My life finds a weirdly normal pattern.
It’s all so freaking strange to notice the mundane patterns that start to take over. Studying with Sage, going to classes with Gabe as my shadow, dying during my TT classes, and sitting at the table in North’s mansion in an uncomfortable silence during the torturous dinners. I’m not at all complacent about trying to get the hell out of this place but when I wake up every day and know exactly how my day is going to go, I start to think that I’m going to be stuck here… until my past finds me and everything I’ve been running from for the last five years will finally swallow me whole.
I’m busy enough not to think about it too often.
When my first paper comes back from my Econ class with a B+, I want to scream from the rooftops because I’m that freaking proud of myself. Sage hunts down a couple of cupcakes with giant swirls of icing on top to celebrate over lunch, and even Gabe manages to grunt out a ‘well done’ to me as he munches through his rabbit food.
I do what I can to stay off of my Bonds radar, the tentative peace that we find has everything to do with our ability to stay the hell away from each other. I see Gabe every day and Nox during class but I only see North and Gryphon during the dinner once a week and that is A-OK with me.
I get complacent.
I start to forget just how much they all loathe me.
The knock at my dorm room door after classes and dinner rocks the boat. I open it to find Gracie standing there looking hot as hell in a pair of cut-offs and a tiny tank top, a sheepish grin over her face as she looks me up and down in a kind but assessing way that attractive girls do. I look like a pile of shit in an old pair of sweatpants and a cable knit sweater that is three sizes too big for me but comfortable as shit to lay around in.
I hold the door close so she can’t see into my barren and shameful room but she doesn’t bat an eyelid over it. “Sorry for dropping in unannounced, but you are impossible to find online. Hell, even your phone number is, like, CIA-level protected! Does Sage even have it? She doesn’t pick up my calls anymore, so I couldn’t get it from her anyway.”
God. “Uh, okay… what can I help you with?”
She glances around the empty hallway, looking uncomfortable and a little sheepish, “Can I come in? I’m not sure Sage would want me airing this out in public with all of the bullshit that she deals with on a daily basis.”
Dammit.
It’s like she knows that Sage is the only reason I would ever let some strange girl into my space, because that girl is everything to me. “Fine, come on in.”
Gracie grins and steps around me, looking around at the barren space with that same curiosity she’d shown my appearance. The thing is, it doesn’t feel like she’s judging me, it’s more that she’s cataloging everything and storing it away in case she needs it, and that’s still not something I want to get behind.
“No offense but I’m busy, you have like three minutes before I’m heading back to my books.”
She grins at me and then lays it all out there. “Sage’s birthday is this week. Her parents are throwing a big party, inviting half the Council and a whole slew of people that couldn’t care less about our girl turning nineteen. I need you to come along. I don’t think Sage was going to ask you to come because she wouldn’t want to inconvenience you, and the whole thing is going to be a dumpster fire, but you have to come.”
Sage had mentioned it to me and when I’d offered to come, she’d said no. With her dad’s Bonded Maria working for North, Sage didn’t want me to have to deal with the animosity that will inevitably be there for me.
I shoot Gracie a look and she winces but immediately jumps in with her reasoning, “Listen, I don’t want to ask this anymore than you want to be asked, but Riley and Giovanna are going to show up and make the whole night a living fucking nightmare for Sage, and I’m done taking the backseat on this bullshit. She’s… I dunno, not stronger I guess, but more resilient now that she has you, so I feel less weird for trying to support her through this.”
I do my best not to openly side-eye the hell out of her because Sage has already told me that all of her friends abandoned her over Riley and Giovanna, so why is Gracie suddenly trying to be all up in her shit?
It doesn’t feel genuine to me at all but that only makes me want to attend this party more, because Sage needs backup.
I sigh and wave a hand at her, “Fine. I’ll talk to Sage about it and let her know I’m going.”
I say it like it’s easy, like I’m not going to have to beg pathetically to North to get a pass to go. I don’t trust this girl, so I’m not going to give her any details of the mess of my bonds.
The Gifted community already has too much to say about it.
When I call North the next morning he takes my request better than I expected, and that’s my first real warning that this isn’t a party I want to be attending but when I speak to Sage about it before classes, the look of sheer relief on her face is enough for my inner stubborn bitch to kick in.
I’m going, even if it kills me.
I keep my head down and focus on my classes for the rest of the day, forgetting about the party until I split up with Sage to head off to TT and Gabe jogs to catch up with me. My hackles immediately rise because we’ve come to an unspoken agreement where I don’t lash out and bitch him out for stalking me just so long as he keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t get too close to me.
My bond enjoys his closeness too much and it’s terrifying to me, the thought that I’m going to leave him again the second I can and lose this feeling of peace and contentment… unbearable.
So I keep him as far away from me as I can manage without facing North’s bullshit wrath and he’s been fine about keeping to those boundaries, until now.
“What now?” I drawl, a small concession because it’s a nicer tone than the snapping I want to do.
“I’m picking you up for Sage’s party tomorrow, don’t leave your dorm without me.”
I roll my eyes at him but he just shakes his head at me, my attitude not rolling off of him like it usually does. ‘No, this isn’t about me tailing you because I don’t trust you, this is— there’s a lot of Council members going because of Sage’s parents, and none of them are going to… be people you should talk to.’
I don’t want to talk to anyone who isn’t Sage but I also don’t like Gabe telling me who I can and can’t speak to. ‘Afraid I’m going to embarrass you?’
He huffs and grabs my arm, pulling me off of the path and over to the side of the building where we have a little cover. ‘Maybe you should stop being so goddamn in love with the victim narrative you have going on in your head and think about this like a rational human being for a second. The Council aren’t all friends. It’s not some boys club that North is in that’s trying to ruin your life. They’re the leaders of our community and the staple of our society… and half of them think North should force you to bond with him because you shouldn’t have the right to say no to him. Half of them think rape is the appropriate course of action here.’
My stomach drops and he nods at me, ‘They’re not all good people. They’re just voted in as heads of their families and so they get a seat at the table. I’m taking you and I’ll stay with you so you don’t end up sitting in a dark corner with Sharpe or Vittorio rummaging through your brain with their gifts.’
Sharpe and Vittorio, I take note of their names because there’s too many secrets lurking in the depths of my mind that could ruin us all.
I stare up at Gabe for a minute, teetering on the edge of trusting him,and there’s a throbbing feeling in my chest that has me swaying into him just a little bit. There’s a tick in his cheek as he clenches his teeth that tells me he’s just as affected by this closeness as I am and suddenly this entire situation feels dangerous to me.
Remember they all hate you.
I push him away from my body, startling when I realize my hands had already found themselves sliding up his chest without me noticing, and suddenly my brain is full of information I do not need right now.
Like how toned and solid he feels under the shirt he’s wearing.
We both just stare at each other for a second before the spell breaks when my brain finally catches up to the fact that my goddamn hands are still pressed against his chest and I snatch them away, turning and stalking away from him.
My tone is scathing and shakes a little as I snap, “I’ll wait for you to take me over to the party but I’m hanging out with Sage there. I don’t care if you follow us around, but I’m not leaving her behind just because you want to hang out with your asshole friends.”
I’m expecting him to snap back at me or bitch me out like he usually does but he just follows me obediently, two steps behind me like usual, as if nothing has just happened. We make it to the TT training building and when I pause to push open the door Gabe steps back up to my body, leaning in close to murmur to me, “Maybe you’re not as ice cold as you pretend to be.”
I fucking need to be.
JUST WHEN I think that I’m getting in better shape during the workout portion of the TT class, Vivian switches up my sets and once again destroys my will to live. I still train away from the others in the class because I’m so far behind them, but I’ve already started to notice the growing strength in my limbs and the way I’m trimming down a little.
I still lose every last one of the training scenarios.
After the first class that I’d been knocked out of, Vivian lets the entire class use their gifts during the scenarios and there’s no way I can compete with them.
One of the girls is a walking dose of chloroform.
She also hates my freaking guts and targets me every damn time we cross the starting line. Vivian works her game plan out instantly and starts to make it harder for her to get to me, mostly to teach her how to strategize and to teach me to evade the bitch, but she’s like a goddamn bloodhound.
I hate her.
Naturally, Zoey is in love with Gabe and spends every second she can flirting with him in front of me. This should probably bother me more than it does but there’s some pissed off, cruel part of me that enjoys just how badly Gabe wants me to react. Every time I watch Zoey brush a hand across his bicep without so much as a flinch, I can see how much it pisses him off.
He never pushes her away though and that says far too much about how he really feels.
The only silver lining to taking this class with Gabe is that after we’re done for the day, he drives me over to North’s place for dinner each week, cutting down the time I have to be trapped in a small, confined space with North and his driver.
The motorbike is intimate but the flirting with death makes it my preferred method of being dragged to these stupid weekly dinners. Gabe also doesn’t try to talk to me or belittle me for my general existence like North does, more marks in his favor.
He also always sits next to me at the table, adding little comments and snippets of information whenever one of Nox’s guests starts shit with me, which is all the freaking time.
I’m convinced Nox only brings the most confrontational and completely insane girls that he can find to the table.
Tonight is no different and while Lana is less obvious with her infatuation with Nox, her barbed jabs at me cut a little closer to the bone than the other giggling airheads.
“I heard that you lived on the street for years, selling yourself to eat. It must be hard to go back to living a ‘straight’ life again after being used like that.”
Selling myself.
Gabe stiffens and shoots her a glare, his lip curling up. I already know he’s not going to actually do anything about it though and when he glances down at me, there’s this hesitancy in him that burns me because there’s a part of him that believes that bullshit about me.
I’m about to unleash a whole world of pain on him when North interrupts, “We need to discuss some ground rules for the party.”
I almost choke on air. “Why would we need to do that? I’ll avoid you like the plague, Gabe will stick to my ass like glue, and I’ll hang out in the corner with Sage while both of us pray that death will take us so we can get out of there.”
Nox finally leans away from Lana, who is still smirking at me like she’s won something, taking interest in the conversation for the first time. “I fucked a Flame once. She came so hard she set the bed on fire. I should call your little friend and see if she needs some… loosening up.”
It’s the biggest challenge I’ve had at keeping my gift under wraps and my teeth take the brunt of it, my jaw clenching so hard I feel my teeth crack and grind brutally together.
It’s the first time the bond in my chest hasn’t keened for him, mourning the thought of him touching anyone else but me, and I’m thankful for the small mercies because maybe it’s finally caught on to the fact that there’s no way out of this.
He’ll hate me until he dies.
I push my plate away from myself, bile creeping up my throat at the thought of him fucking my one and only friend, and Gabe glances at it and then back up at me. “North needs me to look over some paperwork, we can’t leave yet.”
I look down to find my hands shaking violently and immediately tuck them under my thighs. “I’m walking back then. I’m not staying here with him.”
‘I’ll take you,” Gryphon says, and I blanch.
He hasn’t even tried to talk to me, never even looked at me, really. I thought he’d do everything he could to get the hell away from me.
‘Thanks,’ I say, and he pushes away from the table without another word or so much as a glance my way. I don’t care about niceties, I just need to get the fuck out of here.
He leads me out to the Camaro out the front and unlocks my door for me before walking around to get in his side. I’ve never been in a car without central locking before. It looks pristine, the leather seats are older but it’s clear he takes good freaking care of this thing. I sit down delicately, like somehow my ass is going to destroy this car just by being in here.
Gryphon slides in with less hesitance but no less care, clearly he loves this car and it strikes me that this is the first thing I actually know about him, other than his work in a TacTeam and the way he dresses.
I know a lot about Gabe, thanks to our forced proximity, and both of the Draven brothers have shown too much of their amazing personalities at the dinner table. Atlas has spent our weeks of having contact with one another sending me little stories and snippets about himself, never pressuring me to do the same in return, but inevitably coaxing them out of me. Even since I told him about North’s monitoring my phone, he’s been rigorous in his attempts at getting to know me.
Gryphon has done everything he can to stay at arm’s length from me.
My bond reaches out to him, straining against the tight restraints I have on it as I tug it away before I brush against him. There’s something about his distance and the way he’s kept himself away from me that makes my bond desperate for him.
He’s the most dangerous of them all.
When he pulls up out the front of the dorm rooms he cuts the engine, the sudden silence in the cab without the rumble of the engine is uncomfortable. I wait for a moment, but when he doesn’t say a word I get out, mumbling a quiet thank you before heading back up to my room.
With my bond weeping in my chest harder than it ever has before.
