There is this feeling that words can’t describe the moment your child cries for the very first time.
The sound rings in the dawn of a new life, new beginnings, and the world is once again blessed with another angel. The adoration I feel for this little girl has consumed me all in one touch. I’m not good with babies, or children for that matter, but somehow, when you are handed your baby for the first time, life just falls into place.
Amelia is perfect in every way as I hold her, carefully counting all her fingers and toes. Of course, she’s tiny and wrinkly, so it’s impossible to figure out who she looks like. Everything about her is so small and delicate that I struggle with this fear of breaking her. She quiets down enough for me to bring her angelic face toward my lips. I know that women talk about how amazing babies smell, but I never understood that until this moment. Amelia Grace is Daddy’s little girl, and she has only been in this world for less than a minute.
I can’t be any prouder to call Charlotte my wife than at this moment. She has gathered her strength and faced the unknown. I’m so proud of her and forever grateful she carried our beautiful child, and now she’s living, breathing, and ours to cherish for a lifetime.
It all seems like a whirlwind. The constant stream of visitors, the sleepless nights, but through it all, we are finding our feet. Life has completely changed. I’m no longer putting in ridiculous hours in the office, and Kate has taken over most of my work and is learning the ropes. We have a few days left in New York before we head to LA. Our apartment is pretty much packed, and Kate is going to sublet it from us. Charlotte is spending a few hours in the office, having meetings with Nikki and Tate planning out the new office in LA, which is due to open in the next few months once Charlotte is settled.
On the days when Charlotte has things to do, I relish in the opportunity to stay home and spend time with Amelia. Okay, so I have turned into one of those soft dads, but I swear I can look at her perfect face all day. Most of the time, she simply lies in the crook of my arm, and I manage to conquer the art of typing emails with one hand. My favorite thing to do is feed her. It’s our special bonding time. She takes to the bottle well, but secretly I think she prefers the breast.
Who fucking doesn’t?
Charlotte’s tits—my fucking God, they are massive. I know I’m busy with work and moving, but fuck me sideways, I’m a walking boner around her. Six weeks was supposed to be the minimum healing time. Even from my medical days, I know that. It was somewhere in the second week Charlotte became a ravenous horn dog and caught me by surprise one night.
A warm sensation wrapped around my cock. Mmm, what is that? Fuck, it feels good. Sex dreams are the next best thing when you can’t have real sex. As the sensations intensified, I reached under the blanket and felt her soft hair… but it was real?
I opened my eyes, and even in the darkness, I saw her movements. Fuck. Wow.
“Charlotte,” I murmured, sliding my hands in her hair as I moved her head, pushing it deeper.
She stopped for a moment, gliding her hand from my shaft and moving slowly. “I can’t wait, Lex, I’m going insane not touching you.”
“Do you even know how much of a turn-on it is to wake up with you sucking my cock?”
No more words were said. It took only a few more strokes along with her mouth taking me all in, and I was done, seeing fucking stars because that was how good my wife gave head.
It’s all about blowjobs in this household, but hey, who am I to complain? We’re both desperate to fuck, and because we can’t, it made it all the worse. Every night we tried other things. I rubbed her clit and made her come. Some titty-fucking, but that was one big fucking mess with all the milk squirting everywhere. Then, it was all back door.
Okay, yeah, I know, we do it often, but this week it had been three times.
Like I said, it’s a full moon or something because we’re both animals.
We officially caved on the fifth week. What’s one week, right?
I was rearing to go. Well, until Charlotte said we had to use condoms because she hadn’t figured out what to do yet in preventing her from getting knocked up.
Fucking raincoats on my dick felt all kinds of wrong.
We used it once, and then I told her I was not wearing that shit again, and I’d rather pull out. Of course, Miss Cautious said that was a joke. I couldn’t pull out if my life depended on it.
Okay, so she has me there.
I told her to see Dad and have him give her the mini-pill since she’s breastfeeding.
She proceeded to tell me that was wrong on so many levels.
I didn’t fucking care, I just wanted to fuck my wife and blow inside her like the real man I am. Right, that sounded like something Rocky might say. Next, I’ll be calling everyone dude.
The day before we were due to fly out to LA, Adriana invited us over for dinner. Adriana had no choice but to tell Elijah over the phone she was pregnant since he was in Australia for two months.
He returned two weeks ago, and unfortunately, I hadn’t had the chance to see him yet.
Charlotte was still upset Adriana had no idea about the cancer returning, and I kept reminding her that it was Elijah’s decision to keep it a secret, not ours.
We drive over to Brooklyn to have dinner with them, and I warn Charlotte repeatedly not to mention anything to Adriana.
“Lex, have you any idea what it’s like keeping secrets from Adriana? I didn’t like it all those years ago, and I sure as hell don’t feel comfortable doing it now. I’m not sure our friendship will survive it again.”
Elijah opens the door, and much to my surprise, he looks well. I pat him on the back as Charlotte goes to hug him, maybe for a bit too long, and the last thing I want is for Adriana to be suspicious.
We walk into the kitchen where Adriana has laid out dinner for us. She’s cooked my favorite pot roast, just like Mom’s. I’m sure going to miss having her so close by.
She rambles on about the baby and surprises us with some news. “So, I’m a little further along than we expected. It turns out I’m five months already.”
“Totally explains the belly. See, I told you it isn’t all the donuts you are eating.” Charlotte chuckles.
“And we also found out the sex of the baby…”
Lex and I wait in anticipation.
“It’s a boy!” Adriana squeals
Charlotte jumps up and hugs her, then moves on to Elijah. I congratulate them both, but there’s something off about the stiffness in Elijah’s body when I hug him. I pull away and search his face, looking for something, but he simply smiles. Maybe I’m overreacting. Surely, if the treatment didn’t work, he’d have told me.
Dinner is delicious, and I thank Adriana. She’s quick to point out that there’s still dessert to come. We leave the ladies in the kitchen and head to the balcony to talk.
“So, the chemo worked? You look well.”
Elijah manages a smile. “All is good.”
“Did they catch it all?”
“Clean bill of health.”
Our conversation is interrupted when Adriana calls us in for dessert. She gives us a farewell speech and even cries. Why? I have no idea. She is flying out next week to see us.
We say our goodbyes, and finally, it’s time to start a new life on the West Coast.
***
“That better not be Eric again,” I complain as I roll over Charlotte and purposely throw her phone to the foot of our bed.
“That might have been important!”
“Doing yoga on the beach, when really I know you two are hanging out and waiting for Matthew McConaughey to stroll on past, is not important.”
She opens her mouth, but I place my palm over it. With my free hand, I slide her nightie up and move inside her. Her gasps are trapped as I cover her mouth, our morning ritual coming along nicely until that familiar scream rips through the baby monitor.
One word—cockblocker.
“One more minute… please,” I beg.
Charlotte pulls out the big guns, and in one hot minute, she does that thing to my earlobe causing me to explode in the midst of the chaos. She kisses my lips gently before pushing me off her to attend to Amelia.
“How you can come with her crying is beyond me.” Charlotte shakes her head.
“It’s called my-wife-is-too-damn-hot and my-dick-has-his-own-agenda.’”
She laughs before leaving the room. I grab her phone and read the text. Low and behold, it’s Eric. I reply to him.
Lex: Charlotte was doing yoga all over my cock. Sorry, rain check?
I let out a laugh and hit send. It takes him seconds to reply as I watch the bubble appear on the screen.
Eric: I don’t know whether to be grossed out or turned on. Damn you Edwards and your hogging wang! It’s been a selfish bastard recently. I need my BFF back!
Charlotte walks in carrying Amelia. I immediately grab her from Charlotte’s arms and am met with the biggest gummy smile. At four months, she has gotten chubbier and is starting to smile. Her eyes meet ours, and I know she recognizes us already, hence, why we moved her into her own room. Don’t get me wrong, I miss having her close by, but having a child’s eyes on you while you’re trying to pump your wife is a massive killjoy.
The moment we realized she stares at us from her cradle, we knew it was time for her to sleep in the nursery. It’s the room next to ours, so Charlotte stops fretting but insists we still need a baby monitor.
According to everyone, she looks just like me. Yeah, the eyes are a dead giveaway. Charlotte will throw in her at-least-we-know-she’s-yours banter. That joke lasts ten seconds before I remind her that it could have easily not been.
“Don’t tell me you’ve been riling Eric up again?” Charlotte complains as she takes Amelia off me and latches her onto her breast to feed.
“But it’s fun,” I whine, trying not to get worked up again because her beautiful tits are screaming ‘look at me, look at me.’
“You aren’t the one who needs to listen to him all day. Thank God, we are flat out with three new clients this week. If it weren’t for that, your ass would be his target, and I don’t mean that in a flattering way.”
“Fuck, Charlotte, stop talking about Eric and my ass. Let’s talk about yours,” I tease.
“I will if you stop riling him up.”
I let out a sigh and ask her what her plans are for the day. “Amelia and I have playgroup this morning, then after lunch, your mom will take her for a few hours while I head into the office.”
My mom and dad decided they can’t live more than five minutes away from Amelia. The day they told me they bought a house the next suburb over, I wasn’t surprised. Charlotte’s elated because my mother and her get along like a house on fire. As far as my dad, it makes no difference. He still travels across South America, helping families who require medical help. Adriana is the one left behind, but after much persuasion, they decide to move out to LA, so they will be closer when the baby comes.
I hop into the shower, get changed, and kiss my girls, ready to head into the office. Dreamteam Studios turns out to be a highly successful venture. I find myself getting involved in movie productions, castings, you name it. When Eric got wind of what I’m doing, he begged me to let him tag along. I allowed it only because he was nagging me like a two-dollar whore. According to Charlotte, Eric’s sex life is like a roaring fire in LA compared to the dwindling one back in New York. The moment I heard Eric was blowing some Hollywood A-lister, I warned Charlotte details like that need to remain between the two of them to avoid media scrutiny.
Working without Kate as my assistant has been rather difficult. The thing about Kate is that she is intelligent and has the brains to be more than just an assistant to a CEO. She is thriving in New York, and with the office running well, she still manages to fly to LA every few weeks. The trips over are classified as a business expense, but they are because she and Charlotte miss each other.
Days like that, I know Kate won’t report in to work, but I don’t care. She is one of the godmothers to our daughter and spoils her rotten on every visit.
And so, it means I’m on the hunt for an assistant again. Kate has scoured through the resumes, conducted phone interviews, and is due to fly in next week so she can interview them face to face with me.
When it comes to hiring, I leave it to Kate. Kate knows exactly how difficult I am to work for and my expectations. I have confidence she will only allow me to sit in on interviews with the top candidates. This new assistant has big shoes to fill. Eric, on occasion, will drop hints about how great it would be if we work together. I tell him he belongs to Charlotte, and even if I wanted him, he would be waiting in line after Kate, who said she was next when Charlotte retires. Fat chance, Charlotte loves her job and Eric.
My desk is piled up with manuscripts, and I’m about to read through them when my phone rings.
“Lex, it’s me. Listen, we may need to delay the move. Elijah’s not feeling well, and I’m as huge as a beached whale.”
“Adriana, what’s wrong with him?” The concern in my voice is a dead give-away. Calm the fuck down.
“He’s been feeling off lately. Probably a nasty virus, and he hasn’t been eating particularly well. A few of his students had the same bug.”
“Okay, listen, let me arrange for movers to take care of everything. Just get yourself on the next flight over here, okay?”
“Lex, I don’t think Elijah is well enough to fly.” She sounds stressed and it’s the last thing I want for her in her current condition.
“Adriana, please listen to me… I’d feel better if you were here with us. Please,” I beg.
“Okay, Lex, just text me all the details.”
“Thank you. I love you, Adriana.”
I don’t know what comes over me, but inside, the feeling of something unpleasant hovers on the horizon. My stomach becomes crampy, almost pained. The weight inside my chest becomes heavy and uncomfortable.
“Hey, love you, too, big bro. See you soon, okay?”
Once she hangs up the phone, the panic sets it. He told me he was well, his exact words were that he had a clean bill of health, but something tells me I was naïve to believe it.
I open my browser and find the invoice for the clinic where he was treated in Australia. I haven’t paid attention to the amount when it hit my statement months ago, but now I notice it’s oddly low. I dial the number on the invoice and get through to the receptionist. She’s reluctant to put me through to the treating specialist, but several threats later, I am put through.
I’m straight to the point and ask him what the hell is going on.
“Mr. Edwards, I really can’t discuss this matter with you,” the specialist informs me.
“I don’t need to remind you who I am. I paid for this, and I demand answers.”
“Again, Mr. Edwards, this is confidential.”
Fucking hell. I know these fuckers need funding. Great, use that to bribe him.
“I know for a fact you are trying to receive funding for your new center in Sydney. I will be more than happy to assist if you give me what I’m looking for.”
There is dead silence.
“What exactly do you want to know, Mr. Edwards?”
“Why is this bill for Elijah Evans’s treatment so low? I know the chemo treatment is pricey.”
More silence.
“Mr. Evans refused the treatment.”
What did he just say?
“I-I don’t understand. Why on earth would he do that?”
He lets out a sigh. “Mr. Evans refused the treatment because the cancer is quite aggressive.”
“Wh… What do you mean?” I stammer.
“It’s stage four. He has maybe a year to live. He wants to enjoy what time he has left.”
The phone slips out of my hands, the voice echoing as it calls out through the speaker, “Mr. Edwards, are you there?”
“I’m here…”
Those are the last words I speak to him before hanging up the phone like I am on auto-pilot.
I no longer feel in control of what the fuck the universe is trying to do to our lives. There is no plan. How can there be a plan when Elijah no longer fights to live? I want to reach out to Charlotte, but I don’t want her to carry the burden with her. For hours, I sit staring at my screen, trying to figure out what the hell it is I need to do until the answer that was there all along presents itself.
I call my dad.
With heavy crackling on the line, he answers. I demand he come home straight away. It’s a family crisis, and when times like this occur, we all need to be together to get through it.
Family, it’s all we have at this moment.
***
We sit in my parents’ living room waiting for Adriana and Elijah to show up. Eric’s taking care of Amelia for the night. I thought it was best that she isn’t here. She may be too young to have any clue as to what’s going on, but I don’t want any negative energy around her. I told Charlotte what I had discovered, and as I predicted, she’s upset and has been crying for days along with my mother. She rambles on about something her mother read in her tarot cards, but I’m quick to shut her down, angry with her for seeking help from a woman who, in my eyes, is full of shit.
My father tries his best to remain strong, but I can see it has aged him. For the past few days, we spend hours locked in his den, trying to find any treatment that will cure Elijah, but deep inside, we know it’s a lost cause. Only a miracle can save him and the power of prayer to God almighty.
The important thing, he keeps reminding us is that we have to remain strong for Adriana. Elijah still hasn’t breathed a word to her, and she is gullible enough to believe it’s a nasty virus consuming him.
Elijah knows why we called this intervention, and the moment he walks into the room, I know we don’t have long. He looks gaunt, especially standing next to Adriana, who’s in her third trimester. The healthy glow is missing from his face, his eyes are deeply sunken, and only a hint of color remains in them. His hair has thinned, but he’s shaved his head, the excuse being the summer heat.
“Sweetie.” My mom calls Adriana to take a seat beside her. I know how much my mom is hurting as she turns to look at me, a silent, desperate plea to prepare ourselves for the worst.
“Can we make this quick? Elijah isn’t feeling the best.” Adriana allows my mom to hold onto her as they sit side by side on the couch.
“Adriana…” My dad glances over to Elijah, terrified of what is about to happen, knowing he has to tell the woman he loves who is carrying his baby she will soon be alone. The thought alone makes me almost violently ill.
Remain strong, Lex. Adriana needs you.
“Adriana,” Elijah kneels in front and whispers so softly we can barely hear the words. “I lied to you. It’s not a virus… the cancer is back.”
Adriana raises her head to look at Elijah, then back at all of us. She lets out a small laugh followed by an even louder one. We remain quiet until she realizes we aren’t laughing along with her.
“Wh… What do you mean the cancer is back? Is this some sort of sick joke? What is the date? Is it April Fools or something? Wait… am I being punked? That’s it, right?”
“Adriana…” I mumble, scared to look into her eyes.
“Lex, you hate practical jokes. Tell me it’s a joke… a sick, twisted, cruel joke?”
With my face sullen, I try to maintain eye contact with her, so she understands this is no joke. I watch as her face morphs into disbelief, and abruptly, she turns her focus back to Elijah.
“Stage four, Adriana. It’s too late,” Elijah explains, his voice monotone.
The blood drains from her face as his words sink in. Her body recoils, her hands automatically flying to her stomach, the trembling starting.
“What do you mean, ‘too late’?” she yells.
“Adriana, baby girl, stage four means he has only a few months to live.” My dad finds the voice Elijah has finally lost.
“You’re lying! Charlie… please tell me they are lying? This is some sort of cruel joke you’re playing.”
Charlotte’s face is covered in tears. I reach out and hold onto her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.
“Adriana, I’m so sorry, I have no words,” Charlotte cries out.
Adriana stands, unsteady on her feet.
My mom follows quickly to hold onto her.
“We are having a baby. In one month, this baby comes into this world, and you are telling me you only have months to live?”
“Adriana, I didn’t want to jeopardize the health of the baby.” Elijah’s voice is barely audible.
“What’s the fucking point? The baby won’t have a father!”
The sobs intensify in the room, my mom and Charlotte unable to hide the pain unfolding before us.
Adriana stands still, not shedding one tear until Elijah joins her and holds onto her, both of them falling to the floor as they cry in each other’s arms.
