Nine Years Ago
“Alex, if you don’t want to be here, why the hell did you come?”
Samantha was annoyed by my lack of enthusiasm for baby talk. That’s pretty much all we were doing tonight at this stupid dinner party hosted by one of her gallery friends.
“I didn’t agree to come to the party so we could talk baby shit all night. You know where I stand on that,” I answered back, frustrated.
The whole Finn and Charlotte thing kept replaying in my head. I knew it was an overnight thing, and where the hell would he sleep? There were too many questions, and I had no answers.
Charlotte never answered my question when I texted her which really riled me, not to mention the dozen text messages I had sent her trying to explain what happened last week at my parents’ house.
Then I got her text, telling me to go have a nice life.
My concentration dwindled to nothing as anger and fear were consuming me. I’d fucked up, big time, and I deserved the cold shoulder. But she could have at least heard me out, but instead, I was standing listening to something I had no interest in whatsoever.
Samantha pulled me aside, digging her nails into my arm. “I’m over this bullshit, Alex. Get your fucking act together and act like my goddamn husband. You’re embarrassing me,” she spat, clenching her teeth with animosity.
“I’m embarrassing you?” I laughed in her face. “Talking about what position is best to make a baby is what’s embarrassing, Samantha.”
“What do you want?”
“I don’t want to be here.” I waved my hands around.
“Then just leave,” she shouted and walked away.
I grabbed my keys and left without saying goodbye. On autopilot, I drove my car to exactly where I wanted to be. With Charlotte.
Elijah had texted me earlier to let me know Adriana was okay. But Dad, on the other hand, gave me a long-winded rant about Mom allowing her to go in the first place. On a whim, I called Dad to let him know I’d supervise. He thanked me, then warned me to watch her and make sure Elijah didn’t sleep in the same room as her.
I made my way to the club, lucky to get in because I was twenty-five, and it was an underage club.
Charlotte was there on the dance floor, dancing with some dude her own age. At first, I stood at the bar watching them, desperate for a drink, but they weren’t serving alcohol.
She finally spotted me and excused herself as she made her way through the crowd of people dancing.
I wanted to tell her how sexy she looked in the dress and heels, but instead, we fought, both of us frustrated. I led her to a dark corner of the club and pulled her into me. No one could see, and I wanted her so bad that nothing mattered anymore.
We danced and grinded for only a few minutes, but it was enough to have me hard as a fucking rock until I spotted Adriana. I pushed Charlotte aside, hoping she understood. It took her a moment to register before she slipped away. Adriana was happy I came and asked if I had seen Charlotte.
“There she is.” Adriana spotted her. “I’m glad she finally met someone… and what a hottie!”
This guy? What the fuck did he think he was doing?
Adriana walked toward Charlotte, leaving me alone with my heated thoughts. He was a jerk, that was all I knew. Adriana motioned for me to follow them, and with every step I took, jealousy shot through me like a thousand bullets.
“Alex, we’re going out for a bite to eat. You coming?” Adriana asked.
“Sure, why not.”
We left the club and walked over to the hotel which had a restaurant on the lower level. We sat at a booth, Charlotte next to that guy, and Adriana wedged between Elijah and me.
“The mega burger and fries look to die for,” Adriana mentioned while reading the menu.
“I know you don’t share,” Elijah followed. “So, I’ll get the turkey burger.”
“I’ll have the same.”
“Charlotte, introduce us to your friend,” Adriana insisted, placing the menu down.
His name was David. He talked football with Elijah as I sat there quietly watching Charlotte without being too obvious. After the most boring conversation about college, we were interrupted by Finn as he walked in and squished himself beside Charlotte at the same time the waiter brought the food over.
“Finn, that was my pickle. I was saving that till last,” Charlotte whined.
“Sorry, Charlie… you snooze, you lose,” he joked, placing the pickle in his mouth.
“You jerk,” she mumbled, knocking his shoulder.
“Thanks, Charlie, I love you, too.” He grinned, hugging her tight until she caved and smiled.
My muscles tightened at the sight of them, but this time, the jealousy was over their friendship. How easy it was for them to openly parade their friendship without anyone second-guessing their motives. Well, aside from me, but the more time I spent around Finn, the more I realized he was a protector rather than a potential lover.
“Can you guys get a ride home? Jen’s parents had a fight, so she wants to stay over at my place.”
“Alex can drive us home,” Adriana offered but soon realized we’d have a sleeping arrangement problem. “Shit, Alex, can you get a room? If not, maybe you can crash with Charlie. Or you can stay with Elijah.”
Her suggestion was innocent, but the thought of ‘crashing’ with Charlotte made me think of only one thing.
Throwing some bills on the table telling us they were going for a walk, Adriana and Elijah left the table leaving me alone with Charlotte and David. Fuck, this was awkward. For him, that is.
“So, Charlie, did you want to go for a walk as well or something?” he asked, ignoring me sitting right opposite them.
“It’s not that I don’t want to, but it’s been a really long day, and I…” She looked at me, bewildered.
“Sorry, buddy, I can’t have her walking around alone with a stranger. Her father would kill me.”
“Yeah, I totally get it. Sorry,” he sulked.
David grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, jotting down what looked like his phone number, then slid it to her. “Give me a call sometime. We should meet up when you’re free.” He kissed her on the cheek, said goodbye, and walked out of the restaurant.
“I assume you’ll discard that number as soon as we walk outside,” I rebuked.
“Excuse me?”
“What? You actually think you’ll meet up with him?”
“Screw you, Alex. I’m not the one who said ‘I do’!”
Sliding out of the booth, Charlotte raced out of the restaurant leaving me alone.
Burying my head in my hands, I didn’t follow her just yet. She had every right to be angry, and if the roles were reversed I’d feel the exact same way.
I walked around the hotel for a while trying to figure out what to do. I decided I would go see her and apologize for trying to stake my claim without actually having anything to back it up with when all along she was right.
I held my hand up against the door, but with fear, I pulled away. If I walked through this door right there, right now, my life would never be the same. There would be no turning back. I’d be sealing our fate.
Bowing my head, I tapped gently. Maybe it was minutes, maybe it was seconds, but she finally opened it.
I could see the turmoil on her face, the apprehension which lingered.
Did she know how much this would mean to me? To us?
I followed her lead, silently, and walked into the dimly lit room. It was just after midnight, the moon shone through the sheer drapes, and the noise of the outside world slowly faded away. Or maybe that was because the only thing I could hear was her heart beating. She was only inches away from me, yet it felt like a mile.
“I’m sorry, Charlotte.”
“Alex, I’m scared,” she whispered.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into me. She smelled heavenly, intoxicating, everything I’d ever need for the rest of my life.
“Scared?”
As much as it wasn’t the moment to open up the vault of past sexual escapades, I knew I wasn’t her first.
“I don’t know if I can stop. I mean this… us. If we take this further, where does it go? Where does it end?”
I placed her hand over her heart. “Just follow this.”
“It leads me straight to you,” she whispered.
My hands moved upward and settled on her cheeks, bringing her mouth close. Her soft pink lips caressed mine, our movements so slow that every kiss awakened a new sensation I had never felt before. The sound of her soft moans in my mouth aroused me, but I didn’t push. I wanted to savor every moment of this night, every part of her. My Charlotte.
Without breaking away, I led her to the bed. I held onto her as I laid her down, and gently, I climbed beside her and continued to slowly kiss her lips. Our tongues battled softly, never stopping to catch our breath. I slowly broke the kiss and moved toward her neck, spreading soft kisses as she tilted her head back. She moaned faintly. She was ready, more than ready.
My hands trailed to her stomach, rubbing it as I listened to the sounds her body made. For a moment, I thought she had changed her mind, but she drew away for a mere second to pull her dress over her head. To see her chest only covered in a bra was enough to make me come, but fuck, I needed to remember it was a marathon, not a sprint.
The tips of my fingers grazed her tits, watching them in the moonlight. Making my way around to her back, I undid the clasp and watched it fall around her waist. No words could ever describe how beautiful her tits looked bathed in moonlight, the most perfect natural pair I’d seen in my life.
Resistance was futile. I lowered myself so that I could take them in. She tasted like sweet heaven, and I tried to slow my movements, but I was lost. Lust was taking over, and my tongue sucked on them harder, her pleasure growing as she pulled on my hair whispering slight profanities until she asked me to stop.
“Are you okay?”
She hesitated but only for a moment. “You’re wearing too many clothes, and I need you inside me, now.”
In the quickest amount of time, my pants and boxers were off as was hers. We both laid there silently admiring each other’s bodies.
“Relax. I promise I won’t hurt you.”
I knew I’d been blessed in the cock department, so I was conscious of taking it slowly. I slid myself in, kissing her shoulder as I waited for her body to relax. She groaned, taking my hips and pushing me in further. I couldn’t believe she was in front of me, the girl who meant more to me than anyone in this entire world.
Using the small amount of control I had during this moment, I tried to be patient and move slow, but like a possessed man, the lust and greed took over. My thrusts became faster, and with every sound she made, I knew she was near. I watched her face desperate for more, the force of her kisses, the way her hips buckled, then slammed harder into mine.
“Alex, I’m sorry. I can’t… I’m going to…”
I moved faster, letting her ride out our first orgasm together, and it only took a second later for me to follow her lead. I bit down on her shoulder as I tried to grasp the intensity of it all. Trying to catch my breath, I held onto her tight. Sweat beads had formed on our bodies only adding to the realization of what had just happened.
“Shit, I should have asked you…”
“What is it?” I murmured with my head still buried into her neck.
“To use a condom.”
I pulled away and slowly eased myself out of her. Falling on my back, I brought her close to me.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wanted to feel you. I don’t want to sour the mood, but you have nothing to worry about.”
“But you’re married, which means you sleep with someone else,” she lowered her voice.
“Charlotte, look at me.” I tilted my head as our eyes met. With a pained expression, I sensed her regret. “Samantha and I haven’t had sex in months. I get tested every six months as part of hospital protocol. You’re the only one I want to be with, but next time, we can use something if that will ease your mind.”
“Next time?”
My ego took a bit of a hit for a moment. Was it not the same for her?
“Uh, yeah. Was it not good for you, Charlotte?”
She remained silent. It killed me, but then she spoke the words that were so powerful. Words that drew me to that place again.
“Alex, I’ve dreamed of this moment since we ran into each other in the kitchen, and nothing could ever compare to how wonderful that felt. Never in my life have I ever felt that way about anyone or shared something so intimate, but it confirmed my fears… I can’t stop. I want more. I want all of this with you. I want to feel you inside me, touching and exploring every part of my body. I want to do very dirty things to you that only my imagination has allowed me to experience.”
“Well, I think we have a problem.” I laughed.
“What’s that?”
I grabbed her hand and placed it on my cock which became instantly hard. She moaned, but this time it was different.
“I can take care of that,” she murmured as she slid herself down under the sheets.
Oh fuck. Her lips were wrapped around my cock, and damn, my girl gave the best head I had ever experienced in my life. I wanted more, again, begging her to angle herself so I could feel her pussy. She moved slightly to the left within my reach, and I eased my fingers inside making her moans muffled on my cock more arousing. I slid them out rubbing my cum all over her clit. She took me in deeper. I was close, so I warned her because I was some sort of gentleman and didn’t know how much she could take.
“I want to taste you.”
I was done.
Thrusting my fingers deep inside her one more time, I came as her walls contracted around my fingers. She took all of me, every single drop of fucking cum and she swallowed like a pro. Samantha had never done that, come to think of it, none of the girls I had ever been with had. It was a fucking dream come true, and I was ecstatic that I had experienced it for the first time with my girl.
“Are you okay there, soldier?”
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
“Well, it helps that I watch a lot of porn.” She grinned proudly.
“Wait! Did you just say what I think you just said?”
“Yes, you heard right. What? My imagination can only think of so much before I need visuals.”
My arms wrapped tightly around her, never wanting to let her go. This was perfect, we were perfect. Except for one thing—I was married. And now officially, I had cheated. I was having an affair, and I couldn’t turn back. I’d crossed to the dark side, but instead of it being dark, it was warm, sunny, full of rainbows, and naked Charlotte waiting for me with her hair fanned out on a bed of clouds while feeding me grapes.
“I wish we could stay like this forever, but I have to get dressed before Adriana barges in.”
She reluctantly untangled herself from me and got dressed. Once she zipped up her dress, I pulled her back onto the bed which was met with a small squeal.
“Alex, you need to go.”
“One more minute. Please? Once I walked out that door, you won’t be in my arms till God knows when.”
It was the truth as much as it hurt.
“We can’t be caught. You know that, right?”
Of course, I knew that. I also knew that I wanted her more than ever now, and I didn’t know how I’d juggle being married and being with her.
The next morning I was sitting in the lobby with Elijah waiting for the girls to come down. I was nervous. I didn’t know how she would react after last night and was hoping that Adriana and Elijah couldn’t sense it. The elevator pinged and they walked out. Charlotte bowed her head as Adriana talked a mile a minute.
“C’mon, Charlie, was it the Leo-looking guy? You can tell me. Argh, I’m right, right?”
Charlotte remained silent. Placing their bags down, she finally met my gaze with a small smile.
“What’s going on?” Elijah asked.
“Charlie won’t tell me who she spent the night with. It’s Leo. Just tell me?”
“Adriana! I can’t believe you just blurted that out in front of everyone,” Charlotte snapped.
“Who’s everyone? Elijah and Alex don’t care. Stop denying it, you have sex hair.”
“Adriana! Leave it alone. Please.”
I stood there, amused by the argument that was about to go down in front of me. I knew Adriana wouldn’t let it go, she was like a dog with a bone, and it was only a matter of time until she started up again.
The car ride was long and, of course, I was the designated driver. We talked about mundane topics like movies, bands, but as I predicted it was only a matter of time until the subject was brought up again.
“Seriously, tell me everything that happened with Leo?” Adriana asked again, the two of them in the back.
“Adriana, drop it,” Charlotte answered, exhaustion evident in her voice.
“What’s such a secret that you can’t tell me?”
“Fine. We did it in his hotel room. We fucked once, then I left because he wanted to go again, and I did not.”
“Why not?”
“Why not what?”
“Why didn’t you want to go again? I mean, he was smoking hot. Sorry, babe,” Adriana apologized, looking at Elijah.
“Because I didn’t enjoy it, Adriana. Why would I go back for seconds if I didn’t enjoy it the first time?”
“Char, what the hell is going on with you? Finn couldn’t make you come either. Are you sure you’re doing it right?”
I nearly choked on the piece of gum I was chewing. This conversation had gone from annoying to interesting. Charlotte definitely had no problem climaxing—twice last night in the space of ten minutes to be precise.
“Maybe I just haven’t met the right guy yet. The one who pushes all the right buttons to the point that you daydream about fucking him all day every day.”
I squirmed in my seat. Was I that guy?
“I totally know what you mean,” Adriana responded with a grin on her face.
We reached our destination—Charlotte’s house. It was torture not being able to kiss her goodbye or even talk to her in the car. She said goodbye to Adriana and Elijah before turning to face me. “Thanks for the ride, Alex,” she said with a slight smirk on her face.
“Anytime.”
Unable to hide the smile playing on my lips, Elijah turned to look at me with an odd expression. He raised his eyebrow while he rubbed the stubble on his chin.
“You had fun last night, Alex?”
“Yeah, you could say that. Nice to get out for a change,” I replied, attempting to deflect any further questions as his stare began to bug me.
“Sometimes, you need change. It puts things in perspective,” he mumbled.
Once I was home, I parked the car in the driveway, staring at the house for a good ten minutes.
Would I feel different when I walked through those doors?
Would she sense that I had spent the night making sweet love to my girl?
I turned the knob, my heart beating erratically. It was now or never. Scared that the regret would wash over me, I walked in and almost immediately it felt wrong.
It no longer felt like home.
