KAETHE REALLY ISN’T BUILT FOR the snow.
She’s meant to be inside, reading over herbology books and making sure her riverheart seeds are getting enough sun on the front porch. She’s meant to sit by the fire and sip tea while smiling softly at me from across the room.
She meant to be warming my bed while I make sure she’s covered in thick blankets.
Not on the mountain, where the snow is heavy, cold, and cruel, weighing down on her like an iron anchor beneath a freezing ocean. Still the snow is the reason she’s seated firmly between my thighs on the back of my icewolf as we make our way up the mountain. There was a snowstorm that blew in a week ago that had made this journey impossible until now.
Luckily, the frost that wipes everything out has yet to come.
A week has passed since my mission, a week since I told her…everything. All of it, every last bit of truth. And she had accepted it. Accepted me and forgave me for making her cry and turn cold. I meant what I said: I’ll never, ever speak to her like that again.
Every night this week we have gone to bed together, silently holding hands in the dark. It’s become so normal now, I don’t think I could fall asleep without it.
I’d give anything to feel her arms around me again. The way the curves of her body fit in my arms just right. Does she think I couldn’t feel her nipples harden against me? Does she think I couldn’t smell the change in her scent as we hold each other? Or the sweetness of her arousal that floated in the air?
Thankfully she hadn’t leaned down any closer on my lap and felt just how hard I was.
Beyond the physical closeness, our relationship has evolved. We talk all the time now. I look forward to dinners when we chat about our days. I’ve taken to counting down the minutes until I’m done with training so I can rush to get her and share the same space again. I admitted that I liked her, and I want to protect her from everything. I have to distract myself from the fact that she didn’t return the sentiment though.
Kaethe is still holding something back from me. It’s unsettling. I want to know what she thinks of me; I want to know every thought she’s ever had. If only her body desires me, I will be grateful. After the way I spoke to her it’s more than I deserve, but that doesn’t mean I’m not greedy for the rest.
She leans back into my chest, her pink hair tickling the underside of my chin. She’s dressed more appropriately than when I first found her, covered in a thick cloak and traveling clothes. Truth be told, when she came down dressed in her pair of fur-lined trousers that hugged her hips and ass like a second skin I almost came in my own pants. Kaethe is decadent in every sense of the word.
With her so close to me, I try not to think about how I woke up this morning. She had turned toward me during the night, our clasped hands tucked into her chest. My hand was resting against the swells of her breasts. I itched to touch them, bite them, suck them, fuck them. There are so many things I want to do to them…do to Kaethe.
I remember my vow in the dark all those nights ago—I need to stay firm.
Kaethe is beautiful and intelligent. She will make a great wife someday, a great mate even if she is not mine. The thought makes my stomach turn. While I’d love nothing more than to rip off her clothes and shove my cock inside her until we’re both sweating and panting, this isn’t the type of lust experienced by mates.
I vowed long ago that I would only settle for mine and have that instantaneous love and lust my parents had, that I saw Zarod and Mornga have. Even if the thought of touching anyone besides Kaethe makes me sick. Regardless, I didn’t take her from that hunting net I found her in and fuck her into next week as soon as our eyes locked.
No, it was something different than that, something that grew over time. A need to protect her, to care for her, make her and keep her safe. I admit to myself that I do want her, a lot, but it was not the primal need of the mating bond that drew me to her.
It was simply Kaethe herself, and that somehow feels more dangerous. Dangerous enough, that as she leans further into my chest to make me question if a mate is something I even want.
If my mate isn’t Kaethe, does having one even matter? A part of me screams it doesn’t, because she is mine and I must keep her. There is a reason why I can’t stop speaking to her in my language, words she doesn’t understand. I’ve bared my soul to her a hundred times, said words of devotion and ownership while she looks into my eyes. Yet, I’m too afraid to utter these intimacies in a language she knows.
What if she doesn’t feel the same?
Even if she felt a fraction of what I did, could I really deprive her of her own mate? The thought of having her now only for her to leave my bed for another’s makes my skin heat and red mist settle over my vision. Mine, mine, mine. Kaethe does want me, but she’s never indicated anything beyond physical attraction. I know for a fact she doesn’t wake in the middle of the night to count my eyelashes and deep breaths. If she was, she’d catch me doing it to her.
“How many humans have you saved?” Kaethe suddenly asks, taking me out of my thoughts. I clear my throat and flick the reins, urging my icewolf to move faster.
“I’ve lost track. Hundreds, maybe?” I respond. Kaethe grows quiet again and I can almost hear her mind working as she turns over this information.
“Where do you primarily save humans from?”
I sigh, stretching out my neck. “Depends. Sometimes they’re already at Dread’s Keep, some of them are in other clans. They’re a bit trickier to retrieve.” I nudge her with my chest. “And sometimes they stumble into my hunting net.”
Her head dips under my chin and I know she’s trying to fight her smile.
“Why do you ask, Kaethe?” I look down to see her teeth sink into her plump lower lip.
“I was wondering if you recalled rescuing a boy from a raided village.” Her shoulders tighten. “Around twenty years ago.”
My body stiffens behind her and I realize I’ve been an idiot; her truth has been staring me in the face this whole time. Why hadn’t I considered it before?
“That’s why you came here. You’re looking for someone.”
“Yes,” she whispers, seeming to deflate as if a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. “I didn’t lie when we first met, I was going to Dread’s Keep in the hopes of reuniting with someone. My brother. My older brother, Karth.”
“Karth?” The name isn’t familiar to me.
“The night the orcs came to my village, my brother and I fled together, only we got separated, I dropped his hand—” Her voice catches, her eyes squeezing shut. “We heard a rumor in Myrkorvin about a man taken in by the orcs as a child. I had to see for myself if it could be him.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” I ask, even though I know what she’s going to say.
“I was afraid. If Vorgak found out my true purpose for coming here, my life would have been endangered even more. Not to mention it would start a conflict with King Arkain, I promised him before I left I would try my best to be discreet.” Kaethe’s gloved hand covers mine holding the reins. “I know that you won’t hurt me or turn me into Vorgak. You’re my best hope at finding my brother.”
My chest grows warm, emotion clogging my throat, but I clear it. “You’ve seen all the men in town around your brother’s age?”
“Yes,” Kaethe says sadly. “Because they spread it the easiest, Myren made all the men between eighteen and thirty come in and be examined now that Frost Cough is back.”
“A few of the young men have been off scouting with the soldiers. They’ve been absent since you came here but they should be returning soon.” Something jogs my memory. “There’s one of the farmers, I found him outside of a village when he was young. He has dark hair like yours. When he first arrived he asked about a sister, but his name is Jaysin. At least…that was the name he gave me when I brought him here.”
Kaethe’s spine snaps up and she turns in the saddle to look at me, her brown eyes wide.
“Jaysin? That was my father’s name.” Her brows are raised and her dark eyes bore into mine as her lips part. “How could I have forgotten? My brother was named after my father but we always called him by his middle name to avoid confusion.”
There’s so much hope shining in her beautiful face it makes my chest hurt.
“When do they return?”
“They’re due back with the soldiers in about a week’s time. If that’s not him, I’ll figure out where we go from there.”
“Thank you,” she whispers, her eyes going glassy again. These are good tears. The only tears I’ll ever cause her.
“I swear to you, Kaethe, if your brother still lives, I will find him.”
Her cheeks turn pink and she nods. We resume our journey but not before Kaethe snags my arm not holding the reins and wraps it around her waist. The soft curve of her stomach presses into my forearm and I have to swallow my hiss. Especially when she brackets my arm with her own and snuggles back into my chest, my chin resting on top of her head.
“You can call me, Kae you know.”
“I prefer, akorzag.” She elbows me gently in the chest but I know she’s smiling. I shouldn’t call her that, but it feels too natural. It’s clear she doesn’t know what it means or she wouldn’t be smiling at me so brightly. That smile does something funny to my chest again but I push it down for now as I urge our beast forward.
“Do I get to call you Bazy?” she asks hopefully. I choke on my laugh and she chuckles, sending vibrations along my arm. With Kae letting me soak in her warmth and sweet scent as the sun shines overhead, I don’t think anything could be more perfect.
“Absolutely not.”
