Dante didn’t come to bed that night. I waited for a long time, unable to fall asleep, too confused by what had happened. He’d admitted he wanted me, had touched me, but then he’d pulled back. Why? When I woke the next morning, his side of the bed was untouched, and when I walked into the dining room thirty minutes later, his newspaper lay discarded beside a clean plate.
Worried, I approached his office. It was silent behind the door but that didn’t mean anything. I knocked, then entered without waiting for a reply. I didn’t want to give Dante the chance to put up his defenses. Maybe if I caught him by surprise again we’d get somewhere. Dante sat behind a black wood desk and narrowed his eyes when I entered his office for the first time. Maybe he felt like I’d encroached on his personal space again by entering.
My eyes settled on the silver picture frame on his desk. A picture of his smiling first wife. It sat in the middle of the desk as if he’d hastily put it down when I’d opened the door. There weren’t any other photos in the room.
My stomach lurched violently. Trying to hide my hurt, I met his disapproving gaze. “What are you doing here?”
“This is my home too, isn’t it?”
“Of course it is, but this is my office and I need to work.”
“You always do. I wanted to see if you were alright.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I be?
“Why? Because you acted very strange yesterday. One moment you’re touching me and the next you can’t get away fast enough from me.”
“You don’t know anything about me, Valentina.”
I interrupted him. “I know, and I want to change that, but you keep pushing me away.”
Dante stood and ran a hand through his hair. “I never wanted to get married again. For good reason.” Again he made it sound as if this marriage had been my idea, as if I had had any say in the matter.
“I didn’t ask you to marry me!” I had enough. I turned on my heel and stormed out of his office, making sure I slammed the door as hard as possible. It was a childish thing to do. I could hear it open again and Dante’s steps behind me. He caught up with me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me to a stop.
“You have an impossible temper,” he growled.
I glared at him. “That’s your fault.”
“This marriage has always been for logical reasons. I told you that.”
“But that doesn’t mean we can’t try to make it a real marriage. There are no logical reasons why we shouldn’t sleep with each other. You slept with prostitutes, so why can’t you sleep with me?”
“Because I was angry and I wanted to fuck someone. I wanted it rough and hard. I wasn’t looking for closeness or tenderness or whatever it is you want. I took whatever pleasure I wanted, and then I left. What you’re looking for, I can’t give you. The part that was capable of it died with my wife, and it won’t come back.”
“You don’t know what I want. Maybe we want the same thing.” My voice was a bare whisper.
He scoffed. “I can see in your eyes that it’s not true. You want to make love, but I can’t give you that. I do want to possess you, want to own every part of you, but not for the reasons you want me to. I’m a heartless bastard, Valentina. Don’t try to see anything else in me. The business suit and emotionless face is the thin layer covering up the fucking abyss that’s my soul and heart. Don’t try to glimpse beneath it, you won’t like what you find.”
I was too stunned for a comeback. Instead I watched him return to his office.
***
I spent the rest of the day considering my options. Dante didn’t want emotional attachment. He didn’t even want tenderness. Rough and hard, that were the words he used for the sex he’d sought from prostitutes. He was right. It wasn’t what I wanted, but over the years I’d learned that sometimes you had to settle for the lesser evil to reach some form of happiness. I wanted to have sex with Dante, maybe not the same way Dante did, but who said I wouldn’t like it? And he hadn’t exactly said that he’d be rough with me. He’d only said that I shouldn’t expect fluff and loving gestures from him. I could live with that, couldn’t I?
I wanted to be desired by him. Maybe that would be as good as being loved by him.
It was almost time for dinner but I was hungry for something else as I undressed quickly in our bedroom before I could change my mind and slipped a bathrobe on. I couldn’t walk naked through the house.
My stomach fluttering with nerves, I headed downstairs and toward Dante’s office. I knocked, and this time I waited for him to call me in as I didn’t want to start this seduction attempt with a fight, even if our argument in the bedroom yesterday had been a huge turn-on for me. He opened the door without a word. His cool eyes slid over my body. I wondered if he could tell that I was naked beneath the thin material of my bathrobe.
“Can I come in?”
He stepped back and I walked in. I could hear the door close and then Dante strode past me and turned to me with an inquiring expression. “What’s going on?”
“I made up my mind.”
“About what?”
I opened my bathrobe. “About us. About sex.”
Dante’s eyes darkened. Clenching his jaw, he shook his head and began to turn away. “You should leave.”
“Don’t turn your back on me. Look at me. I think I deserve at least that small decency, Dante.”
Tension radiated off of him when he turned around to me. He didn’t move closer but he was looking at me. For once, he didn’t pretend I was invisible. His blue eyes wandered over my exposed body.
My nipples hardened in the cool air of his office but I didn’t close my silk bathrobe, despite the overwhelming urge to cover myself against Dante’s cold scrutiny. His gaze lingered on the apex of my thighs slightly longer than on the rest of my body and a small burst of hope filled me. How much control did he have? “Am I your wife?”
His brows drew together. “Of course, you are.” There was the hint of something I couldn’t place in his voice.
“Then claim your rights, Dante. Make me yours.”
He didn’t move, but his eyes slid down to my erect nipples. His gaze was almost something physical, like a ghost touch on my naked skin, but it wasn’t nearly enough. I wanted to feel his fingers between my legs again, wanted to feel them on every inch of my body, wanted to come until I lost track of all my problems.
I wasn’t above begging. I knew I almost had him, could see in the tight set of his shoulders, in the unhinged look in his eyes. I wanted to have sex tonight. “I have needs too. Would you prefer if I found a lover who relieved you of the burden to touch me?” I wasn’t sure I could go through with it. No, I knew I couldn’t go through with it, but this act of provocation was my last option. If Dante didn’t react to that, then I didn’t know what else to do.
“No,” he said sharply, something angry and possessive breaking through his perfect mask. He pressed his lips together, jaw locked, and walked toward me. I shivered with need and excitement when he stopped in front of me. He didn’t reach for me but I thought I detected the hint of desire in his eyes. It wasn’t much, but enough to embolden me. I bridged the remaining distance between us and curled my fingers over his strong shoulders, pressing my naked body against his front. The rough material of his business suit rubbed deliciously against my sensitive nipples and I let out a small moan. The pressure between my legs was almost unbearable. Dante’s eyes flashed as he looked down at me. Slowly he wrapped an arm around me and rested his palm flat against my lower back. I wished he’d move it lower. I didn’t think I’d ever been so desperate for someone else’s touch, not even when I had to listen to Antonio fuck Frank in the room next door.
Sweet triumph flooded me. Dante wasn’t ignoring me now.
I tilted my head up to look into his face. Whatever desire I’d thought I’d seen was gone, his walls up and impenetrable. I stood on my tiptoes, desperate for a real kiss, but Dante’s hand on my back tightened and he didn’t angle his face down, making it impossible for me to brush my lips against his. He didn’t want me to kiss him. I couldn’t take this anymore. I’d thrown myself at him naked, had offered him my body and myself, and still he refused me. I wrenched away from him, feeling dirty and cheap. Avoiding his eyes, I whirled around, clutched my bathrobe closed and hurried out of his office. I crossed the lobby and ran up the stairs. This was it. I wouldn’t try again. I’d have to accept that Dante didn’t desire me enough, that he wouldn’t sleep with me for whatever silly reasons he’d listed until it was absolutely necessary to produce an heir.
I stumbled into the bedroom and flung myself on the bed. For a moment, a rush of despair and sadness gripped my body, but I didn’t let it win. I’d survived a marriage with Antonio. I could survive a loveless marriage with Dante. Some day I would have beautiful children I could love and who would love me back and until then I could deal. I wasn’t the first woman in our world who had to live with a cold bastard as a husband, and I definitely wouldn’t be the last. At least, I didn’t have an abusive asshole like Tommaso as a husband. That had to count for something.
And I would just have to take care of my other needs as I had done in the last few years. I rolled onto my back. I was still angry, still embarrassed and disappointment, but I was also still aroused. I closed my eyes and slipped my hand down my body and between my legs. I began stroking myself, imagining it were Dante’s fingers teasing me again, remembering the brief flicker of desire in his eyes that I’d probably imagined. My breathing came faster as I caressed my sensitive nub. I was getting closer. A moan slipped out of my lips, and there was a sharp intake of breath.
My eyes flew open and I stared at Dante; he stood in the doorway, hand on the door handle and eyes on me. For once they didn’t look cold. God, how long had he been watching me?
I jerked my hand out between my legs, mortification slamming through me like a wrecking ball. I clutched my bathrobe against my chest and scrambled for the edge of the bed. I couldn’t stay in a room with Dante, not after what he’d just seen. I’d embarrassed myself enough today, but Dante barred my way, suddenly in front of me. His tall form loomed over me. I threw my head back to meet his gaze. They were more animated than I’d ever seen them. He looked almost angry. “No,” he said quietly.
I wasn’t quite sure what he meant. Then he leaned over me until I lay flat on my back again and he towered above me. His jacket fell open and encased me to both sides like a soft prison. I searched his face. I could feel myself getting more aroused from his proximity and the look on his face. He braced himself on one arm and brought one knee between my legs, forcing them apart.
My heart pounded in my chest. Would he finally do what I’d been waiting for? For a long time he only glared down at me, and I almost expected him to pull away again but instead he cupped my breast and I arched my back up with a needy moan. His eyes slid down to his hand, and he pinched my nipple, harder than I’d anticipated. Pleasure cursed like lightning through my body all the way down to my center. I needed him to touch me there, needed it more than food, than water, than air. Dante pinched and tugged my nipple, his eyes dark and intent as he watched me. I’d caressed my breasts a few times over the years, but it had never done much for me, but Dante’s firm touch sent sweet tingles through my core. He leaned down, the rough fabric of his jacket brushing my side, and captured my nipple between his lips.
I arched up with a mewl, pressing my breasts against his face, but Dante’s hand gripped my hip and held me down. He sucked my nipple hard again, making arousal pool between my legs. I squirmed, tried to rub myself against his knee still wedged between my thighs, but his hand kept me in place. Not being able to move as I wanted to wasn’t something I’d ever considered something I’d find sexy, but boy had a I been wrong.
Dante bit down lightly on my nipple, his teeth lightly scraping my sensitive skin, and I almost came. I’d already been so close before. He released my nipple, which was red and hard from his attention. His eyes on my face, he trailed his hand down my side. I couldn’t look away from his beautiful cold face, mesmerized by the heat in his eyes. There was something dark and feral and angry in them. He hooked his fingers under my thigh and pulled my legs further apart. I trembled with anticipation. “Tell me now if you want this,” he said in a low voice. How could he even doubt my desire for him?
“I want this.”
“Good.” He drew my other nipple into his mouth with a dark smile and flicked his tongue over it as he slid two fingers over my mound and pressed down on my clit. Spears of pleasure shot from my core and through my entire body. It felt as if I was coming apart at the seams as my orgasm rocked through me. I rocked my hips desperately. Dante watched me calmly as I shivered beneath him, his fingers still pressed against my sensitive nub. Slowly I came down from my high. I was embarrassed that I’d come this fast, when he’d barely touched me, but I lifted my chin defiantly despite my embarrassment. If he hadn’t let me wait for so long, I wouldn’t be this easily aroused.
Dante released a long breath through his nose, his jaw flexing. Then he eased his fingers between my folds. His nostrils flared as he slowly pushed two fingers into me. My muscles tightened around him and I sucked in a quick breath at the foreign intrusion. It wasn’t painful, only slightly uncomfortable. I’d occasionally put one finger into me but never understood the appeal. This however was amazing. Dante lowered his gaze and watched his fingers as they moved in and out of me. It felt incredible, better than I had ever made myself feel. His steady motion made me pant.
“You are incredibly tight. I can’t wait to be inside you,” he said roughly. I wished he’d keep talking in that sexy growl, but all I managed to bring out of my lips were whimpers and sighs.
I was close to a second orgasm, could feel it building deep in my core, could feel the familiar spikes of pleasure echoing through my body. Dante quickened his thrusting and flicked his thumb over my nub, and I dug my heels into the mattress as my climax hit me, this one even stronger than my first. I was still enjoying the last waves of my orgasm when Dante pulled out his fingers. I made a sound of protest but Dante straightened with a look of utter want in his eyes. I was startled by the intensity, by the resignation and darkness mingling on his face. He looked like a man who’d lost a battle with himself. He stood tall and regal, motionless except for the rise and fall of his chest as his eyes took in my naked body. Then he reached up and removed his jacket. It slid to the ground with a soft rustling. He didn’t get rid of his vest and shirt though. He unbuckled his belt with practiced ease, the movement drawing my eyes to his ground and something I hadn’t thought I would ever evoke in a man. My eyes were frozen on the bulge in his pants. Surprise washed over me, followed by intense triumph. “You’re hard,” I whispered.
Dante’s gaze flickered to me and he paused with his hands on his fly. “I’m capable of getting an erection. I’m not impotent.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, but it was almost drowned out by the raspy desire in it.
“That’s not what I meant. But I thought you weren’t attracted by my body.”
Dante gave me a strange look. “Don’t worry. Your body would leave few members of the male species unaffected.”
Still so in control, so poised, and yet…I glanced at his crotch. Dante unzipped his fly and pushed down his pants. His black boxers did little to hide the impressive bulge. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I held back and watched instead as my nerves slowly started to rise. I’d waited so long for this. Finally, he pulled down his boxers. His cock was fully erect, thick and long, and a strange sense of satisfaction filled me. After years of being ignored first by Antonio and then by Dante I finally got a reaction from the latter at least.
“Scoot up,” Dante said in his Boss voice, a voice that brooked no argument, not that I would have dreamed of protesting. I crawled back immediately and slid my arms out of my bathrobe, then I lay completely naked in front of Dante. He made no move to remove his shirt and vest. He climbed on the bed and moved between my legs, pushing them apart, spreading me open for him. I wondered why he didn’t undress fully. Was it some sort of barrier he wanted to keep between us? Or was I overthinking? He looked more than a little sexy in his vest, but still…
Any thought fled my mind when Dante guided his erection toward my center and nudged my opening. He felt hard and big, but I’d been waiting long enough for this. I was ready. Dante propped himself up on his arms, then shifted his hips and slid in a few inches until I tensed and cried out. I squeezed my eyes shut, and drew in a few harsh breaths through my nose to calm my racing pulse. The pain was already fading but he wasn’t all the way in yet. After another deep breath, I opened my eyes and found Dante staring down at me. His jaw was tight. For once he didn’t seem quite so calm and in control. I could tell how much he was struggling to keep still. I raised my arms and grabbed his shoulders, then I gave a small nod. Dante rocked his hips and pushed all the way in. I arched up, clamping my mouth shut to keep any sound in. I breathed out through my nose, as I forced my body to relax.
Dante peered down at me, his brows drawn together and a muscle in his cheek twitching. “Tell me when I can move,” he gritted out, surprising me with that show of compassion.
I wiggled, impatient, desperate to have Dante move in me. There was still a slight discomfort but that too was getting better. “It’s okay.”
He nodded, then pulled almost all the way out before sliding back in. My muscles gripped his cock tightly, still trying to get used to the invasion, but I could feel a hint of pleasure behind the soreness as Dante fell into a slow rhythm. I wished he would come down on his forearms so we could be closer but he braced himself on his palms. I guessed I shouldn’t have expected anything else. He’d warned me, but at least he was careful and hadn’t pounced on me.
I let out a small moan as he hit a delicious spot deep inside me. Dante sped up, his thrusts becoming more forceful. His face was filled with concentration. He didn’t make loud noises, but his panting was coming quicker. I loved watching him, loves seeing the small twitches and flickers in his cold mask when his pleasure spiked.
“It’s been a while for me,” he warned in a rough voice. “I don’t know how long I can last.” I was surprised by his admittance. I didn’t think he was a man who readily admitted to anything resembling weakness in his mind. I was glad for that small flicker of humanness.
“It’s okay.” It wasn’t as if I was going to come again. I could tell that I was close to the limit of what I could take.
His movements became even faster and less restrained, almost jerky and unhinged. And then he finally lowered himself to his forearms, bringing us closer than we’d ever been, our bodies pressed against each other as if we were one, and he really started to pound into me, hard and fast, and my soreness turned into an insistent twinge, but I didn’t even care. I could feel his heat through his clothes. His vest rubbed my sensitive nipples, and yet I wished I could have felt his skin, but even that wasn’t important right now. All that mattered was that Dante was finally making me a woman, finally allowing closeness. Maybe this was a new beginning, the real start of our marriage. I clung to his back and buried my face in the crook of his neck as Dante thrust into me a few more times.
He groaned, his body tensing and then I felt his erection expand in me, followed by the strange sensation of him coming in me. I pulled back, wanting to see his face. For once the mask was gone. He looked disheveled, approachable, less unforgiving somehow. He shuddered once more before he lowered his face and brushed his lips against mine, his tongue sliding over my lips lightly. I eagerly opened my mouth for him. Our tongues met and I was in heaven. I’d waited for our first real kiss for so long and now it was happening. He tasted perfect, and I loved the feeling of his weight on top of me, and the sensation of his softening cock inside me. Maybe everything would change now. I slipped my hands under his shirt and ran them up and down his back, my fingers finding every scar, mapping his body. He felt so warm and strong. He felt like he was mine.
Dante stopped kissing me, and our eyes met, and suddenly his walls went back up. I could see it happening. Like the curtains closing at the end of a play. He raised himself up to his palms. “Are you okay?” he asked, already pulling out of me in a swift motion. I gasped at the brief pain and Dante hovered over me for a moment, a hint of hesitation in his expression, but it was gone quickly and he straightened, holding up his shirt so it didn’t get dirty. “I need to get cleaned up,” he said matter-of-factly as if he was telling me the weather forecast, as if we hadn’t just slept together. He watched me an instant longer, then he disappeared in the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, the water started running.
I didn’t move from my spot in the middle of the bed, desperately trying to sort out my emotions. There was relief over finally having gotten rid of my virginity, but there was also a strange sense of sadness. I wasn’t someone who needed to be coddled but I wished Dante would have stayed with me a bit longer after he was done.
Disappointment washed over me and I closed my eyes against the rising emotion. I wasn’t sure how long I lay like that but I was startled by Dante’s cool voice above me. “Here.”
My eyes fluttered open. He stood beside the bed, already dressed in his briefs again and was holding a washcloth out for me.
I took it from him and pressed it against my sore flesh, ignoring the blush that crept up into my face. Wouldn’t he lie down with me for a little while at least? I really wanted him to hold me, even if he had to pretend to care for me, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him.
“Would you like me to touch you, so you can come too?”
I stared at him. He sounded so matter-of-fact. I shook my head. I wanted his closeness, but not like this, not now. He nodded and grabbed the pants from the ground, then put them on. “I have some more work to do and I need to visit another of our casinos. I’ll be home late. You don’t need to wait up for me.”
I nodded, couldn’t have said a word if I’d tried.
After another lingering glance at my naked body, Dante walked out of the room. I listened to his retreating steps. When I couldn’t hear him anymore, I sat up, and winced at the twinge between my legs. I stared down at the washcloth in my hand, which had a few pink spots on it, and a silly sense of accomplishment filled me. It banished the disappointment over Dante’s coldness. For now I wanted to be happy. I’d finally gotten what I wanted. Now that Dante had given in once, I was sure he would have a much harder time holding himself back. And I was determined to make it as hard as possible for him. I’d gotten my first real taste of pleasure; from now on I wanted to experience it over and over again.
