Pen
“Thanks for coming to get me,” I say, pressing my head against the cool glass of the window and watching the city lights blur against the night sky as we speed down the motorway.
“Hey, that’s what friends are for, right? You don’t need to thank me,” Grim replies, squeezing my hand gently. Her fingers are warm against my chilled skin, and despite the warmth of the car and the heated seats, I’m still cold.
“Regardless, I appreciate it.” My breath steams up the window, misting my view of the world. That’s kind of how I feel right now, like everything’s blurred. I’m finding it hard to distinguish between real memories and nightmares. Between what’s the right thing to do and what’s the wrong thing to do. Between love and fear. It’s why I had to leave. Being with the Breakers right now isn’t an option. I need to set my head right. Besides, I can’t be there when Xeno leaves for Mexico.
“Will they hate me for this?” I ask, my voice quiet.
“They let you come with me, didn’t they? I think they get what you need right now. You’re not running away. You just need a little bit of time to deal with this.”
“I’m not so sure. You didn’t see how they looked at me. It was like that night all over again.”
When my voice catches, Grim glances over at me. “If they give you a hard time, I’ll break their fucking necks.”
“I’m not sure that’s helpful, Grim. I love them. I don’t want them dead.”
She glances over at me. “Yeah, I know you do, and despite this complete fuck-up of the last few days, they love you too. Enough to give you space and trust you’ll return. Enough to take out two fucking crews.”
“And David…” I mutter.
“What?” Grim asks
“Xeno’s catching a flight to Mexico in a couple days. He’s going to kill David.”
“The fuck!?”
I swallow hard, blinking back my tears. “That’s partly why I left. I couldn’t stand to see Xeno leave. He’s got it into his head that the only way to keep me safe is to kill David.”
Grim is quiet for a moment. When she pulls off the motorway, following the sign to Hackney, a long sigh releases from her mouth. “I agree with him.”
“With Xeno?”
“Yes.”
“You knew about his plan?” I ask, my voice rising.
“No, but given what’s gone down it doesn’t come as a surprise. Though I have to admit, whilst I agree that David has to die, I don’t agree that Xeno should be the one to do it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean if anyone deserves to murder that fucking cunt, it’s you…” She lets that statement hang in the air and when I don’t respond after five long minutes, she pulls over onto a side street and parks the car before turning to face me.
“Pen. After Saturday night my opinion of your brother has changed. I thought he was just another bullshitter who barks and never bites, but he’s proven that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to take you and everyone you love out. He’s played his first hand, and I’m betting it’s only going to escalate, especially now that we suspect Santiago is sanctioning everything he does.”
“So you do think Xeno should go to Mexico?” I ask in confusion.
“No, I think that’s a fucking suicide mission, and the second we get home I’m calling Hud to intervene.”
“So what’s the alternative?”
“We draw David out, and when that day comes, you’ll be the one to decide how he dies. Either by your hand, or by one of your Breakers. Hell, I’ll even do it myself if that’s what you want.”
My eyes flick to her stomach. “No.”
“No? You think being pregnant changes what I’m capable of?” Grim laughs, shaking her head. “If anything, knowing I have a baby inside of me makes me even more determined. I will protect my child until my very last breath.”
“That isn’t what I meant, Grim. I don’t want David dead. I want him to suffer, and the only way that’s going to happen is if he’s rotting in prison for the rest of his life whilst I’m living mine freely with the men I love,” I say, repeating what I said to Xeno just a few hours ago.
Grim considers me for a moment. “You’re a lot like Hudson, do you know that? I think that’s why I like you so much.”
“How so?”
“He’s smart, loving, kind, loyal and stubborn as fuck. Like you, he wants to see his arch nemesis rot in jail. It’s kind of cute, actually. I would’ve had them both tortured.” She grins then restarts the car, putting it into drive. “Okay then, prison it is. We’ll get them both banged up together. Now we just have to figure out how to get the fuckers over here, because so far our plan ain’t working out so great.”
My mobile phone pings with a message from Clancy and I heave out a sigh. “Shit.”
“What?”
“It’s Clancy, she’s expecting me back at the Academy tomorrow, but I can’t face it right now… I’m going to get chucked out.”
“The hell you will! I’ll get Hud to speak to Tuillard. You’ll go back Monday once you’ve had a few more days. Just text Clancy back and tell her that you aren’t well enough yet. If she’s as good a friend as you say she is, she’ll understand.”
“Thanks, Grim. I really do appreciate everything you’re doing.”
She glances over at me and nods. “Seems to me that you’ve spent your whole life looking out for everyone else, sacrificing your happiness so the people you love can be safe. Maybe it’s time you let other people take care of you for a change, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I reply softly.
“Beast is looking forward to seeing you. I think the stupid arse likes you.” Grim winks, letting me know that she’s cool with that.
“How’s he doing? God, I haven’t even asked about him, that’s really shitty of me.”
“Don’t sweat it. He’s fine, though his nose is pretty sore actually.”
I frown. “His nose? I don’t remember anyone punching him.”
“That’s because it happened after you dropped him home. The stupid fucker took a risk that could’ve got him killed. I am not about to be a single mother.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? He can think for himself. Dax called; he came. Like me, Beast rarely likes anyone. He likes Dax, he likes you. I’m just pissed that he snuck off without telling me. He took advantage of the fact that this baby growing in my stomach makes me tired as fuck. I fell asleep in my damn office at Tales while he crept out and acted the hero.”
“You know, he kind of was a hero. If it wasn’t for him…”
“Yeah, I do know. That’s the only reason I didn’t murder his arse.” Grim chuckles, shaking her head in amusement.
“How are you feeling, apart from the tiredness?”
“Put it this way, there’s nothing like a baby growing inside your belly to bring out the mama bear in you. I’m feeling very fucking protective of the people I care about. You included, Pen. So, if those Breakers give you anymore shit, I’m gonna unleash my beast and I’m telling you, she’s a lot scarier than Roger.” She bursts out laughing and I can’t help but join in.
“Is that really Beast’s name… Roger?”
“Fucking awful, isn’t it. Whilst Joey was digging out the bullet and sewing him up, Beast let it slip out that Jeb had called him by his real name in front of you all. That in itself is an act of war in Beast’s eyes, regardless of all the other stuff Jeb came out with. If Zayn hadn’t killed him, Beast would’ve just for that alone.”
“Remind me not to call him Roger then,” I say with a half-smile.
“Oh no, you’d better. He likes you too much to kill you for it.”
We fall into companionable silence for the rest of the journey to Grim’s place. Ten minutes later she drives down a familiar street in the posh part of Hackney. I sit up in my seat, my mouth dropping open as she pulls up outside number 15 Jackson Street. “Wait a minute…”
“Surprise,” she says, with a hint of a smile playing on her lips.
“This is…”
“Was the Skins’ headquarters. It’s now mine.”
“When? How?”
“Jeb found a new place a few years back, and I brought it for a steal from the family who owned it. I think they were grateful to finally get rid of it. It was a shit-tip, and now it isn’t.”
“But…” I shake my head, my eyes blinking back the shock as I take in the stunning home before me now. There are no broken windows, or missing tiles from the roof. The metal door that was supposed to keep squatters out, but never did, has been replaced with a large red door adorned with a lion’s head brass knocker. The front drive is well manicured and lined with shrubs and plants, and the window frames are painted white. It’s beautiful, and a far cry from the building I remember in my not-so-distant past.
“Home sweet home,” Grim says, smiling proudly as she clicks a button on her key fob and the shiny black iron gate swings open, allowing her to drive straight in.
“This is unreal,” I say, climbing out of the car. My gaze trails to the side of the building and the basement entrance that we used to use. I wonder if Asia’s mural is still painted on the walls. My heart squeezes at the thought that it probably isn’t.
“Come on, let’s get you settled in,” Grim says, winding her arm through mine and guiding me up the freshly painted front steps. She doesn’t need to unlock the door because the second we reach the top step; Beast pulls it open.
“Well, hello there, sweetheart. How’re you doing?” he asks, grinning at me with two black eyes and a plaster across his nose.
“Better than you by the looks of it,” I joke.
“What, this?” he says, pointing at his nose. “I fell onto Grim’s right hook.”
“That’s what she said.” We all grin.
“Come on, it’s bloody cold out here. Move aside, Roger, and let us in,” Grim says with a wink. Beast swats her on the butt playfully as she walks past him. A laugh bursts from my lips but is soon snatched from my mouth as I step into the hallway.
“Holy shit!” I exclaim, my eyes widening as I take in the stunning hallway with wooden parquet flooring and artwork covering every inch of the walls. “Is that Asia’s work?”
“Yep, the girl’s got wicked skills,” Beast replies.
“She’s so talented,” I say, my eyes drawn from the incredible artwork and upwards to the huge chandelier-slash-art installation hanging above the staircase. “Wow! Did she do that too?”
“No, it’s awesome though, isn’t it?” Grim asks, closing the door behind us and handing her coat and bag to Beast. He takes them and drops a kiss to her cheek. A look passes between them, and my chest tightens at their obvious love and intimacy. I look away.
“It’s amazing. This place is… gorgeous.”
“This is just the hallway, wait until you see the rest of the house,” Beast says. “Grim has a good eye when it comes to interior design. She ain’t just a pretty face.”
Grim shoves his chest. “I’m much more than a pretty face and don’t you forget it.”
“Babe, I’ll love you when your hair is thinning, your arse is sagging, and your tits are—”
Grim punches him in the arm. “Quit whilst you’re ahead,” she chides.
Beast turns to me and winks. “Come on, let me get you something to eat. Then we can discuss how hard I need to kick your Breakers’ arses.”
An hour later, after stuffing myself with a delicious ham, cheese and mushroom omelet and washing it down with a cup of tea, I climb under the covers of one of the most comfortable beds I’ve ever slept on and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep in the house that once held both my fondest memories and my darkest demons.
