Growl had been very quiet since we’d returned from the party yesterday. I couldn’t tell if it meant that he was still thinking about helping me.
Growl flicked his thumb over my clit, tearing me from my thoughts. He pushed a finger into me. “I want your full attention,” he rumbled, pushing into me again.
I nodded quickly, and pushed any worry away. This was my reprieve.
Suddenly Growl pulled his hand away. Confusion rushed through me. ”What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Touch yourself,” he ordered, sitting back on his haunches.
I flushed with embarrassment. The last time I’d done that had ended in mortification. “It’s not right,” I said.
Growl barked out a laugh. “I don’t give a fuck about right as long as it feels good. We’ve done so many things that are not right. Don’t tell me this is worse.”
I stared at him, arms at my side. “I can’t do that with you watching.”
“But you’ve touched yourself before?”
I hesitated. “Yes,” I admitted reluctantly. Again shame washed over me like so many months ago. I wasn’t sure why it still bothered me so much. After all, Growl was right. I’d done a lot of worse things with him.
“And it had felt good, right?”
I shrugged half-heartedly. “It was okay.”
Growl raised an eyebrow. He gripped my wrist and pushed my hand between my legs. I jumped at the feeling of my fingers brushing my center. I tried to jerk away, but Growl was holding me tight. “Stop trying to do what’s right and do what feels good for you. You’re fucking overthinking everything again.”
I glared at him. “Don’t tell me what I like and whatnot. Maybe I don’t enjoy touching myself.”
Growl just looked at me. He covered my forefinger with his and guided mine between my folds. My fingertip brushed my clit, then glided through my wetness. I shuddered at the sensation. Growl kept sliding our fingers back and forth in a slow rhythm. His eyes bored into mine and it took everything I had not to close my eyes to hide from his gaze. He guided my finger lower until I nudged my opening. My eyes grew wide. I’d never done that. I knew how much I liked it when Growl did it though. I hesitated, but Growl didn’t let my insecurity get the better of me. He pushed my finger into me with his finger. I gasped in surprise and lust as both our fingers filled me. The feeling was incredible, and the hunger in Growl’s amber eyes only added to my own desire. This felt so wrong but so unbelievably good. Growl established a slow rhythm, sliding our fingers in and out of me. It was incredible how wet and soft I felt.
“How does it feel?” Growl rasped.
I shook my head, unwilling to give him a reply. I couldn’t admit aloud that this felt good. It was bad enough that I was enjoying it so much. Growl halted our fingers, his gaze becoming challenging. “How. Does. It. Feel?”
I bucked my hips, trying to keep on the sensation, but Growl stopped me with his arm.
“Good,” I said angrily. “It feels good.”
A smirk crossed Growl’s face, then it was gone, but he finally started moving again. He pushed our fingers harder into me, and I was getting closer to my orgasm but something was still missing.
“Touch your clit,” Growl said.
This time I didn’t hesitate. My other hand came down and I pressed two fingers down on my clit. I moaned, but quickly clamped my lips together, embarrassed by the sound when Growl was watching me so closely. As if he could tell that I had trouble letting myself fall over the edge while he was watching, his gaze travelled down my body and he watched how our hands and fingers moved in sync to drive me closer to release. And then when it finally crashed down on me, everything fell out of focus and I let everything out even when Growl turned his eyes back to me. I couldn’t hold back, didn’t want to. I hadn’t even caught my breath when Growl pushed to his feet and started undressing. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to the sight of him naked. His tattoo, his scars, his muscles, all about him screamed danger, screamed stay away, and yet every cell in my body seemed to crave his closeness. His cock was already standing to attention and it intensified the prickling between my legs again. I knew what was coming now and I couldn’t wait. For a moment he stood in the middle of the room, admiring me. But, I, too couldn’t get enough of letting my eyes roam over his body. Would this ever stop?
When my eyes returned to his face, his expression almost made me moan. He staggered toward me and climbed on the bed. I waited for him to climb on top of me and fuck me. But he surprised me by lying flat on his back. Confusion drew my brows together but before I could ask what he was doing, he gripped my hips and lifted me on top of him, so I was straddling his hips. His tip pressed against my opening and a thrill shot through my body at the sensation. Growl’s hands on my waist tightened after a moment. Uncertainty flooded me. I wasn’t exactly sure how to do this, but I didn’t want to admit it aloud. Gathering my courage, I steadied myself against Growl’s rock-hard chest. Focusing on his muscles and not the intensity of his eyes, I slowly lowered myself on his cock. A long moan escaped my lips at the feel of his length sliding into me deeper than ever before. I exhaled slowly when he was all the way in and I sat comfortably on top of him. I’d never felt this full before. It was incredible.
Growl moved his hips upwards a few inches and my eyes flew up to his. There was strain in his face. I smiled and his eyes flashed. Digging my nails into his chest the way he liked it, I lifted myself slowly, letting his cock glide out of me. I focused on tensing my inner muscles to make it even more intense for Growl, wanting to drive him to the brink of insanity. He gave my butt a light clap, making my eyes go wide and a surprised gasp, followed by a laugh slipped out of my mouth.
There was something close to playfulness in his expression. I started moving faster. My butt cheeks accidentally brushed his balls and he exhaled sharply. I faltered, unsure if that was a good sign but one look at his face erased all of my worries. He liked it. A lot.
I twisted my hips, making sure to press my butt against his balls every time I lowered myself. Growl’s breath grew faster and the low growls I adored came from deep in his throat again. My own body tightened in anticipation of an orgasm, and when I leaned forward slightly, my clit brushed his pubic bone and I came apart. My fingers dug even deeper into his skin and I moved faster, pushing my own orgasm into new heights. And then Growl’s body shuddered beneath me and I felt him release into me, teasing my tender inner walls even more. I cried out, throwing my head back. “Oh God,” I said.
When my heartbeat slowed, I opened my eyes and peered down at the man beneath me. He was watching me with surprise.
“What?” I said self-consciously.
Growl ran his finger over my breast, then slowly down my stomach until it came to rest over my clit. I shuddered, still too sensitive for his touch.
“This was the first time you were loud.”
My already hot face heated even more. “Loud?” I glanced toward the curtain-covered window, worried about the neighbors. Had they heard anything?
“Don’t worry about them. They don’t care if that bastard from across the street beats his wife to a bloody pulp. They won’t give a shit about you screaming your head off because you’re getting off.”
I stared at him. His dirty language still got me sometimes. But he was right. I’d lost count of the times I’d heard the woman from across the street scream, and nothing had ever happened.
Growl
Watching her touch herself was the hottest thing Growl had ever seen. God, he’d told other women to do the same thing for him but it had always looked false and wrong. But with Cara, she’d really let loose. She trusted him in bed. It was more than he deserved for sure.
He’d wanted many things in life. He’d wanted to possess, to destroy, to subdue. He’d never wanted to be kind to someone, or be with someone beyond the simple act of fucking. He’d fucked many women; none of them had meant anything to him. He didn’t despise women. He didn’t like them less than men. He just didn’t like humans in general. They were back-stabbing, disloyal creatures. That’s why he preferred the company of his dogs. They wouldn’t wait for him to sleep to kill him. If one of his Pitts wanted to kill him, he’d take his face off in the middle of the day. Growl liked it better that way.
Cara was sprawled on the bed beside him, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her peaked nipples even pinker than usual against her white skin. A few trickles of sweat trailed down her stomach and he had to stop himself from licking them off her skin. He needed to talk to her, not distract himself with another round of sex. Though the sight of her naked, finally without shame, made it hard to contain himself.
Cara turned her head, raising her eyebrows. “There’s a funny look on your face. Did I do something wrong?” Two pink spots appeared on her cheekbones and he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He didn’t know why. He’d never done it. Never even thought about doing it. The forehead wasn’t a very interesting place for a kiss. Cara was turning him upside down, that was for sure. “You did nothing wrong.”
Surprise filled her pretty face. Even she didn’t understand why he’d done it, and she was usually good at emotions and human actions.
She put a hand on his chest. A small gesture that didn’t make sense either. Perhaps not everything had to make sense. “Are you alright?”
“I will help you,” he said firmly.
She blinked. “Help me?” Her hand against his skin began to tremble. “You mean with Falcone?”
Growl nodded. There was no turning back now. He’d made his decision and nothing would stop him. He’d die if necessary. She would be worth it. “I will help you get revenge.”
Cara
I couldn’t believe it. I’d hoped for it of course, dreamed about it. But it had seemed unlikely, impossible. Growl was Falcone’s man, his most feared assassin. How could I have changed that?
“So let me get this straight,” I said slowly, wanting to make sure that I wasn’t getting things wrong. “You want to help me get revenge, even though you never tried to get revenge for what Falcone did to you and your mother? Why? I don’t get it. You don’t even liked my father.”
Shut up, Cara. My mind was screaming at me, but I needed to know. I was starting to accept that for some reason part of me felt something for the man in front of me. And I needed to know if he did too.
“It’s not because of your father. I don’t care that he’s dead.” The words barely stung anymore. I’d gotten used Growl’s harsh words. He was honest, that was something I appreciated.
I propped myself up on my elbow and searched his face for answers. “Then why?” My voice was a bare whisper.
Growl’s amber eyes traced my face. “Falcone’s gone too far. You didn’t deserve what he did to you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked carefully, not sure where he was getting at.
“You were innocent. He punished you for something your father did. That’s not right.”
“And he punished you when you were a little boy for something your mother might have done, punished you for doing absolutely nothing. That should have been enough to make you want to kill him.”
“I always wanted to kill him.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“When I was a small boy, I would have killed him but back then I didn’t have the skills. And later when I had them, I felt obligated to him, for giving me the skills, for showing me what I could do. Without him, I wouldn’t be what I am today.”
“A monster? A killer? You could have become so much more, if he hadn’t killed your mother and destroyed your childhood. He broke you.” I winced the moment the last words left her mouth.
“I was the son of a whore who worked for Falcone. I would have become one of his men anyway, but without his cruelty, without what he’d done to me, I’d have never become ruthless enough to become his best hitman.”
“So you’re helping me because Falcone treated me wrong? He’s treated many people worse than me.”
Growl nodded. He ran a finger down my arm, then back up again. “He did. I did. But I want to help you be happy. I want you to get out of this miserable town and life. I never wanted that for me, but you, for you I want everything.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. I couldn’t say more. This was overwhelming.
I cleared my throat. Emotions had never been part of the plan, or even a possibility in the beginning. I needed to focus now.
“What are we going to do with my sister? We don’t even know where she is.”
Growl pulled his hand away from my arm. I felt bad, but I knew I had no reason to. I had never chosen this.
“I will find out,” Growl promised. He rested his hand on his stomach.
“I thought Falcone wasn’t sharing that piece of information with you.”
“So far he hasn’t. But now that things are going worse with New York, I think he might soon have reason to tell me about the whereabouts of your sister.”
I sucked in a breath. “Because he thinks you will hurt her.”
“But I won’t.”
“I know,” I said without hesitation and I did. How could things have come this far? I was falling for him, and I wasn’t sure how to stop myself from feeling that way. But I had to. There was no future for Growl and me. There would not be.
He had been a monster all his life. Even if I told him he could redeem himself by helping me, I’d never really believed it, had I? How could I be with someone like that? How could I explain that to my mother and sister? I couldn’t.
