurelia’s Bonds all had opinions to throw into the mix, but my mom just got wasted. I’ve never seen her drink like that before, but she just downed glass after glass of wine as though it were water.”
He takes another breath, shifting on the bed and scratching at the back of his neck like he’s uncomfortable before he continues, “This is the part that I’m ashamed to tell you about, and the part I didn’t tell the others, because it’s none of their business. So, I found out right after that you’d gone missing. My dad made a fuss about it, but he was actually happy that I wouldn’t be coming here and being around the Dravens. I… thought the same as the rest of the Bonds, that you didn’t want us, and I acted like a fucking idiot. I went out with my friends a lot, drinking and partying, and I… slept around a lot. I thought I was getting back at you for leaving me behind before you’d even met me. I was a stupid, selfish dickhead.”
I mean, I knew that all of my Bonds hadn’t waited for me. Even the two closest to my age had very obviously chosen to sleep around before they’d met me, but I don’t really want to hear about it, and knowing that he ramped it up in retaliation for something I’d never done… yeah, this isn’t my favorite moment for us to share.
He looks at me closely and when I don’t say anything, he continues, his voice a little stronger now that he’s gotten that part over with, “This went on for a couple of years. Right up until about six months before North and Gryphon found you while you were on the run, actually. My parents were all out of town for a Resistance function. Yeah, the Top Tier families in the Resistance throw galas and shit to raise money for the cause. It’s a whole different world on the East Coast than it is here. It’s… really different than it is here, actually. So, anyway, they were out of town and my mom changed the password to the butler’s cellar. It’s a passcode thing, and she did it so I couldn’t drink while they were gone, so I went snooping through her shit with one of my friends who knew enough about coding and hacking to be useful… On her computer, I found videos. I got my friend out before he saw anything really, but then I sat for two days while my parents were gone and watched the recordings of Silas Davies torturing you. My fourteen-year-old Bond being carved open as though you were nothing but a slab of meat to a butcher.”
My heart stutters to a stop in my chest.
I never knew there were recordings. I knew there were cameras, so of course there was a chance that there were tapes but, fuck, I hadn’t even thought it through that far.
I swallow roughly and he takes my hand, carefully so I can pull away from him if I want to. I don’t want to though. I want him to hold me because… I don’t even remember half of what was done to me thanks to my bond. To think that he’s seen it all—nope.
What’s happening? Oleander, I’m coming up.
I blink back the useless tears in my eyes and answer North immediately. Don’t. We’re just talking and he told me about the tapes. I’m guessing he’s told you already?
He is slower to answer but the urgency is out of his tone. I’ve seen them. Take a break and come see me. Leave this alone until later.
But I can’t. I need to know everything so that I can have my Bond back and know exactly what else he has on me that I didn’t know about. Fuck, North’s seen the tapes now too?
“You have them here, with you? Have they all seen them?” My voice is more of a croak, and when some of the tears spill out of my eyes, I hastily wipe them away.
He looks devastated when I pull my hand away from him but shakes his head. “No. Just North and Gryphon. I wouldn’t let them keep the footage because I didn’t want Nox seeing them. I know that you’re still on the fence with him at least, and I wasn’t letting him… see you like that. The other two had to see them to understand why I won’t ever side with my family. Ever, Oli. I would never side with people who did that to you.”
I can believe that, even without Gryphon’s lie detecting ability, because I can feel just how badly he needs me to believe him pouring out of his soul in my direction. He’s being very careful about keeping his bond away from mine, obviously so that I don’t assume he’s using it against me, but I can still read him like a book right now.
He means every word.
He also told me about sleeping around when I’m sure he’d rather not have talked about that but he’s being completely transparent.
So I nod again and murmur, “What happened then?”
He takes a deep breath and tips his head back to stare at the ceiling. “I confronted my mom about it. She didn’t want to tell me anything, but when I told her I was going to the Dravens to help look for you, she broke and admitted that she knew about them taking you. She’d lied to me about you so I wouldn’t go looking for you, and she ‘forbade’ me from finding you because of what Silas wants from you. The problem with her plan was that I was already nineteen at that point and had access to my trust fund. There was nothing she could do to stop me, not without telling my dad or the others what I was doing. So I planned out how I was going to find you and be with you on the run, and when I say that I had everything planned out, I mean everything, Sweetness. From moving my trust fund into an offshore account so that my dad couldn’t trace the money to knowing the exact whereabouts of all of the Resistance camps and having them mapped out so we could stay away from them.”
My jaw drops, but he just smiles ruefully at me. “Getting you a passport without it flagging with Silas was hard, but I did it. I was going to try to talk you into going to Singapore with me. They have really strong anti-Resistance measures there, lots of security and surveillance. While I didn’t love the idea of being monitored all of the time, I’m all about keeping you out of those fucking camps.”
Tears start up in my eyes again, but this time it’s because my heart is pounding in my chest like he’s just declared his undying love to me. Well, I guess he sort of has. Running away together? To a whole other country just to keep us both safe which, in turn, would have kept the other Bonds safe as well?
As much as I need them all, I sort of wish it had gone that way.
“Except then Shore and his TacTeam found you. I have no fucking clue how they managed it when Silas couldn’t, but they did. All of my planning went down the drain. I had to pivot to being here with you and hoping you’d want to run away with me. The GPS chip was in the way, and the sheer amount of security North has on you makes it really fucking hard, but I could’ve made it work… but then you started scenting and nesting. You Bonded with Shore thanks to that Davenport bitch. I knew we couldn’t run without taking everyone. That would have been impossible, so now I’m working on giving the Dravens as much information as I can to keep you safe. Dad and Silas haven’t figured out that I’m the one giving it to you all yet so, for now, it’s useful.”
I give him a look because this is all part of the story that has never made sense to me.
How did they not know that I was his Bond? They had all of the pieces and information and yet—they just didn’t know? It’s the one part that makes the story seem… like a story and not the complete truth.
Atlas nods slowly without me saying a word and answers the unasked question without hesitating, “My mom. That’s how. She knew that Silas and my dad would both sacrifice me for their goals without second thought. My mom might be a part of the Resistance, but she’s my mom first. She hates you, hates the Dravens, hates every part of this situation, but she loves me more than she hates. So, the day you escaped, the reason Silas finally left the camp? My mom. The reason you stayed a step ahead of them all the way? My mom. Every time something went your way that shouldn’t have, my mom was behind it. She manipulated security footage, organized holes for you to slip through, and used her own gift to take out lower Resistance members to keep an eye on you. Then, once you were captured by the Dravens, she had the coordinates for the GPS chip sent to her as well so that she could keep an eye on you easier. Before you ask, I didn’t know about it until Sawyer mentioned it. I knew it had to be her, and I called her to ream her about it. She just won’t give up.”
I blow out a breath and nod to him, looking away as I process that.
Well, it does neatly fix all of the holes in my story. Too neatly? Only time will tell, but when I think about it, I really did have too many close calls and lucky moments in my time on the run from them all. Holy shit. A reluctant and hateful guardian angel. Just my freaking luck.
I hum under my breath as I think, and he stands up from the bed, stretching out his back and stalking over to the closet, bringing back bottles of water for us both. I shoot him a look as I take the cold bottle and he grins. “I decided that if I’m going to be stuck in here, then I’m going to make the place more comfortable. I got a mini bar and some other shit so that I could stop calling the kitchens and dealing with the chef’s attitude.”
I drink some of the water and then put the bottle on the bedside table before I finally bridge the gap between us. I’m sure there’s more to talk about. I’m sure more shit will come up between us in the future, but for now, I’m satisfied. For now, I just want my goddamned Bond.
I lean forward to press my face back into his chest, and I can feel the instant relief in his as he pulls me into his arms. The buzzing feeling under my skin settles a little. It’s strange the different ways that my bond protests being separated from each of them. Gryphon and North are different now that we’ve Bonded, but my need for Nox is a slow itch, Gabe is an ache in my chest, and Atlas is this energy that won’t leave me, egging me on to find him and wrap myself around him.
He takes my hands as though he can read my mind as well and rubs his thumbs over my pulse points where my blood is thrumming with excess energy. “You Bonded with North.”
Just like Gabe, he’s not saying it as an accusation. He’s just putting it out there into the air, and I nod. “I did. It was my choice this time and… I don’t regret it.”
He nods back. “I don’t want you to regret it. I’d kill any of them for pushing you. But what did it do to your power? Did you have a surge or anything new pop up?”
I tilt my head to the side as I consider it. I’ve thought about it, of course I have, but the only answer I’ve come up with seems fake and like wishful thinking.
“I feel stronger. Not more powerful or anything, I just feel more sure of myself and what I can do.”
He nods and squeezes my hands. “I’m not just saying this because I want you. I do want you, nothing will ever change that, but after you and Gryphon Bonded, I’d been watching for some big change that never happened. Oli, have you ever considered that maybe your bond won’t grow in power because it’s already at full capacity?”
I frown and he scoots back on the bed, tugging me until I’m straddling his thighs. My bond purrs in my chest at having him this close again. The distance between us has been the hardest part of all of the changes we’ve been going through. He lets go of my hands only to span his palms over my hips, pulling me down into his core a little more. He’s hard underneath me, his dick reacting to having me this close to him, but he just continues on like this is all business as usual for him.
“You’re the strongest Soul Render in recorded history. I know, I spent a long time researching it. What if Bonding with us is just going to make your bond more settled and secure? You were tortured. You were so young when Silas got his hands on you, your bond came out to protect you. I think that has changed the way things are happening. That and… the color of your eyes. That isn’t Soul Render specific. The Dravens are the only other family I’ve found with black bond eyes. There’s something there that we’re missing too. I hope now that we’re all on the same page about things, that maybe we can figure it out. Together.”
He kisses me softly, slowly, but not pushing for more. “Just think about it, Sweetness. Just think about it, and we can talk more later. I’m not pushing you, but if you can think of anything that means I’m wrong, I want to know about it. This is all I care about right now, getting you settled and secure in your gift and your bond. You shouldn’t be running scared anymore. I won’t have it, Sweetness. I can’t stand the thought of how long you’ve been doing this by yourself.”
I nod and lean forward to press my face into his shoulder, something settling inside of me now that I’ve had my fill of them all. Nox is the only one I haven’t spent any time with, but my constant connection to him thanks to Brutus means it takes longer for the cravings to hit me when it comes to him.
“Everything is going to be okay.”
I scoff. “Why does everyone keep saying that to me?”
He chuckles at me and rubs a hand over my spine. “Because you’re going to worry about every little part of this. You care about us all, you miss your freedom, everything seems terrible. Of course we’re all going to try to reassure you, because it will get better.”
I quiet down and enjoy the safety of his arms for a little longer, our heartbeats syncing up because we were made for each other. Maybe—maybe someday I will be able to Bond with him. Maybe he’s right and we’ll get this forever, this safety and security and love.
Eventually, he moves me over into his bed properly. He helps me strip off the sweater I’m wearing, and the yoga pants because I prefer to sleep in my underwear or shorts, and then he stalks over to his own side of the bed, shedding clothes as he goes. He’s still hard, his dick not getting the ‘no Bonding’ memo at all, but after spending a morning in his head while he jerked off, it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me anymore.
I have more experience handling men and their desires now, so much so in such a small amount of time that my head is still spinning from it.
I curl up in his arms and let him fuss with our position until he’s happy with how we’re lying. August stays on the floor next to the bed, watching me carefully until it’s clear Atlas has fallen asleep, and then he lies down to sleep there. I know that he’s here for North’s peace of mind, but there’s still something comforting about having him with us and I let myself drift off to sleep.
God knows how much later, I wake up at the sound of the door, but August doesn’t move from where he’s curled up on the floor by my side of the bed. Of course not, it’s North coming in to check on us. When I lift my head, he steps over to give me a soft kiss, stroking my hair, as he pulls up another chair to sit in.
“You’re going to watch us sleep?” I mumble.
He unbuttons his sleeves and rolls them up. “You. I’m going to watch over you.”
I wake up with my bond feeling far more content in my chest about the proximity to Atlas. I try to convince North to let him out of his room for the day so we can go watch something in the giant home theater. When he doesn’t budge, we lie around in bed and watch the normal-sized TV instead. It’s less showy, but Atlas calls the kitchens and orders up a feast for us, telling them it’s for me so that no one dares to question him about it, and we eat fish tacos and chicken quesadillas in bed like the best of heathens.
It’s a little bit magical.
Gabe comes looking for me sometime after lunch to drag me away, and Atlas makes a big show of kissing me senseless at the door. Gabe barely bats an eyelid at the display, just waits until I pull away from him, red-faced and breathing a little too hard, before he slings an arm over my shoulders and directs me back down the hallway to head up to my own room.
I send Sage a text message and we agree to meet up at dinner, then I climb into the shower in an attempt to straighten myself out a bit.
I feel like I’m stuck in a time loop.
Like the days are stretching on and I’m just… lying around in a fucking bed all day with one of my Bonds, being absolutely useless while people like Davies are out there hurting, torturing, and murdering innocent people.
I’m a monster.
I try not to sound shrill and a bit psycho when I step out of the bathroom and say to Gabe, “I’m going to go crazy in this house if I’m not allowed out of it soon. I’m not trying to be a pain but seriously, Gabe, I can’t stay in here like this forever.”
I leave out the part where I have, indeed, already gone a little crazy.
He nods and takes my hand, threading our fingers together as he tugs me towards the door. “There’s a plan for that. North is working pretty much nonstop on it, but I’ll leave it to him to tell you. I’m not going to steal his thunder there. You just focus on getting better—”
I cut him off. “I am better! I’m all healed up and ready to use my gift and my terrifying bond on whoever I need to. Let’s get out of here for the night. Go hunt something.”
His eyebrows shoot all the way up his forehead and he blinks at me. “Go… hunt something? I thought you didn’t want to use your gift? You change your mind too much for me to keep up with, Bond.”
I huff and roll my shoulders back, the jitters taking over with how stir crazy I feel. “I don’t want to go around killing people but… I guess it felt good to get a lot of people out of that camp. I’d just sort of run away from it all and tried to forget about it, but being back there and seeing what’s happening to people there… I can’t keep my head in the sand over it. I need to get off my spoiled ass and go help out.”
He tugs me into his chest and reaches down with one hand to give said ass a firm squeeze. “It doesn’t feel spoiled to me. It feels fucking perfect, and maybe you should just slow your roll a little. You have no real Tac training, only the few classes that you were giftless for, mostly anyway, and Gryph will knock you back the second you attempt to bring it up. Don’t even think about running off. North has extra security on you, and there’s no chance that Black will take you anywhere again. He will be killed if he tries, and that’s not an exaggeration. North has made it clear that he’ll face the shadow creatures if he ever transports you without one of them again.”
Huh.
That seems a bit extreme, and I groan dramatically until Gabe grins down at me again and says, “Let’s go down for dinner. That’ll keep your mind away from hunting and wiping out the Resistance.”
He’s not wrong.
Dinner is a lot louder with this many people sitting around the table. Sawyer and Grey both attempt to butter up the creatures by feeding them pieces of steak, and I’m shocked when it works. Brutus is sitting at their feet with big, round eyes while he waits for his next piece. August stays at my side but happily takes the pieces Sawyer throws over to him.
“They don’t really have taste buds or stomachs. You’re just wasting food,” drawls North, cutting his own steak up like an aristocrat.
I roll my eyes at him and snark, “You have a magic TV in your room that appears out of thin air. We can feed the babies steaks without worrying about the food bill.”
Gabe smothers back a laugh, choking a little on it, and Gryphon grins at me from across the table. August rests his head on my thigh and licks at my fingers, enjoying the lobster juices even if it’s not really doing anything nutritionally for him.
I wait until they all look happy enough with their meals before I very carefully say, “So what are the plans here, long term? I’m about ready to start tearing walls down if I’m holed up for much longer.”
Gryphon raises an eyebrow at me. “Training starts again at five a.m. tomorrow. Do you still need me to come get you, or can you make it to the gym on your own now?”
Oh, that’s definitely not what I was after.
Gabe roars with laughter at the horrified look on my face while I struggle to think of a good reason to get out of it.
If you’re healed enough to fuck North and I at once, then you can train, Gryphon says. Although I want to murder the asshole for saying it, I can acknowledge that at least he didn’t make it public.
The tiniest amount of brownie points to him.
Nothing that will strain her legs. Go easy on her.
My cheeks heat, because of course they’re both happy to run free in my head while I’m trying to eat my goddamned seafood.
“Why are you the exact shade of tomato soup right now, Bond?” Gabe murmurs, and I startle back into myself, looking around the table like a criminal who’s been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
“Gryphon has no table manners, and that’s all I’m saying. He’s dragging me to training. You’ll come too, right? Save me from his sadistic ways.”
Atlas’ hand is gentle on my thigh under the table, stroking reverently over the perfectly healed skin there. They all keep fussing with it. North wanting me to go easy on it makes no sense. I’ve healed up fully, so well that there’s no scar, but I also won’t argue about it. I don’t want to do squats and burpees.
Running is taking it easy though, right?
Totally.
Kieran looks at me over the table and shakes his head slowly. “She needs to see a Tac Psych. You should put off the training until she has.”
I poke a fork in his direction. “Shut your mouth, narc. I’m fine. I’ve healed, and there’s nothing I need to talk about.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me, the bastard, and says, “That man knew exactly where to cut you to get your bond out. You knew what was coming before he even opened the tool box. None of that comes without a lot of sessions. If your Bonds give a shit about you, they’ll get you in therapy.”
North looks over at me and I feel everyone’s eyes on my skin, but I talk directly to him because I already know that it’ll be him forcing me into it. “My bond is the one who deals with that shit. If you send me to therapy, it’ll have to be the one to talk. Do you really want to do that to some poor woman?”
Shit.
Don’t think about it being a woman, don’t go down that thought spiral again, Oli.
What thought spiral?
I roll my eyes at Gryphon. Are you ever going to get out of my head? Why am I even asking? Of course you won’t. The spiral about thinking of how many people you lot have all fucked.
He raises an eyebrow at me. Why would thinking about a psych do that to you? Why exactly are you so convinced that North has fucked every woman he comes across? And why don’t you feel the same way about the rest of us?
Stupid Bonds.
I turn away from him and back to Kieran. “I don’t need therapy. I need a nap and for everyone to leave my bond alone so it doesn’t go on another soul-eating binge again. That’s it. So just drop it.”
Sage meets my eye across the table and nibbles on her bottom lip a little, looking guilty.
“Don’t do this to me, Sage. Don’t throw me to the wolves like this. We’re supposed to have each other’s backs here!”
She scrunches her nose up with a smile and says, “I love my psych. Maybe you can see him?”
North cuts in before I can whine about my bestie’s betrayal. “Who do you see? I’ll arrange for him to come here once he’s been through the security measures.”
Sage opens her mouth but I cut her off, snapping at North, “I definitely do not need another man in my life trawling through my head. I have enough of that shit happening right here!”
All of the other chatter at the table stops at my outburst, and one of the kitchen staff who was putting out extra plates scurries back into the kitchens as though she’s worried about what’s going to happen to me for being so rude.
I’m not.
Sort of. Okay, I’m sure there’s still plenty of shit that North will be more than willing to do to me as punishment for not just happily going along with his plans, but I draw the line here. I don’t want to speak to someone. I don’t want to pour my heart out to some stranger. I’m not ready for that sort of thing yet.
I barely want to talk about it with my Bonds, who are supposed to love me and accept me no matter what.
Sawyer leans into his sister’s side and mock whispers, “Are we about to see them fuck over the potatoes? Because while I didn’t ask for that on the menu, I’m down to have a front row seat.”
The look that North levels at him makes me want to die on his behalf. I shove a spoonful of vegetables in my mouth so I look too busy to get involved, as though I can ignore this entire mess of a conversation and it’ll just disappear. Grey just groans and covers his eyes with his hands like he’s preparing himself for what shitstorm Sawyer has brought on him by default.
Sawyer excuses himself from the table shortly after, apparently too chicken-shit to deal with North now that he’s pissed him off. Grey leaves with him, and shortly after, Sage gives me an apologetic sort of smile of her own as she heads out with her Bonds as well. I was hoping to actually speak to her but the tension in the room is thick, and I don’t blame her for wanting to get the hell outta Dodge.
It’s quiet for a minute, and then Nox opens his fat mouth.
I should’ve seen his attitude coming from a mile away because it’s been too peaceful around here lately, so of course he wants to ruin it for us all.
“So Bassinger failed to convince you to Bond with him as well? Or are you only interested in Bonding with the more powerful Bonds in the group? You’re a lot more calculating than I was expecting, Poison.”
I roll my eyes and shake my head at North when he death stares his brother down the long expanse of the table. I don’t need him fighting this war for me. If I let them all fight over me right here at the start, it’ll never end.
Instead, I sigh and turn to face Nox. He’s not drinking for once, but there’s also a focus in him that hasn’t been there for weeks, like whatever it was that knocked him off-kilter has passed and he’s back to being the stable professor again.
I fight back all the same. “I’m not going to sit around and let you talk shit about me or try to make me feel bad about Bonding with North. Not now and not ever, Draven. So you can just give up on it. And not that it’s anyone’s business what I choose to do with my own goddamned body, but I’m going to see what my gift does now. If it gets stronger, then we’ll make decisions from there. But again, it’s none of your business or anyone else’s. Being one of my Bonds doesn’t mean I owe you shit, Nox.”
Gabe’s hand slips onto my thigh and squeezes gently, a silent show of support, but naturally Nox picks up on it anyway and sneers at us both. “Picking favorites? It appears panting after her like a lovesick puppy isn’t doing you any favors, Gabe. You should really change tactics if you want her that badly.”
Gabe turns to stone next to me and my eyes narrow in Nox’s direction. I’m mostly fine with him taking swipes in my direction, but I’m learning that there’s nothing that pisses me off faster than him taking a swipe at one of my other Bonds.
Especially the one who has accepted me and my reasons for wanting to take things extra slow.
“The only person around here who needs to change anything is you. I don’t know what the hell has happened between us that makes you this twisted about me, but I don’t owe you anything. Gabe doesn’t owe you shit.”
“So you’ve just been lying and manipulating all of your Bonds to get what you want? I tried to warn my brother that this is what would happen—”
I cut him off before I have to hear anymore of his twisted version of things. “Oh yeah? What if I bond with you all and suddenly my power gets even stronger? What about if I sneeze and kill everyone in our town? Fuck you, Nox. Fuck you and your unbelievably privileged life. At least your shadows heel when you tell them to. You can stop whenever you want. I don’t have that option.“
His lip curls at me, but North has obviously had enough of listening to us tear into one another and says in a cold tone, “Nox, walk it off. You’re not doing yourself any favors right now.”
He stares North down for a minute and then grabs one of the linen napkins and wipes his hands, shoving his plate away from himself and pushing his chair back without another word.
I reach for the chocolate cheesecake that’s sitting in front of me, because I’m done eating real food and now is the time for a sugar coma to kick in. I throw all of my sass into my tone, just to cut him down a little more as I snark, “Such a good little boy, doing just what you’re told.”
The reaction is instant and severe.
An emotion that I can’t believe flashes across Nox’s face right before his bond kicks in and his eyes flash into the voids as it takes over. Shadows begin pouring out of his body in a slow, ominous stream.
Stop.
North’s voice echoes in my head, but I don’t know what the hell I’ve done to trigger Nox’s bond. The black curls wrap around his wrists and the creature that has come out of his chest to stare at me has its jaw wide open, its teeth glistening as he snarls soundlessly in my direction.
What did I do?
North answers immediately, firmly and with a no-bullshit air that helps the panic in my chest ease a little. Nothing. This is just a problem for him, and you need to leave it alone. He can’t control his reactions to… this sort of thing.
I try to meet his eye across the table but he’s focused entirely on Nox, his own eyes shifting to black as well.
“Fuck,” Gabe mutters. He braces a hand on the table across me like he’s preparing to cover me entirely. I want to think that it’s just overprotective Bond shit, but Gryphon is moving slowly on the other side of the table, clearly trying not to provoke either of the brothers, but he’s moving towards me as well.
What did I do?
There’s a cold press of a wet nose on my ankle and I look down at Brutus. He looks miserable, sadness pouring out of him, but he’s still checking in on me to see if I’m okay while his Gifted is having a very man-version of a meltdown at the dinner table.
Thank God Sage and the others aren’t here for it as well.
Gryphon answers me. You didn’t do it on purpose, but don’t talk to him like that, Oli. I know that’s not fair because he was crossing the line already, but you just hit a trip line inside him and he can’t stop himself from this sort of reaction.
I barely even remember what I’d said.
When Gryphon finally makes it over to me, he continues to move slowly as he pulls me up out of the chair and into his body, shifting until he’s covering me entirely. The problem is that what North’s bond said to me in the bathroom keeps swirling around in my head. I don’t want him between me and the shadows, even when they’re snarling.
But when I try to step around him, Gryphon’s arm tightens around me and Gabe moves to begin pulling me towards the door as well. I don’t want to leave either of them, not when it’s my fault this is happening. I’m not going to beat myself up about it but, fuck, I should help, right?
You’ll only make things worse. You’re his Bond. That’s enough to break what shred of control he has left.
They both bully me out of the dining room, but I hold firm about staying in the hallway, listening to the murmuring of North attempting to firmly talk his brother down from whatever the fuck I’ve caused here.
When Gryphon tries one last time to get me moving, I stand my ground. “I’m staying here until they’re done in there. I’m sleeping in Nox’s bed tonight anyway. I have to wait for them.”
Gryphon gives me a look but nods, sliding his hulking form down the wall until he’s sitting with me, and Gabe folds himself into a pile on the other side of me. I don’t feel tired but as the minutes stretch into an hour, I let my head drop down onto Gryphon’s shoulder and my eyes drift shut.
I wake up to North murmuring quietly, “He’s fine. He’s gone down to the gym. Maybe you should go and keep an eye on him.”
I blink to try to clear the sleep from my eyes, but North is good about helping me up and getting me back over to the elevator without much effort on my part. With a gentle hand, he directs me the whole way there, opening Nox’s bedroom door for me and then holding my hand up the stairs. He perches on the couch while I climb into the bed.
“I’ll stay until you’re asleep, Bonded. Just rest, and Gryphon will be here for you in the morning.”
It shouldn’t be that easy, but my bond trusts him implicitly, so I’m drifting off in minutes. Nox is on the couch instead of North when I wake a few hours later, his creatures surrounding me except for the one who had snarled at me at the table who looked as though he’d rip my throat out at the drop of a hat. No, that one is sleeping across Nox’s chest in a savage looking smoke form that is still more teeth than anything else. I get the feeling he’s there to make sure I don’t get close to his master.
