THE WEATHER WAS MILD LAST night and we were able to make camp after a long day’s journey.
Bazur heated up some stew and we enjoyed it by a small fire. He peppered me with questions about my life in Myrkrovin, my time at the academy, and even shared a bit about his younger years as well.
When the sun had fully set, we crawled into our tent, sprawled out on separate bedrolls and fell asleep holding hands. It would’ve been so easy to roll over and onto his bedroll, to join his fur blanket with my own, and curl my body into his. I considered it, seeing as the wind blew gently through our tent. After sharing with him my last secret I feel like there’s nothing holding me back now. He knows everything about me and he trusts me, and is willing to help me with my mission.
Bazur’s vow to help my brother solidified my feelings toward him. As I laid next to him in the tent, his deep breath echoing around me, I vowed I would tell him tonight how I feel. I like him, I more than like him—I crave him. My depth of feeling terrifies me, but I can’t miss out on this. I can’t miss out on the possibility of us.
So that was my plan, and I would’ve stuck to it.
However, the gods had a different idea.
The weather today has seemed just as mild as last night. Bazur and I worked side by side all day to secure the amount of mint root Myren was needing. I am packing the last containers into my protective case when I peer up at the sky. Bazur is tucking something in his own bag when he lets out a curse. The sparse fluffy clouds have merged together to be dark, ominous masses. Bazur is about fifty feet away from me but I hear his thunderous footsteps sound in the snow as he charges in my direction.
“Kae, we need to—” But he’s too late. The sky opens up and soaks us with snow and icy water. My clothes are ruined in an instant. My hair plasters to my head and in another instant, we are pelted with little balls of ice.
Oh gods, how are we going to make it to the tent?
We had to travel a short distance from our campsite to find the roots this morning. We won’t survive if we stay out here much longer; my fingers are already going numb from the rain.
Where is Bazur?
My head turns in the direction he was but I don’t see him. The wind is whipping the snow around me into a frenzy and I can barely see anything. A familiar panic begins to set in. I can’t lose him out here, I won’t allow us to be separated.
“Bazur!” I scream, the storm swallowing my voice. “Bazur!”
Godsdammit where are you?
A warm arm wraps around my waist and I’m pulled back against a solid chest. That familiar pine scent fills my lungs and even though we aren’t out of the storm yet, I relax a little. Bazur’s got me, he won’t let anything happen to me.
“Kae, the snow is too deep for you to walk, hold on to me,” he shouts. My arm tightens around his hold on my waist as my teeth begin to chatter. Bazur moves quickly in the snow, his long, muscular legs carrying us toward our tent.
“I—I knew y—you—you’d find me,” I say, teeth chattering. He grunts his confirmation, and tightens his grip.
The wind stings my cheeks and bites at my nose as we push through it. My clothes are waterlogged as are my boots. We won’t be able to make a fire and if I don’t get out of these wet clothes…I shudder at the thought. I really, really don’t want to lose a finger or toe today.
My body shakes violently as I shiver through our journey. Bazur must be cold too but he holds me through it all, cradling me against his strong chest as we push forward. I must pass out from the cold for a second because I go from being pelted with ice and rain to being inside the tent.
We sealed the tent before leaving this morning so everything in here is dry and preserved from the storm raging just outside. It’s dark in here with no fire but I can still see my breath in front of me. I try rubbing my hands together but my fingers are stiff with cold. The tips of my ears hurt from the chill.
“We need to get you out of those clothes,” Bazur says behind me. His arm is still wrapped around me, but I can barely move. I have no dry clothes in this tent, but nudity is the least of my concerns. If I don’t get out of these wet clothes I will be sick.
“H—help me,” I murmur, fingers fumbling with the tie of my cloak. I manage to slip it off my shoulders and toe of my wet boots. My sodden socks go next, followed by my gloves. My fingers can’t work the button on my pants but then Bazur is there, ripping it open and helping me shove them down. He does the same with my shirt, whipping it off over my head and tossing it into a pile.
I’m too cold to feel shy. Even though I register how very naked I am right now, I’m more concerned about the blue tinge to my fingers.
Something warm and dry comes down on top of my naked form. It smells so strongly of Bazur that despite myself I let out a small moan. The soft spun wool shirt glides over my damp skin, snagging on my hard nipples, with the hem ending somewhere near my knees.
Gods, he’s huge.
“Th—thank you.” I turn to look over my shoulder at him. His honey eyes are nearly all black from dilated pupils. He’s working the tie on his own soaked cloak. He shucks it off quickly, followed by his shirt and quickly drops his hands to the waistband of his pants. He nods his head at me.
“I need to warm you. Get under my furs, we’ll have to use body heat.”
Slowly I walk forward and then slide under his fur and onto his large bedroll. It will accommodate us both just fine. We’ll need to be close if we want to warm ourselves quickly. Despite my chill, my pussy begins to heat. Liquid arousal pools at the thought of what’s to come: Bazur, pressed against me, holding me, while I’m dressed only in his shirt.
I hear his footsteps come round to the other side of me. He’s changed into dry linen pants, his dark hair is wet, a few pieces sticking to his cheeks. Pulling back the fur, he slips in next to me, not hesitating for a moment to curl his arm around my frigid body and bring me into his chest. I instantly feel comforted and safe.
Tucked against him like this, my feet hover somewhere around his knees. My body soaks in his warmth. More moisture leaks from me and my nipples tighten painfully against the front of his shirt. My hands press into his chest, feeling his solid muscles and raised scars. This feels right, like I’ve done it a million times.
I want to stay like this forever.
The realization steals my breath. I don’t want to leave in the spring. I want to spend my days helping Myren and the other women of the village. I want to eat Bazur’s weak stew. Most of all, I want us to go to bed holding each other like this every night for the rest of my life.
The vision of it is so clear to me.
I’ll miss my old life, Elvie especially, but she’ll understand. And when Vorgak is no longer a threat, I can take Bazur to visit them. We’ll go on adventures and experience new things together. Our future can start right now if I just tell him what I’m feeling. I’ve put it off long enough. The gods haven’t disrupted my plans after all, they’ve given me a firm push in the right direction.
“Are you warm?” Bazur rumbles against me, turning my center molten.
“Yes. You are very warm,” I sigh, snuggling in closer, my leg rises to sling over his hip and bring him even tighter against me. Bazur’s whole body tenses as he lets out a hiss. I realize why as my cheeks heat and I feel something hard pressing against my thigh.
He’s aroused by me. This is the first time I’ve felt anything like this pressing against me. I can’t help but bite my lip, my hips squirming of their own accord with this new found discovery. Bazur hisses again and I can’t help the giggle that escapes me
“Sorry,” I say. His hand slips around from my back to curl into my waist. His large fingers dig into my skin. Hands that are rough and so deadly but devastatingly gentle when they hold me.
At this point I’m so wet I may be risking dehydration.
“You sound really sorry,” he grumbles.
“It’s natural. Scientifically speaking, your body is just reacting to my closeness and as it hasn’t been an issue for us before—”
He barks out a laugh, his breath tickling my face.
“You really think this is the first time you’ve ever made my cock hard?” he asks. My head snaps up, my mouth falling open. His words are rough and coarse and so delicious I want to drink them. His eyes are dark, simpering with enough lust to have my stomach churning.
I swallow as I replay what he said as we stare at each other.
“It’s not?” I don’t mean to sound naive but I’ve never noticed. It’s never even crossed my mind to check and see if he was aroused. His stare flusters me, to know that he’s been hard as well…
“Kaethe, my cock’s been hard since the moment I found you in that fucking net.” His tongue comes out to wet his bottom lip. My gaze tracks the movement. “I’ve had to find a way to handle it myself.” He grits his teeth and dips his head.
“When you’re away from the house or in the bath,” he admits.
My heart thunders in my chest and my eyes flutter shut. Oh my gods, I’m so aroused it’s almost painful. To know that he desires me that much for this long, I could climax right now.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” he grunts. “I’m sorry. You’re uncomfortable—”
“No, I’m not. I’ve just never…” I pause. “I’ve never had that effect on someone before.”
Bazur’s eyes look down at me and his brows furrow incredulously.
“Believe me, you have. Some of my soldiers can’t keep their eyes off of you.” My nose crinkles, I’ve never noticed anyone’s stares besides Bazur’s. “You’re beautiful, I understand their attraction but it doesn’t mean I want to smell it.”
Bazur lets out a low growl as if the thought is abhorrent to even consider. My mouth goes dry as I blink up at him. Everything around me freezes and as my heart thunders in my chest.
“You think I’m beautiful?” I ask quietly. The warmth in my chest is growing, spreading down to my fingers and toes. I’m warm now, so warm. Bazur looks down at me with confusion, as if I was crazy for asking such a question. It makes my toes curl.
“Kaethe, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Sometimes…Mother of the Mountain sometimes I can’t believe you’re real.”
I kiss him.
Without giving myself a chance to consider the outcomes or let myself lose my nerve, I just act. I follow instinct, leaning into this primal urge to meet his mouth with my own. My kissing experience is limited and Bazur’s tusks prove to be a new challenge. One that makes my pussy grow wetter.
His lips are warm and firm against my mouth. It’s a chaste kiss, just a press of our lips together. I’m not sure if I should open my eyes, or what I should do with my own hands but I don’t let that worry me. However as the seconds tick by and Bazur doesn’t move, apprehension pricks the back of my neck.
I pull back and stare up at him, his pupils blown wide in surprise. Maybe he was put off by my technique? My obvious lack of experience? My stomach starts to sink as he remains frozen.
Oh, no. Oh gods, no. I’m an idiot. A huge fucking idiot. Have I misread this whole thing? I shouldn’t have let myself get carried away. Perhaps calling someone beautiful doesn’t mean the same thing to orcs as it does to humans.
Embarrassment warms my face.
“Sorry,” I blurt out. I remove my leg from around his hip and try to pull away even with his arms still holding me. “I’m sorry, I misunderstood you when you said I was beautiful I didn’t mean to—”
Bazur lets out a sound from deep within his chest. Suddenly I’m flat on my back with a very strong, unleashed orc male pinning me down beneath him. His mouth finds mine once more.
This time he’s kissing me, really kissing me. It takes a bit of maneuvering with his tusks but he doesn’t slow down. His lips tease mine and I return it eagerly, that embarrassment I felt before is wiped away when I feel his hips settle between mine. His hard cock rubs against me and I moan into our kiss.
His tongue licks the seam of my mouth and I open my lips. Large hands tangle in my hair, holding my skull firmly as he plunders my mouth. His tongue touches mine and I don’t know what to do with my own so I let him guide me. I must be doing something right because he lets out his own groan, grinding his hips even harder against my pussy.
The shirt he gave me has risen up and I’m almost completely exposed.
I don’t care. I want him to see me. All of me, in a way that no one ever has and never will.
My hands dig into the hard muscles of his back as he plants kisses along my cheeks, my nose, licking the shell of my ear and making me whimper. His tongue then traces a path along my neck, sucking at my pulse and gently biting me there too. I let out a moan, my own hips rising to meet his.
“You didn’t misunderstand anything,” he growls, his voice more animalistic than I’ve ever heard it before
My heart glows in my chest and tears threaten my eyes as pure happiness pours through me. He lets out another roar as he buries his head in the juncture of my neck and shoulder. Bazur’s whole body is shuddering.
“Mother of the Mountain, Kae, if you knew what I wanted to do to you—” He breaks off on a groan as his mouth returns to mine. It’s frenzied, like we don’t have much time and he has to savor this before it’s over.
I whine as his hips lift from mine and I shift to try and get back some of that delicious friction. The muscles under my hands are bunched so tight I’m afraid they’re going to snap his bones. Realization dawns on me. He’s holding himself back to not scare me. Doesn’t he realize the only thing I’m afraid of is stopping?
It dawns on me that I’ll have to be the one who takes this to the next level.
I move my hands from his back and press my mouth to his once more. The sleeves of his shirt are so large that they slip off of my shoulders easily. Bazur’s eyes go completely black as he watches my movements, his muscled chest rising and failing rapidly.
Pulling the shirt down until my breasts are exposed I look up at him through my lashes.
“Show me what you want to do to me.”
Bazur’s groan rattles the tent and I watch the last of his restraint break. He falls on me with his mouth open. He devastates my lips while his callous palms cup my breasts. I know they are on the larger side compared to other humans but Bazur’s hands hold them perfectly. I’d always thought I’d feel self conscious letting someone see me like this but it’s hard to be anything but confident when a powerful male is looking at you like you’re a gift from the gods.
Bazur kisses a path down my chest.
“Fuck, Kaethe, these are perfect,” he growls, nipping the fleshy swell of my breast. “I could come just from looking at them. They make me want to do bad things.”
His mouth closes over one of my hard pink nipples and my back arches. The corresponding tug between my thighs makes me moan. Bazur uses his other hand to roll my other nipple back and forth causing me to pant.
“What kind of bad things?” I ask, losing myself to the pleasure of his touches.
“Kaethe,” he warns. I don’t want him to hold back, I want to know everything he’s thinking. So I have to push him.
“Tell me,” I whine as he licks my nipple.
“Fuck!” he shouts, gripping my breasts tighter. “Taste them, like I am now. Watch them bounce as I pound into that little, wet pussy of yours.”
“Yes,” I moan, the crude words send a shiver down my spine, directly to my pussy making it throb. His mouth suctions over my nipple again as his eyes find mine. It’s so erotic, the way his tusks press into the soft skin on the underside of my breast.
“Kaethe, I want to fuck them. To shove my cock in between your breasts and paint them with my seed, cover you in my scent so everyone knows who you belong to,” he growls.
I cry out, my pussy clamping around nothing. My hips rise to grind against him. I need him to touch me there, to touch me anywhere. His ownership of me makes my breathing more ragged.
I want him to cover me in his scent, to own me in that primal way. A part of me needs it, craves it above all else.
“Kaethe, I, fuck—” he grits out, shaking himself. “Let me give you what you need. Let me lick that sweet little pussy. Just one taste. That’s more than any male deserves.”
My mind is fogged with lust but in the haze a bit of apprehension trickles into my belly. Kissing and fondling is one thing, but this is a huge step for me. I want to let him see all of me finally but my nerves threaten to overwhelm me. Still, I manage to nod.
“Say it Kae, I need to hear you say it.”
“Please,” I murmur, shyness making my voice small. “Lick my pussy, Bazur. I n—need you to.”
“Fuck,” he curses, kissing down my body. He whips off his shirt that’s been bunched around my waist and throws it somewhere into the tent. Bazur’s eyes glow dangerously as he takes in my naked body, flushed in the dim light.
I have curves and bumps and rolls and extra padding in places other humans don’t. My body is mine and I love it. It saved me that night when my village was raided, it took me through school, and helps me save people’s lives. It’s what turns Bazur on so much he’s practically salivating over me.
That knowledge makes my arms fall to my side and my legs spread wider. I let him see every dimple, every line, every freckle and watch him go feral over them.
“Kae, Kae, Kae” he repeats my name like a prayer. “Mother of the Mountain, look at you. Perfect, fucking sweet and soft. Fuck, akorzag, I need a taste, I’ll die without it.” He kisses down the soft slope of my belly, his teeth and tusks sinking into my flesh there.
“You’re the only one who’s seen me like this. I’ve never—”
Bazur lets out a groan as he looks up at me from between my thighs. My pale, pink skin in such contrast with his green color. It’s perfect.
“You’re saving yourself for someone,” he says, kissing the soft skin of my thighs. Lust clogs my brain and I nod my head.
I was saving myself for someone, for him. I’ve never thought my virginity was something that needs safeguarding until my wedding night to prove some complete nonsense about my purity. I just want to give it to the right person, someone I can see a future with, who makes me feel safe and comfortable.
That someone is Bazur. I let him see that confession in my eyes.
“I’m just tasting you tonight, anything more than that and—” He inhales deeply and groans, his hands reaching down to grip my thighs. “I made a vow to myself weeks ago. I swore to keep my hands off of you. I knew what would happen if I—”
His hot breath ghosts over my pussy causing me to moan and thrust my breasts into the air.
“You just had to make me break it. How could I not when you went and rubbed your little pink pussy on my thigh? Soaking me with your sweetness.” He kisses along the inside of my thigh, his teeth grazing my sensitive skin. “I want you to soak my face now. Come all over it so that when we return to the village tomorrow all the males will know I had the privilege of tasting your sweet cunt.”
He leans down, pressing his nose against my mound one more time before his tongue licks straight up my center.
“Bazur!” I scream, my thighs clamping together around his ears. His giant hands grip me just under my knees, pushing my legs back towards my chest and exposing my untouched, wet flesh to his eyes. Even in the dark tent I can see how wet I am. His groan rings in my ears.
Then he begins to feast on me.
His tongue laps at my clit as his hands continue to hold my legs up and back. I’m unable to move but my hands find his head. My fingers tunnel into the soft, dark strands of his hair pulling on it as he sucks my clit into his mouth. He alternates between flicking it with his tongue and pulling it deep into his mouth.
My breathing is frantic, my hips try and squirm as I try to work myself on his tongue. Bazur pulls back slightly, his mouth curving into a smirk, green lips glistening with my arousal.
Before I can question what he’s going to do next he leans down and licks my back entrance. I scream and my thighs tighten against his ears once more. The sensation is obscenely decadent.
“What I wouldn’t give to get my cock in this little hole too.”
“Bazur,” I say, my body starting to shake. I’m not scared of what he’s saying, I’m only curious. He makes me feel safe, there’s nothing scary about this.
“I’m being too greedy.” He shakes himself, his mouth settling over my clit once more.
“Bazur, I—”
“I haven’t even made you come yet. I need to taste it.” He nips my clit gently with his tusks and my stomach begins to tighten. “Kae?”
“Yes?” My hips are moving on their own accord again trying to seek out his mouth.
“Promise me something.”
“Anything,” I moan, needing his mouth back on me.
“When you come, scream my name. I can die a happy male having heard it just once.” His words confuse me but they become irrelevant a moment later when his mouth is back on me. Licking and sucking, biting and pulling. His mouth attaches to me and my legs go over his shoulders. His muscular forearm pins my hips down so I have no option but to take his attack.
The sensation is everything. I can hear the wet sounds my pussy is making and that causes my thighs to shake. Bazur’s eyes lift to mine, looking almost fevered. I feel his tongue prod my entrance and I explode.
My muscles tense, my body locks up, my pussy clenches around this new intrusion. I keep my promise and scream his name. My come leaks out of me and Bazur eagerly laps it up. He kisses my pussy once, then twice, then a third time before removing his arm from my hips. His lips trace up my body before he reaches my mouth.
Bazur kisses me and I can taste myself on his lips. Even after coming so hard my body is primed to go again, more wetness coating my thighs. However, it seems like Bazur has other ideas when he reaches for his shirt and slips it back on over my head.
I’m confused but maybe it’s normal to take breaks between each act. I’m basically vibrating with the need to feel him inside of me. Bazur plants a soft kiss on my forehead and pulls me on to his chest. My fingers trace some of the scars there.
He’s looking at me funny. His hands smooth over my hair and draw circles along my back. I feel so wonderful, so much lighter than I ever have in my entire life. This is perfect, so unbelievably perfect. I want more of it. I want it forever.
“Bazur, that was…I don’t even know what to say.” My cheeks warm as I smile into his chest, planting a small kiss there. What is Bazur to me now? My lover? That doesn’t sound right. My mate? The thought makes my heart beat faster in my chest.
“It was more than I ever deserved, Kae.” He kisses my forehead again.
“Do you want to,” I pause. “You know, do you want me to—” He growls but shakes his head.
“Not tonight. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from fucking you.” I lift my head off of his chest.
“You don’t want to do that with me?” I ask, unease prickling the back of my neck.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he says softly, using his finger to trace over my nose as if memorizing the shape. “You’re saving yourself. I understand wanting to wait for your mate.”
My head pops up and my eyes are wide. “Bazur that’s not what I—” My words catch in my throat and it’s like a cold bucket of water has been dumped on me. Dread curdles my stomach as I ask.
“Are you waiting for your mate?” Bazur shudders and can’t meet my eyes, his hands pause their movements on my back. I hear what he says next loud and clear. My heart shatters with one sentence.
“It’s every orc’s dream to find their mate.”
His mate. The word hangs heavy between us. In the midst of all this new discovery I hadn’t even bothered to take into account that he would be waiting for his mate, the other half of his soul. Someone he believes is not me. Even if a small, ridiculously hopeful part of me thought that he could be mine.
I was incorrect in my assumption that even if I wasn’t, I would be enough. He wants me, desires me, lusts for me, but I’ll never be his. He won’t claim me in that primal, all-consuming way. He can’t.
And I’d rather be alone than stay with him knowing he’ll eventually leave me for someone else. Even if that means breaking my own heart in the process. It’s better to get it over now. The pain will get worse the longer I let this continue.
His eyes narrow as he takes in my rigid posture but before he can say anything I quickly roll off of him and move over to my own bedroll. Somehow I feel more numb than when I first got to this tent. I use this newfound coldness to rebuild my walls, closing myself off to him. Making them thicker and strong enough to hold the bleeding, broken parts of my heart.
“Kaethe.” He says my name but I grab my own fur and pull it over myself.
“I’m warm now. We should try and leave after the storm clears. Myren needs these roots as soon as possible.” Under the fur, I curl into myself and press my palms into my eyes. I won’t cry. Not when I can hear his breathing and still feel his fingers on my thighs.
“Goodnight, Kae,” he says softly in the dark. His voice is like a knife, twisting inside my heart. I say nothing and burrow down under the blanket. I let the storm pounding against the tent lull me to sleep and allow the warmth I felt for Bazur freeze over.
