I glance over Rhett’s email while latte drips into the takeout cup. There’s a link to a high-security server where Apollo’s uploaded some files containing Vaughn’s recent moves.
Nothing useful, but I guess Rhett wants me in the loop. I was supposed to call him last night with an update—not that there’s much to update him on—but Hailey stole my focus.
He can wait a little longer.
That’s not something I’d ever say about Dante, so when his name flashes on my screen, I answer immediately, balancing two coffees and a box of painkillers as I head out.
“Carter,” he denotes. “There’s been an—” He cuts himself off so abruptly I half-expect the call’s dropped, but when I check the screen, it’s ongoing.
“Dante?”
“I’m here,” he huffs, his tone hesitant. “Where are you?”
“Where I’m supposed to be: Lakeside. Why?”
Another thirty-second pause, nothing but faint clicking sounds in the background.
“Is everything alright?” I ask, entering the dorm building.
“Yes, Jackson’s sending you directions. Head over to Boston today and pick something up for me from Andres.”
My brows meet in the middle. Pick up is Rookie’s domain. He’s the driver, on the road all week, but I know better than to question my boss.
“Sure. Ping me the location. Am I delivering to Chicago?”
“Yes,” he says, weighing the word. It’s odd. Dante’s always decisive, but right now he sounds like he’s second-guessing himself. “It’s a twelve-hour drive, isn’t it?”
“More or less,” I agree, steadying Hailey’s coffee as it wobbles on top of mine.
“Meet me in Delta at nine tomorrow evening.”
“I’ll see you then.”
He cuts the call without another word. All and any questions this exchange would normally prompt evade my mind as I push my bedroom door open, squinting against the morning light creeping through the blinds.
The warm, bitter scent of coffee accompanies me, masking the smell of sex perfuming the air.
I glance at the bed where she’s still asleep, tangled in the sheets. She’ll be a sight when she opens her eyes. Instead of the cute, pillow-cuddling pose she slept in half an hour ago, she’s sprawled out, one arm dangling over the edge, her blonde hair no longer a silky waterfall but a knotted wild mess.
I set the tray on the nightstand, careful not to make much noise so she’ll sleep off the headache, but as I step back, she snaps upright. Her wide eyes meet mine, and she holds my gaze, a panic of self-consciousness in hers.
“Morning.” I snatch my coffee off the tray. “Sleep well?”
She looks around, probably checking where she is, then bolts out of bed, her confidence from last night gone as she sprints to the bathroom, taking the comforter with her.
“How’s your head, pretty girl?” I call out, rapping my knuckles against the door.
“Painful,” she mumbles, her voice tinged with a mix of frustration and embarrassment.
“I brought painkillers. Grab a shower and come out before your coffee gets cold.”
“Um… yeah, okay.”
The water starts running a moment later. I take a seat in the wingback chair, flipping through my emails and messages until the bathroom door inches opens.
Hailey’s still in my t-shirt, her hair wet, eyes rimmed pink, uncertainty clouding her features. “I’m sorry about last night.” She pads toward the nightstand, then chases two pills with coffee.
“Which part of last night are you sorry about?”
She doesn’t sit, squirming in place and wringing her hands. “I… I’m sorry that…” Her voice breaks a little, wiping the smirk clear off my face.
My pulse speeds up when frightened tears pool in her eyes.
“Hailey, what—”
“I’m sorry I fell asleep before we took care of you,” she finishes, her voice quivering with every word. Her lips pinch and she’s rigid with tension. “I don’t know when I drifted off… I can…” She looks up but snatches her eyes away when she catches me staring. “I’ll do it right now. I know it’s too late, but—”
She falls silent when I jerk to my feet, erasing the distance between us, my pulse whooshing in my ears.
“Look at me,” I say, and give her no choice, tilting her chin up. “You think I’m annoyed I didn’t get off?”
“You’re not?”
Surprisingly, not at all. Which is fucking bizarre given my past. In all my years I’ve never not finished.
Last night was my first time.
“Did I look pissed off before you started apologizing?”
Her brows furrow, two vertical creases marking her forehead. “No… I guess not.”
“I’m pissed off now. I’m fucking fuming, thinking about the selfish fuckers you were with before me.”
Fucking hypocrite.
True. I am a selfish bastard, but as it turns out, I am anything but where Hailey’s concerned.
“Never apologize for something like this again. Never. Is that clear?”
“Um… so… we’re okay?” She’s so fucking embarrassed even her ears are pink.
“Of course we’re okay.”
“And you’re not mad I came on to you?”
I take another step forward, crowding her by the wall. “You have no idea how hot that was. I only tried to get you off me because I thought you’d regret it.”
“I don’t…” She tugs the t-shirt, the move beckoning my eyes lower. Her pebbled nipples jab against the fabric, reminding me she’s bare underneath. “I wasn’t that drunk. I only had two beers, but I hadn’t eaten all day, so it hit me quick.”
“You need to put more clothes on,” I rasp as the burning, primal need to have her resurfaces.
The pink of her cheeks spills lower, colors her neck, and… my restraint dies a sad death. I press her against the wall, one hand grazing her thigh, reveling in her soft skin.
She holds my gaze, a dare in hers as my fingers vanish under her t-shirt. Her breathing hitches and lips part, spurring me on. I trace a path up the side of her thigh, higher and higher.
She’s hot from her shower, the heat of her skin warming my fingertips as I reach the spot where the elastic of her panties should be… but isn’t.
I inhale a sharp breath, dropping both hands. The arousal in her eyes fuels the addiction corrupting my veins, but last night wasn’t supposed to happen. As much as I want a replay while she’s sober, now’s not the time.
It will never be the time.
This is already too complicated. Too risky. She’s a piece in this game and I’m lying, manipulating, and using her every step of the way. She doesn’t deserve that, but there’s no other way.
“Don’t let me touch you,” I say without conviction. I don’t fucking mean it. Not one word. “I don’t have nearly enough restraint when you’re around, pretty girl. Push me away.”
In the grand scheme of things that impulse forcing me closer to her is irrelevant. It’s not a good enough reason to jeopardize my father’s freedom.
This addiction isn’t worth the inevitable war that Alex’s evidence ending up in the wrong hands would start. Finding that evidence is a priority. Just like containing this clusterfuck before it’s too late.
Getting this close to Hailey is not the way, but… my legs won’t budge. She doesn’t fight back, making it that much harder to retreat. Want battles inside me with a sense of higher purpose.
This is the wrong side of the fence.
If I give in, I’ll open a Pandora’s box. More danger, more threats, more lies, but caring about all the reasons why this shouldn’t be happening is almost impossible right now.
“Push me away,” I say again, my tone firmer, a clear order.
One she blatantly disobeys.
She doesn’t push me away. No, she fucking ruins me.
One hand on my face, her fingers brushing my cheekbone, the other on my neck and… her perfect lips catching mine.
I freeze while my thoughts race. This is it. The last nail to my coffin. One kiss. Barely a kiss at all, nothing in comparison to our make-out session on stage, but it tips the scales and that something beelining for hatred’s spot on the merry-go-round takes a seat.
Hailey pulls back slightly, taking in a shaky breath. She doesn’t go far. Barely an inch before I’m on her, sealing her mouth and tangling my fingers in her damp hair.
I part her lips, slipping my tongue inside, her sweetness overwhelming reality. Running on instinct, a slave to desire, I pin her to the wall with my body, and finally suck her bottom lip like I’ve imagined for weeks.
She lets out a soft moan, clinging to me harder and this kiss… this fucking kiss isn’t what I wanted thus far in life, but everything I’ll want going forth. It knocks the stage kiss out of the park. There’s no pretending here. No anger, just pure passion.
Her tongue tangles with mine, sinking deeper and fuck if a kiss with this girl doesn’t taste like everything that’s good with this fucked-up world.
We both grow hungrier, tasting, teasing, taking as much as we can while our lips work in sync until her teeth nip my bottom lip. She tugs lightly, leaning back against the wall, releasing me slowly, her eyes sparkling.
“Sorry,” she breathes, without an echo of regret. “I couldn’t wait for your move any longer.”
I shut her up with another kiss, hauling her into my arms only to drop her on the bed. My body covers hers instantly, and I resume the greedy kiss.
I’m gone.
Rational thinking be damned.
Nothing exists outside this bubble. Nothing exists outside this kiss. Hailey’s all I feel. All I want.
She wraps her arms around me, holding me close like she can’t bear any space between us. I can relate. There’s a hunger inside me that wants more, more, more… all of her.
She smells like my shower gel, tastes like mint, and she’s wet. I feel where she’s soaked my t-shirt in the five seconds it took to haul her up and lay her down.
“I need to see you come again.” I grip her under her arms, scooting her further up the bed. “And I need your taste on my tongue when you do.”
She doesn’t protest, a lick of arousal flaring her stormy blues as I skim my fingers along her hips, pushing the fabric of her tee higher. Pale, milky skin uncovers, inch by fucking inch. I purposely take my time, drawing out the moment, feasting on her body until I reach the prize and see her bare.
Her pussy lips come to view first. Perfect, pale pink, her clit a tiny button begging to be pressed, and a line of dark blonde hair. Last night, in the dimly lit room while she rode me, it looked much darker.
“Fuck,” I groan, dropping a kiss above the narrow strip. “Such a pretty girl…” I kiss her there again, making her squirm.
“This isn’t fair,” she complains, deliciously breathless. “I had an orgasm last night and you—”
“Had one this morning in the shower.”
Her eyes grow wider. “You… you did that while I slept?”
“I did what, Hailey?” I keep pushing her tee higher, uncovering her stomach and higher still, until the swell of her breasts plays peek-a-boo with me.
“Made yourself come,” she whispers on a soft sigh when I dip my head, kissing a line up her sternum before I veer left, taking her puckered nipple between my teeth.
I bite, suck, then lick, easing the sting, drunk on how responsive she is. Her back arches when I inch away, and she pushes her breast close to my mouth again, begging for more.
“I did,” I answer her question, letting my warm breath fan her nipple. “I fucked my hand thinking about you. How you rode me last night, how wet your pussy was for me, those sweet noises you made…” I punctuate the words with a lick or a kiss, making amends for the hate-filled jerk-off, apologizing with gestures, even though she won’t ever know how hard I fought to hate her. “How gorgeous you looked when you came all over me…”
She lets out a shaky breath, grasping thick tangles of my hair, and snaps her arms flush with her boobs, squeezing them together. I lick the valley, kiss her neck, then along her throat before we’re eye level, my body covering hers.
“You’ll show me again.” I nudge her nose with mine, coaxing her to look at me. “You’ll show me those blown pupils, pink cheeks, and parted lips, and you’ll let me hear your moans while I lick you clean. I’ve been wondering what you taste like since I saw you sitting on the boat platform.”
“Only if I can return the favor later.”
“You can’t. Not until you understand this isn’t an exchange, pretty girl. Until I know you’ve learned to take without thinking you need to give back, you’ll orgasm over…” I kiss her collarbones, moving back to where I started, “…and over…” I cup her breasts, playing her nipples with my thumbs as I drag my lips down the way I came, “…and over again.”
She squirms when my breath fans her clit. Giving her no time to come up with another clever retort, I hook my elbows under her knees, spread her open and feast.
A low groan vibrates my chest at the first taste. She’s dripping wet, tender, and swollen as if she already came a few times. She hasn’t, she’s just…
“So fucking needy,” I tut, sucking her clit into my mouth.
She lets out a whimper—music to my ears—her nails biting into my scalp. “God, this feels good.”
“Tastes even better,” I mutter, diving back down for another unhurried taste. “It’s nine in the morning. If you’re too loud, I’ll cover your mouth with my hand.”
Normally, I don’t give a flying fuck if anyone overhears the women I fuck screaming their brains out.
That’s not the case with Hailey. It will never be the case with her. The carelessly possessive, territorial part of me born overnight kicks up a riot in my head at the thought of letting anyone listen. Her gasps, whimpers and moans are for my ears only.
“I’ll be quiet,” she promises, staring down the length of her goosebump-covered body. “I promise.”
“Good girl. Only I can listen to you.”
“Only you,” she sighs, arching back when I come down on her clit like a savage, using my best tricks to get her off. “Oh, God…” she whisper-shouts, moving her hands from my head to fist the sheets. “It won’t take long.”
She moans again, louder the closer she gets. Just like last night. The incoming orgasm seems to overwhelm her so much she doesn’t realize how noisy she is.
That’s good. It means she’s lost in the moment, focused on the high, on how fucking good she feels rather than wondering if she’s too loud. I unhook her right leg, dragging my hand up her hot body until I clasp her mouth, never breaking the relentless tempo of my tongue toying with her clit.
Her cheeks run red, the baby hairs at her hairline dampen with sweat. Our eyes lock, the sudden awkwardness in hers fading faster than it appears when she sees me between her legs.
Looks like she finds the sight as arousing as I find her.
“Give it to me, Hailey,” I whisper, licking between her slick lips as I replace my tongue with my thumb.
I move it side to side, barely any pressure on her clit, just enough so the swollen button glides under my fingertip. That’s all it takes.
She comes… hard. So fucking hard she bites my palm that can’t quite muffle her gasps. Her hips arch when I put my mouth back on her, sucking and licking her clean.
“Gorgeous,” I tut. “Fucking beautiful.”
I lift my gaze, openly staring at her face and this… this is the moment I never wanted to experience. The moment I hoped wouldn’t come while I used women for my own pleasure.
It snuck up on me today. I didn’t see it coming. Not like this. Not now and not ever, but the way my chest constricts with the need to see her fall apart in my arms again is a clear sign that this is the moment.
The moment I realize I’m owned, and I want to own.
That’s a fucking problem if I ever saw one, given that I’m lying through my teeth and using her for personal gain. A fucking hypocrite given that I want to dig up Alex and hang his corpse for doing the exact same thing to my sister.
I don’t deserve Hailey.
But that won’t stop me from keeping her.
“Nash?” she sighs softly, her fingers knotting behind my head, a silent plea for me to move up.
“Yeah, pretty girl?”
“I’m think I’m catching feelings.”
I’m way ahead of you.
