in a dorm and vowed never again. Even with how cushy the suites were at Savage U, I’d been claustrophobic.
But once Zadie let me into her room, I had no desire to leave. Then again, her room contained her. It smelled like her, and everything was soft and girly…like her.
We’d spent the day kissing and talking and quietly fucking. One of her suitemates left food for us by the door, so we ate, kissed, fucked, and talked some more.
She showed me the last poem she had received, more than two weeks ago. This time, someone had bastardized an Eminem song. I was beginning to think, and Zadie was too, these poems were from some kid with a crush. Some socially awkward geek thought my girl would be impressed by pitiful love notes.
It was late, near midnight, and I was starving. “Is there any food in that little kitchen out there?”
“There’s some snacks.” She ran her palm along my stomach. “Are you hungry? Do you want me to go get you something?”
“I’m good. I’ll find something to eat. You look too good in that bed for me to let you out.”
She was comfortable here, even sweeter than she normally was. That might’ve been because we’d broken down most of the walls between us.
I wandered out into the quiet living area to the minuscule kitchen, opening cupboards. They had one stocked with snacks, and I grabbed some granola bars. My stomach was going to be eating itself by morning, but I wasn’t going anywhere until the sun rose.
I found a bottle of water in the fridge, stacking it on top of the granola bars. I turned to go back to Zadie’s room and found Helen standing in her own doorway, arms folded over her chest.
“You should let her go.”
I set the bars and water down and mimicked her stance. “Not an option. And not your business. She’s not a child. She can make her own decisions.”
Helen stalked across the small living space, stopping a foot from me. “Zadie isn’t a child. She’s an incredibly intelligent woman. She’s also good. I don’t know many good people, and I have a feeling you don’t either.” Her fingers curved into a claw near her middle. “I have this instinct to preserve that goodness because it’s so rare. But you…well, you’re going to suck it away. Because I know you, dude. You might like her and want her, but when it comes down to it, you’re a leech. You’re going to suck and suck her goodness out until you’re fat with it and she’s a shell.”
“That’s what you think?”
Her eyes narrowed. “That’s what I know. I’m not going to let you do it, you know.”
I clicked my tongue. “You’re so wrong.”
“Am I? I don’t think so. But let me tell you this: if you in any way hurt her or cause her harm because of the way you choose to live your life, I will burn your goddamn house down. And I mean that both literally and metaphorically.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to Zadie.” I swiped a hand across my jaw. “I appreciate your concern for her, which is why I’m going to let the threat you just laid down slide. But just because I’m with your friend does not mean you have a free pass to disrespect me. You need to think before you speak to me.”
She rolled her eyes and slowly raised her middle finger. “Get over yourself, Amir.”
I couldn’t even hold back the laugh that burst out of me. “Get the fuck out of here, Helen.”
“You’re in my suite, dick.”
“That’s right.” I scooped up my snacks and water. “And I have a girl waiting for me. Nice catching up.”
Zadie was sitting on the edge of the bed when I came back to her, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, asking me a question with her big blue eyes.
I tossed the granola bars and water to the side to cup her head and tilt it back. Every time I looked at her face, at the way round and soft played with smooth and angled, I got caught up in her. It was a true fact, I’d never seen anyone prettier than Zadie. After a day in her room, no makeup, only a little sleep, she still looked like this. Sexy, pretty, sweet…fucking everything.
“No worries, mama. Helen was just explaining how it is.”
“How is it?”
“You have a good friend.”
I pushed her back on the bed and crawled over her, caging her body with mine. But it felt like I was the one who was caged. My skin was two sizes too small, my insides restless, pacing, needing, always fucking needing around her.
“Take your clothes off.”
Her lips fell open. “Again?”
“Open your legs. I need to eat.”
I sat back on my knees, giving her room to slip her T-shirt over her head. Since that was all she had on, she was naked in seconds, legs open for me.
The first time, I’d asked her to show me her universe, and she had. But it was mine now. I was the colonizer who saw pretty, bare land and claimed it as my own. Those pretty, puffy pussy lips were the door to my kingdom. I got down on my belly to explore my newfound home.
She was slick under my lips. Hot and sensitive, her hips rose to meet me at first contact.
“Amir…oh god, I don’t think I can come again, baby.”
I flicked my tongue on her clit, which had already swelled up so nicely for me. “I need you to do it for me, mama. This is going to be my orgasm. I need it. Are you going to deprive me of something I need?” I licked her clit again, and she shuddered.
She lifted her head to watch me between her legs. My girl surprised me with how much she liked to watch me work. Her delicate fingers threaded through my hair. Our eyes connected as I opened my mouth to suck on her pussy lips the way she liked. She might have thought she couldn’t come again, but I knew this body. I knew what she could take. The tremble that shook her over from head to toe told me how right I’d been.
I kept my eyes on her while I ate her, feasted on her, sucked up the sweet nectar that leaked from her and ran down her folds. Her eyes stayed open until the very end, then she was holding my head against her with both hands, her thighs squeezing, her spine arching as she came apart at the seams.
She was still shaking when I flipped her over, gripping her hips to draw them up. She tucked her knees under her, offering herself to me, and I gladly accepted, sliding into her heat for the fourth time that day. It might as well have been the first. I had to stop, get hold of myself, gain control.
“Fuck, mama. Fuck, how do you feel so good? When I’m with you, inside you, I lose myself. It’s like my first time.”
She rocked her hips, drawing me impossibly deeper. “Move,” she mewled. “Please?”
Sweat beaded on my forehead as I reined in my desire to go hard and fast and pump her full of my seed. I looked down, but that was a mistake. The sight of Zadie’s plump ass and hips spread out nearly sent me over the edge. There was no end to my desire. Having her the first time had cracked open a plastered wall, revealing a bottomless well of need. It went on and on. Maybe one day I’d be sated, but for now, I was nowhere near that point.
“This ass…” I smoothed my palms along her exaggerated curves to her breasts, cupping them. “These tits…” and down to her dripping cunt, rounding my fingers on her clit. “This fucking delicious pussy…”
“I need you,” she breathed.
“That’s all you have to say.” I rocked forward and retreated, even though pulling out, even by a few inches, went against my every instinct when it came to her. Then I thrust forward, enveloped in her impossibly hot and soft walls, and all was right.
Using my thumbs, I spread her cheeks to watch myself plunge in and out of her. My cock was coated with her pleasure, all shiny and slick. She let me take her raw, the only woman I’d ever wanted to go there with, and there was no going back for me. Nothing would ever come between us.
“Tell me how it looks.” She pushed back so when I thrust, we collided in a loud slap. “Tell me what you’re seeing.”
“You’re wet, mama. So, so wet, you’re dripping all over my cock.” I rubbed a thumb over her other tightly closed hole. “I like this, it’s so tempting. You want me to take you here?”
I dipped down, only entering her with the tip of my thumb. She pushed against me harder, releasing a low moan.
“Yeah, you like that, don’t you? You like the idea of me owning every hole?”
She moaned again in response, her fingers curling to grip the sheets.
“Yeah, you like that.” We’d talk about it until we were both there, then I’d follow through. I’d own Zadie because she damn sure owned me.
Sliding my hand up her spine, I gripped her nape, the other hand holding her hip. I’d talked us both into a frenzy. My smooth plunges became frantic, hard thrusts. She answered by rearing back, her ass slapping against my hips.
She whimpered as her walls fluttered and clamped down, sucking me in so deep, my choices were taken from me. The only thing I could do was unload, painting her insides with my seed.
Knees giving out, she collapsed onto the mattress, and I followed, half on her back, half on the bed.
She threw a granola bar at me, glancing off my shoulder.
“That wasn’t very nice.” I touched my lips to her nape. “Didn’t I make you feel good?”
Turning her head, she peeked at me from one eye. “You have drained me dry. I have nothing else to give.”
Her words were uncomfortably close to Helen’s, and they dug into my brain. “I think it was you draining me.”
She shifted to her side so we were face to face and trailed her fingers along my hairline.
“We’re good, you know.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“We have time. We don’t have to fit it all in in one day.”
“You think that’s what I’ve been doing today?”
“I don’t know.” She pressed her palm to my chest. “I’m not complaining. I guess I was feeling it too. I mean, I always feel like I want you to fling me into bed.” I grinned wide, and she shoved my mouth gently. “But that was heightened today, right?”
“Right. And for the fucking record, I always want to fling you into bed. Or against the wall. Or over the back of the couch.”
She pushed on my lips again.
“What did Helen say to you?”
“She was being protective. Telling me you’re too good for me. Everything I already know.”
Zadie’s mouth twisted to the side. “Can I tell you a story so you might understand a little about me, then you’ll stop wondering why I hate you saying you’re not good enough or I’m too good?”
“Please tell me a story, little mama. I always want to understand you better.”
With a long exhale, she began. “My mother had an affair with Max for six months before she left my dad.”
My brows shot up. “For real? Felicity?”
She nodded. “My parents were miserable at the end. When everything with Drew happened, instead of turning to each other, they turned away. My dad smoked weed, researched guns, stalker laws, vigilantism…he let the situation consume him. I don’t know if my mom even tried to get to him. She leaned on Max, though. He was her college boyfriend, her first love. I don’t know why they broke up back then, but I don’t think the feelings ever went away. Anyway, they started an affair, he came up to Oregon, she traveled to California, and my dad spiraled. I don’t even know if my mom was hiding where she was going, you know? I guess she got consumed too.”
“Aw, fuck. Were you angry at her?”
She bit her bottom lip, taking her time to answer. “I was at first. Of course I was. Our family was already broken, and she’d shattered us. But my dad, he didn’t fight for her. He accepted she was leaving with barely any reaction. And I…well, I met Max and saw them together.”
“Yeah?”
“It was the first time I really saw my mom as a whole person. Not just my mother or my dad’s wife, you know? I saw she was human, that she’d had a life before me, a life outside of me, and would continue to have a life when I left home. She messed up—god, did she mess up. I don’t like what she did to my dad, but I don’t like what he did to her by pulling away. The thing is, even though I’ll never understand why either of them responded to my crisis the way they did, I love them. They’re human and fallible, but they love and adore me. They’ve always been devoted to me as my parents.”
“They hurt you.”
“Yeah.” She kissed my chin, then my lips. “They hurt me, but that’s human too, isn’t it?”
“Not if I can help it.”
She laughed softly. “Well, you can’t. I’m going to be hurt because it’s part of life. You hurt me, I hurt you, but we’re better for it. When you were my captor, you scared me until you didn’t. Until I saw you as a person and not just the man with the gun. I don’t like what you do, I don’t agree with it, and I think you’re way too smart to lower yourself the way you do, but that doesn’t make me better than you. It also doesn’t make me think less of you. People mess up. They mess up over and over. That doesn’t change who they are. They are not the sum of their mistakes. I still love my mom, I love my dad, and now I’ve grown to love Max and Eli like family. And I—”
She clamped her mouth shut, but her cheeks were glowing red. I wanted to hear what she’d stopped herself from saying, but I let it go for now. She’d already said a lot.
“You’re a good girl, Zadie Night.” I tugged her against my chest, enclosing her in my arms. Like always, I had an urge to keep her trapped with me and never let her go.
“You’re not the villain you think you are, Amir Vasquez.” She patted my chest. “But that’s not the point. I’m telling you I’m just as flawed as you and my parents. My mother betrayed my dad, but I’ve chosen to look past it for selfish reasons. By all rights, I should be angry at her, I shouldn’t accept Max, but I do, and it didn’t take long for it to happen.”
“Zadie…”
This girl really had no idea. She thought she was flawed because she forgave her mother. The mother who adored her. God, Drew had done a mindfuck on her. He’d warped her perspective so much, she didn’t see straight. If I could have taken a table saw to his other hand, I would have. That motherfucker didn’t deserve to have any extremities.
“And you, Amir…I’ve chosen to look past things with you I never could have imagined myself looking past, also for selfish reasons. Because I want you, and I had to give up everything I wanted for too long.”
I took her face in my hands. The prettiest fucking face in the world. “You don’t have to give me up.”
If she ever thought she had to, I would find a way to rewind the world again and again until she changed her mind. Zadie giving me up wasn’t a possibility. Not now.
She scrunched her nose. “I just told you I’m not going to.”
Zadie might not have thought I was a villain. Perhaps that was debatable, and I sure as hell hoped I was redeemable. But the fact was, I wasn’t a misunderstood bad boy with a heart of gold. It was gray at best, and only beat for a handful of people.
Right now, it was thundering for Zadie.
“Not gonna give you up either, mama.”
