Chapter 5 – Alyssa
Well, I survived seeing Julian not only face to face, but back at the office while he’s wearing one of those super-hot suits of his. I survived. That’s all that matters.
However, I am not prepared to walk into the restroom before going back to my place and seeing a beautiful young businesswoman texting on her iPhone.
“Oh, sorry.” I only came in to wash my hands. This time of year, they always feel so grimy thanks to the pollen flying around. “Didn’t know anyone else would be in here.” I say that because, even though we women are notorious for going to the bathroom more than men, there aren’t nearly as many female employees at Bradley & Marcus as there are male. Well, not on these floors, anyway. (Another reason for me to walk the hell away from Julian and his bullshit.)
The blond woman puts her phone away and flashes me a curt smile. “No worries. Last I checked, we can share the sinks. Unless things are different in the PNW.”
“Not that I know of.” A flashy emerald and diamond ring twinkles on her left hand. Her dress is carefully tailored to hide her stomach. Bloat? Weight gain? Or…
Her phone rings. “Alice Monroe,” she greets, fixing her stray hairs in the mirror. “I should be there within ninety minutes. With any luck, I’ll walk into my own bedroom by midnight back home.”
Alice… Monroe?
Holy shit! That’s not bloat she’s hiding. That’s her post-baby weight… wait… what is she doing all the way out here? Where’s Mr. Monroe? Was that meeting happening today?
Why am I somewhat star struck? Is it because this woman is fancier than I expected? Younger? Or is it all her money that makes her look younger than she really is? I know that her husband is still in his earlier thirties, but…
She puts her phone down. “And you are?”
Her whole body is turned toward me. Aside from the curve-hugging black dress adorning her body and the twinkling wedding ring on her hand, her throat is encircled by a sleek and understated… collar.
Yes, she is definitely Damon Monroe’s wife. Now that I also know how to recognize collars like that? It makes me think of Julian and the tenderness he always showed me even when he was being the dominant one in the bedroom.
I admit, I’m half-disappointed that he didn’t try to get me back right there in the conference room. I was prepared. Ready for him to emotionally tear me apart in front of a professional audience. I was going to put my guards up. Fight him off. Convince myself that we weren’t meant to be.
Then… nothing.
“Sorry,” I apologize again, fighting back images of Julian and how he always made love to me. “I’m Alyssa Pendleton. I used to work here.”
“Oh… oh.” Mrs. Monroe’s grin grows wider. “I’ve heard about you. My husband spoke of you the last couple of times he met with Mr. Marcus.”
“Did he, now…” I can only imagine what Mr. Monroe had to say about me to his wife.
Alice Monroe leans against the sinks, her ring reflecting the soft light of the women’s restroom. “Only nice things, of course. I thought that you and Mr. Marcus were an item?”
“Er…” Could I look any more pathetic? “We sort of broke up a little while ago.”
“Oh! That’s too bad.” Alice is legitimately surprised that I’m no longer with Julian. Apparently, the news hasn’t reached the east coast yet. Guess that means Julian and Mr. Bradley don’t have to worry much about their reputation, especially if I drop my end of the suit after an out of court settlement. “I didn’t mean to drag that up. Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.” My eye keeps going back to the dainty, subtle collar wrapped around Mrs. Monroe’s throat. Is it something she wears all the time? Is it something she wears only when she travels, to have that connection to her husband? What does he wear or do to think about her?
Why does it make me so sad?
As if she knows what I’m staring at, Mrs. Monroe touches her collar and looks back toward the mirror. “Dating men like that isn’t easy. Trust me. I know. I met Damon one year ago, and look at me now. I wish I could say it was as simple as love and lust at first sight, but it never works that way. Especially for me. I wasn’t born into that world. My mom’s a nurse, for Pete’s sake.”
I laugh. “I’m not from that world, either. Guess I was too overwhelmed by what they think they can get away with. Felt too much like chattel at times.”
“Yes.” Alice studies her image in the mirror for a long moment. Is she thinking back to when she looked a little more beneath her current station? She carries herself well, being the wife of a billionaire and all, but sometimes she gives off a hint of “I practiced this until it was completely second nature. It was the only way to survive being with my husband.” Being Mrs. Monroe must carry more responsibility and gravitas than being Mrs. Marcus. Those New England families don’t fuck around with their legacies. “It’s one thing to be a fling or a short-term lover. They pamper you, they show you things you’ve only dreamed of… they change your life so quickly that you realize you can never go back to being the humbler woman you used to be. Even so, you know that a man’s infatuation is fleeting. There are many days when I seriously worry that I’ll wake up and find a new Mrs. Monroe being moved into my house and bedroom. I have to trust my husband when he says I’m the only woman he could possibly want for the rest of his life.”
I think of how many times Julian came close to saying that he loved me. From what I know of the Monroes, they were already legally married by this point. I can’t even imagine being married to Julian right now! The closest we got to talking about marriage was him saying we could possibly be together a long time. I always imagined us living together for a few years before broaching marriage – I would want to make sure that it was for real, you know? Plus, I’ve got stuff I wanna do, like possibly going to grad school! How am I supposed to plan for a wedding and be Mrs. Marcus while going to grad school?
Why am I even thinking about this? We broke up. It’s over.
Alice must catch the forlorn look on my face, for she quickly says, “I’m so sorry to bring any of that up. If it’s any consolation, there was a period of time where I broke things off with Damon as well. Because, like you said, the things billionaires seem to get away with are all too overwhelming.” She pulls her bag off the sink and turns toward the door. “Take care, Alyssa. If you can’t patch things up with Mr. Marcus, I hope you at least get some worth out of that relationship.”
It’s such an odd thing for a woman like her to say to me, but I’m not offended? If anything, I’m relieved. Here I was starting to think that I would never find someone who understood what I’ve been through with Julian. Because Cher sure as hell didn’t understand. She kicked my ass out of her apartment and back to mine the moment she heard I planned on dropping out of the suit. Don’t think she counted on me being genuinely in love with Julian.
Now, as for the other way around…
I step out of the bathroom – and right into Julian.
“Lyssa.”
He’s not overwrought. He’s not even emotional. But he is strong, powerful. He stands before me like he’s about to pick me up and pack me off to his penthouse.
I wish he would.
“Julian.” I also stand up straight, spine rigid and face showing no trace of emotion. This is the only way I can deal with him now.
“Please, Lyssa.” He doesn’t bridge the gap between us. I’m glad he doesn’t. “I’ll give you anything you want. Any promises you want, I’ll make. There must be something I can do to make it up to you.”
“I’m not sure, Julian. I don’t think it would be a good idea, anyway.” I push past him. He lets me. “That was your second chance, by the way.”
His hand brushes against my arm. Shivers ripple through me, and I nearly explode.
I almost run into his arms and kiss him. That’s how powerful he is. That’s how good he smells. That’s how wonderful he once made me feel.
“I know,” he says, before walking away. “Third time will be the charm.”
I watch after him, my heart sinking faster and harder than I ever gave it credit for.
