“SHAWN!”
“Coach Holmes, over here.”
“Oh my god, he looks so hot. And so does she. Talk about the ultimate power couple.”
I keep my arm around Lacey and lead her up the sidewalk toward the hotel. The mob of fans has grown, and I want her close by my side. I doubt anyone is going to do something stupid at a Christmas party on a Wednesday night, but I’m not taking any chances.
I stop us in front of a small group of reporters, and I smile at them. “Thanks for coming out tonight,” I say. “We only have a minute before we need to head inside. There’s talk of a nacho bar, and I’m a sucker for anything with queso on it.”
Lacey’s shoulders shake, and I glance down to find her laughing. She tries to cover it up with a cough, but it’s obvious she has something to say.
“Sorry,” she whispers. “Forget the champagne in your apartment. I’m picturing you walking around with a bag of Taco Bell at midnight.”
“I fucking love Taco Bell,” I whisper back. “The BellGrande nachos are my favorite.”
“Another installment in my NFL coaches: they’re just like us series.”
“Ms. Daniels,” a reporter says, and Lacey whips her head to the right. “This is your first official outing with Coach Holmes. What are you looking forward to tonight?”
“Um.” Lacey’s posture straightens, and she lifts her chin. “I’m excited to spend time with the team and learn about the toy drive they’re doing for the holidays. There’s a list of drop-off locations on the Titans’ website where people can donate gifts for children in need this holiday season. I encourage everyone to check out the information, and to contribute if they can. Besides that, the guys are so fun. Any evening with them is a good time.”
“A kiss on national television is quite the way to announce your relationship. How have the last couple of weeks been?” someone else asks, and Lacey relaxes against me.
“Go big or go home, right? They’ve been great. Shawn’s absolutely wonderful. I’m sure you all see that, but he’s truly one of the good guys. We’re going to his parents’ house for Christmas, and I can’t wait to meet his family.”
“Shawn, any comment on the allegations that the San Diego Suns have been stealing signs from other teams in the league?” Marcus Monroe asks, and I frown.
“I haven’t heard any details about the allegations yet, so I don’t want to speculate, but there’s no room for cheating in sports. Play fair, or don’t play at all,” I say.
“What’s it like dating a woman who’s not used to being in the spotlight? Has that been an adjustment?”
“I like that Lacey is outside of the sports world, because I can go home and be myself with her. I can shut off the work talk and have a normal life. I’m not sure how many of you all know this, but she’s a pediatrician, and she’s incredible at what she does. I’ve popped in to visit her at work, and to see her in action and interacting with the kids shows she’s so passionate about her career. If you’re looking for another cause to donate to this holiday season, the hospital that’s the parent company of her office could use your help with funding. I’ll put a link up on my social media later tonight,” I say. I glance over my shoulder and see the team starting to congregate in the lobby of the hotel. “If you’ll excuse us, Lacey and I are excited to spend the evening with the best guys in the league.”
A couple of other people try to ask us questions, but I lead Lacey inside. She pulls me into a small alcove tucked away from the hustle and bustle before we get very far.
“You didn’t have to say all those nice things about me,” she says. “Tonight is about your team.”
“What are you talking about? Of course I did. You’re here with me, and I want to brag about you. I’d say the same things if you weren’t here with me.”
“Thank you for mentioning the hospital. We need any kind of help we can get.”
“Hopefully you’ll get some traffic after tonight,” I say, and I nod toward her long peacoat. “Want me to take that for you? I can run it to coat check.”
“Sure.” Lacey sets her purse down on the windowsill and unties the knot at her waist. She shrugs off the outer layer and hands it to me. “Thanks.”
I stare at her, and my mouth goes dry.
Fuck, she looks beautiful.
The floor-length dress she’s wearing hugs her curves through her waist and hips, then fans out around her feet. I can see the hint of black heels and red toes, and I think I’m going to go into cardiac arrest.
I’m used to seeing Lacey in game day clothes. Casual things she wears when we’re at Maggie and Aiden’s and drinking beer on the couch or her scrubs. There’s been the occasional short sundress in the summer months when it’s stifling outside, something flowy and light to keep the heat at bay, but nothing this fancy.
It’s also the first time I’ve seen her since that night.
I’ve pictured her walking away from me while wearing my shirt for the past two days, but seeing her like this after fucking her into my mattress is an entirely new feeling.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I want her again.
Badly.
My eyes roam down her body, and I’m not being sly about checking her out. She knows it, too, because she rests her hand on her collarbone. Her fingers fan out over the top of her chest, and she smirks. She turns to the side so I can see the curve of her backside, and I have to bite my knuckles to keep from moaning.
Her fucking ass.
I didn’t get to appreciate it as much as I wanted to when we were together, but now I want to drop to my knees and worship it. I want to put her foot on my shoulder and run my hands over her cheeks. Slip my fingers into her underwear to see how wet she is and make her come apart.
“You look—” I swallow and clear my throat. “You look hot, Lace. Like a lot of trouble.”
“Yeah?” She reaches up and runs her nails down my neck. I’d like it if she ran them down my back, too. “Trouble can be good, you know.”
“I know, and you’re the best kind.” I grab her hand and kiss the inside of her palm. “Thank god I haven’t seen you in a dress like this before. I would’ve asked to hook up with you a lot earlier in our friendship and messed everything up.”
Lacey laughs. “There’s a waiting period before you can propose a one-time fuck with your friend. Gives you enough time to learn enough dirt on a person so you can blackmail them if they try to never talk to you again.”
“See? Trouble.” I tug her toward me, and her chest presses against mine. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.”
“What are fake girlfriends for?” she asks. “We should probably get in there. I see someone with a microphone, and we don’t want to slip in late. Don’t you have a speech to give?”
“Yeah, I do. Lead the way, Daniels,” I say, and I hand off her coat to a hotel staff member.
“You’re going to look at my ass again, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am. You can’t show up in an outfit like that and expect me to not check out your ass. For the record, it looks just as good with clothes as without, and I’m kind of wondering what it would look like with my handprint on your skin.”
“A high compliment.” Lacey pats my cheek and heads for the grand ballroom where the party is taking place. She glances at me over her shoulder, and I have to drag my attention away from her hips. “Oh, one more thing. It would look fucking fantastic with your handprint on it, but I guess we’ll never know, will we? Save me a dance, Holmes.”
This woman is going to kill me.
THE PARTY TURNS rowdy after I give my speech.
Music blares from the speakers, and handles of vodka are passed around. Dallas is standing on a table, and my defensive line have taken control of the DJ booth.
I’m hiding out in the back of the room, a pain in my head and a tightness in my chest. I need a minute away from all the noise, but it’s not much better over here.
I chug back the last sip of my beer and stand up, sliding out of the side entrance unnoticed and out into the hallway. There’s a door to my left, and I push it open to a parking lot.
I find a spot on the curb and sit down, stretching my legs out in front of me. The snow soaks through my pants, but I don’t care. It’s quiet out here under the stars, and I can breathe a sigh of relief in the cool night air.
Behind me, I hear the click-clack of high heels. I turn my head to the side, ready to hide behind a bush, when I spot Lacey walking toward me. She’s not wearing her jacket, and she rubs her hands up and down her arms.
“What are you doing out here?” she asks. She stops a few yards away from me and tilts her head to the side.
“I needed a minute. It was getting too loud in there for me. I felt…” I trail off and shake my head. Weak, is what I want to say, but I know my therapist doesn’t like that word. “I felt overwhelmed.”
“I understand.” She points at the spot next to me, the dirty sidewalk covered in salt and sand to keep snow from sticking to the concrete. “Can I join you?”
“I don’t want you to ruin your dress.” I take off my tuxedo jacket and set it on the curb. “But I’d love if you joined me.”
Lacey smiles and walks my way. She plops down beside me and scoots close. “The stars are pretty tonight,” she says.
“Yeah. They are.” I tip my head back to look at the sky. Snowflakes start to fall, and I shiver. “Are you having fun?”
“I was until I saw my date disappear.” She rests her head on my shoulder and loops her hands around my arms. “I was worried about you. Are you okay?”
I hesitate. The last time I talked about this with someone, it ended up all over the internet. It made me close off, keeping personal details to myself instead of divulging them to everyone who asks. I don’t owe anyone anything, but I know Lacey isn’t like that.
She’s asking because she genuinely cares, and she wants to make sure I’m alright. I’m not used to that feeling, and the tension in my chest loosens the longer she stays by my side.
“It felt like the beginning of a panic attack,” I explain, and I offer her a shrug. “It’s the second time it’s happened this season, and I don’t know what’s been going on lately.”
She hums and stares out at the parking lot. “I’m not a therapist, but I have an idea. Maybe it’s because you have a lot on your plate. The Titans have the best win streak of your career as head coach. You kissed your friend in front of seventy thousand people and you told your parents you’re bringing that same friend home for the holidays as your girlfriend, even though you aren’t really dating.” She pauses and chuckles softly. “What am I forgetting?”
“When you put it that way, it’s a wonder I haven’t fallen apart yet.” I laugh with her and put my chin on the top of her head. “Thanks for putting it in perspective. It’s good to see the big picture.”
“Just think: you only have a couple more weeks until we can stage a break up. You can go back to focusing just on football. The Titans will make the Super Bowl. I’ll get the promotion I want, and we’ll all live happily ever after,” Lacey says.
My smile dips into a frown. I know our agreement has an end date, a very obvious circle on the calendar that tells us when we’re going to part ways, but I’ve liked having Lacey around.
I guess Lacey’s always been around, but it’s fun to have someone to bring to events and to talk to late at night. It might stay like this when we walk away from each other, but it might not. She’ll have a boyfriend eventually, and I’ll probably have a girlfriend somewhere down the road. You can’t stay up and text your best friend until two in the morning when you have someone else sleeping beside you, can you?
“Why are you single?” I blurt out, and she pulls away to glance at me. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to shout it at you. You’re just… you’ve been great these last couple of weeks. Is there a reason you don’t date?”
“It’s not so much that I don’t date, but more like I don’t like to date.” She pushes her shoe into a melted pile of snow and moves the heel from side to side. “I’m going to say something that’s going to come across as incredibly narcissistic, and I don’t mean for it to sound that way.”
“Well, fuck, now you have to tell me,” I say. I turn my body so our knees press against each other, and I watch her, anxiously waiting to hear more. “Go on.”
“A lot of men are intimidated by my success and my career. And, I know I’m not a literal brain surgeon like Maggie, but even her ex-husband made comments from time to time about how he was supposed to be the breadwinner in the family, not her. I worked hard in school. I took out loans and paid them off. Now I’m making good money, and I shouldn’t be embarrassed by that. Men I’ve met have asked if I’d quit my job when I was ready to settle down. If I’ll stop working when I decide to have kids and start a family. That’s kind of bullshit, isn’t it?” Lacey asks, and there’s passion in her voice. “I’m a woman who makes two hundred thousand dollars a year. I’m smart and I’m successful. I don’t have time for boys who don’t see my worth and expect me to change to fit their needs.”
Lacey’s always been so sure of herself, conviction in all her conversations and no self-doubt with her decisions in life. It’s not that she’s a bragger or someone who can’t accept criticism; it’s more that she’s proud of herself, and she damn well should be.
“Good for you for recognizing your worth. The dudes that say that stuff to you get off on belittling women. It’s not a good look, and we’re not all like that. I promise. You deserved to be valued, Lacey, because you’re a fucking diamond.”
“I know you’re not all like that. Especially when I come here tonight with you and—” Lacey pauses and shakes her head. “Anyway. Why don’t you date? What skeletons do you have in your closet? You’re the nicest man I’ve ever met. You’re kind and compassionate, and you know how to make a girl feel good.”
“Ah.” I rest my elbows on my legs and stare straight ahead. “Guess it’s only fair. You showed me yours, now I have to show you mine.”
“Tit for tat. You’re safe to share your stories with me, Shawn.”
I am safe with her. Lacey makes me want to be myself—I don’t have to throw up a tough facade or pretend I’m someone I’m not. I can show the vulnerable parts of a man who’s still working on himself and trying to break the stereotypes associated with being an athlete.
‘I’ve been in the spotlight since I was ten years old,” I say. “Interviews, highlight reels, media days, a massive contract when I turned twenty. Whenever I meet someone, the first thing they see is Shawn Holmes: the football player. The tight end who won the Super Bowl a couple times and was part of a dynasty franchise. No one ever asks how I’m doing or what I’m going through. It’s always, hey, what happened in that game last night? Or, should’ve caught that ball, Holmes, and maybe you should’ve gotten your college degree and done something important with your life. Even women see how they could benefit from being with me; the monetary payoff. Brand deals. I’ve been careful about who I let get close because of that fear of not being loved for me, but being loved for what I bring to the table. I didn’t think that was possible until I met you. You don’t give a shit about how much money I make or if my team wins or loses. Yeah, you support me and want me to do well in my career, but it’s different with you. You’re one of the only people who sees me as a person, which has always been my dream. And that… that makes me feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world,” I whisper.
“You are a person, Shawn, and I do see you,” Lacey says. She crawls into my lap and holds me in her arms. “You’re not more than me because you have a Super Bowl ring and millions of dollars in your bank account, and you’re not less than me because you didn’t go to medical school and dropped out of college after your junior year. You have hopes and dreams and fears. And, sure, you’re a popular guy with a famous last name people talk about on the news sometimes. But do you know how I know you? You’re not the guy under the stadium lights or running back a touchdown. To me, you’re Maven’s godfather. You’re the guy who bought her tampons when she was on her period and lets her paint your nails. You’re the guy who treats my best friend like she’s your sister and welcomed her with open arms when you realized how head over heels she is for your best friend. You’re a loving son who cares about his family, and you’re a man with a good heart and a good soul who desperately wants to do good in this world.” She touches my cheeks, and her hands are ice cold. “Anyone who doesn’t see what’s beneath the jersey and headset is missing out. You are the most perfect person I’ve ever met, and I’m so lucky to have you in my corner.”
I look at Lacey, and it hits me square in the chest.
She’s my favorite person in the entire world.
I don’t know what I’m thinking when I take her hands in mine. When I lift her chin and press my lips to hers, just that I want to.
I have to.
I need Lacey Daniels like I need oxygen.
She sighs against my mouth and kisses me back, and I’m warm all over.
“Does this count as breaking our rules?” I ask, and I dip my chin to trail a set of kisses down her neck.
“No, this doesn’t count. We can be friends who kiss, right?” Her hands clutch my collar, and she drops her head back. “Platonic kissing buddies.”
“In that case, you’re the best buddy I’ve ever had,” I murmur into her shoulder. She pulls on my hair, and I kiss the skin under the thin strap of her dress. “Fuck, I want you.”
“Kissing only,” she says, but she grinds against me. She lifts her dress and I can feel her. Hot and wet and trying to touch me everywhere.
“You sure make kissing fun.”
“We should stop.”
“Okay,” I agree, and I bury my face in her cleavage. “We’ll stop.”
“In a minute.”
“I’ve heard that before,” I say, and my hands move over the swell of her ass. “We really should stop, though, because there are cameras everywhere, and the last thing we need is you on some gossip website without your dress on. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started this.”
“I’ll share the blame. I climbed in your lap.”
“Equally guilty parties.” I stand up and set her on the ground. “Let’s head back inside. Your fingers are turning blue.”
“I’m okay.” A snowflake hangs on the tip of her nose, and she doesn’t look the least bit cold. “You still owe me a dance.”
“We don’t have any music,” I say, and Lacey shrugs.
“That’s okay. We can make our own music.”
I take her hand in mine and pull her close. I wrap her in my arms to try to warm her up. She rests her head on my chest and we sway side to side.
“Really, though,” I whisper in her ear. “I’m lucky to have you in my life, Lacey girl. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for seeing me. You make me happy.”
“You make me happy too, Shawn. I’m always going to see you, even when you have trouble seeing yourself. In your dark moments, I’ll be there. Don’t ever forget that.”
We dance until the snow accumulates on the ground around us, and I’ve never been more at peace.
