By the time I got home, it was late. I stepped off the elevator and walked to Caleb’s apartment door, entering the code on the keypad. The door made a muted beeping noise before the locks clicked open. The lights were on, and I could detect a faint smell of burned toast. Caleb must be home.
I felt guilty for not cooking dinner. I had planned on getting home earlier to make something for Caleb to eat, but I’d spent more time with Kara than I’d planned. I made a mental note to give my resignation to my other part-time job since Kara offered more hours and pay.
“Caleb?” I called out, covering my eyes with my hand and opening just a slit between my fingers so I could see where I was going. Better safe than sorry. He had a habit of walking around naked in his home. I could still remember—
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and tried to assassinate the feeling of excited anticipation at seeing him again.
I found him in the kitchen, standing in front of the open fridge, drinking a glass of orange juice. He wore a crisp black suit and tie, his bronze hair slicked back to frame his gorgeous face.
The suit caught me off guard. He looked so good that he seemed unreal. Had he gone to another charity event with his mother?
I just stood there, immobilized, unable to pry my gaze away. His green eyes widened slightly when he saw me. He closed the fridge and placed the glass on the counter. Slowly, he lifted his head. Our eyes met.
Silence.
Embarrassed, I broke our gaze, but my eyes couldn’t help dragging to his lips. They were rosy, irresistible, and probably cold from drinking his favorite juice.
His tongue quickly darted out to lick the juice on his lips. That was too much. The butterflies were in my stomach now, wreaking havoc with my emotions.
“Hi, Red. Like what you see?” His voice was huskier than normal.
Oh God.
The tub of peanut butter last night almost made me succumb to his charms again. Almost. I barely looked at him and answered his questions with one-word answers, planning to make his pancakes as fast as I could, then run back to my room. Other than our encounter last night, I’d been away from him for a long time, and I felt overwhelmed now that his full attention was on me. I blushed, forcing myself to look away from him. Where was my tongue? My brain? I couldn’t let him take the upper hand.
“I see,” he said quietly, his voice deepening. “Are you just going to pretend I’m not turning you on right now?”
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
I watched him walk slowly toward me, his hooded eyes intense on my face. He stopped a few inches away. I could smell the faint scent of his cologne, feel the warmth emanating from his body.
“I told you I wouldn’t be able to pull away next time,” he whispered.
In one swift move, he had me pinned against the wall. His green eyes bored into mine, then flicked down to my mouth, lingering there.
“I should leave you alone, but I can’t.” My eyes closed as his fingers traced a line on my cheek, down to the hollow of my throat where my pulse was beating wildly.
“I’m greedy.” His head dipped to my neck, and I gasped as his soft lips lightly brushed the sensitive area below my ear. “And I want more.”
“Caleb.” His name came out in a breathy whisper. I felt intoxicated. Mesmerized.
“Just a taste.” He inhaled deeply. My head fell back to grant him more access. “You smell so good.”
I fisted my hands by my sides to prevent myself from touching him.
His hands stroked down my body, gentle and teasing, until they gripped my hips. “Kiss me,” he coaxed, sucking my bottom lip, then licking and biting lightly.
My knees felt weak. His arm snaked around my waist, pulling me against his body as his other hand slipped up and secured the back of my neck. His lips became hard and demanding, challenging me to kiss him back.
My lips parted as he clutched a fistful of my hair, hungrily taking my mouth. His kiss turned insatiable, almost desperate.
I knew he was capable of this. I was prepared for it. What I wasn’t prepared for was my reaction. I believed that I could resist him, that I was strong enough not to give in. I was wrong—so wrong. Because this, I realized as his mouth seduced me, was surrender.
I felt his hunger, and I realized that same hunger was mirrored inside me and had been building for a while now. Almost as desperate as he was, I kissed him back.
The world became hazy. I only felt. And then I heard a moan. The sound had come from me.
“No!” I protested against his lips. My palms flattened against his chest to push him away, but he held on, stroking my arms gently, persuasively.
He exhaled slowly, and I heard him swallow as he rested his forehead against mine. I could feel his breath, smell the masculine scent of him.
“Red—”
“Don’t.”
I ran to my room and closed the door behind me. I had to get out of here soon. There was no way I could stay in his apartment. Caleb disarmed me, made me weak.
My hands shook as I touched my lips. I had never been kissed like that in my whole life.
Was it supposed to feel like I’d been branded?
I had never believed what they said about Caleb Lockhart on campus. They said he could kiss a dead fish to life.
Now, I believed.
* * *
Determined not to see Caleb the next morning, I woke up early to cook his breakfast, posted a note on the fridge, and rushed to leave for school.
I didn’t want to face him after what had happened last night. It shouldn’t happen again. Wouldn’t happen again. If I gave in, I’d just be some girl in his book, another notch in his bedpost. I didn’t want him to think of me that way.
Wait—why did I suddenly care what he thought about me?
I didn’t. Really.
The weather matched my mood with its ominous dark clouds as I walked the hallways to my second class. It looked like it was going to rain, and it had been unusually chilly this morning when I left the apartment. I couldn’t wait for this day to end. I glanced at my watch and noted that I still had a few minutes before my next class started.
“Red!”
Oh God, no.
Only one person called me that. I walked faster, ignoring him, hoping he’d give up and leave me alone. I felt safer when I reached the lecture hall, squeezing myself into the only available seat in the second row.
“Lockhart, my man!” the guy behind me yelled.
My head whipped around so fast I felt dizzy.
Caleb was standing at the door, looking fresh and gorgeous in dark jeans and a gray sweater, sleeves rolled up exposing his forearms. His gaze was searching.
“What the hell are you doing here?” the guy asked. “You’re not in this class.”
That’s right! He shouldn’t be here. Isn’t there a rule that prohibits students from sitting in a class they’re not enrolled in?
“I definitely am today,” Caleb replied. His smile reached his ears when he spotted me. I whipped my eyes to the front, sending a silent prayer of gratitude that all the seats in my row were taken.
“See something I like,” he added.
I could hear the grin in his voice. I gritted my teeth. What was taking the professor so long? He should’ve been here by now.
“Veronica Strafford,” a quiet male voice whispered behind me.
I turned my head to check who it was. A classmate I’d never talked to flashed an amused smile as he handed me a folded piece of paper. I looked at it dumbly.
The guy’s black bangs covered one dark eye, while the other one gazed at me intently. “For you,” he said, shoving the paper in my hand when I didn’t reach for it.
My eyes shifted to Caleb. He was sitting two rows behind me, watching with laughter in his eyes. I turned to face the front again, crumpling the paper in my hand. When I felt a nudge on my back, I turned around and glared. It was the same guy again.
“He said read it, or he will exchange seats with the guy beside you.”
I clenched my teeth. I wanted to throw his note in his face, but I didn’t want to make a spectacle. I opened the note.
I’m NOT sorry I kissed you last night.
Caleb
I crushed the paper in my hand again, anger flaring in my chest.
“What did you give her?” I heard another male voice behind me. A different one this time. Good Lord, were all of Caleb’s teammates in this class? “A note? What’s on it?”
I was about to tear it up when someone plucked it out of my hands.
“Amos, you asshole! Come back here!” Caleb yelled, but he was laughing.
I watched in horror as Amos jumped on the stage, clearing his throat to get everyone’s attention.
“Passing notes in class like you’re in high school, eh?” He raised his brows, turning his gaze on me and grinning. “And you are?”
“Veronica Strafford!” someone yelled.
Why couldn’t I move? Or say something? I knew I had to do something, but I was paralyzed. It was like watching a train wreck happen in front of me.
“Let’s see then, Veronica… What do we have here?” he continued.
All the blood drained from my face as I watched him open the note, exaggerating every movement. His eyes widened before his voice boomed out to the entire class, “‘I’m not sorry I kissed you last night. Caleb.’”
I wanted to curl up and die.
The whole class erupted in a buzz. I could feel eyes darting toward me like bullets. What possessed this guy to read that note in front of the class?
“That should be enough entertainment for you today, kids!”
I glared at Caleb. He was smirking, completely unrepentant. I wanted to kick him in the balls and wipe that smirk off his face.
I didn’t even wait for the professor. I just ran out of there.
“Red, wait!”
I whipped around, ready to cut him to pieces. “You have two strikes already,” I hissed, balling my hands into fists to keep from punching his face.
His smile disappeared. “Does that mean I only have one more left?”
I scoffed and whipped around, making sure my long hair struck his irritatingly gorgeous face.
“Ouch. That hurt.”
Good! But that didn’t give me any satisfaction. I was so embarrassed, so mad…
I kept walking. I knew he was following me, because I could hear his footsteps trying to catch up. I walked faster, almost running, and threw a glare over my shoulder.
“Red, no!”
And just as I turned, my face slammed into the glass door.
My head spun as my face throbbed. Livid now and mortified beyond belief, I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths. I knew people were staring and laughing at me. I could hear them.
Nobody’s fault but mine.
“Leave me alone!” I fumed.
I wrenched the doors open, hoping one would slam back in his face. I just wanted to hide somewhere.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I gritted my teeth, ignoring him.
“Red, what’s wrong?”
I stopped in my tracks and shot him an incredulous look. “Are you serious?”
He looked startled by my anger. I was bristling.
“Are you really that mad?” he asked quietly, his eyes gentle as they studied my face.
I hesitated for a few seconds, processing the emotions churning in my stomach. “I don’t like being cornered,” I said finally. “I don’t like catering to a self-indulgent child. And most of all, I don’t like being forced to do something I don’t like.”
His eyes widened in shock before they turned flat and cold.
“Got it,” he said in a clipped tone before he turned and strode away.
* * *
In the two weeks that followed, we avoided each other.
I woke up early and cooked his meals, storing his dinner in the fridge and leaving a note for him to heat it up.
I attended my classes diligently and took the bus to work after. If I didn’t go to the library after work, I hung out with Kara. I avoided coming home early every day just in case Caleb decided to seek me out. But he never did. There was an emptiness in my chest that I couldn’t understand, but I ignored it. I just had to.
I felt like a trespasser, an unwanted boarder in his home. Every day I told myself to pack up what little I had and leave. But where would I go?
I wanted to ask Kara if she was willing to rent me a room in her apartment, but it seemed like an intrusion to even bring it up. I didn’t want to impose. I might spend almost every day with her, but we’d only known each other a few weeks.
If Caleb said or implied that he didn’t want me living at his place anymore, I would have left quickly. But he never did.
On rare occasions when I saw him at the apartment, he always gave me a polite nod. I always nodded back and walked away quickly before he could say anything. Not that he tried.
I just had to finish this semester, and then I’d leave his place. I would have enough saved up by then to rent a small apartment. I even got a side job checking test papers for Professor Phillips. Usually these kinds of jobs made me happy, since they meant extra cash, but this time it didn’t. Nothing did.
Caleb had pierced my bubble, and I was angry at him for it, but angrier at myself for allowing it. But if I was honest with myself, I knew that what was really bothering me most was that I missed him.
It was ridiculous. How could I miss someone I’d spent so little time with? How could someone I barely knew affect me this deeply? It was weak, and I couldn’t afford any weakness right now.
My mood became darker every day. Soon the only thing that cheered me up was the time I spent with Kara.
I was already at the office, folding invoices at my desk and meticulously placing them in envelopes to mail out, when the bell on the door jingled.
I looked up as Kara sashayed in, hips swaying, gold bracelets tinkling. It was Sunday, and I knew she’d attended Mass with her dad and Dylan. She always volunteered for cleanup right after, but her makeup was still perfect, and there wasn’t a wrinkle on her clothes. I felt underdressed in my shirt and jeans.
“How was church?” I asked.
“I’m still a sinner. Why do you think I go every Sunday?” She placed her purse on top of her desk. “What do you think of this top? Does it make my boobs pass for at least a B cup?”
“Yes, they look superb. What’s with you and your obsession with your boobs?”
She sighed dramatically. “Hey, hey, hey. Not all of us are blessed with huge, round tits like yours, so stop being a bitch about it.” She wagged her finger at me. “Mine are more like mosquito bites so I’ll talk about them all I want.”
She took a sip from her smoothie, shivering in disgust. “Ugh. I know this is healthy, but I swear the smoothie bar down the street doesn’t add anything besides roots and dirt. Is it supposed to taste like shit that has been sitting on the lawn for ten days?”
I winced when she took another sip. It looked very green. “Maybe you’ll start mooing in a minute,” I suggested.
Her eyes narrowed at me. “What’s up with you? You’ve been moping around like you’ve swallowed the wrong dick.”
I sighed again, opening and closing the cap on my coconut juice. When I looked up, Kara was eyeing my drink with undisguised longing.
“Know what?” Kara said. “I’ll trade you. Here.” She snatched my drink from my hand, replacing it with hers. “You need this. Since you look like you swallowed the wrong—”
I held up a hand. “Can we stop talking about body parts, please?”
“Well.” She took a sip from my drink. “What’s up?”
It had been a long time since I shared anything about myself. Forced to be an adult after my dad left us, I sometimes felt more like ninety than my actual twenty-one.
It felt weird to even consider confiding in someone, but I found myself telling Kara about Caleb.
“You’re staying at his place?” Her mouth hung open. “He’s gorgeous as hell, but he’s a horndog. You know that, right?”
Suddenly it was like my mouth couldn’t be stopped. Everything spilled. When I told her about the kiss, her eyes bugged out. I told her how determined I was to look for an apartment, a room, anything cheap to rent to get away from Caleb.
She shook her head. “Did you know he’s Cameron’s best friend?” She clucked her tongue, frowning at me. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before, you moron? You know you have to stay with me from now on, right?”
Shocked, I could only stare at her. “What?” I managed.
“Well, why not?”
“You barely know me. I’ve only been working here a few weeks.”
Her smile was wide. “I’ve spent enough days with you to know you’re not a serial killer. Plus, I love you already, bitch.”
My chest tightened painfully. I wanted to hug her, but I just smiled. “Love you too, asshole.”
