arms. He was kissing and sucking my neck, humming against my skin. At first, I kept my eyes closed, blissful in the state between asleep and fully awake. His lips were so soft, but when he sucked, my toes curled.
“Mmm…I like mornings with you,” I murmured.
“Yeah?” He latched on to my pulse, sucking a little harder, at the same time his hand slipped between my thighs. Bare from the waist down, he had nothing impeding him, and he took advantage, dipping into my opening with a warm finger, swirling around my clit with another.
He made me come within minutes, before I had ever opened my eyes. Then he curled around my back, holding me close, sliding inside me.
“You like that?” he asked softly. “Do you like waking to me kissing you? Getting my cock inside you before you leave the bed?”
“Yeah.” I took his hand from my belly and kissed his fingertips. “This is perfect.”
“We could have this, mama. All the time.”
I twisted my head around to find him staring down at me intently. Reaching up, I ran my fingers along his scruffy cheek. “We will.”
He didn’t reply. Instead, he shoved his face in my neck and rolled my body so I was almost on my front. His mouth latched to the curve of my neck, biting and sucking while he moved faster inside me. I let myself sink into the feel of him and block all the rest out. I’d wanted this moment, dreamed about him holding me, touching me, kissing me, since he held me captive. Now that I had it, and the reality of Amir and me together was a hundred times better than anything I could have imagined, I wasn’t going to overthink and ruin it.
The way he moved inside me made it impossible to think coherently anyway.
He may not have been happy with my choices, but he treated my body like a treasure. Any self-consciousness I should have had rightly felt fell away with my thoughts. His tightly muscled body riding my rounded curves was the most carnal feeling in the world. He kept kissing me, grinding into me, rolling my nipples around between his fingers, murmuring sweet, filthy words in my ear, and I was a trembling wreck. I said his name, he answered with mine.
The end came quietly, but no less consuming. We held tight to each other, staying attached for as long as we could before he had to pull out. I turned over, watching him pad to the attached bathroom. I hadn’t thought I was into men’s butts before I saw Amir’s. His was tight, round, and dimpled on the sides. If I didn’t think he’d go ballistic, I’d bite it.
Hmmm…maybe I’d chance it one day.
He came back wearing a pair of basketball shorts, stopping at my side of the bed. He trailed his fingers along my breasts and stomach, dipping one in my belly button.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Early. Thought you’d want to sneak back to your dorm.”
I caught his hand before he could wander between my legs. “That was surprisingly thoughtful considering you didn’t want me to leave last night.” I pushed my borrowed shirt down and sat up, smoothing my palms along his bare sides. “Did I kick you while I was sleeping? Hog the covers? Snore?”
He grinned, pushing my hair back from my face. “I don’t know. I had the best night of sleep I’ve had in…I don’t know. A really long time.” He nudged my chin with his knuckle. “I don’t want you leaving, but I’ll let you this time.”
I held back from rolling my eyes. “That’s magnanimous of you, Amir.” I kissed his stomach, then pressed my cheek to his warm skin. “That night of sleep changed you.”
I felt his laughter through the muscles in his stomach. “Come on, funny girl. I’m taking you home before I change my mind.”
Like every Sunday morning, Elena was on our couch, reading the newspaper, her ankles crossed on the coffee table. It was her one habit that didn’t fit anything I knew about her, but she had done it almost every morning we’d lived together. When I had asked, she said she’d been reading the paper with her father since childhood. Back then, it was the comics, now the financial section was her favorite.
She lowered the paper when I opened the door. “Hmmm.”
“Good morning,” I whispered.
“No need to whisper, you floozy. Helen’s at Theo’s.”
I sank onto the love seat opposite her. “I’m not…I didn’t…”
Her eyes raked over me in last night’s rumpled dress with Amir’s T-shirt slung on top, stopping on my neck. “Hmmm.”
“Elena—”
She folded the paper, set it down beside her, and scooted forward, bracing her elbows on her knees. “Please don’t lie to me. Tell me you won’t answer, but don’t lie. Your neck is covered in hickeys.” My hand flew to the side of my neck. Crap, I hadn’t even looked. “And you’re wearing a man’s T-shirt. Not to mention you didn’t sleep here last night. If you try to tell me you fell and hit your head and neck, got temporary amnesia, and spent the night in the hospital, I’ll be very disappointed.”
My mouth twitched despite being caught red-handed. “I spent the night with the guy I’m seeing, but it’s new, so…”
Her head bobbed. “Noted. I’m happy you’re getting laid. Every girl deserves a good dicking now and then.”
My teeth dug into my bottom lip. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her it was Amir. But then I remembered how pissed she’d been when she found out about our whole Go situation last semester and decided to hold off. I wasn’t ready for our bubble to burst.
“It was really good,” I agreed.
She patted my knee. “I’m happy for you, but I’m also seething with jealousy since my sex life is beyond pitiful. How about we don’t go into detail, okay? I’m two seconds from saying fuck it, shaving the back of my head, and learning to love eating pussy. The orgasms have to be better when they’re coming from a woman, right?”
My eyes went round. I had no answer to that. Fortunately, she didn’t want one, picking up her paper and moving back into position like it had never happened. I took that opportunity to escape to my room.
The first thing I did was go in the bathroom and inspect the damage Amir had done. I gasped at the reflection of my bruise-mottled neck. Amir’s sweet kisses didn’t seem quite so sweet anymore.
I snapped a picture and texted it to him.
Me: Why?
MyCaptor: Pretty.
Me: This isn’t nice. The whole side of my neck is black and blue. I bruise really easily.
MyCaptor: I’ll remember that next time. Did I hurt you?
Me: You didn’t. You annoyed me.
MyCaptor: Annoyed I can live with. Hurt, nah, not so much.
Me: I’m not hurt. I’m going to shower. Xoxo
MyCaptor: XXX
“If you keep staring at me, I’m going to think you want to fuck.”
My teeth dug into my bottom lip to hold back a grin. Amir was studying, and I was too…sort of. It was hard to concentrate when he smelled so good and the sun streaming in through the kitchen window hit his bare chest, highlighting the golden tones of his skin. And when he glowered at me over his textbook, he got a spark in his midnight eyes that reminded me of the North Star.
“I want you to study.” I closed my book. “I know how difficult Krasinski’s class is.”
He nodded to my book. “And you’re not studying anymore? You’re going to sit there and distract me?”
I snarled at him. He chuckled. I’d yet to figure out how to intimidate this man, but that was okay. I didn’t really want to.
“I need to stretch my legs. I can’t think if I sit for too long.”
Normally, if I was engrossed enough, I could study for hours without moving. But nothing was more interesting to me than Amir. Luckily for me, he was a much better student than I was. Instead of going to the library during the week, I’d taken to coming to his house. Julien and Marco were usually out, so it was quiet. Just the two of us. Alone, with lots of beds and flat surfaces and perfect sunlight.
I never thought it would turn out that I was the problem.
Amir ignored me while I stared. At least…I thought he was ignoring me until his shoulders started shaking.
“What’s wrong?”
He put his book down, laughing silently. “You, mama. You keep looking at me. Weren’t you going to take a walk? Stretch your legs?”
“Can I play the piano?”
That was my second favorite thing about coming to Amir’s house. The first was pretty damn obvious since I was mildly obsessed with him.
The piano belonged to Julien, and he had no trouble sharing it with me. That was…after he’d watched me play and deemed me fit enough to use his prized possession.
He cupped his forehead. “Zadie…I want to say yes to every fucking thing you ask, but I really need the quiet for now. Why don’t you go watch TV in my room for an hour? Then I’ll give you as much attention as you want.”
“Fine.” Lifting his hand to my mouth, I nibbled his index finger. “I’m going to check in with my mom.”
His brows rose. “Nothing?”
Officer Ryder was continuing to be less than helpful. If not for Max’s illness, I didn’t doubt my mom would have flown up to Oregon to do her own investigating.
“We’ll see.” I held up my phone. “I’ll be in your room. Take your time. I’ll just be snooping through your things.”
His laughter followed me out of the kitchen.
I flopped back on his bed, texting with my mom for updates. Ryder had told her Drew’s parents were giving him the runaround, but he would be “following up.” My mom wouldn’t leave him be until he did, that was for sure. The upside was I hadn’t received any more notes, and nothing like the library incident had happened again. That didn’t mean I wasn’t still on edge any time I wasn’t with Amir or my friends. Since Drew, there hadn’t been a time where I’d ever fully relaxed.
I must’ve dozed off, because the next thing I was aware of was Amir’s mouth on my jaw, working his way to my neck.
“No hickeys,” I mumbled.
“Mmm.” He had me trapped beneath him, holding my arms over my head. “Sleepy, mama?”
I opened my eyes to his and shook my head. “Not anymore.”
He sat back on his knees and flipped my skirt up around my waist. My panties came off easily after that. He placed my legs on either side of his knees, spreading me wide. Then he looked. His eyes raked over my core, studying me like a piece of art.
I started to reach for him, but something black on my arm stopped my movement.
Amir. Amir. Amir’s girl. Property of Amir. Amir. Amir.
His name was down the length of my inner forearm in stark black. In small letters and large, he’d branded me.
“What is this?” I asked. “Tell me this isn’t Sharpie.”
His fingers slipped inside me, making me gasp. “It’s Sharpie.”
I held up my other arm, but all he’d drawn on that one was a small heart with an A in the center.
“What did you do?”
He curled his fingers, hitting that spot on my inner walls that made my eyes roll back. And they did, because I couldn’t help it, but I tried to squeeze my legs closed to push him out of me. Amir kept up his treatment, caressing me from the inside, adding his thumb to my clit from the outside.
“Stop it,” I whispered. “I can’t believe you.”
“Really? You can’t believe me?”
My eyes shot open. My glare would have had more impact if I hadn’t been panting. Or maybe not. Amir didn’t find me intimidating in the least.
“Why?”
“Because,”—shifting, he braced one hand beside my head until he was over me again—“my beautiful, sweet, angel of a girlfriend likes to walk around campus like she isn’t taken. She likes to go to sleep at night without me. She’s mine, but no one knows it.”
He thrust his fingers in and out of me. There was no anger behind his words or the way he touched me. Amir was bringing me to pleasure even while he was disappointed in me.
“I don’t like any of those things,” I protested weakly. “I know I’m yours.”
“That’s right, mama, you are mine. You fell asleep in my bed today. When I lay my head on that pillow tonight, I’m going to be smelling your shampoo, missing your fucking soft little body next to mine. I’m sending you home with my name on your arm so you don’t forget, because I never do.”
He dipped to run his tongue along the curve of my bottom lip and groaned.
“Sweet, even when she’s angry,” he murmured.
My thighs clenched as pressure built in my belly. If he wanted to make me come, I’d take it. There was no going back now anyway. He wouldn’t stop, and my body would murder me if I tried to make him.
My hips rose and fell with his fingers sliding, curling, driving into me. Lips parted, I panted his name, “Amir, Amir, Amir.”
And then…he stopped.
My eyes flipped open.
He smirked down at me, withdrawing his fingers. “Tell me when.”
“I don’t know.” I rubbed my thighs together, but it wasn’t enough. “Soon.”
From his subtle flinch, I knew that answer wasn’t enough either. He’d given me more than a week, but I wasn’t there yet. I didn’t want to see Elena and Helen’s faces when they discovered I’d been keeping this secret.
Amir’s nose trailed over mine as he sighed. “Do you know how beautiful you looked when I walked in here and found you sleeping? So incredibly beautiful, it hit me in the gut. All I could think was how much you’re mine. You won’t let me claim you the way I want, so I claimed you like a toy, Zadie. You’ve got my name all over you so the other kids know you belong to me. That’s how out of my mind you drive me.”
“I’m unequivocally yours, Amir.”
But that also wasn’t enough. I didn’t have the words to reassure him. I’d shown him over and over how strongly I felt for him, but I hadn’t done the one thing he’d asked. I would, and soon, but just…not yet.
He fell back on the bed with a sigh, and I followed, kneeling between his legs.
“Zadie.” He drew my name out like a curse.
He was hard beneath his sweatpants. I freed him, pulling them down around his hips, and slid my palm up his length. He rocked into my hand, the tip already leaking. Gathering the moisture in my hand, I rubbed it into his skin, all the way to the root and back up again.
“I’m yours, Amir.”
Dropping down, I took him in my mouth. His fingers automatically tangled in the sides of my hair, pushing it away from my face so he could watch me. He always, always watched me, just as I watched him when he was between my thighs. This was more than quick and dirty pleasure, though I wasn’t denying it was that too. This was connecting on a level words couldn’t touch. I was showing him how important he was to me. Setting his pleasure center stage and reveling in giving it to him. This was just for us. Not a show for anyone else. What happened here was between Amir and me, and it was all that mattered.
His length slid along my tongue, as deep in my throat as I could take him. Amir let me set the pace and depth, rocking with me, but never pushing. Because he pushed me a lot, but never when I was giving him this, which only made me want to do it even more. And I wanted to do it a lot. I loved the way he felt in my mouth, the sounds he made, how surprised he was each and every time I let him finish in the back of my throat.
Amir grunted, reached down for me, grabbed me by the hips, and flipped me around. I was straddling his face before I knew what was happening. He lapped at me, making feral sounds when my taste hit his tongue.
“Oh god, I’m close.”
“Put me back in your mouth. We’re coming together this time.” His fingers dug into my flesh, pulling me down on his lips.
I bent forward, taking him in my mouth again. It was messy this time, my rhythm erratic. He was distracting me, bringing me back to the edge, and from his jerky movements, he was getting close too.
We kissed and licked and worshiped each other until we were tumbling, tumbling. Amir spilled on my tongue, and I fell apart on his lips. As soon as we were both done, he gathered me in his arms and crushed his mouth to mine. Then he rolled out of bed, tugged up his pants, and walked out of the room.
Oh no. He was so mad at me. I ran my fingertip along his name on my arm. Tears pricked the back of my eyes. Before they could fall, he was back, carrying a bottle and a bag of cotton balls.
He climbed on the bed, poured the rubbing alcohol on the cotton ball, and held his hand out. “Give me your arm.”
I complied, and he wiped the cotton ball over each Amir, erasing them from my skin. My heart thudded in my chest with each one that disappeared. He was concentrating, wiping the ink away with meticulous care. When my arm was blank again, he reached for the other one, but I jerked back, holding it to my chest.
He raised his head, brow furrowed. “One more.”
“No.” I touched my thumb to the small heart with the A in the center. “I’m keeping this one.”
“Okay.” He screwed the lid on the bottle and reached behind him to place it on his bedside table. Back against the headboard, he looked down at me sprawled in his bed. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Written on me?”
“No.” He took my arm, rubbing this thumb on the lone heart. “Erased them.”
I sat up and straddled his legs. “You did because you take care of me.”
He grabbed two handfuls of my ass and planted me over his cock so we were chest to chest. “You take care of me too. You just drive me crazy. I’m not going to be patient forever.”
“I know you won’t, but I appreciate you being patient with me now.” I nibbled his chin, followed by a kiss on his lips. “I really, really appreciate it.”
He exhaled through his nose, fingers toying with the curled ends of my hair. “Did you talk to your mom?”
“Yes, and no news.”
His brow went heavy over his dark eyes. “I don’t like that shit. They don’t take this seriously, do they?”
“Not really. They were more concerned with the growing meth problem than me. They only took action the last time when I woke up to Drew in my bedroom. That was after almost a year of him watching me and following me.”
And even then, he’d gotten a slap on the wrist and counseling. That and a restraining order were all he’d had to answer for a year of terror.
“Fuck.” He drew me closer, if that was possible.
“I’m not scared. Not right now.” I draped my arms around his shoulders. “How did studying go? I’m afraid to ask if you need help.”
He narrowed his eyes on me. “Any shit I said to you that first week gets thrown out. I was out of my head having you in my space.”
“It’s forgotten. Now, tell me about Krasinski. Is his class still as close to going through boot camp as I remember?”
Amir talked to me about his classes, the internship he was going to ask Dr. Krasinski to write him a recommendation for, the paper he was writing. I told him about the final paper I wrote for that class, the one I got a ninety on, the highest grade Krasinski had ever given on a final paper. He told me he was going to take me down, but I heard the pride behind his teasing.
For that space of time, I felt like a normal college girl, falling hard for her boyfriend. Her hot, caring, smart as hell boyfriend. Then he dropped me off at the dorm. I slinked out of his truck only when I was sure no one I knew was around to see, and it all came tumbling back.
Amir was still all those things, but he was also all the bad Helen and Elena would inevitably point out. But Amir and I were getting to a solid place where I could truly defend my choice to be with him if I needed to. I hoped it wouldn’t come to that. That my friends would accept my happiness at face value.
If they didn’t, I would fight, to keep Amir, but to keep them as well.
I just wasn’t confident I wouldn’t lose.
