Liliana
I chose the dress I’d worn to last year’s Christmas party. It was more modest than my other dresses with a high cut collar and a hem that reached my knees. It was more fitted than I would have liked for the evening though. Like Father had said, I let my hair fall down to my shoulders, even though the idea of being attractive for Benito terrified me to no end. I decided to wear ballet flats since Father had said nothing about high heels.
“Liliana, what’s taking you so long? Our guests will arrive any moment. Get down here!”
I took a deep breath and walked out of my room. Everything would be alright. If I got through today, Romero would figure out a way to get me out of this marriage. Everything would be alright. I repeated the words over and over again as I walked down the stairs, but my throat tightened anyway. Fabi was dressed in a proper dark blue suit and a tie, but his expression was that of a sulking teenager.
Father, too, wore a business suit but he almost always did. He scanned my outfit critically. “You should have chosen a different dress, but it’ll have to do now. We don’t have time for you to change again.”
I paused on the stairs. Anger surged through me again, fiercer than before. The doorbell rang, preventing me from saying something that would have probably earned me a slap across the face. Father gave Fabi and me a warning look before he went to the door and opened it.
My fingers on the handrail tightened painfully.
“Benito, good to see you. Come in, come in. Dinner is ready for us. I’ve let our cook prepare a wonderful roast,” Father said in an overly friendly manner that he only ever used with people of importance, definitely not with his family.
I had to stop myself from running up the stairs and hiding in my room. I wasn’t a child anymore. I’d handle this situation with grace, and then I’d do my best to stop this marriage. There had to be a way.
But what if there wasn’t?
I walked down the last few steps and stopped beside Fabi.
Father opened the door wider to let Brasci and his daughter in. I held my breath. And when my intended husband entered the entrance hall, revulsion overcame me.
He was tall and thin, with greying brown hair that was combed back the same way as Father’s, but where Father’s was full, Benito’s had thinned and his scalp peeked through. His skin was tanned from too many hours on the tanning bed, and looked almost like leather. He looked old. His dark eyes settled on me and a grin twisted his lips.
Benito’s gaze felt like slugs crawling over my skin, the way they traveled over every inch of my body, already marking me as his. I wanted to wipe it off like slime. My eyes slid over to the girl beside him, barely older than me and with a look of desperate resignation on her face. She wasn’t better off than me. She’d marry my father. Our eyes met. Was there accusation in hers? Maybe she thought I was the reason for the deal between my father and her own. I couldn’t even blame her. Everything about this felt so unfair.
Father motioned for me to come over to them. Even though every fiber of my being was against it, I crept toward them. Fabi was a couple of steps behind me. When I reached Father’s side, he put a hand on my lower back and said with a proud smile, “This is my daughter Liliana.”
Benito inclined his head but his eyes never ceased their staring. He wasn’t doing anything obviously inappropriate but for some reason his gaze felt like it was invading my personal space. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said, then he stepped up to me and kissed my cheeks. I froze but didn’t push him away. Father would probably have killed me if I’d done that.
“And Fabiano,” Benito said, facing my brother, who looked like he tasted something bitter.
Benito waved his daughter forward. “This is Maria.”
Father greeted her with a kiss on the cheek too, and I almost threw up. Maria glanced my way again. She looked so…resigned. But when she faced my father again, she gave him a smile. It looked fake to me but Father seemed satisfied with her reaction. I could practically see his chest swelling with pride.
Father nodded toward the dining room. “Let’s have dinner. It’ll give us the chance to talk.”
Father held out his hand for Maria to take and she did so without hesitation. I knew what was coming. But instead of taking my hand, Benito put his palm on my lower back. I almost flinched away from him but I forced myself to remain still. I couldn’t muster up a smile though.
We walked into the dining room and when I finally sank down on my chair I almost cried from relief of being rid of Benito’s touch. He sat beside me though. Father and Benito were soon immersed in conversation, which left Maria and me to sit in awkward silence. I could hardly ask her anything of importance with our fathers sitting right beside us. I escaped into my mind, but every so often my eyes drifted to the man beside me who smelled of cigar smoke.
All I could think about was that I wanted to be back in New York with Romero.
“Why don’t you girls go sit on the sofa, so we can discuss business?” Father asked, tearing me out of my thoughts.
I rose from my chair and led Maria toward the living area. We sat down beside each other and another awkward silence began. I cleared my throat. “It’s strange, isn’t it, that we’re sitting here with our fathers who are planning our marriages?”
Maria watched me cautiously. “They want what’s best for us.”
I almost snorted. She sounded like a parrot. Had her father put those words into her mouth? “Do you really believe that? You’re going to marry a man who could be your father. How is that the best for you?”
Again her gaze darted toward our fathers. She was very well behaved, that much was sure. What worried me was how she’d gotten that careful. Was her father that strict? Violent maybe?
“I’m going to be the wife of the Consigliere. That’s a good thing.”
I gave up. She obviously wouldn’t talk honestly with me, or she’d been brainwashed so well that she actually meant what she said. “Yes, that’s certainly a great achievement.” I didn’t mean to snap at her but my nerves were too frayed to be considerate. But she didn’t catch my sarcasm. She was too busy chancing looks toward our fathers.
Father stood from his chair. “Why don’t you take a moment to talk to Benito, Liliana? And I’ll talk to Maria.”
That was the last thing I wanted. Benito strode toward me and panic started to set in. Where would we go? I didn’t want to be alone with him. Romero’s words flashed through my mind. I was a reputable Italian girl, at least as far as they knew. Father and Maria sat at the dining table together and Benito took a seat beside me on the sofa. At least I wouldn’t be alone with him.
He even left a space between us but he was still too close for my taste. I could smell the cigars on his clothes and breath, and his knee was only about three inches from my knee. I could feel my vision tunneling. God, I wasn’t getting a panic attack because he was sitting beside me, right? What would happen when he really married me? Then he’d do more than only sit beside me. I stared straight ahead, not sure what to do or say. I could feel him watching me.
“You are a very attractive girl,” he said. He took my hand and lifted it to his lips. I couldn’t even react, I was too shocked. When his lips brushed my skin, I wanted to sink into myself. I’d had many men kiss my hand at parties but for some reason, this was worse.
“Thank you,” I choked out.
“Has your father told you the date of our wedding yet?”
There was a date? I’d found out about this only yesterday. How could there be a date already? I shook my head mutely.
“Four weeks from now. October 20th. Your father didn’t want to wait and I agree. He’ll marry Maria the week before our wedding.”
I stared at him, then toward my father who was leering at Maria like she was a piece of candy he wanted to devour. I was going to be sick. Any moment now, my dinner would come up again.
“Liliana, are you listening?” There was a hint of impatience in Benito’s tone and something less kind shone in his eyes.
I shivered. “I’m sorry. I was only surprised.” Surprised? Surprised? God, surprise didn’t even begin to describe my feelings. If there was already a date, how could Romero possibly convince my father to choose him as my husband instead? He couldn’t. I wasn’t naïve. Father would never agree to it. He wanted Maria and for him to get her, he needed to sell me off to Benito in turn.
Benito smiled but somehow that made him look even scarier. Maybe it was my imagination. “It’s short-notice of course, but people won’t want to miss our weddings so I’m confident that we’ll pull off a grand feast.”
I nodded. I clasped my wrist, feeling my pulse and surprised to find it at all. I felt so numb, I might as well have been dead.
Benito talked about guests we needed to invite and food we needed to serve but I couldn’t focus. I needed to talk to Romero. Benito touched my knee and I jerked out of my thoughts.
“You’re jumpy,” he said accusingly. He didn’t take his hand off my knee.
“I’m glad you’re getting along so well,” said Father as he came up to us from behind, Maria trailing a few steps after him like a good dog. I’d never been so glad to see my father. Benito removed his hand from my knee and I quickly got up. I needed to get away before I lost it.
Thankfully, Benito and his daughter left shortly after that.
Father looked incredibly satisfied when he closed the door after them. When he turned to me, his smile dropped. “Don’t give me that look. Benito is an important man. He’s one of our most influential Captains with a big number of loyal soldiers. To have him on our side is important.”
“Can I fly back to New York so I can go wedding dress shopping with Aria?” I didn’t mention Gianna, even though I felt bad about it, but I couldn’t risk Father getting angry again. And I definitely didn’t want to remind him of Gianna’s flight.
Father laughed. “You can go shopping here. I won’t let you leave Chicago again. There’s too much to do, and I don’t trust you not to do something stupid if I let you out of my sight. I know you and Gianna aren’t too different. I won’t let you ruin this. You will marry Benito.”
Once I was back in my room, I dialed Romero’s number with shaky fingers. He picked up after the first ring. “Are you okay?” he asked immediately.
“The wedding is in four weeks.”
“Fuck,” Romero growled. I could hear him hitting something and then the sound of something shattering. Romero had always seemed so in control. “Your father has lost his fucking mind. I won’t allow it. I don’t give a damn if he’s Consigliere.”
“Please calm down.” Part of me relished in his fury because it showed how much he cared for me but the other part was terrified of the consequences he might face if he acted on his emotions.
“How can you be this calm, Lily? Do you realize what that means?”
“Of course,” I whispered. “What about Aria and Luca? Can they do something?”
“I don’t know. Aria’s talking with your father right now.”
“Good,” I said half-heartedly, but I knew it was no use. Father had looked determined.
“Will you be allowed to return to New York?”
“No, Father doesn’t want me to leave Chicago. He wants to keep an eye on me until the wedding.”
“Damn it. I’m going to talk to Luca. We’ll find a way.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“I won’t lose you Lily. I won’t allow anyone to hurt you. I swear.”
“I know.”
“I’ll call you once I’ve talked to Luca.”
“Okay.” I sounded like a broken record. I hung up and sat cross-legged on my bed. I wasn’t sure how much time passed until Romero called again. I picked up at once. I was oddly calm.
“And?” I said.
Romero released a harsh breath, and I knew everything was over. A bone-deep sadness overcame me. “Your father will go through with this wedding. Aria tried to talk him out of it but he got really mad and accused her of trying to weaken the Outfit. He warned her not to get involved or he’d see that as an attack on the Outfit and advise Dante to cease relationships with us.”
“So there’s nothing to stop this wedding.”
“I can fly over to Chicago tomorrow and get you. I doubt your father’s men could stop me.”
“And then?”
“Then we’d figure something out.”
“Could we return to New York? Would Luca protect us?”
Romero was silent for a long time. “Luca won’t risk war over this. We’d be on our own.”
“Would that mean Luca would hunt us too?”
Romero sighed. “Lily, we could make it. I could keep us both safe.”
I didn’t doubt it, but what kind of life would that be? I’d never see Aria and Gianna again, never see Fabi again, never be able to return to New York or Chicago, and we’d always have to live in fear.
“Can I talk to Aria?”
“Of course. What’s the matter, Lily? I thought you wanted us to run away together.”
“I did. I do. But you love the Famiglia, and you and Luca are like brothers. You’d lose all that if you ran away.”
“You are worth it.”
I wasn’t sure that was true. “Can I talk to Aria now?”
“Sure. We’ll talk later again, okay?”
“Okay,” I said.
Aria’s voice sounded on the other end. “Oh Lily, this is such a mess. How are you?”
“I feel like I’m falling and there’s nothing to stop my fall,” I admitted.
“We won’t let you fall, Lily. I’ll convince Luca to change his mind. You are my sister. I won’t let you be miserable for the rest of your life. If Luca loves me, he’ll help you.”
“He says he doesn’t want to risk war. Does he think Dante will really start a war if I don’t marry Benito?”
“If you run off to be with Romero, then Father will take that as an attack from the Famiglia and will convince Dante to retaliate. There will be war. Both Luca and Dante have to show strength. Their men expect it from them. Despite years of cooperation, New York and Chicago still don’t like each other.”
“If Romero decides to act on his own and take me away from Chicago, what would Luca do?”
“I don’t know. He’s really determined to avoid war with Chicago. To do that he would have to call Romero a traitor who acted without the permission of his Capo and in order to keep the Outfit happy, he’d have to hunt Romero and…” She trailed off.
“And kill him,” I finished for her. “Could he do it? Could he really kill Romero?”
“I don’t think he would do it,” Aria said. “But he might hand him over to the Outfit.”
“That would also mean Romero’s death.”
“I’ll talk to Luca. If he loves me, he won’t do it. Gianna will talk to Matteo as well. We will help you Lily, no matter what it takes. I don’t care if it means war.”
“Fabi will soon be part of the Outfit. He might have to fight against Romero, Luca and Matteo. Many will die, and the Russians might use their chance and kill even more of us.”
“I don’t care if the Russians take over parts of the city. This is all about money. I want us all to be happy.”
“But could we be happy? What if Dante and the Outfit try to assassinate Luca? It’s happened before when New York and Chicago were at war.”
Aria was silent. She loved Luca. “It won’t come to that.”
“You don’t know that.” We were silent.
“Do you want me to give Romero the phone again?” Aria asked after a while.
“Yes.” I could hear her move and then Romero was back on the other end.
“So have you and Aria talked everything through?”
“We did. Aria is going to talk to Luca again.”
“He won’t change his mind. And he’s right to remain firm. He needs to think of the Famiglia,” he said.
“I don’t care about the Famiglia, but I care about you.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll gladly die if it means saving you from Benito Brasci.”
That was exactly what I feared. “Don’t say that. My life isn’t worth more than yours. Marrying him isn’t a death sentence.”
“Do you want to marry him now?” Romero asked tersely. He was so on edge. I wished I could touch him and calm him down.
“Of course not, but I don’t want you to risk your life.”
“There’s no other way, Lily. But don’t worry. I’ve done it before.”
I knew he had, but this was different. We talked a couple more minutes before I promised to call him the next day for detailed plans about my escape.
When I’d hung up, I stared at the white wall across from my bed for a very long time as if it could give me the answers I needed.
The people I loved the most would risk everything to keep me safe, to save me from a loveless marriage, but at what cost?
Romero’d sounded as if he didn’t care at all that he might lose everything. I knew he loved the Famiglia, was proud to be a part of it. He loved this life, but he’d have to leave it behind if he helped me escape this marriage. Luca wouldn’t risk war. His people would mutiny. He’d have no choice but to give up Romero and hand him over to the Outfit. Aria might destroy her marriage if she tried to blackmail Luca into helping me. He’d forgiven her once for betraying him, but would he do it again?
Could I risk everyone’s happiness for my own?
Someone hammered against my door and then Father stepped in without warning. I stood immediately. His expression was thunderous. “What did you tell your sister? Why are she and Luca trying to get involved in our family? Did you really think they could make me change my mind about your wedding?”
“They want to help because they’re worried about me.”
“I don’t care!” he roared. “You are going to marry Benito, end of story.”
“I can’t,” I said desperately.
“You can and you will.”
“I’m not a virgin anymore. If you don’t want people to find out you can’t let me marry Benito!” I blurted.
Father stormed toward me, gripped my arms and pushed me against the wall. The back of my head rang from the impact.
“What did you say?” he snarled.
I gaped up into his menacing face.
He shook me hard until my vision turned blurry. Suddenly Fabi raced into the room. He tore at Father’s arm, trying to free me, but Father lashed out. Fabi landed on the floor, his face flashing with pain.
“Go back to your room, boy. Now, or I swear I’ll make you regret it.”
My arms hurt from Father’s grip, but I gave Fabi a small nod. I wanted him to leave. He didn’t need to get into trouble because of me. Fabi struggled to his feet and after a moment of hesitation, he limped out of my room. When he was out of view, Father turned back around to me.
I quivered.
“Tell me the truth.”
I couldn’t talk. I regretted ever having mentioned anything. Father really looked as if he wanted to kill me.
He slapped me hard across the face but didn’t release me. “Who was it? Who turned you into a little whore? Someone from the Famiglia, wasn’t it?”
Tears burned in my eyes but I didn’t cry. I couldn’t tell Father the truth. “No,” I said quickly. “I met him in a club, it’s no one you know.”
“I don’t believe a fucking word you say, you disgusting slut. And it doesn’t matter. You will marry Benito and you’ll scream like a little scared virgin in your wedding night so he doesn’t doubt your innocence. I swear, if you ruin this for me, I’ll break every bone in your body.” He let me go and stepped back, eyes hateful. “And if you try to get out of this wedding, and maybe even ask your sisters for help, believe me, war between the Outfit and the Famiglia is only the beginning. I’ll personally hunt you and your sisters down, and then I’ll figure out who fucked you and skin that asshole alive. Do you understand?”
I gave a jerky nod. Father looked like he wanted to spit on me. Instead he turned on his heel and walked out.
I slumped to the ground. Everything was really over now. I couldn’t allow Father to hurt everyone I loved only because I wanted to get out of my wedding with Benito. The image of Father’s hateful eyes seemed burned into my brain.
If I married Benito, the Outfit and Famiglia would keep working together. Fabi would be safer, everyone would be safer. I’d be able to see my sisters and Fabi at least occasionally and Romero could keep working for Luca. He’d get over me and find someone else.
And I? Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. I didn’t even know Benito. Maybe he wasn’t a horrible guy. And it wasn’t like I hadn’t gotten a taste of happiness. Being with Romero had been amazing. It was something I’d never regret and would always cherish. It was time to do the right thing. Maria was accepting her fate. So many girls had before me. I should too, if only to keep my loved ones safe.
Once I’d made up my mind, I felt relief, then deep sadness. I lied down but sleep wouldn’t come. I remembered the longing in Mother’s eyes before her death and couldn’t help but wonder if the same look would be in my eyes one day.
***
Romero
I’d have never thought I’d ever consider going against the Famiglia, but I could not watch Lily getting married to that man. She was mine and I didn’t care what I’d have to do to keep it that way. Luca had been eying me almost all day yesterday. He’d never looked at me with true suspicion in his eyes before. I had to admit it hurt to know he didn’t trust me anymore, and worse that he had every right to be wary of me. I’d go against his direct orders, break my oath, and betray the people who’d been as close, maybe even closer than my own family. When I came to Luca’s and Aria’s penthouse that morning, I saw In Luca’s gaze that he knew he’d lost me. Another Capo might have eliminated me right then to prevent worse. Aria gave me an encouraging smile but I didn’t miss that Luca left without kissing her. That never happened and was a fucking bad sign.
As soon as I could I called Lily. The phone rang almost two dozen times before I gave up. Aria shot me a worried look. “Maybe she’s still having breakfast with Fabi and Father.”
I waited a couple of minutes before I tried again. If she didn’t answer this time, I’d book a fucking flight to Chicago today and get her. To my relief, Lily picked up after the third ring.
“Where were you? I tried to call you before. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” The detachment in her tone made me pause. It felt like there was a barrier between us that had nothing to do with our physical separation.
“I’ve been thinking about the best way to go about it and I think I should fly over to you as soon as possible. Luca is getting more and more suspicious, so we need to act quickly.”
“I don’t think we should do it.”
“Do what?” I asked carefully.
“Run away.”
“I know you don’t want to leave your sisters, but maybe Luca will take us in later. Aria might change his mind.”
“No,” she said firmly. “I mean I don’t want you to come here and take me away. I’m going to stay.”
I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. “What are you saying? That you want to marry Benito? I don’t believe that for one second. He could be your father.”
“But he’s an important man. He has many soldiers who follow him.”
“Since when do you care about something like that?”
“I’ve always cared about it. I enjoyed our time together Romero but we have to be reasonable. It could never work out between us. You are a soldier and I have a duty to fulfill as the daughter of a Consigliere. We all have to do things we don’t want to do.”
“What the fuck did your father do? This doesn’t sound like you, Lily.”
“Romero, please. Don’t make this harder than it is. You have your responsibilities to Luca. I don’t want you to break your oath.”
“I don’t care about my oath.”
“But you should!” she said angrily. “I don’t want you to come here. It’s over between us Romero. I’m going to do the right thing and marry Benito. And you should do the right thing and follow Luca’s orders.”
Suddenly I was angry. “So what was this between us? An adventure for the summer? Curiosity how it would be to fuck a common soldier?”
Lily sucked in a deep breath and I regretted my harsh words, but I was too proud to take them back or apologize. “We can’t talk again,” she said quietly. Was she crying? “We should forget what happened.”
“Don’t worry, I will,” I said, then I hung up. I flung my phone away. “Fuck!”
Aria rushed toward me, alarmed. “What’s wrong? Is it Lily?”
“She wants to go through with marrying Brasci.”
Aria froze. “She said that?”
I nodded. I headed for the kitchen. I needed a cup of coffee. Aria hurried after me. “What else did she say?”
“Not much. Only that Benito is a good catch and that we should both do our duty. Fuck that.”
“She doesn’t mean it, Romero. She loves you. She probably only wants to protect us.”
I wasn’t sure anymore. And even if Aria was right, maybe Lily had a point. I’d devoted my life to the Famiglia. I shouldn’t abandon my oath only because of a woman. I was a Made Man and my priority should always be my job.
