Pen
The rest of our time at the Freed’s house passes in a blur of laughter, heated kisses, and a deepening friendship. Making love to each of my Breakers was on my mind constantly, and I don’t doubt it plagued their thoughts too, but despite feeling horny as fuck we seemed to come to an unspoken agreement that the rest of our time together in the Freed’s home would be better spent on reforming our relationship and just being friends again. It’s been the best kind of tonic and exactly what we’ve all needed to cement our bond. Yet despite this brief moment of bliss, I’ve vowed to never forget the hurt we put each other through to get here. Not because I want to hold onto it but because I need to remind myself what we must avoid at all costs.
I won’t survive another separation. I won’t.
That’s not to say that I’m under any illusions that our relationship is going to be straightforward from here on out. I know it will be difficult. It’s going to be hard enough to juggle this new status quo we’ve found ourselves in, let alone outside pressures and everything else stacked against us. But my relationship with the Breakers has never been easy, and I don’t expect that to change any time soon. Together we’ll figure this out. I have to have faith in that even though my stomach turns over every time I think about the precarious situation we’re in.
“Kid, you smell heavenly,” Dax says, snuggling against me in the back of Xeno’s car as he drives us all back to the Academy. It’s Sunday night and Madame Tuillard has asked me to meet with her tomorrow morning about the end of year show. I’m going to take the opportunity to request that Dax and I are paired back up again. I love River as a friend and respect him as a dancer, but we’ve got no chemistry whatsoever. It’s the right move to put us back together, I think she knows that. At least, I hope so.
“You don’t smell too bad yourself,” I joke back, tucking my nose into the crook of his neck and drawing in a deep breath. Honestly, he smells fucking delicious, and if it wasn’t for the fact that we’re in a moving car and we’ve put ourselves on a self-inflicted sex ban, however unspoken, I probably would’ve jumped his bones way before this point. Remembering how we made love has my legs squeezing together and me pressing my lips against his skin in an open-mouthed kiss.
“Stop snuggling up to that fucker. I’m getting jealous over here,” York says, sliding his hand over my thigh and squeezing. The warmth of his palm seeps into my skin through Zayn’s joggers that I borrowed, heating me up from the inside out.
“Shut the fuck up, York, need I remind you that you spent the best part of ten hours wrapped around our girl again last night. It’s my turn for a bit of Pen lovin’.”
York leans around me and cuffs the back of Dax’s head. “Fuck you, I was asleep. It doesn’t fucking count.”
“It fucking does,” Xeno, Zayn and Dax all say simultaneously. I grin. Sometimes they’re so in sync it scares me.
“Oy, shithead, do that again and I’ll mess up that pretty face of yours with some bruises. Besides, you chose to sleep,” Dax points out.
“I was shot,” he grumbles.
“At,” the three of them chorus in return, before bursting out laughing. A grin spreads across my face and it feels so good to be surrounded by their happiness. It warms me up from the inside out.
“Fuck you, you bastards. Don’t expect any damn sympathy from me anytime in the future. I wouldn’t piss on any of you if you were on fire,” York mutters, causing another round of laughter.
“Hey,” I say, taking York’s hand and replacing it on my thigh, “Enough of that. You know they love you.”
“Yeah, I know.” He turns and smiles at me, his eyes twinkling with mirth. “I love these cunts too.” Winking, he squeezes my thigh before trailing his hands up higher.
Dax growls, the sound rumbling through his chest. “Hands off, motherfucker. I’m happy to share, Kid. But I’m not happy to share, share. Comprende?”
“That’s not true and you know it. I distinctly remember you having no problem sharing Titch, big boy,” York chuckles and my cheeks flush at the memory of us as kids on Xeno’s bed the night I was covered in bruises, and they touched me with gentleness I’d never experienced before. It was the first time I’d felt truly loved and adored. It was also the first time I’d come by someone else’s hand.
“You fucker—” Dax laughs, shaking his head.
“Shit!” Xeno exclaims as the front dash lights up with an incoming call. “It’s Jeb.”
I stiffen in my seat. Dax presses a gentle kiss against my forehead and tightens his arm around my shoulder, attempting to reassure me. Zayn, who’s sitting in the passenger seat up front, reacts much the same as I do. He looks over his shoulder and gives me a tight smile, the tension obvious. The phone continues to ring and for a moment I think Xeno’s going to ignore it until he meets my gaze in the mirror. Thank fuck we’ve stopped at a traffic light, because I’m certain that Xeno’s ability to drive this car safely would be hampered by his attention fixed solely on me.
“Tiny, as far as Jeb’s concerned you mean nothing to us and as such, we have to act a certain way. He needs to believe you still mean nothing to us, that you’re a toy, nothing more. It’s the only way to protect you. Whatever we say about you, however we refer to you, believe me when I say it will hurt us just as much, but none of that is true. None of it. Understand?”
“Yeah, I get it,” I respond, dropping my gaze, my heart sinking despite his reassurance. I know how this conversation is going to go and I know I’m not going to like it.
“Jeb, what can I do for you?” Xeno asks casually the second he accepts the call.
“You taking the fucking piss?” Jeb snarls, his voice loud through the speakers. I cringe. I fucking hate this guy.
Xeno holds his voice steady even though I can see his knuckles turn white from how hard he’s holding onto the steering wheel. “I don’t follow you, Boss.”
“Don’t play that shit with me! When I said I had everything handled, I did not mean you could go fucking AWOL and spend the weekend shagging whores and avoiding my calls!! Was your head so far up some skank’s pussy that you couldn’t answer me? When I call, I expect you to fucking answer!”
“Duly noted. It won’t happen again.” The car lurches forward, Xeno’s anger making itself known even though his voice is steady.
“Where’s Zayn? Is he with you? In fact, where are the rest of the motherfucking Breakers? I should fucking shoot every last one of you pieces of shit.”
“Here, with me now,” Xeno replies, not rising to the bait. I can’t say the same for Zayn, however. He’s currently making very aggressive motions with a knife that he pulled from his leather boot a second ago. My eyes pop open in shock at the way he plays with the blade, flipping it from hand to hand and rolling it through his fingers like some kind of expert knife-thrower you might find at the fucking circus. I look from Zayn back to Dax.
“What the fuck?” I mouth. He just shakes his head and gives me an intense look.
“You’re on loudspeaker, Boss. We’re just driving back to the Academy. What’s up?”
“What’s up?” Jeb shouts. “What’s motherfucking up is that I’ve spent the best part of this weekend holed up with that fucking bitch Grim and her sidekick Beast. The fuckers’ said they had business to discuss after Friday night’s fuck up and then spent most of the time I was with them interrogating every member of that two-bit crew. I mean I’m partial to a bit of torture, and I appreciated the pussy and the cocaine, but what I wanted was more fucking information and she was sorely lacking in that department.”
Pussy? Yeah, right. I roll my eyes, the man’s fucking delusional. Again, why the fuck doesn’t he come out already. Who gives a fuck?
“Yeah? So, they didn’t talk at all?” Xeno asks, humoring him and completely ignoring his complaint.
“Turns out the cunts were nothing more than a bunch of roadmen playing gangsters. Squealed like pigs before Beast cut their balls off and shoved them down their motherfucking throats. Remind me never to do that. The fucking blood…”
My mouth drops open in shock when I realise Jeb isn’t talking metaphorically. Beast really is a beast and a force to be reckoned with. Knowing he’s on our side makes me feel a hell of a lot better about things even if the thought of him cutting off a man’s balls makes my stomach lurch.
“So, they did talk?” Xeno persists.
“Only to confirm that they’re nobodies, and Malik paid them a tidy sum to bring his man in. Otherwise, nothing of importance. I only fucking agreed to humor Grim and stay at their hotel in Mayfair because I thought she might have some more information for me. Fucking wasted weekend.”
“Grim certainly was pissed someone went after her property,” Xeno says without an ounce of emotion in his voice. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that I’m the property he’s referring to. He gives me a brief, apologetic look in the rearview mirror that I accept with a terse nod of my head.
“She’s a fucking crazy bitch. The second we get what we need, I’m going to put a bullet in her skull, but not before riddling her fucking boyfriend with holes first. Let her watch that twisted fuck bleed out before she dies.”
I suck in a shocked breath, covering my mouth when I realise my mistake. York squeezes my thigh and I catch his sharp gaze. He holds his finger up to his lips, warning me with his eyes to keep quiet. “She sure is a crazy bitch,” York agrees, knowing as well as I do that Jeb won’t get the chance to take out Beast, let alone Grim. He’s an arrogant cock for thinking he could.
“York, you fuck. I’m surprised you haven’t tried it on with Grim yourself. You like your bitches a little unhinged, ain’t that right?”
I keep my gaze fixed on York and catch the slight tick of annoyance in his jaw before he covers it up with a laugh. “Yeah, you got me there, Boss.”
“Did you get anything worthwhile from Grim?” Xeno asks, steering the conversation back to less personal ground. Next to him Zayn’s currently balancing the knife blade on the pad of his forefinger. I watch entranced, silently praying he doesn’t suddenly drop it and impale the blade into his thigh. It seems to calm him, playing with the blade that way. Funny, when we were kids, dance did that. It used to be the only thing to calm him down after an altercation with Jeb. Looks like knife handling has the same effect these days. I’m not sure I like it.
“What do you think? She’s a shrewd bitch and plays her cards close to her chest. Though she did tell me that The Belladonnas are going to make a move on The Cobras’ turf up north. Looks like those bitches are getting a little too big for their boots.”
“Best to stay out of it,” Xeno advises.
“Yeah, let them take each other out then I can step in. Nothing like a good, clean takeover,” Jeb says with a chuckle, and I’m reminded of how he swept in and claimed the Hackney’s Hackers crew after the King was murdered. Figures, he’s the type of guy to let other people do the dirty work before claiming leadership. Dickhead.
“Sounds like a solid plan,” Zayn says, suddenly flipping his knife and catching it by the handle.
“Ah, I wondered when you’d speak up. Did all that pussy tire out your tongue,” Jeb asks, the sneer in his voice making me vibrate with anger. How fucking dare he speak to Zayn like that!? York squeezes my thigh and my mouth slams shut.
“I think we deserved the entertainment, don’t you? Pretty sure me and the boys took most of Malik’s men out whilst you disappeared to clean his brains off your clothes…” Zayn retorts, the insinuation clear, Jeb’s a fucking piece of shit coward.
Clearing his throat and not cursing Zayn out like I expect him to do, Jeb simply changes the subject. “What the fuck happened to Penelope anyway? That little slut is way too close with Grim for my liking.”
“I knocked her out with anesthesia and dumped her back at the Academy just like Grim asked me to do. She probably woke up with one hell of a headache and is most likely scared shitless. I’ll let Grim deal with the aftermath. Though I sure had fun playing with her,” Xeno says, all blasé and heartless sounding like he really doesn’t give a fuck. If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume he hated me still.
“Yeah, nice touch dancing with her like that. You’re a sick fuck,” Jeb chuckles and I want to throw up.
“She got what she deserved.” Xeno glances at me once again, and I swallow hard at the fear in his eyes. I know he’s playing a part, I know that, but it doesn’t make it any easier to hear. Being together again is so new and given what we’ve been through it would be easy to fall back into all the mistrust if we allowed ourselves to. Breathing in deeply, I give Xeno a small smile.
“Penelope’s fucking lucky I didn’t let Malik take her that first time. Zayn was right, she’s way too valuable to me as Grim’s new toy. Grim looks out for her own and given she likes the little whore it works as a nice bit of leverage for later, don’t you think? Besides, you stepping in like that at the last minute secured our newly formed relationship nicely. It was a win-win.” Jeb laughs raucously like he’s some villain from a fucking Marvel movie. A sudden anger rushes beneath my skin. He’s such a fucking prick.
“Yeah, it worked out perfectly. Though we gotta tread carefully with Grim. I’m surprised she let Xeno get up on that stage,” Zayn adds.
“Don’t I fucking know it. She drove a hard fucking bargain when it came to that little whore but the fact she let Xeno do the job tells me she’s more trusting than I gave her credit for, and that is just fucking perfect. She’s playing right into our hands…” His voice trails off as he quietens for a moment.
“What?” Xeno asks, and I can hear the tension in his voice. I can feel it. It’s as though all the Breakers are taking a collective breath. The car swerves suddenly and Xeno narrowly misses a cyclist. He palms the horn, and curses loudly.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Jeb snaps, his patience wearing thin.
“Cyclist,” Xeno bites out.
“Anyway, I was thinking. Maybe it’s time you all start acting like you’re interested in the little slut again. Grim needs convincing of our loyalty and what better way than to use Penelope to do just that? Perhaps she’ll come in useful after all.”
I tense in Dax’s arms, and in response he just pulls me closer and presses a kiss on top of my head whilst York strokes my thigh reassuringly.
“If you think it would work, I’m game,” Xeno replies tightly.
“So long as you boys remember our code.”
“Skins before whores,” the four say in unison and I cringe, hating every damn word.
“That’s it boys, Skins before whores.”
“What did you make of the show, Jeb?” Zayn asks casually, moving the conversation on.
Jeb scoffs. “Really who the fuck cares? Tales is successful because of the fighting. A bunch of whores prancing around ain’t befitting of such an establishment. Not that I give a shit what Grim chooses to do with the club right now because as soon as it’s mine, I will own every member of staff, including Penelope pretty-girl Scott, and she will be doing way more than dancing to earn her fucking keep.”
A sudden dread slides down my spine, and despite the fact Dax’s arm is wrapped around me in that protective way of his, I still can’t help but be fearful. Dax lowers his mouth to my ear. “Don’t. We got this. He will never own you. I’ll kill him first. Okay?” he whispers.
I nod, telling him that I believe him, but that doesn’t stop the sick feeling in my stomach when all I keep hearing is the four of them saying ‘Skins before whores’ in my head over and over again.
“Well, I’ve got to fucking go. I want a catch-up meeting at Rocks before our first shipment is due to go over the finer details. Make sure D-Neath comes along. It might be fun if you bring Penelope along with you. She could entertain the club with her dancing whilst we talk business. She owes me a show, perhaps we could loan her for the night. Know what I’m saying?” Jeb suggests, laughing cruelly. He really is a spiteful bastard.
“Grim ain’t gonna go for that. Besides, she’s working every weekend at Tales now. Best not piss Grim off by stealing her prized possession,” Zayn reminds him.
“Yeah, point taken. Maybe you’re good for more than just a knife fight,” Jeb says, taking every chance he can to belittle Zayn. My fingers curl into the seat as I try to dampen my anger. How the fuck any of them, especially Zayn, have kept his cool with the prick I’ll never know. York rests his hand over mine and squeezes it gently. I relax a little, his touch calming me.
“Now fuck-off and get on with your tasks. Santiago is pushing for the first shipment to be sent over in a few weeks and I need you to make sure D-Neath has everything in place ready for it.”
“You got it,” Xeno responds.
The line goes dead, and Xeno lets out a long breath then curses Jeb all the way back to the Academy.
