I wake up sandwiched between two hot bodies, surrounded by the smell of vanilla cookies, lemon drizzle cake, and musky man.
God, I’ve missed this!
I lie there for a few moments, eyes blinking, as I recall all of the events of the past few days and nights. I feel at peace, like I’m exactly where I need to be, with exactly who I need to be with. I should feel all kinds of fucked up, but I don’t. Not anymore.
Gently extracting myself, a girl has to pee, I elicit a small grunt from Jax as I climb over him. Grabbing a t-shirt from the floor, Jax’s by the size and smell, I throw it on and head out of the door, padding down the hallway.
The delicious smell of bacon wafts up the stairs, and walking down them, I see that Kai is making breakfast. Or I guess, brunch.
He turns and smiles at me, and I can’t help but smile back. He’s not necessarily as devastatingly beautiful as the others, but he’s got that Disney prince look down. You know, the geeky one with the boy next door charm who is an animal in bed.
“Good morning,” he says as I walk up to him. He’s making pancakes by the looks of it, one hand holding a whisk and the other a bowl of pale batter.
“Good morning, Kai,” I say, leaning in and kissing him full on the lips.
I think I take him by surprise as his own lips don’t move for a second, then I hear the clatter of the whisk and bowl dropping on the countertop, right before his hands come up either side of my face, deepening the kiss. His tongue demands entrance, which I give willingly, morning breath be damned!
Pulling back slightly, he looks deep into my eyes, his honey brown ones full of lust, longing, and a touch of relief.
“Thank you for not giving up on us,” he whispers whilst his thumb strokes my face.
“Thank you for not giving up on me either,” I say softly back, and we both smile, sharing this sweet moment.
The smell of slightly burning bacon has Kai leaping towards the hob, pulling the pan off before cursing, and I giggle. He ends up laughing too, and it’s such a wonderfully free sound, I wish I could bottle it up and listen to it whenever I was feeling down.
“Come for a hike with me today, Lilly? I’d like to show you something,” he asks, looking into my eyes once again.
“I’d love nothing more,” I beam at him, and it’s true. A hike sounds perfect. “Just let me grab a shower, and I’ll be good to go.”
“No rush,” he says ruefully, indicating the pan of charred meat. “I’ll make us breakfast to go.”
Half an hour or so later, I’m ready to go, Ash, Loki and Jax still fast asleep upstairs.
As Kai and I walk out of the academy’s back doors, the warm sunshine hits my face, and I pause, closing my eyes and soaking it in. There’s a definite chill in the air, but the sun goes some way to make up for it. A smile lifts my lips, this truly is a remarkable place.
Opening my eyelids, I find Kai standing in front of me, a look of almost wonder in his gaze.
“What?” I ask, smiling up at him. My lips seem to be permanently tilted upwards today, I can’t stop the expression.
He reaches out, cupping my jaw in his warm, dry palm. I nuzzle in, loving the feel of it.
“You have no idea how precious you are, Lilly,” he says, his voice melodic and soft. “You are full of a light that draws us in like moths to a flame, and we would willingly burn in the depths just for a single taste.”
His words send my pulse skyrocketing, and I melt in his hands as his thumb traces my lips before he leans in, placing a gentle kiss on them. He pulls back before it can get deeper, giving me a knowing smile that’s more suited to Loki.
“Let’s go,” he says, taking my hand in his.
We head off campus into the surrounding woods, the calm and tranquility just what I needed after the last couple of days. Hell, the last couple of weeks have been crazy, and my hand tightens on Kai’s, thinking about that dark time when I was all alone without their comfort.
A thought occurs to me then, and although I hate to break the peace that surrounds us, it won’t go away, buzzing in my head like a wasp.
“Kai?” I ask tentatively as he leads me up the trail. He’s slightly ahead of me, but still has a firm grip on my hand.
“Yes, Lilly?” he says, looking back at me.
“Can I ask you a question? About you guys and…the cabin?” I see his shoulders stiffen slightly, and his steps slow so that he’s by my side.
He sighs. “I will answer anything you want to know, Lilly. If it’s in my power to do so, and if it’s my story to tell,” he replies.
I take a deep breath. “Last night, you all acted so in tune with each other, like you’ve done that sort of thing a million times before…” I taper off when I see the pained look in his eyes, his hand now gripping my own tightly.
“That’s because we have done that sort of thing before. We’ve done terrible things, Lilly,” he tells me, his tone weary. “But we’ve had little choice,” he adds quietly, and I stop us, turning to face him. I use my hand to bring his face up so that he is once more looking at me.
His eyes are full of pain, and shadows of a past that have left scars on his soul. I know in another life, a kinder life, Kai would be the same gentle soul he is, just without the nightmares in his eyes.
“Hey, I know you guys had no choice. That you still don’t have much of a choice. I don’t blame you for what you’ve been forced to do, Kai,” I say, and a flicker of hope and relief enters his gaze.
“You are too good for us, Lilly,” he breathes.
“No, I think we’re just right for each other,” I say with a gentle expression, and the smile that lights up his face causes fireworks to explode in my heart.
We stay staring into each other’s eyes until Kai breaks the contact, resuming our walk and tugging me gently along with him.
“How…how did you learn how to do it?” I ask, needing to understand more of how they came to be the guys I see today.
Another sigh leaves his lips. “That night, when Loki turned fourteen…” he begins, but I interrupt him.
“It was Loki’s birthday?!” I exclaim. I know he’s referring to the night their fathers and his uncle took them to the cabin.
“He’s the youngest of us and turned fourteen that day,” Kai says sadly, and my eyes fill with tears, my heart breaking once again for what these boys have been through.
“Well, think of that night as the kick start of our training,” Kai continues. “After that, we were expected to learn our various roles and crafts.” Kai’s nose wrinkles at this. “We would be taken to the training camp, which is at the back of the cabin, every weekend and school holidays and put through our paces both physically and mentally. Jax even spent time in South Africa learning how to be a medic so that he could keep people alive while he…” he trails off, but I know what he is referring to. So Jax could torture people better, longer.
“Mentally?” I ask, dreading the answer.
“Have you noticed how the others are always playing music?” he queries, turning to look at me.
I nod. It was definitely something I’d spotted, but not thought too much about, as I love listening to music too.
“One of the ways we were conditioned was to be put in isolation. A white, padded, soundproof room with no windows. We’d be kept in there for hours, sometimes days. Poor Loki was once in there for over a week when his parents went abroad and forgot about him.” Kai’s eyes are full of anger as he recalls the memory. “The guys were left in utter silence the whole time, so now they can’t bear it.”
My soul aches at hearing this. How can their parents be so cruel?
“And you?” I ask softly as we make our way along the path, still side by side. “You don’t listen to music as much as they do.”
“My uncle went the opposite way with me and played only very loud thrash metal,” he says with a shiver. “I still can’t listen to it after all of this time.”
Suddenly, I feel freezing, as if the sun is no longer in the sky. I can see it shining through gaps in the trees, but this is a cold that is on the inside, and I’m not sure it’ll ever warm up.
“Oh, Kai,” I say in a choked voice. My heart bleeds for them all.
“Hey,” he says, stopping and taking my other hand in his. “It’s okay, Lilly.”
“It’s not okay. How can it be okay?” I almost sob, and I feel hot tears tracking down my face.
His thumbs come to brush them away, then he pulls me in close, surrounding me with his fresh woodsy scent. It’s different from the forest that surrounds us. He smells like grass and leaves after the rain, and it soothes me, despite my heart still hurting.
“I wish I could get you away from them,” I murmur into his chest, my hands grasping his thick padded jacket.
“You don’t need to worry about that, Lilly,” Kai says. “We won’t be under their rule forever. Trust me.” And I look up into his eyes, realising that I do trust him. I trust them all unequivocally.
I nod, too full of sadness for the boys that lost their early teens to monsters, to be able to speak.
We head off again, and soon approach a clearing in the trees. My mouth hangs open as we get nearer. Surrounded by trees all around is a rocky pool that looks like it’s steaming.
I look at Kai who’s smiling broadly now, his gaze on me.
“Welcome to Highgate Springs,” he tells me, dropping his backpack and undoing his jacket.
“Kai! What are you doing?” I ask. I mean, I know what it looks like he’s doing. It looks like he’s taking his clothes off.
“Getting in, of course,” he says with a boyish grin, laying his jacket on a large rock.
“Kai, it’s fucking freezing!” I say, pointing to our feet. “And there’s snow on the ground!” We had a small flurry last night that was melted by the academy, but obviously, the sun hasn’t reached it here in the middle of the forest.
“Yes, there is,” he agrees calmly as he pulls off his black jumper. He’s still in his jeans, hiking boots, and a grey t-shirt, which he pulls off next, in that sexy guy way, and my breath hitches.
It’s then that I realise his glasses are missing. “Kai, where are your glasses?” I question, my brow furrowing when he reaches into his bag, pulling out what looks like lengths of red silk. He tucks these into his back pocket then walks towards me.
“Don’t worry, Lilly,” he says with a devilish smile that I’m not used to seeing on his face. “I’ve got contacts in, so I can see you perfectly,” he tells me, continuing to stalk towards me with a predatory gleam in his eyes.
“Do you remember your safe word?” he asks, standing in front of me, his voice dropping an octave lower, and I shiver inside my big coat.
“Yes,” I breathe, anticipation lighting in my stomach.
“Yes, what?” he probes, raising one of his brows.
“Yes, sir,” I say obediently. I love this side of Kai, and it gets me hot as all hell.
“Tell me what it is, Lilly,” he whispers, a long finger tracing down the side of my face.
“Red,” I reply, licking my bottom lip. His gaze catches on the movement, his nostrils flaring.
“Good.” He reaches for the zip on my coat, undoing it, then takes it off me, lying it on a rock next to us, before reaching for my red wool jumper.
“Kai, what…” I begin, stopping when his head snaps up, and he looks at me with a frown.
“Did I say you could speak?” he asks, his voice hard, making my thighs clench. I shake my head. “Arms up then,” he orders, and I obey so that he can pull the garment up over my head, placing it with my jacket.
He untucks my long-sleeved top from my high-waisted fifties-style jeans, before pulling that over my head too. Goosebumps erupt over my skin as the cold air caresses it, my nipples hardening to points in my pink lacy bra.
Reaching into the back pocket of his jeans, he takes out one length of silk.
“I’m going to put this around your eyes, Lilly. If at any point it gets to be too much, say ‘red’ and we stop,” he tells me, waiting for my nod, before stepping around me so that he’s facing my back.
Anticipation makes me breathless as he lifts the silk over my head, placing it in front of my eyes and plunging me into darkness. I gasp as suddenly my other senses are heightened tenfold. I can hear the bubble of the spring, some birds chirping nearby, and the creaking and groaning of the trees all around us. I can feel the cold breeze dancing across my skin, and I shiver, even though I feel like I’m burning on the inside. The feel of the knot at the back of my head being tightened makes me moan aloud.
I startle slightly when Kai’s fingers alight on the clasp of my bra, unhooking it and helping to guide it off me. I feel his warm body move, leaving my back exposed to the frigid air as he comes around to my front. Seconds later I feel the button on my jeans pop open and hear the zipper being undone.
He reaches for my hands, placing them on his muscular shoulders, then he brings my foot up onto his knee, and starts unlacing my boot. Taking it off, then my thick sock, he carefully places my bare foot back on the cold stone before doing the same to the other foot. I feel a tug on my hips as he takes my jeans down, leaving me wearing nothing but a pink thong and a red blindfold. I hear a sound of appreciation, before feeling his warmth along the front of my body once again.
He grasps my wrists, bringing them together in front of me.
“Hold them there,” he orders.
The brush of silk makes me gasp as he wraps a length around my wrists a couple of times. It then feels as though he’s knotting the silk, gliding it between my wrists before tying it off.
I’m fucking panting. Who knew being blindfolded and tied up was so hot?!
“You okay, Lilly?” he asks. He still hasn’t given me permission to speak, so once again, I nod. “Good girl,” he praises, and I swear I feel a drip slide down my inner thigh at the pleased tone he uses.
Letting go of my wrists, I hear the thud of what I think are his jeans and boots, then the rustle of a condom packet opening. Moments later, his warmth is back, burning me everywhere our naked bodies touch.
“Arms up, Lilly, and place them around my neck,” his voice commands.
It’s deeper than usual, telling me just how much he is enjoying this. I do as he says, his hands guiding my arms, then feel his arm sweep under my knees as he picks me up, bridal style.
He starts walking, and I begin to feel warm tendrils of air caressing my body as we move closer to the spring. I can’t help squirming in his arms, trying to get closer.
“Keep still,” he orders firmly, and I do as he says, stilling at once.
I hear the gentle splash of his feet as he wades into the water, gasping as he goes deeper and I feel the warmth against my own skin. It’s at the point where it’s almost too hot, perfect with the cold air playing across my exposed skin. He gently sets me down on a flat rock so that the water is just tickling the underside of my thighs, leaving my torso above the hot water.
“Do you feel the cold air playing across your skin?” he asks in a low melodic voice. “You can speak.”
“Yes, sir,” I whisper, groaning as I feel his fingers start to tickle over and around my breasts, avoiding my nipples, leaving me squirming and panting.
I gasp loudly as I feel a hot mouth cover one nipple, and he pinches the other hard between his fingers, sending tendrils of pleasure spiraling to my core, and my cunt flutters. He releases his assault to bite up my breast and the column of my neck, claiming me and marking me as his.
I can feel him hard and naked in between my legs, pressed up against my lace covered centre and the almost contact is driving me wild, making me buck against him in a bid for more.
“I want to mark every inch of this perfect skin, Lilly,” Kai says, voice raspy, as if it’s taking a great effort to hold back.
“Please, sir, I need more,” I beg, and I would laugh at the Oliver reference, but I’m wound too tight for that shit.
Maddeningly slowly, I feel his fingers tickle up my inner thigh, taking the edge of my thong and moving it to one side to expose me. I can feel the very tip of him at my opening, the bubbling hot water caressing my sensitive clit.
“You would test a monk’s sanity,” I hear him grumble as he starts to push inside me.
His piercings rub my inner walls in the most delicious way, and I’m already crying out before he’s even fully seated.
“I’m no fucking monk, Lilly,” he groans, and hearing him curse winds me even tighter, it’s so unusual for him. I love the effect I have on him, on all of the guys.
“This is going to be hard and fast,” he warns milliseconds before he pulls almost all the way out, and then slams back inside me being true to his word, and I scream his name.
He keeps up this punishing pace, his hands gripping my hips for purchase. The water churns around us, and the mix of hot and cold on my skin, plus having my eyes covered and wrists bound, brings my orgasm on so suddenly, and so forcefully, that I can only scream wordlessly into the open air.
His pace doesn’t falter, keeping my orgasm going until I feel wrung out and spent. Before I come down completely from my high, I feel his teeth graze my neck, then bite down hard, sending me into another soul destroying orgasm. Seconds later, I hear him groan out loud, finding his own release inside me.
He reaches up to untie the silk around my eyes, the daylight blinding me for a moment when I open them.
“I take it you enjoyed that and didn’t get too cold?” Kai asks me, a relaxed smile on his lips. I chuckle, making him groan as he’s still inside me.
“Abso-fucking-lutely!” I smirk back, the endorphins making me feel a little giddy.
“Good,” he says, finally pulling out of me, making my breath hiss just a little. “Next time, I’ll tie you to my bed. I have a feeling you’d like that even more.” His voice is husky, and even though I’ve just orgasmed twice, Her Vagisty clenches at the thought.
There’s just no satisfying some vaginas.
His fingers go to the silk binding my wrists, which has gotten a little wet, and looks like it may have to be cut off because the knot appears unmovable. He tugs one part, and the whole lot comes undone, leaving me gaping.
“How the fuck did you do that?!” I exclaim, moving my wrists now they’re finally free.
There’s a faint red mark where the silk was tied, and I find that I like it. A lot. I like being marked by them. Looking down my chest, I can see his teeth marks in a line snaking up to my throat, which no doubt has a set of teeth marks in it too, if the throbbing is anything to go by.
“They look very beautiful on you,” Kai says, his hand coming into view and brushing the marks with his long fingers. “Dip under the water, it’ll help ease the throbbing of the one on your neck,” he orders gently.
“Yes, sir,” I say cheekily, seeing heat flare in the depths of his eyes. The sun hits them so that I can see a spectrum of browns, from the darkest molasses to the lightest of wild honeys.
He steps from between my legs, turning around to let me off the stone ledge and wade deeper into the water. I gasp as his back comes into view, and I see a magnificent black and orange koi carp tattoo that covers him from his shoulder right down over one arse cheek.
“Kai, how did I not know that you had such a beautiful tattoo?” I ask, in awe of the piece.
It ripples like it’s actually moving in water, and I can’t help but reach out and touch it. Kai stiffens as my fingers brush it, and I realise too late my mistake. Tears prick my eyes as I guide my hand over his back, feeling ridges and furrows that have nothing to do with art.
“Kai…” my voice catches on a sob, “what happened?”
Although, I can take a pretty good guess given all that he has told me. His chest heaves as he takes in a breath.
“My uncle thought that I was too soft. That I needed toughening up,” he confides, voice devoid of any emotion. “That was his solution.”
I can’t help the sob that escapes me. Their story just keeps getting worse, and I don’t know how they lived through it. How they keep living through it.
Kai turns back around, the water swirling around him, pulling me to his naked body, and holding me as I weep into his chest. He makes soothing noises, saying platitudes until my tears stop.
“I’m so sorry, Kai,” I say, my voice rough as I look up at him. “I wish there was something I could do to take it away or to make it better.” I feel so useless.
“You have a soul of pure light, Lilly Darling. It’s why we’re all drawn to you, we are desperate to bathe in your goodness and cover ourselves from head to toe in your brilliance.” He looks intently into my eyes as he says this, his own eyes full of need.
“I would give it all to you to take the pain away,” I whisper. “My soul is yours, Kai. Every part of me belongs to you, the light and the dark. I love you.”
Tears track down my cheeks as I bare myself to him completely. I mean every word, I would give my very soul if it would help to free them from the binds that their families have wrapped around them. I know that it sounds insane, but I feel like they are it for me. We were made for each other, all five of us, and it’s crazy and unconventional, but it’s also as natural as breathing.
“Lilly,” he replies, his voice choking. “I was lost until you walked into our lives like a spring breeze after the harshest winter. From that first night, I knew my life would never be the same again. You make all of the shit, everything we’ve been through, worth it. And I’d go through it all again, just to get to this point and have you here in my arms.”
My heart feels so full, I don’t know how my body is still containing it.
“We’ve belonged to each other since the moment of our conception, Lilly Darling. And we are never letting you go.”
