Pen
“You kept it?” I ask, focusing on the mural in front of me. The colours are still as vibrant as they ever were, but that’s the only part of the basement that’s remained the same. Now there’s a carpeted floor with underfloor heating, a massive floor to ceiling TV screen, and a huge purple cuddle chair situated at the back of the room that’s big enough to sleep six let alone seat two people. There’s even one of those posh wine refrigerators full of soft drinks and bottles of wine against one wall. Long gone is the musty, dirt-encrusted cellar filled with a moth-eaten sofa and a threadbare armchair. Now it’s a perfectly indulgent mini-cinema with a downstairs shower room.
“Asia would’ve killed me if I painted over it. She said that one day it might be worth something. I’m sure she figures herself a Banksy.” Grim chuckles, but there’s nothing but love and respect in her voice.
“She’s just as good an artist,” I reply, wandering over to the wall and pressing my hand against the mural. My fingers trace over the word Breakers and tears well in my eyes as a flood of memories come hurtling back. It’d been the best Christmas present I’d ever had, even if they did give it to me on New Year’s Eve. I remember how they lit the room with fairy lights and candles, how we spent the night together just the four of us and I’d got drunk on Amaretto Sours that York had made for me. It had been the best night of my life then my worst when David turned up to ruin it, just like he always ruins everything. Pushing those memories aside, I plaster on a smile for Grim. She sits down on the cuddle chair, her hands stroking over the plush velvet material.
“When we bought this house, I had no idea that Asia did this. In fact, finding this mural was how we found out about Eastern’s friendship with Dax. Hudson had been searching for a way to get close to Santiago for a long time, and when Eastern explained how this mural came to be, Hud and I knew that was the opportunity he was searching for. He just needed to persuade your Breakers to get on board.”
“Funny how things work out…” I say.
“It is, isn’t it…?” Grim blows out a breath, her eyes raking over my face. My stomach drops.
“What?”
“I like your bandana,” she says, pointing to the one I’m wearing like a headband.
“Thanks, but this isn’t about my bandana, is it?” I ask, knowing that the look in her eyes has nothing to do with my fashion choices.
She shakes her head. “No…”
“Grim, please. Just put me out of my misery.”
“Xeno didn’t fly out to Mexico this morning, Pen. He didn’t take the flight.”
“Wait, he didn’t go?”
“No, he didn’t go.”
“Oh, thank fuck!” I blurt out, feeling as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. “The thought of him going through with it has had me tied up in knots these past few days. I’ve been worried sick.”
“I know…” Grim’s voice trails off and I look over at her.
“Is there something else?” I ask.
“I spoke to Clancy last night. She’s stepping in for you this weekend at Tales and is more than happy to put a routine together at short notice. She’s been at the club all day going through the routine.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I can go to work.”
“No. You’ve had a shock. It’s not every day you get a knife held against your throat and witness a bloodbath. I understand what that feels like to experience for the first time. I get what you’re going through.”
“You’re talking as though it’s something I’ll get used to.”
“I did,” she shrugs. “Violence comes with the territory, Pen.”
“I know that.” Sighing heavily, I plaster a smile on my face. “I should ring Clancy. Thank her for stepping up.”
“Yeah. She’s a good person, Pen. She’s also smart and knows that there’s more to this than meets the eye. Do you trust her?”
“Yes, I do.”
Grim nods. “Good. Trustworthy friends are a dime a dozen. Keep her close. You’ll need her.”
“I will. Thank you for everything you’ve done,” I say, giving Grim a hug. She pats me on the back, then leans back and squeezes my arm.
“You’re all welcome to stay here this weekend. This cuddle chair doubles up as a bed but come Monday we go back to the plan. You need to get back to the Academy,” she says, untangling herself from my hold.
I frown. “All welcome?”
“I invited your boys over. They should be here in about half an hour. I figured you’d want to see them now that you know Xeno hasn’t flown to Mexico. You can sleep down here together. There’s duvets and pillows in the cupboard over there and the cuddle chair is roomy enough for you all,” Grim says, smiling knowingly.
“They’re coming here now?! I exclaim. My stomach flips over, butterflies taking flight as I run my hand through my hair nervously.
“You want me to call them, tell them not to?”
“No, it’s time. We’ve got a lot to discuss…” I’ve spent the past few days mulling over everything that’s happened and no matter where my thoughts go, they always end up in exactly the same place; I love them. It’s as simple and as complicated as that.
“That you do, girl.” Grim tips her head to the side, studying me.
“Is this where you give me more advice?” I question, smiling a little so she knows I mean no disrespect.
“You’ve got something special with those boys, you know that, right?” She smiles gently. “Fuck me, I’m no expert in relationships, but I know that much.”
“You really believe that?”
“I know what I said before about them but believe me those Breakers love you as much as Beast loves me, and that kind of love doesn’t come around very often. It’s fucking rare. Special. It deserves a chance.”
“I thought you didn’t like them?”
“I can be wrong. It happens.” She gives me a wry smile. “They miss you. They’ve been calling and texting Beast like a bunch of lovesick puppies.”
“Sounds like harassment to me,” I joke.
“They’re fucking insane for you, Pen.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. David is insane for me too…” My voice trails off as nausea rises up my throat again.
“This isn’t the same, Pen. David’s feelings for you are toxic.”
“I know that.” My gaze flicks back to the mural. It’s been three days since I’ve seen or spoken to the Breakers and they’ve kept to their word and given me the space I needed to wrap my head around everything. “Being down here, seeing this mural again…”
“You’ve missed them too?”
“Yeah, so fucking much.”
“Can I give you a piece of advice, Pen?”
“Sure.”
“There will be times when your relationship will be tested to its limit. I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to be in a relationship with four men, but I do know what it’s like to be with someone who doesn’t fit society’s idea of a good man…”
“Beast seems like a good man to me,” I reply.
“He kills people, Pen. He does it without flinching. I’ve seen him in action more times than I can count. Beast truly is a beast, but I understand him. He is loyal and fucking brave. He’s also dangerous. Cross him and die… But if he accepts you, then he’ll have your back until the end of time. He will do anything to protect the ones he loves, just like the Breakers. I see that now.”
“I hear what you’re saying…”
Grim fixes me with her gaze. “At the end of the day, Pen, you’re the only person who knows their hearts. They’ve killed people. News flash, so have I, but there’s a difference between people who kill because they get a kick out of it and those who kill to keep who they love safe, to survive a life they never fucking asked for. Your brother and Santiago are psychopaths. They hurt people because it gets them off. They don’t love, they don’t even understand the concept, and the only person they look after is themselves. Your Breakers aren’t like that.”
“I know. I know that.”
“Good. Well then…” Her voice trails off as she looks at me. Grim has been the kind of friend I never thought she could be, like an older sister I’ve always wanted. God knows she’s shown more kindness to me these past few weeks than my own mum has my whole life.
“What?” I ask, softly.
“I’m not doing any of this because you’re good for business, Pen. Though you really, really are. I’m doing this because I care. I just wanted to make sure you understood that.”
I nod, the emotion wrapping around us both like a comforting blanket. “I do, and ditto…. One day I’d love to hear the story of how you and Beast got together,” I say after a beat.
Grim laughs at that. “Ours isn’t your typical love story. More like a Brothers Grimm fairytale honestly. I’m not sure it’ll be your thing.”
I raise my brows. “Are you kidding? I’m partial to the unusual. Everything else is boring.”
She laughs. “Well, I suppose you have a point. Maybe when this is all over, I’ll tell you how that brute got me to fall in love with him. How about that?”
“I’d like that.”
“I will warn you, though, it’s kind of twisted. Beast’s idea of wooing me was bringing me the hearts of my enemies.”
When she doesn’t burst out laughing, my mouth drops open in shock. “What? That’s fucking gross.” Not to mention insane, though I’m not stupid enough to mention that part out loud. I like Beast. I know he’s got a reputation, but shit. It kind of puts everything I’ve been feeling into perspective. My Breakers might be violent when the need arises, but I’m pretty sure they don’t go cutting out people’s hearts and offering them up as gifts.
“It was a bit. The last heart he delivered was my father’s. Most romantic thing he’s ever done for me, though I didn’t appreciate it at the time. Pretty sure I shot him for it actually,” she replies with a shrug of her shoulders.
“What the fuck, Grim? He brought you your father’s heart…”
“See? Told you, that’s Grimm fairytale shit right there. I wonder whether my dad gave me the nickname Grim because somewhere in the back of his head he knew my life would end up like some twisted fairytale,” she muses.
“I don’t know what to say…” Fucking hearts.
“I told you Beast really is a beast, but he’s my beast, and I have absolutely no doubts that he will be the best father to our baby. Though I already feel sorry for the poor fucker who falls in love with her…”
“Her?” I ask, blinking back my shock.
She pats her belly, her eyes lighting with love. “It’s just a hunch, but I’d put good money on this little one being a girl.”
“A little girl, eh?”
We both turn around as Beast enters the room. He’s holding a cardboard box. I look from Grim to Beast and back again, my stomach tightening. “Please don’t tell me that’s a…”
Grim laughs so hard that tears spring from her eyes. “No, Pen. Beast hasn’t brought me a heart since he stole mine. Isn’t that right, Beast?”
Beast’s eyes widen, and he looks over at me warily. “You told Pen about that? Way to make her fucking shit-scared of me!” Grim just laughs some more. “I don’t make a habit of cutting out peoples’ hearts, Pen. At least not anymore. Those were dark days and perhaps not a story for today. Yeah, my love?” Beast says, huffing out a breath as he strides across the room and places the cardboard box in the same cupboard that I changed my wet clothes in all those years ago.
“Definitely not a story for today,” Grim agrees, taking his proffered hand when he offers it to her. “Catch you later, Pen, and remember what I said, okay?” Grim says, squeezing my arm before heading back upstairs with Beast, leaving me to wait for my Breakers in the place where it all began.
