“PLEASE DON’T TELL me we’re playing charades again tonight,” I say to Maggie. I pour a glass of wine and slide it her way. “If I have to act out racquetball or tennis one more time, I’m going to scream.”
“No charades, I promise.” Maggie laughs and takes a sip of her drink. “It’s a game Aiden found online.”
“A game he found online? Lovely. What could go wrong?” I lean over and turn up the Christmas music playing from my phone. Bing Crosby croons about a white Christmas and I smile, secretly hoping a massive snowstorm blows through the Mid-Atlantic just in time for the holidays. “Are we still celebrating Christmas together on the 30th?”
“Yeah, we’ll be back home by then. Aiden mentioned Shawn is leaving for an away game on New Year’s Eve—that’s the night you all are going to stop pretending you’re dating, right?”
“Yeah.” I grab the bottle of wine and pour myself a glass. Hearing about the approaching end date of our agreement makes my stomach twist with disappointment. “We’re heading back from his parents’ house on the 26th, and that will be that.”
“I can’t believe how fast the month is going. We have the gala in two days, and then it’s basically Christmas. Everything is flying by.” Maggie jumps off her barstool and heads for the oven. She slips an apron decorated with candy canes and snowflakes over her head and grabs two oven mitts. “Are you doing okay?”
“With what?”
“Your fake relationship with Shawn. I know you were panicking when the video first circulated. Everything’s been alright since then?”
“Yeah.” I nod and cross my legs. “I’m fine. The buzz has started to die down, and I don’t get eight thousand comments on my social media photos when the Titans make a dumb play anymore. It’s been a whirlwind, but a good whirlwind. I’ve liked getting to know the guys on the team, and I feel lighter these days.”
She glances at me, and her face softens. “You’re allowed to be sad about it, Lace. You and Shawn have been spending a lot of time together. It makes sense that you might get attached.”
“I’m not getting attached,” I say, and I can hear the aggression in my voice. Like I have to defend how I’m feeling toward Shawn when I’m not even sure how I’m feeling toward him.
We’ve been spending a lot of time together, and I’ve enjoyed every minute.
And, yeah, the physical component was a nice bonus, too—the man knows what he’s doing in the bedroom. I’m still thinking about his head between my thighs and the desperate way he asked me to bring the camera closer so he could watch me come.
The kisses, too.
The kisses were phenomenal, and making out with him was better than all of my other bedroom experience with past partners.
But I’ve liked the quieter, less assuming things, too.
The morning texts and the late-night phone calls when he’s walking around his apartment and trying to get his mind to settle.
The magnet he brought me from Cleveland: it’s the Rolling Stones logo and came with a note that said don’t be a groupie, Daniels.
How his eyes always find mine and the way his smile pulls up in the corners when he catches me watching him.
I don’t hide it anymore. He knows I’m looking at him because he’s busy looking at me, too.
I just don’t know what it all means.
Do I like him? Or is it just the attention I like, the first time I’ve let a man get close to me in years?
I never used to feel a swoop in my belly when Shawn touched my shoulder, but now I do.
I never used to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, wondering what he was thinking about and hoping he missed me like I missed him. And I do miss him when he’s not here; I miss his laugh and how his nose scrunches when he smiles. I miss his voice low in my ear and his hands in mine.
I especially miss his gentle heart, that one that sent food to my office yesterday and today. I teared up in the bathroom after the delivery driver dropped off a big paper bag, overwhelmed with the recognition that someone out there cares about me very much.
I’m still not used to being cared for, but I’m learning.
The door to Maggie and Aiden’s apartment opens and Shawn comes barreling inside like I summoned him.
He looks good, with his mussed-up hair and pink cheeks. The white sweater he’s wearing makes his skin look tan and soft, and his joggers hug his thighs in all the right places. I avert my gaze and take a long sip of my wine.
“Hey,” he calls out. “Sorry I’m late. Our team meeting ran long.”
“No worries,” Maggie says. “Aiden is still in the shower. Want something to drink?”
“Sure.” Shawn shrugs off his coat and hangs it on the hook by the door next to mine. “What are we having?”
“I brought a bottle of that wine we had when I was at your place,” I say, and Maggie gives me a look. “What? We hang out without you all.”
“Frequently?” she asks.
“A handful of times.”
“We’ve had a couple of video chats, too,” Shawn says as he walks toward the kitchen, and my cheeks flame scarlet red. He smirks and bends down to kiss my forehead. “Hey, Lace. How was your day?”
“It was good. Thank you for lunch, by the way. The sushi was delicious,” I say, and I loop my arm around his waist to give him a hug. “Want to sit?”
“Nah, I’ll stand. I’ve been sitting all day.” He turns his attention to Maggie, who’s busy staring at us. Her gaze bounces between my forehead and Shawn’s waist. “Can I help with anything, Mags?”
“No,” she says slowly. “The cookies are just about done.”
“What did I miss?” Aiden asks, walking into the kitchen to join us.
“Lacey and Shawn hang out without us,” Maggie says. She scoops the cookies off the sheet pan and onto a plate shaped like a Christmas tree. “And they video chat, too.”
We also watch each other get off. His dick is fantastic, and he has a pair of my underwear somewhere in his apartment, I think, but I keep my mouth shut.
“Wow. I’m kind of jealous.” Aiden rests his chin on Maggie’s shoulder. “Do you do anything fun?”
I reach over and grab a sugar cookie, taking a big bite. “Nothing noteworthy.”
Shawn hums. He leans toward me, and I swear his lips brush against my ear. “You’re playing with fire, Lacey girl. Seems like someone didn’t forget what she was supposed to forget. Did you think about me last night when you were using your toy?” he asks just low enough so no one else can hear, and heat races up my spine. “Because I thought about you.”
“Flirting with me, Holmes?” I ask. I tip my chin up and stare him down. He grins, and I see the wrinkles on his nose that I love so much.
“In your dreams, Daniels,” he says with a sparkle in his eye, and I desperately want to kiss him.
I want to grab him by his collar and press his mouth against mine. I want to slip my hands under his sweater and run my palms along the ridges of his body; the smooth planes and firm muscles I’ve started to fantasize about when I’m in bed and thinking about him.
I think he wants to kiss me, too. I see the same flare of heat behind his gaze as the night in the supply closet and when I was in his apartment.
This is a dangerous line I’m toeing, and I need to get off the high rope before someone gets hurt.
But why is it so hard to walk away?
“OKAY, the game is how well do you know your partner?” Aiden explains. “I found a bunch of questions online, and I figured they’d be good to ask you all before you head to Shawn’s parents’ for the holidays. It’s a quiz to make sure you two can pass the test of appearing like you’re really in love.”
I groan and bite the head off a reindeer cookie. I’ve had six already, and my stomach is starting to protest. “Not fair. This is going to be entirely one-sided. What are you and Maggie going to do? Watch?”
“We’ll play too,” Aiden says. “It’ll be fun. I promise it’s nothing too lovey dovey.”
“The first question you give us about something like wedding vows, I’m out,” I warn.
“What? You don’t want to show up on Christmas with an engagement ring and really blow everyone’s minds?” Shawn jokes. He leans back against the couch, and his thigh presses against mine. “The reactions would be hysterical.”
A sensation I’ve never experienced before squeezes tight around my heart and my lungs as I think about an engagement ring on my finger.
An engagement ring from Shawn on my finger.
I thought I’d hate it, but I don’t.
It sounds kind of nice.
“We might as well go get married in Vegas,” I joke back, and he chuckles.
“Not a wedding in a church kind of gal? This is something I should know in case someone asks about our future plans.”
“No. I think I’d want something spontaneous. Small, with the people I love. Nothing fancy. No tuxedos or centerpieces. You know that’s not me.”
“It’s not, and that’s okay,” he says, and I see his hand twitch at his side.
I think he wants to reach out and touch me.
“The game is working already,” Aiden says, and he sounds positively giddy. “Okay. I’ll ask each of you a question. You’ll write your answer, then you’ll both hold up your whiteboard with the responses. We’ll see how well you do.”
“Going to kick your ass, Daniels,” Shawn murmurs in my ear. “I know you like the back of my hand.”
“Oh, yeah?” I uncap my dry erase marker and lift my eyebrow. “Game on, Holmes.”
“Shawn, what is Lacey’s least favorite food?” Aiden asks, and we both scribble down our answers and hold up the whiteboards. “Okay. You both wrote mushrooms. Nice job.”
“See?” Shawn says, and I roll my eyes.
“One question right does not mean you know me.”
“Lacey, how does Shawn take his coffee?” Aiden asks, and I grin.
“Easiest thing ever,” I whisper under my breath.
“You’ve never seen me drink coffee,” Shawn whispers back.
“I have. You had some on Thanksgiving,” I answer, and we flip over our whiteboards.
“With a splash of milk and a half spoonful of sugar. Well done, you two,” Aiden says, and I stick out my tongue.
The game continues for twenty minutes, and Maggie and Aiden don’t even bother jumping in. They’re having too much fun seeing if Shawn and I get our answers right to join.
Neither of us misses a question; I correctly guess his favorite color (purple), how he eats his eggs in the morning (over easy), and what his biggest fear is (spiders, surprisingly).
He does the same, knocking questions about me out of the park; the first time I broke a bone (eleven, thanks to a scooter mishap), my biggest pet peeve (people who don’t return their shopping carts at the grocery store, which Maggie vehemently agrees with) and the place I want to visit the most in the world (the Galapagos Islands, because I have a weird infatuation with tortoises).
“Okay, we’re down to the last question. You two have passed with flying colors, but here comes a tough one,” Aiden says. “Lacey will be first. What is she most looking for in a partner?”
My breath catches, and I dip my chin. There’s no way Shawn knows the answer to this; we might have talked about our pasts during his team party, but I wasn’t specific about what I want.
We turn the whiteboards over, and I stare at what Shawn’s written. There are two words, and they perfectly match my own.
An equal.
“Told you I know you like the back of my hand,” Shawn says softly, and my skin heats. “You want—you deserve someone who isn’t intimidated by your success. Someone who looks at you and sees all your wonderful accomplishments and lifts you up. Someone who isn’t afraid. Someone who knows you’re worth more than a million tons of gold. I hope you never settle for less than that, Lacey girl. Promise me you won’t.”
The air is still and silent. I stare at him, and I swear my heart crawls up my chest and sits in my throat. I nod, and my eyes never leave his as I say, “I promise.”
“Good,” he murmurs, and he drags his thumb down my jaw. “Anything less than that means you’re out of their league. Hell, you’re out of everyone’s league.”
Not his league, I think, a fuzzy thought that bubbles in my brain as I wipe my board clean. That’s exactly how Shawn treats me, and I wonder if I’m lucky enough to be struck by lightning twice.
Doubtful.
Meeting him was fate; to expect someone just as wonderful is a pipe dream.
“Okay. Same question for Shawn,” Aiden says, and I wonder if he can sense the shift in the room.
This answer is simple. He told me when we were sitting in the parking lot of the hotel the other night as snow fell from the sky, but I would’ve known even if he didn’t share. Shawn wears his heart on his sleeve, a stitched little thing I can see from a mile away. He tries to hide it, but I know.
I feel it down in my soul.
We flip our boards, and I smile when I see we’ve written the same answer again.
To be seen.
“You know I see you, right?” I ask him, because I want him to be sure. I scoot across the couch until the scent of his cologne and shampoo tickles my nose. “Not just as the football coach. I see all of you, and gosh, I like what’s there. I always have. When this ends, I’m still going to see you, Shawn. The real, full you is one of the most marvelous things I’ve ever gotten to experience, and I feel lucky that we met all those months ago.”
He drops his board and pulls me into a hug. He’s become so familiar to me, and my body relaxes against his. I don’t care that Maggie and Aiden are watching and the jokes they’ll probably crack after. Right now, I just want to be in his arms.
“Thank you,” he whispers. “You really are my favorite person in the entire world. If they gave out plaques, you’d have a dozen of them.”
“Just a dozen?” I ask, and I laugh into his chest. “I need to step it up.”
“No. You’re perfect exactly as you are.”
Maggie clears her throat, and Shawn and I pull apart. I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and bite back a smile.
“Great game, Aiden,” Shawn says. “I don’t think Lacey and I will have any problems convincing my parents this is real.”
“No,” Aiden says. He drapes his arm around Maggie’s shoulder and smiles into the curve of her cheek. “I don’t think you will.”
I run my palms over my jeans, and I scoot a half inch further away from Shawn. I’m afraid I’m going to try to kiss him if I stay too close. “Thanks for doing that, Aiden. It was fun.”
“Anyone want more cookies? More wine?” Maggie asks, and she stands up from the couch. “A battle plan for how we’re going to survive the gala, because if I have to hear another joke about operating on someone’s brain, I’m going to snap?”
The rest of the night is lighter with lots of laughter, but I can’t stop thinking about what Shawn said.
I do deserve someone who knows my worth, and the more I look at him, the more I think the person who can treat me like that has been right in front of me all along.
