Pen
An hour later I hear the sound of raised voices. Climbing out of the bath, I dry off quickly and grab a toweling robe from the back of the bathroom door. Stepping out into the hallway, my wet hair dripping down my back, I follow the sound, my feet padding silently over the heated floor.
“You piece of fucking shit. What were you thinking?” Dax yells, shoving at Xeno’s chest as I step into the open space. Both are too busy getting in each other’s faces to notice me enter.
Xeno grits his jaw. “I wasn’t thinking Dax, that’s the issue.”
“Tell me something I don’t already know, dickhead!” Dax’s left eye is completely swollen shut now and a trail of blood trickles down his face from his split eyebrow, aggravated by his anger. Beast certainly did a number on him. That fight, and our conversation at Tale’s, seems like a lifetime ago, not just a few short hours.
“I asked Beast to send York and Zayn back too, where are they?”
“Don’t change the fucking subject! I could fucking murder you!” Dax shoves Xeno again, and I see the familiar anger that Xeno tries his hardest to keep under wraps, flare to life.
“Just do it. Just hit me! Get it out of your system so we can move the fuck on,” Xeno growls, squaring his shoulders, the muscle in his jaw ticking. He doesn’t even try to fight back when Dax grabs him by his jumper and fists the material in his hand, before raising a clenched fist.
“Dax, stop!” I shout, snapping out of my inertia and rushing forward. I get how he’s feeling. I understand he’s pissed at Xeno, but I’m done with all the bullshit fighting. The only way we’re going to get through this is together. That starts right the fuck now.
Dax lets Xeno go with a shove the moment he hears me and turns, capturing me in his arms.
“Kid, thank fuck!” he exclaims, sweeping me up against his chest and lifting me off my feet. He steps away from Xeno, still holding me close as he rains down kisses over my face. Behind us, Xeno strides into the kitchen area and clutches onto the sink, dropping his head between his shoulders. I feel torn between them. It’s not a feeling I like or want. The easy way we used to be with each other when we were kids seems so out of reach. That needs to change.
“Kid, are you okay?” Dax releases his hold enough for me to look up at him.
“I’m doing fine, Dax.” I don’t tell him that up until a few hours ago I was a complete mess, or that Xeno and I fucked away our past hurt. I’m not sure that will help the situation right now.
After another bone crushing hug, Dax drops me to my feet. Lowering me slowly down his body before capturing my cheeks in his hands, his good eye searching my face. “You sure you’re okay? I came back the second I could get away. I’ve been going fucking insane needing to get back to you.”
“I really am, but are you?” I ask, my fingers gently hovering over his bruised and battered face. Lifting up onto my tiptoes, I press a gentle kiss against his swollen cheek. “It’s worse.”
“I’ll live,” he mutters, as my mouth slides lower and I gently press a kiss on his lips, not wanting to hurt him. Grabbing my arse and hauling me close, Dax kisses me back passionately. “No need to be gentle with me, Kid,” he mutters after I pull back and drag in a breath. God, how these men make me lightheaded.
I’m pretty sure I hear Xeno growl, which only makes Dax lean back in and kiss me harder. I’m not complaining.
“Ah, so that’s why you left us to bring the bags up. Nice man, nice.”
York.
Dax chuckles against my mouth, but he lets me go and I wiggle out of his arms, running into York’s, who drops a rucksack on the floor. Like Dax, he hauls me up against his body and kisses me thoroughly. By the time I pull back, we’re both flushed, and York has a sheen of sweat across his forehead.
“I’ve got to be honest, I wasn’t expecting such a warm welcome, Titch,” he remarks, with a wink. “Just so you know, I’m partial to a spanking in case you come to your senses and wanna give me a slap for keeping secrets from you.” He’s referring to the whole Hudson, Santiago thing and I realise Xeno called them whilst I was in the bath to fill them in.
“You’re sweating!” I exclaim, swatting at his chest because he’s got a point. He did keep things from me, they all did, but I’m prevented from fulfilling his fantasies when I see just how pale he looks. He’s more ghostly than vampish in the early morning light that feathers between the gaps in the blinds.
“That’s because you’re so damn hot,” he retorts with a wink.
“York, you should sit down,” I say worriedly.
“What a fucking wimp. Anyone would think he was shot.” Dax scoffs with a smile in his voice and a warm, brotherly kind of love in his eyes.
“Fuck off, you prick. At least I’m not giving Frankenstein’s monster a run for his money. Have you seen the state of your face?” York retorts with a smirk.
“Ha ha ha, you little prick! Do as Kid says and sit the fuck down.” Dax is chuckling now, and the sound warms my heart. I’ve felt so cold and alone for so long, and now I feel as though I’m beginning to thaw out just being with them all again like this.
“Nice to know you’ve all still got banter after the fucking night we’ve had. I don’t think I could face cleaning up another shitstorm,” Zayn says, climbing up the stairs. He’s carrying an overnight bag too and drops it to the floor as I rush for him.
“Zayn!”
“Hey, Pen.” He gives me a tired smile, then meets me in a couple of strides, grabs my face and kisses me stupid. After a long indulgent kiss, I break free from his hold then grab his hand and lead him to the table where the others are waiting for us to join them. Xeno is making coffee, avoiding the angry glares from Dax and Zayn. When he’s poured five mugs and added some milk, he places them on the table with a bowl of sugar and a spoon then takes a seat at the head of the table.
“How was the bath?” he asks, looking at me with guarded eyes.
“Relaxing, thank you.” I reach for his hand, squeezing gently, trying to reassure him that I meant what I said earlier. I have no regrets. Not one. He looks at my fingers wrapped around his palm then back up at me. I think he’s shocked at my outward show of affection around the others, not to mention my forgiveness. I’m not. This is it for me. This is the start of our new future and if we can’t show our love and affection in front of each other then when can we?
York whistles softly. “Fucking finally,” he says, giving me an encouraging smile when I meet his gaze. Thank God for York. “You know I’m pretty sure you two dancing together was the hottest form of foreplay I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. No wonder you stayed away from Titch for so long, man. You totally would’ve jizzed your pants if you’d allowed yourself to give in when we were younger,” he jokes, winking.
Dax snorts, and my cheeks flush.
Xeno, however, doesn’t crack a smile. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Jeez, take a fucking joke. Clearly you’re not at the bantering stage quite yet.” York rolls his eyes and leans back in his seat, taking a gulp of coffee but he smirks at me above the rim of the cup. He’s such a wind-up merchant and right now I adore him for trying to make light of a tenuous situation.
“Shame the rest of the fucking warehouse witnessed it too,” Zayn says pointedly, bringing the tentative truce crashing back to the ground. I would scowl at him if I didn’t want to make this any worse than it already is. Besides, he has a right to be angry. I can’t prevent him from feeling the way he does.
Dax grunts his agreement, folding his bulky arms across his chest. “Fucking stupid arse move.” He cuts a scathing look at Xeno. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I told you. I wasn’t.”
“What kind of explanation is that?!” Zayn cuts in. “Pen could’ve been killed!”
“Do you think I don’t know that?” Xeno exclaims. “Every time I shut my goddamn eyes; I see what could’ve happened to Tiny. To you all. I acted on impulse. It’s not an excuse, just a fact. I can’t change it. I won’t fuck up again. I give you my word.” Xeno gives me a meaningful look and my stomach tightens at the dangerous promise within them.
“What’s done is done,” York states, always the peacekeeper. “The Collector is dead. I call that a motherfucking win.”
“Where the fuck did you disappear to?” Zayn asks, ignoring York’s attempt at smoothing over the cracks.
“I guess we really are doing this now,” Xeno mutters.
“You better have a good explanation for disappearing for a week then wreaking havoc the second you’re back.” He swipes a hand over his face, trailing his gaze from our clasped hands back up to Xeno.
“You know why that had to happen,” Xeno retorts heavily. “Hudson and I intercepted—”
“Don’t fucking patronise us. We’re fully aware why last night went the way it did, but I’m talking about the fact you fucking disappeared for a week with no fucking word. Where the fuck were you?” Anger and hurt clear in Zayn’s gaze.
All three of them wait for an explanation, and I understand in that moment that Xeno’s absence cut a lot deeper than any of them care to admit. They’re not just angry with how Xeno handled things, but also because he left without a word.
“I was here,” Xeno admits.
“You were here? Fucking unbelievable,” Zayn shakes his head. “So whilst we were covering for you with Jeb, trying to stop Pen from losing her damn mind, you were chilling here without a care in the goddamn world? You fucking prick.”
“I deserve that.”
“You deserve a throat punch too,” Dax mutters, scowling. “I’m happy to oblige.”
“Hey! Enough. If I can forgive Xeno, you three sure as hell can,” I say, stepping in. “I’m sure he had his reasons for leaving the way he did, but he’s here now. We all are. That means something.” I smile, more tears welling in my eyes. “That means something to me. I have you back, all of you, and I will not let anger tear us apart again. I won’t.”
“Titch has a point,” York says looking at me with pride in his eyes. “I say we listen.”
I look between Dax and Zayn, both of them have their arms folded stubbornly across their chests. “I know you’re angry. You should’ve seen me earlier,” I say, a light laugh bursting out of my lips. Xeno glances at me and gives me a puzzled shake of his head, like he can’t believe how lucky he is to gain my forgiveness so easily. “But we’re beyond this now.”
“Agreed,” Dax grinds out. “But I swear to fuck, Xeno, I will kick your arse to Timbuktu if you ever put Kid’s life at risk like that again. Hear me?”
“I’m counting on it, brother,” Xeno responds, giving him a tight nod. “I need you to keep me in check. I need all of you to remind me every day what’s important. If that means a throat punch, or a kick up the arse, then I accept the punishment. I’ll fucking take it willingly.”
“Done.” Dax picks up his coffee and swallows a mouthful, some of the stress leaving his shoulders.
“Zayn?” I ask, watching him carefully. He seems the most reluctant to let go of his anger. I squeeze Xeno’s hand and get up, circling the table to reach him. “Zayn, I need you to look at me. Turn your chair around and face me,” I say, echoing those words I said to him that night at Grim’s club when Jeb offered me up as a prize. It has the desired effect, and he looks up at me with pain-filled eyes as he makes room for me. I step between him and the table, resting my arse on the edge.
“You really know how to hit where it hurts, Pen,” he says, swallowing hard.
“I’m just reminding you that we’re all capable of making mistakes. It’s how we deal with them after the fact that counts. It’s easy to hate, to hold onto anger. It’s far, far harder to forgive.”
Zayn sighs, pinching his nose. “Okay, but if that fucker walks out on us without a word one more time, I will throw a knife in his goddamn back and not even flinch.”
“Fair enough,” I hear Xeno say behind me.
I glance over my shoulder. My smile broadens when his gaze zeroes in on Zayn’s hands that have found my hips and are dragging me towards him. Xeno’s eyebrows pull together when Zayn hugs me close. There’s no mistaking the jealousy and propriety in his gaze, but he keeps himself in check. I’m thinking we’re going to need to discuss us as a fivesome and how we move forward from here. But I bench that thought for now. There’s only so much I can expect of them for one night and, honestly, I’m tired.
“Bed?” Zayn asks, drawing my attention back to him and reading my thoughts perfectly. He peers up at me from under a swathe of dark hair, and whilst the innuendo is clear, I can see the sheer exhaustion in his eyes.
“That sounds like a really, really good idea.”
Taking my hand in his, Zayn stands.
“Bagsy first,” York interrupts, winking at Zayn who laughs.
“You prick.”
“Don’t think you’re getting first dibs because you’re acting like a sensitive little bitch,” York says, standing too.
“Erm,” I mutter, not sure how to handle this situation. I glance at Dax who just grins.
“We’ve got all the time in the world, Kid. Take these two to bed. Me and Xeno need to talk through some business anyway.” He cuts a look at Xeno who presses his lips together in a tight line.
“Anything I can help with?” I ask, my gaze flicking to Xeno who is currently glaring at Zayn and York like he wants to do some damage.
“They love her too, Xeno. Let them be,” Dax says, resting his hand on Xeno’s arm.
“Yeah, man. I know,” Xeno replies nodding his approval. He looks at me then. “We just got things to discuss, nothing urgent that I can’t fill you in on later. Go rest. All of you,” Xeno says, reassuring me that there’ll be no more secrets between us.
“Would you look at that, are you sure this is the same Xeno we know and love?” York jokes, as
Zayn slides his arm around my back and presses a kiss against my temple. York flanks my other side, sliding his hand into mine. I daren’t look at him, because I just know he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face.
“You know, you could always come watch,” Zayn offers with a smirk.
“Fucking get out of here,” Xeno snaps, but we all see his lip twitching with mirth and that, that is just the kind of tonic we all need.
