I CLIMB into bed with a glass of red wine and my vibrator.
After a long day at work, I need some self-care.
I love what I do, but sometimes the hours get to me. Today was one of those afternoons, another shift where we were understaffed and had a waiting room full of kids who needed to be seen. I stayed late to finish up the last appointments, and I’m glad to be off my feet.
I settle back against my pillows and take a sip of my drink before setting it down on the bedside table. I grab my vibrator and smile as I hold the toy in my hand. I’ve been worked up since the Titans’ Christmas party when I climbed into Shawn’s lap. It was another mistake, and I seem to be on a kick of making poor decisions.
He’s out of town this weekend for an away game though, so at the very least I can behave myself until he gets home Sunday night.
I click on the toy and move it slowly over the silk tank top I put on after my bubble bath. I drag it across my nipples and sigh. I like sex, but I’ve always loved foreplay so much more. It’s intimate, a chance to get to know your partner and learn what they like.
So many people rush toward the end goal, but I like being teased. Being brought close to the edge yet not falling totally over. I like when someone takes their time with me. Touches me everywhere and savors me.
Like Shawn did.
No.
I’m not allowed to think about him.
I shake my head and clear my mind. Pleasure pricks my skin as I move the toy down my stomach. When I bring it to the front of my silk shorts on the lowest setting, I moan as I find the spot I like the most.
I’m pulled from the moment when my phone rings on the mattress beside me. I let out a frustrated sound and grab it off the bed, seeing Shawn’s name on the screen.
“Shit.” I click off the toy and set it next to my wine. “Hey,” I answer, and I hope I don’t sound out of breath. “How’s Cleveland?”
“Boring,” he says. “The best part of this town is a restaurant where you can build your own tacos. I had seven for lunch.”
“You didn’t make it to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? That’s like a cultural landmark.”
“Already been. I can only learn about the history of the Rolling Stones so many times.”
“True.” I laugh and prop myself up on an elbow. “The fourth or fifth time might make you a groupie.”
“Exactly. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“Isn’t Cleveland in the same time zone as D.C.?”
“Yeah, it is, but if you’ve had a day like me, you’d feel like it was midnight, too.”
“No. I just got in bed with a glass of wine. What happened? Is everything okay?”
“Dallas’ leg is bothering him, so he might be out on Sunday. Jett has food poisoning, and he barfed his brains out on the flight over. I’ll be shocked if he can play. One of my assistant coaches admitted to me they’re in a relationship with a player on another NFL team, and my mother keeps trying to get me—us, I guess—to come down a day earlier when I can’t,” Shawn says. “It’s just… when it rains, it pours.”
“Shit.” I sit up and cross my legs. “What does that mean for your assistant coach? Are players allowed to date coaches?”
“Nope. Definitely not allowed. It’s antiquated, but those are the rules. We’re trying to figure out how to handle it going forward, but she’s scared, and that sucks. You have to pick between the person you love or your job? Everyone’s a consenting adult. Who cares who’s fucking who?” He sighs, and I swear I can feel his exhale through the phone. “Sorry. I don’t mean to unload all of this on you.”
“You’re not unloading; you’re telling me about your day. That’s what friends do.”
“Thanks, Lace. Enough about me. How was your day?” he asks.
“Fine, yeah. I had a long day at work, but nothing too terrible. I made some pasta for dinner, took a bubble bath, now I’m in bed with a glass of wine and—” I stop short of mentioning my toy. “And it’s the perfect night.”
“Sounds like it. Any fun plans this week?”
“This week is so busy. There’s game night with Maggie and Aiden and the hospital gala.”
“Then it’s almost time for our trip.”
“You’re coming to game night, right? I know we lose every week, but I can’t be the third wheel with the lovebird couple.”
“I’ll be there. Those two are really obsessed with each other, aren’t they? And to think, we’re the ones who kind of set them up.”
“Imagine if you didn’t volunteer Aiden for that photo shoot,” I say.
“And imagine if you didn’t encourage Maggie to flirt with him. He was over the moon when she gave him attention.”
“It makes me happy. They’re both good people, and I’m glad they found each other. We make fun of them, but I think they have what we’re all searching for, right? True love and someone who would set the world on fire for us. That’s special.” I sigh, and I’m sure I sound like a kid reading a fairy tale. Caught up in the idea of a happily ever after I’m not sure I’ll ever have. “This got really deep, didn’t it?”
Shawn laughs. “Yeah, it did. I’m happy for them, too, though. Those two are going to last forever.”
“Hang on. Let me grab my wine and we can toast to them.” I reach over and lift my glass off the bedside table. As I do, I knock my vibrator to the floor and it turns on. “Dammit.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
“It sounded like something. Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine. All good over here.”
“Are you sure? It was pretty loud.”
“It’s my vibrator,” I blurt out. “It, uh, fell when I was getting my wine.”
The other end of the phone is quiet. I down half my wine before shoving the glass aside. I think Shawn might have hung up, but then I hear his breathing hitch.
“Were you using it?” he asks, and his voice takes on a different tone.
It’s lower now, and silky smooth. It matches what he sounded like that night, and I’m transported back to his penthouse apartment, his hand around my neck and his mouth everywhere.
“I was before you called,” I whisper.
“Why’d you stop?”
“I couldn’t exactly keep going when I was talking to you.”
Shawn is quiet again before he says, “you could use it.”
“W-what?”
“You could use it with me on the phone.”
“I’m—that’s…” I take a deep breath and close my eyes. “You want me to?”
“It wouldn’t go against our agreement, would it?” he asks, and I flop back against my pillows. “I’m not the one doing it to you. You are.”
I squirm on the sheets as I listen to his loophole, and I like the logic. “Okay. Do you want to watch?”
“Fuck,” he breathes out, and it’s a strangled word. “I’d love to watch.”
“Hang on.”
I chug the rest of my drink and grab the toy. We’ve already seen each other naked; what’s one more time? I FaceTime Shawn, and he answers right away.
“Hey.”
The room is dark, but there’s a lamp somewhere off camera that makes his skin look golden and soft. He’s shirtless and his hair is wet; he must’ve just gotten out of the shower.
I’ve never had phone sex with someone before, but this is Shawn. I can trust him.
“Hi.”
“You look pretty tonight,” he says, and his eyes bounce across the screen.
“Thank you.” I angle the camera so he can see my legs, and I bring the toy to my chest. “I wish you were here,” I say, and I blush as the admission slips out of me.
“I wish I was too. Are you going to show me what we’d be doing if I was with you?” Shawn asks, and hell, that’s hot as sin.
“We’d be doing a lot of things if you were with me.”
He leans out of the frame for a second before popping back up. He flips his camera and I can see the front of his sweatpants. “I’m already hard.”
“I want to watch you, too. Can I watch you come?” I ask.
“You can have whatever you want. We can get off together.”
“What do you like best? Do you want to see me? Do you just want to see the toy?”
“I want you to do whatever you feel comfortable with, Lacey girl. I want to see you take care of your pussy the way you know I would if I was there. But we both know I’m better than a toy,” he says.
“You are.” I nod and prop the phone on the bedside table against the bottle of wine. I pull off my top and bottoms, not wasting any time, and I’m naked in front of him. Shawn flips his screen so I can see his face again, and he looks anguished. Like he’d climb through the screen to get to me if he could. “I like to tease myself.”
“You like when the guy works for it. You love to be touched, don’t you?” he asks as his hand disappears, and I know he’s touching himself.
“Yes.” I click on the toy and circle my nipples with it. I remember what he said the other night about something he wanted to try, and I push my breasts together and run the vibrator up and down in my cleavage. “This is what it would look like with your cock,” I say.
“Fuck, that’s hot. I’m bigger than that, but we’d make it work, wouldn’t we? I fit in your tight pussy just fine.”
I nod and bring the toy to my clit. I moan as I move it in a small circle, and the vibrations run through my body like live wires. “It feels so good, Shawn.”
“Can you come a little closer to the camera? I want to see how wet you are,” he rasps, and I crawl across the mattress.
“Is that better?” I ask, and he nods.
“Yeah, Lacey girl, that’s perfect. You’re so perfect. Look at you already wetting that toy. You’re needy tonight, aren’t you?”
“I’ve been thinking about this all day.” I click up the speed, and my legs spread wider across the mattress. “I’ve been thinking about you, too.”
“What about me? How you wish I was buried inside of you? You know we can’t.”
“That’s why I want to,” I say, and I feel the beginning of my climax within reach. “I want what I can’t have.”
“Can you lie on your back for me, pretty girl, and spread your legs nice and wide?” Shawn asks, and I blush. “Remember when you did that on my couch? I liked seeing you like that.”
“I’ll do anything for you.” My back rests on the bed, and I scoot toward the phone. “Do you like what you see now?”
“I’m fucking obsessed with what I see. How do you like to get off? Do you use your fingers? Do you fuck yourself and get nice and deep?”
I slide two fingers inside of myself, and I arch off the bed. “It feels so good, Shawn. God, I wish you were here. You get much deeper than I can.”
“I’d like to watch you like this when I’m right next to you. Your fingers and a toy. I could play with your tits. You could suck on my dick, too. Would you like that?”
“I’d love that. I want to taste you. I didn’t get a chance to.” I increase my rhythm, and I’m so close. “I need to come, Shawn.”
“You can come, Lacey girl. You’ve been so good,” he says, and his praise notches its way down my spine. “I’ve loved watching you. I want you to come first, then I will after, okay? Can you let me see how good you make yourself feel?”
The orgasm overtakes me. I feel it from my head to my toes, and I writhe on the bed as wave after wave of pleasure and ecstasy roll through me.
“There you go. You’re such a good girl for letting me watch. Fuck, you’re getting your sheets all wet, aren’t you?” Shawn says.
Another round of nirvana zips through me with his words, and I hold the toy against my clit until my legs stop shaking. I toss the vibrator away and lay on my back, panting as a bead of sweat rolls down my cheek.
“Wow,” I breathe out.
“You okay?” Shawn asks, and I sit up. I give him a lazy, satisfied smile, and he chuckles. “You’re just fine.”
“It’s your turn,” I say. I grab my phone off the table and lay on my side. “Unless you already—”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t. I was waiting for you.”
He flips his camera, and I see his hard length. He got rid of his sweatpants, and he’s stroking himself. I lean forward and frown.
“What are you holding?”
“Your underwear from the other night,” he says, and I almost come again.
“That’s hot,” I whisper. “You brought them with you?”
“Yeah. Wanted to get off to you.”
I watch as he wraps the lace around his cock and moves his hand up and down. “God, you’re so big.”
“I stretched you out the other night, didn’t I? You took me so well, though, Lacey girl. Every fucking inch.”
I’m entranced by his movements and the way he knows exactly what he likes. Quick jerks of his wrist that have his hips lifting off the bed. “Are you thinking about me, Shawn? Are you thinking about how good it felt to come inside me?”
“Fuck,” he grunts. “Yeah, I am. I’m not going to last much longer.”
“You know I don’t care about that.” I push my breasts together, and he makes a sound from the back of his throat. “I just care that you fill me up.”
“Lacey,” he says, and it’s like a warning. As if he’s got me by the hair and is about to finish down my throat. “You’re incredible.”
“Look how good you are, Shawn. Such a good boy for me. Do you want to come?”
“Please,” he begs, and I smile.
“Let me watch. Pretend I’m on top of you. Don’t waste a drop,” I say.
Shawn groans, low and long. His release covers his hand and my underwear. His hips lift one more time before he stills and his heavy breathing subsides.
“I think the only word I have left in my vocabulary is fuck,” he says, and he flips the camera so I can see his face again. “But, fuck.”
“That was fun.” I bring my legs to my chest and rest my chin on my knees. “I like being your friend.”
He laughs. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. Sexiest, too.”
“What? You don’t get off with your friends on the phone all the time?”
“I’ve certainly never done that with Aiden. There’s a first time for everything.”
“Tis the season of good tidings and cheer. Phone sex too, I guess.”
“You’re funny.” Shawn opens his eyes, and he sits up. My underwear is still wrapped around him, and I’ve never seen something so sexy in my life. “I should go clean up. I made a mess.”
“Me, too. Thanks for helping me decompress,” I say, and he gives me a salute.
“Right back at ya, Daniels. I don’t even remember what my problems are anymore.”
“Funny how that works. Have a good rest of your night. I hope tomorrow is a better day. And we’ll be cheering for you on Sunday.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you at Maggie and Aiden’s.”
We stare at each other, and I realize I don’t want to hang up with him. I want to keep talking and ask about their practice tomorrow. I want to find out if the Christmas tree in his apartment is real or fake.
I think I might just want… him.
“Are you okay?” Shawn asks, and I smile.
“I’m fine. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Right. Yeah. Tomorrow.” He looks like he wants to add something else, but he doesn’t. “Bye, Lace Face.”
“See ya, Shawn Yawn.”
I click off my phone and throw it face down on the bed like it burned me. I stare at it and shake my head.
Nope.
There’s no way I’m falling for my best friend.
If anything, it’s just a silly crush. Post-orgasm affection toward the guy giving me attention. There aren’t any actual feelings involved.
But why the hell is there an ache in my chest when I think about him walking away from me when the new year strikes?
