Pen
Grim and Mr. Suited-and-booted look up as Xeno guides me to a seat at the table. He doesn’t try to touch me; he simply pulls out a chair and sits down on my left.
“Beast called. He said it’s going to take a few more hours to get shit cleared up at the club,” Grim says, eyeing me as she talks.
“I thought you said Malik was being dissolved in acid,” I say, shocked at my own ability to talk about such a heinous act without feeling nauseous this time. I feel disconnected from the horror of it. Numb. I’m not sure that’s a good thing. In fact, I know it’s not. I only have to look at my Breakers to know that.
“Malik wasn’t the only one who was put down last night. His bodyguards and the dozen soldiers Malik sent to storm Tales were also taken care of. The fucking pricks thought they’d get past my security, fuck us all up and take you. Stupid. It was a bloody fight. Your Breakers did good dealing with them.”
“Bloody! Are they in the hospital? Why didn’t you—” I can feel my heart thumping in my throat as my words are lost beneath the frantic beat that makes my head spin. “You didn’t tell me they were hurt!” I accuse, my teeth clacking as a sudden onset of shivers wrack my body.
“They’re okay, Pen,” Xeno reassures me. “I spoke to Dax earlier. York has a surface wound on his arm where a stray bullet caught him, but he’s good. Nothing that a few stitches won’t sort out. He’s getting sewn up by Joey as we speak. Zayn and Dax are helping Beast clean up. They’ll be on their way here as soon as they can.”
“York was hurt because of me…” I mumble, trying to wrap my head around everything.
Opposite, Grim watches me closely. “York was shot because of Malik Brov. This isn’t on you, so don’t even go the fuck there. You’re in shock, Pen. Frankly, I don’t blame you. Despite Xeno’s fuck-up, you are safe, and we will continue to keep you safe.”
“I want to believe what you’re saying, Grim…” My voice trails off as I try and wrap my head around everything they’ve told me. Xeno hadn’t lied when he said he was trying to protect me, except he put everyone in danger by stepping in the ring and dancing with me. I have mixed feelings about that now. That moment of pure joy has been sullied by the fact that his decision could’ve cost everyone their lives, that he acted on a whim and regrets it. Now I understand what he meant by it being a mistake and I hate that.
“I get your caution, I really do, but I also need you to understand that if I wanted to hurt you I would’ve let that prick, Jeb, sell you to Malik that first night you danced at Tales. I would’ve said no when you asked me to protect your sister. I didn’t.”
“I know, and I appreciate that. It’s just I’ve—”
“You’ve always had to rely on yourself. You’ve had to fight your own battles. You’ve been let down by the people who promised to look out for you before. You don’t trust easily,” she fills in, glancing at Xeno who stiffens by my side.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Look, Pen, I’m gonna give you a little insight into my past. I’m trusting you with this information. Xeno, too. Maybe then you’ll understand where I’m coming from and will trust that I’m on your side. Me and Xeno might have our differences, but we’re both on the same page when it comes to the goal we all have.”
“Goal you all have?” I ask, frowning. I look between the three of them wondering how the hell this all fits together.
“Yeah. I’m sure you’ve gathered by now, but there’s more to this than meets the eye.”
“Grim…?” Mr. Suited-and-booted questions. He’s been silent, listening, watching this all unfold.
“It’s cool. I trust them both. Actually, I trust Pen. I’m still on the fence about Xeno,” she admits, giving him a sweet smile that I would’ve laughed at if I had the energy to do so. “But you trust him—”
“I do,” Mr. Suited-and-booted agrees.
“Besides, Xeno knows if he betrays me, us, he’s dead. I think that’s a pretty good incentive not to fuck up. Right?”
“Likewise,” Xeno retorts, glaring at Grim.
Mr. Suited-and-booted sighs, but he doesn’t prevent Grim from sharing whatever it is that she wishes to say. Her pretty eyes meet mine and I can see her shore up her defences just like I’m prone to doing.
“You’re not the only one with shitty fucking parents, Pen. My father turned out to be a first-class bastard.” She laughs bitterly, and I hear her pain, recognise it. “For a long time I believed he was a good man. Don’t get me wrong, I knew he was dangerous. But dangerous was normal for me. I grew up surrounded by dangerous people, in an environment that wasn’t fit for a girl who spent most of her time with her head in a book dreaming about ivory towers and knights in shining fucking armor. Despite that, I believed my father loved me.” She laughs at that, shaking her head at the child she was. “I realised pretty fucking quick that my father wasn’t the man I believed him to be when he attempted to exchange me in lieu of payment of a debt. I was seventeen. He was prepared to give me up to live a life as a sex slave to get himself out of a spot of trouble. So let’s just say, I’m a little sensitive about the subject.” Her voice trails off and for a brief moment I see the sadness and deep pain she holds.
“I’m sorry,” I say, meaning it. Understanding her betrayal.
“Don’t be. It all worked out in the end because when it came down to it, the person I didn’t think had the strength to protect me was the only one who could.”
“Beast?”
“No, Pen. Me. I realised that the only hero in my story would be me. You and I are alike in that respect. You don’t need anyone to save you because you’re strong enough to save yourself. I admire that, respect it. You trust your instincts. You fight for the people you love. You don’t take any shit. It’s hard for you and me to trust because we’ve both been let down in the worst possible way by our parents, by people we care about. Like I said, Beast and I weren’t always this close. He let me down too, and he’s been making up for that ever since. So, I get it. I get what you’ve been through, what you’re going through now. You’re uncertain. It’s understandable.” She flicks her gaze to Xeno and when I look at him, I can see a flash of shame pass across his face before he slips his mask back on.
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask.
“A little while ago you asked me what I’d want in return for protecting your sister. I told you that I wouldn’t ask anything of you that you wouldn’t be willing to give.”
“Yes, I remember—” I stiffen, waiting for the blow. Waiting for the price I’m going to have to pay so they continue to keep Lena safe.
“I’m asking you to go against your natural instincts and trust me, trust the Breakers not to hurt you anymore, because believe me Pen, if they so much as make another damn tear fall out of your eyes, I will personally castrate them,” she says fiercely.
Xeno barks out a laugh. “Fucking try it.”
“More importantly,” she continues, ignoring Xeno. “I’m asking you to trust my best friend. I’m asking you to listen to him.” I watch her stub out her cigarette in an ashtray that’s already overflowing.
“Beast?” I frown.
Grim chuckles. “Beast winds me up way too much to be my best friend. No, I’m talking about this man here.” Then she looks over at Mr. Suited-and-booted and smiles. It’s a warm, genuine smile, and I can’t help but wonder how Beast feels about their relationship. I can’t imagine he’d be all that happy about it.
“Beast isn’t going to like you saying that,” he replies as though reading my thoughts.
Grim shrugs. “Beast knows how I feel about you. He deals with it. Besides, he’s my whole fucking universe, and he happens to know that too.”
“Yeah, yeah. We all know how much you love that brute.”
I look between the two of them. Like, what the actual fuck? These two are best friends? They couldn’t be any more different if they tried. Grim is edgy, dangerous. This guy looks like he’d be better off sitting in some office in the city with his crisp suit and fucking handkerchief sticking out of his pocket.
“You must be wondering what the hell is going on. I can see the questions in your gaze. None of this is making a lick of sense, right?” he asks me.
I nod. “Yeah, you could say that I have a lot of questions.”
“Then between us we’ll answer anything you wish to know.” He flicks his gaze to Xeno and nods. “Xeno can tell you how we came to meet a year ago, and then together we’ll fill you in on everything else.”
I look between them all, my throat drying. “Okay.”
“But first I think it’s only polite that I should introduce myself seeing as neither of these two have the manners to do that. My name isn’t motherfucker, though on occasion my brothers might tend to agree with that evaluation of me…” His top lip twitches in mirth, but my face remains deadpan.
“I’m guessing it’s not Mr. Suited-and-booted either?” I ask, perhaps a little too sarcastically.
His smile grows, those green eyes of his lighting up. “No, Pen,” he says, offering his hand for me to shake, I take it and he grins broadly. “My name’s Hudson. Hudson Freed. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
