I wake up to a room filled with darkness, yet I feel calm and rested.
My mind wanders to the night before, the Halloween party, dancing with the guys, the car journey, the cabin…
My breathing starts to speed up as images flash across my vision like a movie; the stairs leading to the basement, the surgical table, the black latex gloves, Ash’s grey eyes…
I take a deep breath in, trying to soothe my erratic thoughts, and am flooded with the scent of spicy ginger. The comforting smell washes over me, calming my frantic heartbeat. Looking to the side I see Ash, sleeping on his stomach, one arm under his pillow. He looks so peaceful, so beautiful, every inch a tempting devil with his ink covered skin and sharp features. I reach out to push some of that midnight hair away from his brow, but my hand stills, not wanting to wake him.
Deciding to leave him and get something to drink, as quietly as I can, I go to slip from the bed, but a tattooed hand grabs my wrist, making me gasp and turn around.
“Going somewhere, Princess?” His voice is deliciously rough with sleep.
Before I can answer, he tugs, and pulls me back down so that I’m lying underneath him.
“Ash!” I exclaim with a breathy laugh as he nestles between my legs, already growing hard. “I wanted to get a drink.”
His lips lift in a positively sinful smirk, then he abruptly kneels up, reaching for a glass of water that is on the bedside drawers. Looking directly into my eyes, his own shining, he takes a drink, leaning over once more to place the glass back. I quirk my brow as he comes to rest on top of me again, his hands on either side of my head, propping him up. Lowering himself down, he places his lips over mine, just barely touching. Suddenly having an idea of what he’s doing, I part my lips and a trickle of water passes from his mouth to mine.
I drink it down, and once I’m done he swallows the rest, then licks my lips.
“Better?” he asks softly, our faces so close that even in the low light I can see every shade of grey in his beautiful irises.
“Yes,” I whisper back, my hand coming up to run through his hair which is a mess. I love him like this, debauched and rumpled.
“Good,” he replies, his lips quirk in a lopsided grin, full of wicked thoughts. “Now that you’re sufficiently hydrated,” he tells me, leaning in so that his lips are against my ear. “It’s time I take control back. Don’t you think, Princess?” he tells me, thrusting his hips slightly so that I can feel his hardness pressing against my core.
“Yes, sir,” I answer, my breath quickening and my pulse beginning to race at this game we’re playing. His length jumps at the word ‘sir’.
“Excellent,” he says back, a definite rasp to his voice.
He kneels up again, a breath of cool air whispering over my heated skin.
“Hands above your head, Princess, crossed at the wrists, and keep them there,” he commands, quoting my own words from earlier back at me. His eyes flare and his dick twitches when I immediately obey. “Good girl.” Heat floods my body with the praise.
I watch as he grabs a condom from the drawer, opening the packet and rolling it on, before he comes back down in between my legs, resting on his elbows. His hand comes between us, and he looks down as he lines himself up with my already slick entrance.
“It’s not going to be gentle, and I’m not holding back, okay?” he asks, pausing and waiting for my confirmation.
“Okay,” I murmur back.
His eyes flood with something like relief, then go hard a second before he thrusts inside me. I cry out with the pleasure-pain it causes, my back arching and it takes every ounce of strength I possess to keep my arms above my head. My legs wrap tightly around his waist, pulling him closer to me.
“Such a good fucking girl,” he rasps and he grabs my jaw in one hand, slamming his lips onto mine in a messy kiss that drags my soul from the depths of my being.
His hips move in a punishing gyration, hitting my g-spot and clit simultaneously and sending waves of burning electricity running through my entire body. Breaking our kiss and releasing my jaw, his hands move up my arms to clasp mine, keeping them above my head. It’s like he can’t help himself, he needs to be touching me everywhere, inside and out.
“Look at me, Lilly” he orders roughly, not breaking his rhythm. I open my eyes, gazing into his and gasping when I see the grey swirl and flicker with luminescent fire. “When I think about you, I burn inside, Princess. My entire being, everything I am and ever could be is yours.” I gasp, my eyes filling with moisture, but before I can say anything he continues. “I love you, Lilly Darling, and I will love you until I draw my last breath and my soul descends into the depths below. And when the stars fall from the sky, and the earth shatters into a million pieces my love for you will be in every fucking atom of the galaxy.”
“Ash…” I gasp, my hands gripping his so tightly, I can feel the crests that my nails are leaving. A tear escapes the corner of my eye, and he leans down and kisses it, pausing his movements, waiting.
“You’re the piece of me that was missing, Ash,” I whisper into his ear, and his body sags into mine, his hips moving again and making it difficult to focus on what I want to say. “Even if they were to cut me open, they would find you there. All of you are fused to my very cells, and nothing can ever truly separate us.”
He pushes up again, transferring his grip to holding my wrists in one of his hands but keeping them above my head. His weight bearing down on my wrist bones causes a pain that only drives my release closer, and I moan his name loudly.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Lilly,” he gasps. His thrusts get harder, the sound of our hips slapping filling the room alongside my gasping breaths and his deep groans.
“Come for me now, Princess. Come all over my dick,” he orders, and I’m helpless to resist as his other hand comes between us, pinching my clit so hard, my hips buckle and my inner walls clamp down around him as I scream my climax, coating us both in my juices.
His pace becomes frenzied, then he curses as he reaches his own pinnacle, stilling above me as every muscle goes rigid. Moments later, he releases his grip, my hands tingle slightly with the return of blood flow as he collapses down on top of me, our sweaty bodies sticking together.
We lie like that, putting our fucking souls back together, hearts pounding in perfect synchronicity, our breathing matched.
“Ash,” I mumble, and he turns his head to look at me. “I love you.”
The smile he gives me is so beautiful, so rare, and precious to me, it’s like finding treasure at the end of the rainbow.
“I love you too, Lilly,” he replies, leaning close and placing a trembling kiss on my lips.
Deciding that I really do need to wash up, I get out of bed, leaving Ash all rumpled and decadent looking, already half asleep with a soft smile on his face. Padding across the room on bare feet and completely naked, I open the door, heading out into the hall and down the stairs.
I pop to the toilet, and after cleaning myself up, I come out of the bathroom and walk over to the kitchen, finding a glass and starting to run the tap.
There’s a change in the air, then a warmth at my back as huge, strong arms come around my waist.
“Are you scared of me now, Baby Girl?” Jax’s gruff voice sounds in my ear. There’s a note of worry in his tone. “After seeing what I’m capable of?”
Leaning back into him, I can’t help it, I seek comfort in his powerful embrace. It feels so good to be here in his arms.
“No,” I whisper. “I’m not scared of you, Jax. I could never be scared of you,” His arms tighten around me, pulling me even closer. “You keep me safe,” I add on a breath.
“But?” he asks, his deep voice rumbling across my skin, my nipples instinctively pebbling to hard aching points.
Sighing, I try to gather my thoughts. I bring my hands along his muscular forearms and down to the backs of his own hands, tangling our fingers together.
“But, how can these hands,” I bring them up in front of us, “that bring me so much pleasure, that make me feel so safe, be capable of such…” I trail off, unable to bring myself to say the word.
Pain, my mind taunts, and for a moment, Jax’s hands are dripping red with the blood of his victims. I blink, and they’re back to being clean again.
“My mind can’t unknow the fact that you’ve hurt someone with these hands. That you have all hurt people. Badly. Hell, I saw just what you can do last night, and with what happened to my mum…” I sigh, feeling tears prick my eyes. I close them and bring our hands back down, wrapping myself up in his safe arms again. “But, Jax, I’m…I’m in love with you, all of you, and my heart hurts so badly thinking about everything that you’ve had to do to survive.”
Tears are tracking down my cheeks, I just can’t stop them. It’s true.
“Baby Girl, please don’t cry,” he says, his own voice made even rougher than usual with emotion.
He turns me around in his arms, wiping my tears away. Ducking his head, he raises my chin, looking into my eyes with his.
“Lilly, baby, I can’t speak for Ash and Kai, but, well…ah, fuck!” He takes a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck with a huge palm and glancing away. “I feel the same. That is…” He looks back to me, meeting my eyes with his beautiful, piercing blue ones. “I’m in love with you, too. And I don’t mind that you love them as well.”
His confession is awkward as fuck, but even more adorable because of it. This is the most I’ve ever heard him say in one go, and he’s rendered me completely speechless.
“Jax…” I say, reaching out, gliding my fingertips down the side of his face and along his rough bearded jaw.
He’s so gorgeous, all the guys are in their own way. Jax takes my breath away every time I look at him with his stunning viking-like colouring and looks, which are heightened by his black tattoos. He exudes strength and violence in equal measure, but I’ve seen and known him to be so tender and caring. He’s the protector of us all.
“And as for what we’ve done, what we do,” he continues, anger lacing his tone. “Lilly, we were kids. Barely fourteen when they took us to the cabin that first time.”
My heart aches for them, a flash of hatred for their families runs hot through me, my hand stilling against his cheek. They were just boys when they were forced to do something so abhorrent, it begs belief.
“It doesn’t excuse what we did, what we still do, and I don’t know if it makes any difference, but there it is.”
“Oh, Jax,” I gasp out, the burn of more tears stinging my eyes.
Jax begins to turn away from me, his arms starting to drop from around me. I lay my hand on his broad, naked chest, right over his heart, stopping him from leaving. His blue eyes meet mine, and I can see that he’s already preparing for rejection.
“Jax, I love you,” I say, holding his gaze and willing him to believe me. “And I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. Like I told Ash, since I met you, since I met all of you, I’ve never felt so alive. And life is always fucked up. Even without psycho families.” I smile gently, causing a rueful smile to tug at his plush lips. “I don’t regret a single moment, and I’m not leaving.” I give him my best badass bitch look, which is rewarded with one of his rare, genuine smiles that melts my heart.
“Now, show me how you love me, Jax,” I command, looking directly into his eyes. He hesitates.
How can they think they’re monsters when they behave like this?
“I need you, all of you, to help take the feel of him away, Jax. Please,” I say, knowing that I need his help, all of their help to get through what happened and to fully heal.
Staring into my eyes for a beat longer, his own are swirling pools of blue. Suddenly, he reaches down, hauls me up, and grips my arse tightly. I wrap my legs around his waist, my thighs spread impossibly wide as he’s just that stacked. My arms come up, going around his thick neck in a tight embrace that brings us closer.
I start grinding my bare pussy on his hard abs as he carries me over to the kitchen island and sets me down on the edge.
His lips come down onto mine, devouring me with his burning kiss. One of his hands leaves my arse to grab a fistful of my hair, pulling tightly. For a moment, I’m back in the library, my hair being ripped out whilst clammy hands touch me. My body stiffens, preparing to fight, when I hear Jax’s rough voice.
“Come back to me, Baby Girl.”
I look up, blinking, and stare into his searching blue eyes.
“Jax…I’m sorry…” I start to say, but stop when he growls at me.
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for that cunt’s actions,” he rumbles out. Then he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. “You did nothing wrong, baby,” he assures me softly, resting his forehead against mine.
I know he’s right, but a part of me still thinks that it’s my fault somehow. That I did something to make it happen.
“Do you want to stop?” he asks, opening his lids, his eyes full of understanding and worry.
“No,” I say quickly. I can’t explain it, but I know that if I don’t do this, if I don’t take back control and balk at having sex with my guys, Robert wins. “Please, don’t stop, Jax.”
He gives a brief nod, staring intently into my eyes, the hand in my hair letting go as his other hand leaves my arse to snake between us. Finding me already wet, he rumbles in appreciation as he teases my clit, rubbing circles around the sensitive nub until I’m squirming and gasping, my eyes closing in pleasure.
I hear a drawer open next to us, then the rustle of a foil packet.
These guys have condoms every-fucking-where! Always be prepared, right?
Opening my eyes, I see he’s pushed his sweats down, has rolled the condom on, and is lining up the head of his hard cock with my slick opening, all whilst still playing with my clit. My eyes roll as he starts to push his way inside me.
“Look at me, Baby Girl,” he orders, his tone so gruff it sends shivers down to my core.
I’m captured in his gaze as inch by inch, he glides inside me, until he’s all the way in, our pelvises flush.
“This pussy is ours,” he growls out possessively, and hearing Jax dirty talk is so fucking hot, my inner walls clench and flutter around him. “No one but us will ever touch you again, Baby Girl.” His eyes are fierce with the fire of his promise.
Holding my gaze, he starts slowly moving in and out of me, teasing me. My gaze flits over his shoulder to see Loki standing there, rubbing lube over his erect dick, and my breath catches at the sight.
Jax turns his head to see what’s caught my attention. Looking back, he gives me a wolfish grin, before picking me up and turning us around, so that his back is to the counter, both hands back under my arse, holding me up as I’m speared on his huge cock.
His hands spread my cheeks apart, just as I feel Loki come up behind me, one of his lubed fingers rubbing over my puckered hole.
“This ass belongs to us,” he says against my ear, one finger dipping inside my tight back hole.
An animalistic sound leaves my lips as Jax starts to move again. Loki pushes a second finger in, and I gasp at the fullness, my nails digging into Jax’s neck. Loki’s fingers pump in and out in time with Jax’s movements, sending delicious shivers across my body.
Jax stills when Loki pulls his fingers out, and my pussy clenches around his cock at the withdrawal, a deep groan sounding in his throat. I feel the pierced tip of Loki’s dick as he starts to press inside me, and my eyes feel like they roll to the back of my fucking head with how incredible it feels. I love this fullness, of having them both inside me at once. I’ve missed it so much.
“We own you, Pretty Girl,” Loki tells me in a strained whisper, once he’s fully seated, his hips flush with my arse cheeks.
“Ours,” Jax growls out, squeezing my arse hard enough that I know I’ll have bruises come the morning.
“Yours,” I gasp out in agreement as they both start to move in perfect unison.
Loki’s hands are on my waist, holding me still as he and Jax take their pleasure, whilst giving me mine in return. It’s almost too much, I can barely breathe through the intense sensation of having both of them thrusting in and out of me.
One of Loki’s hands leaves my waist, gliding up my body. He pauses at my breast, pinching my nipple hard, and I cry out, my inner walls fluttering around Jax.
“Now open your eyes, Pretty Girl, and look at Jax while I wrap my hand around your throat,” Loki commands in a husky tone.
I do as he says, watching Jax as I feel Loki’s hand come up around my throat, squeezing just this side of painfully. Jax’s piercing blue eyes rage with a lust crazed fire, and he starts pounding hard into me, the sight of his friend choking me undoing him.
“See what you do to him, Lilly?” Loki asks teasingly, tightening his fingers a little more until I’m struggling to breathe. It tips me over the edge, and I spiral into a soul stealing orgasm, raking bloody furrows down Jax’s arms.
Jax curses as my cunt clamps around his dick in a vice like grip, milking his release from him.
“My turn, Pretty Girl,” Loki coos in my ear, and then he starts pounding hard into my arse, soon pushing me into another screaming climax.
“Fuck! That’s it! Keep coming for me, baby,” he orders, his other hand leaving my waist and rubbing my over sensitive clit, leaving Jax to support my weight while I whimper and cry out.
“Loki, I can’t…” I beg, the waves of pleasure becoming too much.
“Yes, you can,” he says as he keeps pounding into me, leaning his head down and using the hand still wrapped around my throat, he tips mine to the side. Without warning, he bites down, the pain flashing through me before pleasure sears my insides, and I explode once more.
Seconds later, I hear him curse my name as his dick hardens even further and he comes, buried to the hilt in my ass, and filling me with his hot release.
We stay connected together, breathing each other in, and my heart mends a little bit more, my soul beginning to stitch back together.
