Ash and I wait upstairs, a fire roaring in the fireplace. I notice now that although it looks like logs, it’s actually gas. Regardless, the heat wafting from it does nothing to warm the chill that has settled over me, seeping into my very bones.
Some time later, the others come up, and although they’re clean, I can see the evidence of what has transpired downstairs. Loki’s shirt cuffs are stained pink, and Jax has a couple of splatters of blood that he’s clearly missed when cleaning up.
“Let’s head home, Pretty Girl,” Loki mumbles, not meeting my eyes as he leads the way out of the cabin. I want to assure him that it’s okay, but he’s gone before I can.
We arrive back at Highgate just as the sun breaks into the sky. I can hear the dawn chorus fill the air as I exit the car, and it’s so at odds with what just happened, my brain is struggling to compute. The air is fresh and pure, and I take in a great lungful, as if its purity will spread through me and wash me clean from the inside out.
We walk up the stone steps to the huge front doors, and it feels like years, not weeks ago, since I first approached them. I feel even more bone-weary than I did back then, like my whole body can’t go another step. I falter, and Ash catches me before I faceplant into the stone. He must see something in my gaze because he suddenly sweeps me up into his arms and carries me bridal style over the threshold and up the stairs to our dorm.
“Ash, I can manage from here, thank you,” I say quietly as we walk through our door.
He just grunts at me, taking a leaf out of Jax’s book, and heads to the bathroom. He sets me down next to the shower, reaching in to turn it on. Turning back to me, I can see conflict in his eyes.
Taking another moment, he lifts his phone from his pocket and taps the screen. All of a sudden, Lonely by Nathan Wagner starts to play from speakers somewhere in the room.
Damn! I had no idea they had Bluetooth speakers in here!
His grey eyes meet mine, and for a second, vulnerability shines through them making my heart skip a beat.
Before I can say anything, he drops to his knees and reaches for my shoe.
“Ash, I can manage,” I murmur again softly, my eyes filling with tears as the lyrics of the song sweep over me.
Is this how he feels?
“I know you can,” he whispers back, then proceeds to undo the buckle on my shoe, encouraging me to step out of it.
He does the same with the other, then moves his hands up my stocking-clad leg to unhook one suspender, then the other. Grasping my hips in a firm grip, he turns me around to do the same to the back. Taking the top of my red lacy stocking in his fingers, he slowly rolls it down my legs. Then he repeats this with the other one.
Even with everything that has happened tonight, and despite all that has happened between us, my breath hitches as his touch burns my skin. My nipples harden to points, and desire for this beautiful, broken man floods through me with the force of a meteor.
Next, he reaches for my thong and glides it over my hips and down my legs. I’m practically shaking with all of the emotions that are running through me, my weariness all but fading away. I step out of the lace, and his hands glide back up my legs to grasp my hips once again, turning me back to face him.
His hands tighten their grip, and I can see that he’s almost gasping, his chest rising and falling with each hard breath. He stands up, his hands moving upwards and taking Jax’s tank top up and off of me, leaving me in just my red lacy corset. His nostrils flare, and his eyes flood with pure lust as he takes me in, palms coming to rest on my waist.
Leaning forward, he rests his forehead against mine.
“I should walk away and leave you right now,” he growls out, his grip tightening painfully. “But I can’t, Lilly, I can’t leave the only light to have ever come into my life. I’m not strong enough, and I’m too selfish to deny myself.”
His words set a fire inside me, my heart racing at what he’s saying.
“So don’t leave, Ash,” I whisper back.
He inhales sharply, then his lips come down hard onto mine in a kiss that defies gravity. His tongue presses along the seam of my mouth seeking entry, and I open up gladly, letting him in as my hands come to the lapels of his suit jacket, pushing it off of his shoulders to land with a soft thud on the tiles.
Vaguely, I register that the song has changed to <3 by Vi, her voice weaving its way over and inside me, the lyrics so perfect for this moment between us, that moisture stings my eyes. I’ve known that Ash wanted me, that he felt the overwhelming need for me the same way that I’ve felt it for him. But having him finally give in, finally close that distance that we’ve had between us this whole time…It’s like nothing on this earth. I feel complete, like all the parts of me are where they belong, and although I’m a little nervous about having a flashback of that awful night in the library, I couldn’t stop this even if I wanted to.
My trembling fingers unbutton his shirt, exposing his glorious inked chest, as his hands come off my waist for a moment to help me take it off, our lips still fused. Once the shirt is on the floor, he pulls me into him, and I gasp into his mouth at the feel of his hard, hot body pressing into my lace covered breasts.
His fingers come around to my back, and start to unhook the many hooks that fasten my corset. Releasing my mouth, he starts to kiss and nuzzle down my neck. I moan aloud, grasping his ebony hair in my fingers.
Finally, the lace falls to the floor, and almost immediately, his mouth comes over my nipple sucking hard. It’s the side that Kai bit earlier and is still a little sore, but the flash of pain only drives me wilder.
“Ash, please…” I beg him, needing more to ease the ache that he’s created.
He gives my nipple one last suck, then drops back down to his knees. He looks at my bare pussy for a moment, his warm breath tickling me. Slowly leaning forward, he takes an exploratory lick, swirling his tongue around my clit, and I moan low and loud. He makes a satisfied noise in the back of his throat at my response, before he suddenly buries his face in my cunt.
Pleasure explodes across my whole body, lighting me up from the inside out. My hand grabs his hair once more as my hips start to move against his face, urging him deeper and harder. I can hear his satisfied groans, like I’m his favourite meal and he just can’t get enough.
“Ash!” I gasp out as I feel the familiar rush of an orgasm begin to sweep over me. He inserts two long fingers inside me, thrusting them in and out as his tongue continues to pulse against my clit.
“I’m so close, Ash,” I whimper, feeling the orgasm start to burn.
At that moment, he crooks his fingers and sucks hard on my clit, nipping it with his teeth, sending me over the edge into the abyss. I scream my release, my whole body flashing white with a lightning bolt.
After a few moments, Ash gets up, and I can’t help but giggle, making him raise a perfect black brow.
“I think you’ll need a shower too,” I chuckle.
His mouth and chin are not only glistening with my release, but also smeared with my face paint, until he looks like some kind of debauched clown.
He looks up into the mirror behind us, and his lips lift up in a smile that takes my breath away with its beauty. This is the smile he would give all the time if his life was different. If he didn’t have to do what he does.
“Get in,” he tells me, his voice unusually soft.
As I turn to step into the shower, I see his hands go to his belt buckle, undoing it. I step under the hot spray and groan, letting the delicious jets do their work, and loosen my tight muscles.
I feel the brush of cool air across my back seconds before his strong hands alight on my waist, gripping tightly, long fingers indenting my soft skin. Turning me around to face him Ash holds up a face cloth and proceeds to wipe the makeup off my face, before doing the same to his own.
He looks glorious, his hard, toned, inked body covered in droplets of water that sparkle under the lights. He makes me think of Poseidon, all restrained violence and ill-tempered, yet tonight there’s also a vulnerability to him that makes him more man than god.
My eyes trace along the valleys and furrows of his mouth watering abs, deciding to ask about all the pictures that cover his skin later as my gaze follows those gorgeous v muscles down to his erect cock, which is so hard it’s almost lying flat against his stomach. Like the others, he’s definitely above average in the size department, and the image of him thrusting his hard length inside me leaves me breathless.
“Lilly,” he warns, his voice husky and dark. ”I can only hold back for so long, especially if you keep looking at me like that.”
My eyes flit up to his grey ones, his pupils blown with lust and his nostrils flared.
“So don’t hold back, Ash,” I whisper, feeling a sense of rightness settle over me.
“Are you sure?” he questions, and it’s that, if nothing else, that tells me he’s no monster.
“Yes,” I simply say, my eyes still locked on his. The heat in his grey orbs flares to an inferno as he takes me in, wet and naked under the shower.
Slowly and with a control that is maddening, yet endearing all at once, one of his hands leaves my waist to cup the side of my face, his thumb stroking my cheek tenderly.
You’re The One That I Want, the Lo Fang version, begins to play as he leans in and presses his lips to mine once more. His kiss is slow and leisurely, his mouth exploring every inch of mine as he draws us closer. Breaking our kiss, his lips go to my neck once more, kissing and nipping down it, sucking at the point where it meets my shoulder.
“Jesus, Lilly,” he rasps out. “You’re everything I never knew I fucking needed.” His words are a balm that soothes my soul.
“Ash,” I gasp out as he moves to the other side of my neck, lavishing the same attention onto it. “Since I met you, all of you, I’ve never felt so alive. I need you to make me feel, to make me live,” I confess, becoming a little shy as he stops and straightens up.
His eyes meet mine again, and the look in them is so intense, so full of everything, that I can barely grasp what it all means. There’s lust, and possession, fear, and even perhaps, dare I say, love.
Suddenly, he swoops down, grasping me under my thighs and lifting me up so that my legs come up and wrap around his waist as my arms come around his wet shoulders. Stepping out of the still running shower, he walks over to the open door and strides out, heading towards the lit fire. Both of us are still naked and dripping, Ash leaving wet footprints in the carpet.
I notice the other guys on the sofas, who all sit up as Ash takes me right in front of the fire, the warmth of the flames licking over my damp skin. I can still hear the song as he gets to his knees, lying me down on my back, the soft rug tickling my skin.
His eyes burn into mine, rendering me unable to look away.
“Loki,” he says, confusing me until a foil packet lands next to him.
A giggle escapes my lips, his own lifting ever so slightly as he opens the packet and rolls the rubber on. Lowering onto his hands, he leans over me, his body covering mine, and everywhere he touches burns with a delicious heat.
“Is this okay?” he asks, and I nod, my gaze flitting to the sofas to see Kai, Loki, and Jax all with similar heated looks in their eyes.
“Look at me, Princess,” Ash commands as he shifts his hips, and I feel him nudge my entrance. For a second, I’m back in that library, Robert pinning me down, and I can’t help stiffening up.
“It’s me, Princess. It’s Ash,” I hear Ash say, his soft voice bringing me back to our dorm.
My eyes fill with tears, and I have to choke back a sob.
Will I never be free of him?
“Do you want me to stop?” Ash asks, body frozen above me, his grey eyes pained and full of concern.
“No…I need him gone,” I manage to say, my voice full of the frustration I’m feeling.
“Get on top, Pretty Girl,” I hear Loki suggest, making my head turn to look at him. “Pin Ash down and take back control.”
I look back to Ash who gives me a rueful smile. “You can have control,” he says, leaning down to nuzzle my ear. “This time,” he can’t help but add. Dickhead.
In a move that makes me squeal, he flips us so that he’s now lying on his back, and I’m on top of him, our chests pressed together. A thrill runs down my spine.
I lean even closer, placing my lips next to his ear. “Hands above your head, Lucifer,” I whisper, then nip his earlobe. “And keep them there.”
Straightening up, I see his mouth set in an indulgent smile. Slowly, he lifts his hands, bringing them above his head and crossing his wrists. My breath catches, and I have to take a minute to appreciate the sight before me, of Ash doing my bidding. Ash is giving me power over him to help me heal. And maybe, just maybe, to help himself heal a little, too.
“Good boy,” I can’t resist but tease, earning a flash of heat from Ash, and chuckles from the others. Rising up onto my knees, I grasp his hardness in my hand, lining him up and sinking down slowly, until my opening is flush with his pelvis.
Both of us groan with how fucking good it feels for him to be finally, fully inside me. I can see his arms straining, wanting to reach out and grab me. Vaguely, I register the groans of the other boys, and looking over, I can see that they all now have their hard cocks in their hands. The sight winds me up even tighter, knowing how much I affect them is its own potent aphrodisiac.
The song changes to Power by Isak Danielson and the opening words flow over me in perfect sentiment for this moment.
I start to move on Ash, slowly at first, relishing the feel of him inside and underneath me. The sounds coming from his throat are music to my ears, encouraging me to go faster, and I begin to use my thighs to bounce up and down on his cock, riding him hard.
Looking down, his eyes are on my body, devouring me with his gaze. Moving one of my hands down, my fingers find my clit and start to rub circles around and over it, sending exquisite tingles shooting across my skin.
“Jesus, Princess,” Ash growls out, his voice strained as he watches me touch myself with fire in his eyes.
“Fuck, Ash!” I gasp, feeling the burn of another orgasm begin. I start to slam down on him, one hand reaching out and using his hard abs for balance.
My orgasm detonates, sweeping over and through me with a force that leaves me shaking and seeing stars. Ash roars his release moments later, as I fall forward onto his sweaty chest. We’re both panting hard, when I hear a chorus of groans from the others, as they too find their own climaxes.
We all just stay there, not speaking, breathing each other in. The crackle of the fire, and the shower that’s still going, are the only sounds in the room. Ash’s playlist must have finished because I can’t hear any music.
Ash brings his hands to wrap around me, holding me close to him whilst he’s still buried inside me.
“You okay, Princess?” he asks softly, rubbing my back gently.
“Mum-huh,” I manage to mumble out, my eyes drifting shut as I’m lured to sleep by the warmth of the fire and Ash’s soothing hands.
ASH
I lie there, naked, with Lilly on top of me, my spent dick still inside her, the fire tickling my hot skin. I can feel her body relaxing, getting heavier as I rub circles on her bare back, relishing the feel of her smooth skin.
I can’t not touch her, it’s like my hands have a mind of their own and just lose control. It’s a control I’ve worked so hard for, shed blood, sweat, and tears for, and this girl tears it away as if it’s a spiderweb in her way.
I can’t deny there was something freeing about relinquishing myself to her, of letting her take her pleasure from me, pinning me with her delectable body. It was a pleasure I’d not experienced before. Usually, I’m the one in full dominance, taking what I want with little thought to the pleasure of others. Don’t get me wrong, they always come screaming, but with Lilly, it’s like a fucking competition to see how many times I can make her orgasm before I seek my own release.
I look up to see my friends, my brothers, looking over at us. Their eyes are soft as they gaze at her, caressing her skin with a tenderness that our fathers, and Kai’s uncle, have tried their hardest to beat out.
The thought reminds me of the time she met my father, of the way he looked at her as if she was a new toy, a toy he’d love to break. My arms tighten around her, making her sigh out and shift closer.
“We have to keep her safe,” I whisper out, but I know they’ve all heard me when each pair of eyes goes hard. “They can’t know her involvement tonight.” I look back down at the top of her head and can’t help but place a gentle kiss there.
“How will we explain Robert? And his dad?” Loki asks, a tinge of concern in his voice.
“We say they were trying to undermine Black Knight Corp,” Kai says, his voice low so as not to wake the sleeping beauty on top of me. “Governor Michaels was trying to cut a deal with Glow Worm Pharmaceuticals, so we play on that,” he explains, and we all nod. His intelligence gathering astounds me regularly.
“Good,” I respond, nodding at Kai, taking up the mantle of leader again. Sometimes the load is so heavy, I don’t know how I’ll carry on. But I have to. For them, if nothing else.
Maybe also for her now? A voice in the back of my mind whispers like an autumn breeze.
“Loki, Jax, why don’t you clean up and go to bed,” I say, more of an order than a suggestion.
So used to following my orders, they get up and head to the bathroom.
I look at Kai and see that he’s staring at me, a soft look on his face. Bastard is too observant for his own good.
“You need her, just as much as the rest of us, Ash,” he states gently.
I say nothing, unable to deny the simple truth of his words.
Ordinarily, as their leader, I look out for their welfare over my own, seeing to their needs first. But, I’m feeling selfish tonight, especially with her warmth seeping into my soul. Kai’s right, I need her light, and I’m not ready to give it up just yet.
Loki and Jax come back, breaking our stare. I curl up, my dick finally slipping from her wet folds causing her to softly groan out, but not awaken when I tighten my arms around her as I carefully move her across my lap. Settling my arms under her knees and back, I stand. She really is like a pixie, and I hardly notice her weight as I make my way to the stairs, the others trailing behind.
When I get to my door, a broad hand reaches past me to open it, allowing me to step in. Jax goes around to the bed, pulling the covers down for us as Loki dims the lights to a faint glow. Kai places a glass of water on one of the bedside cabinets, whilst Loki draws the curtains.
I place Lilly on the bed, careful not to wake her, and as I straighten up I once again catch the gazes of the others. My brothers. No words pass between us, but I can feel the love they have for me as strongly as my own for them.
With a final searing look, they turn and leave, shutting the door softly behind them. I gaze down at Lilly and realise that the strength of feeling I have for those men, is not dimmed when I look at her. If anything, it’s almost stronger and mixed in with a fierce need to protect her and eradicate all and any danger.
Heaving a shaky breath, I walk around to the other side of the bed, take off the used jonny and throw it in the trash can before wiping myself with a towel flung over my chair. Then I get into bed, pulling her so close that there’s not a single atom of space between our bodies. She lets out a contented sigh, her body relaxing in my arms.
Taking another inhale, breathing in her scent of fresh starts and new beginnings, my eyes drift closed, and for the first time in a long time, I drift off into a dreamless sleep.
