HADYN
I ignore the speed limit as I roar down the freeway. My hands are still trembling and my heart is pounding in my ears.
I haven’t wanted to throttle someone in a very long time, but that old woman pushed me way beyond my limits. Since I have a strict no violence against ladies policy, punishing Nancy Priskin, the Madam Wong designer, to the full extent of the law is the best alternative.
But it still doesn’t sate the fury in my bones.
“Are you trying out for the next Fast and Furious movie?” Vanya yells when I take a left turn like a maniac. “We’re not on the race track, Hadyn. Slow down.”
I force my foot off the gas.
Vanya stares at me, her big brown eyes wide and searching. I can’t look at her right now. Not without thinking of that moment I overheard the Madam Wong brand director being an absolute waste of a human being.
“Were you really there for a meeting?” Vanya asks.
I nod.
“You didn’t make that up?”
“Yeah. I ran all the way there just to mess with you.” I snort. “Why would I make it up?”
“I thought you might have put a tracker on me.”
The comment makes me laugh. “Do you think I’m a stalker for real?”
Her lips twitch. She looks entirely too gorgeous today, wearing some kind of body-hugging dress with a checkered design and long, dangly earrings.
“I was there on business,” I say firmly.
I heard raised voices coming from one of the offices, but I didn’t feel the need to inspect it. It wasn’t until I heard Vanya’s voice that I realized she was there and started paying more attention.
After listening to Priskin’s vitriol for a few minutes, I’d had enough. I threw the door open just in time to see Vanya ready to launch herself over the desk.
Vanya leans toward me and runs her hand over my arm. “So this is why you haven’t been around much.”
I squirm in my suit. The outfit is a must—according to Will, who’s been my slave driver, ahem, mentor during my introduction to the company. He insists on wearing ties too, but I’ve staged a quiet rebellion and refuse to give in on that point.
“All the late nights. The secret phone calls.” She folds her arms over her chest. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d taken over the company?”
“It’s only until dad recovers.”
“Which means it’s indefinite for now. You know your dad would pretend to be sick for the rest of his life if it means you’ll ‘take your rightful place’.”
“Dad’s already going crazy in the hospital. He doesn’t know how not to work.”
“You’ve visited him?”
“I’ve stopped by his bed a couple times to talk, yeah.”
Our last few conversations have been all about work. We haven’t talked about his seizure, about Ollie, or about our years of misunderstandings. There’s been no need to. The fact that we’re not fighting when we enter the same room is proof that the air’s been cleared.
Vanya scowls at me. “Why didn’t you tell me about taking over the company?”
“Why didn’t you tell me about your Priskin problem?” I dart a look at her.
She stares straight ahead. “We’re not talking about me right now.”
“You’d rather talk about us?”
Her eyes turn sharp. “There is no ‘us’, Hadyn.”
I cringe inside when I see her expression.
I know her. I know when she’s angry.
This isn’t Angry Vanya.
It’s Hurt Vanya.
I try to dig myself out of the grave I made. “Look, Van, I know we didn’t get to discuss that night—”
“What night?” Her voice is high-pitched. “Are you talking about the night in the back of the pickup when you slept with me and then took off for weeks without talking to me again?”
I’m still annoyed about what happened at the fashion house, but she manages to make me smile through my frustration.
“I talked to you, Van. As busy as I was, I made sure to check on you.”
“Only in passing and we never talked about anything other than the baby and my chai-ban.” She scowls at me for that one. “I didn’t think I could hate you any more than I already did, but you went and took chai from me.”
“It’s for your own good.”
“Screw my own good. I want sugar.”
I capture her hand. “I’m sorry.”
She tries to pull away, but I hold firm.
“I couldn’t tell you about the company,” I say.
“Why not?” she insists.
“Because you’re a distraction to me,” I admit quietly.
Her head whips around.
I release a breath and stare at the road ahead. “Will’s got me studying like I’m cramming for the SATs. I have to learn about all the businesses, the subsidiaries, the board members. Meet all the key employees. Memorize portfolios. There’s so much to do, but all I can think about is you.”
Surprise creeps across her face. Then she shakes her head. “Very funny.”
“I’m not joking.”
“For someone who thinks about me so much, you had no problems keeping your distance.”
I pull my lips in to hide my smile. “Did you miss me?”
“In your dreams.” She scoffs. “Besides, I’m busy too, you know. It’s not like I sit around waiting for you.”
My grin spreads wider on my face.
I’ve missed her. She’s the best part of my day. I look forward to seeing her in the mornings before I go to work. And, no matter how tired I am when I drag myself home at night, it feels good to have her sleeping in the room down the hall.
Taking over the company is only bearable because I get to come home to her.
Vanya licks her lips slowly. “So… what made you decide to take over?”
“You did.”
She blinks rapidly. “Me?”
“You and Project Vegas.” I sigh. “I started thinking about the legacy I wanted to leave for you two.”
“Calm down, Hadyn. You’re starting to sound mature.”
I smile slightly. A familiar weight lands on my chest. “Learning the truth about why Ollie chose to work until he died made me think about my own life. And about his. I want to find out what was so great about this company that my brother was willing to die for it.”
Vanya leans forward. “Have you found anything yet?”
I tap my finger on the steering wheel. “There’s this cleaning lady, Henrietta. She’s in charge of the second-floor offices and bathrooms. She brings her grandson to work with her sometimes. She pays him a buck for every window he washes.”
“Child labor?”
“It’s child extortion if you ask me. The kid deserves at least two dollars.” I chuckle. “Henrietta’s been working at the company for years, and she never plans to leave.”
“Why such devotion?” Vanya wonders.
“One of the last things Ollie did as CEO was put the cleaning staff on our healthcare plan. He also built a lounge just for them since they felt uncomfortable eating in the cafeteria. There are still some stupid people in the world who look down on others because of what they do.”
“Idiots.” Vanya rolls her eyes.
“Idiots.” I agree. “But rather than force the cleaning ladies into the cafeteria, Ollie found a solution.”
“He took care of people.” Her voice sounds light with awe. “He didn’t spend his last days taking care of a company. He spent it taking care of the people working there.”
I suck in a sharp breath. Having someone recognize how important that is… it feels good. Like we’re on the same page. Like we’re sharing the same brain.
“All my life, I thought of the company as a machine that churns out profit for our family. From that angle, it’s not appealing to take over. But when I think about the people…”
“It’s worth it,” she finishes for me.
“I have to at least try. I can’t let Project Vegas come into the world without me having a better-paying job. I loved being your assistant, but the pay is not enough to support your chai habit and his.”
Her eyes glimmer with approval and my chest swells with pride. I could get used to having a woman like Vanya look at me like I’m her hero.
My phone rings, forcing me to break her gaze.
I plug in my ear buds and tap them twice to answer the call. “Will, have you…” I glance secretly at Vanya, “made the arrangements?”
Before we left the parking lot of Madam Wong’s Fashion House, I pulled Will aside to set my plans in motion.
I’ve been arranging a surprise for Vanya for a long time, but I was waiting for the dust to settle at the company before I sprung it on her. After the awful things Priskin said, I think now would be a good time to show her what she means to me.
“The responsible parties have been contacted, yes. Also I’ve forwarded your instructions to our lawyers. They’ll prepare the case against Madam Wong’s. Also, don’t forget that you have a meeting with the executives this afternoon. We need to go over the materials before then.”
I groan softly. “Will, give me a break.”
“You have no time for breaks, sir.”
“Make time. I need an hour.”
“Sir, I strongly suggest—”
“I require food, Will. Even kids get a one-hour break for lunch when they go to school. You’re telling me the acting CEO can’t get a damn hour to eat a meal?”
He sighs heavily. “Just an hour.”
Vanya leans toward me and yells into my phone, “Don’t worry, Will. I’ll have him back in time.”
“I’m putting my trust in you, Lady Mullier,” Will says dryly.
“Where do you want to eat?” Vanya asks after I hang up.
“Who said anything about eating?”
“Didn’t you say you were hungry?”
My lips curl up with heady anticipation. “I can multi-task.”
She pushes her legs together and squirms in her seat. Her bottom lip gets razed by her teeth. “If you’re thinking of taking me back to the cliff…”
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Van.” I laugh and slip my hand up her thigh. “I wasn’t thinking about the cliff.”
Her throat bobs nervously. “I wasn’t saying I wanted to go to the cliff. I thought—”
“That I’d rip your pretty clothes off and take advantage of you in the front seat of my car?” I arch an eyebrow.
She scowls at me. “Keep messing around and I’m going to make a break for it. The light’s still on red. I can jump out of here and into another taxi in five seconds.”
“Too late.” I slam on the gas the moment the light turns green. “Keep your seatbelt on, princess. I’ve got a limit on my lunch break and I don’t want to waste a single second of it.”
Vanya’s gaze lifts to mine when we step into the VIP section of an exclusive boutique.
The walls are all white. The chairs are solid blue. The red liquid in the delicate glass cups is cranberry juice upon special request.
The doctor advised Vanya to take more vitamins and this is the best way I can do it since the woman refuses to remember her gummies in the morning. Fussing over her is a full-time job. When Project Vegas arrives, I’m going to have to look after two babies.
“What are we doing here?” Vanya asks.
“Having lunch and picking your outfit for the gala tomorrow.” I slide an arm around her waist.
“I was going to wear something I already have.”
“Did you promise the designer that you would?” If so, then I’ll just have to take her somewhere glamorous so she can show off whatever she picks out today.
“No, but—”
“Good. I ordered lunch. It should be here by now. All you have to do is sit and choose.”
“Can you afford this?” she hisses.
It’s cute that she has to ask. “Yeah, V. I can handle this.”
My new position at the company comes with an impressive pay raise.
“Mr. Mulliez. Ms. Beckford.” A woman in a prim skirt and a white blouse approaches us. Behind her, two assistants wheel in a rack full of shiny garments.
They hand Vanya a tablet.
“These are the latest designs just off the runway. They haven’t been released to the public yet.”
Vanya swipes through the pictures of plus-sized models on various runways. She leans in, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “I didn’t know places like this existed.”
They don’t. I had to do a lot of planning to get all the pieces together. Most of the stores that sell couture clothing have zero options for bigger body types. I had to make a ‘store’ of my own.
A fourth clerk ushers in a tray for us. It’s grilled chicken with broccoli and onions. There’s a glass of orange juice next to it.
Vanya turns to me and pouts.
I lift a hand before she can say it. “Don’t even ask. I saw your post a few days ago. You were at Dejonae’s café. You roped an innocent person into your chai addiction.”
“Dejonae is a willing participant.”
“Is that why she sighs with the force of a hurricane whenever you enter her line of sight? Not all drug dealers want a life of crime.”
“Fun sucker,” she mumbles under her breath.
I nudge her chin up so she’s looking at me. “Care to say that again?”
Like the temptress she is, Vanya eases closer to me on the couch. She places her hand on my upper thigh, leans forward so her chest brushes mine and whispers in a slow, heady cadence. “Fun. Sucker.”
I battle the urge to throw everyone out of the room, tilt Vanya back on the blue sofa and spread her out until she drops the ‘fun’ part of that title. I can already taste her, already feel the softness of her skin as I work her until she whimpers my name.
Heat rushes straight to my pants.
Vanya laughs at my expression and taps me on the cheek. “You have forty-five minutes left.”
“More than enough time to make it count,” I growl.
“Didn’t you come here to give me a present?” She bats her eyelashes.
I flop back in my seat and spread my legs out. “I’ve changed my mind.”
“Too late.” She grabs the tablet from me and keeps flipping through it. Finally, she places a manicured hand on the screen. “That one. That one. And… that one.”
“Ah-ah.” I clamp my fingers around her arm when she tries to get up.
“What are you doing?” Vanya twists her neck and gives me a puzzled look. “I need to go to the dressing room.”
“No, you don’t.”
Her eyes widen and she glances at the attendants. “You don’t expect this to turn into a strip tease, do you? Because that’s not going to happen.”
The thought is tempting. I’d love to see Vanya dropping her clothes and dancing sensually to music. Why didn’t I think of a strip tease?
I shake my head and stick to the plan. “I brought you here to eat. Trying on clothes is the less important task.”
Her eyebrows pull together. “Hadyn, that’s ridiculous. How will I know whether it fits if I don’t wear it?”
Instead of answering, I jut my chin at her plate.
She huffs, grabs it and sticks a fork into her chicken.
While she grudgingly eats, I nod at the clerk who winks in response and hurries behind the curtain.
I keep my eyes on Vanya when the curtains peel back. The broccoli on the edge of her fork plops to the plate and rolls all the way to the edge. The fork soon follows, clanking on glass.
Peppy music starts blasting from the speakers. Three women with body types similar to Vanya’s strut toward us. The first model poses and turns slowly, showing off the shimmery black gown that Vanya liked. The second model is in a tight green dress that I know will hug all of Vanya’s curves in the best way. The third model is in a more dramatic purple dress with the shoulders bare and a train floating behind it.
Vanya covers her mouth and glances at me. Even though she’s hiding half her face, I can tell that she’s grinning wide.
“Hadyn, what is this?”
“A fashion show. It’s been a while since you’ve attended one and with all that’s happened recently, I figured you might as well get a front row seat. It’s not Paris and it’s not chai, but—”
The rest of my words are cut off when she leaps on top of me and wraps her arms around my neck. She eases back just a bit and those gorgeous brown eyes of hers look at me with so much trust, affection and a hint of lust, that I can’t remember how to breathe anymore.
“Thank you,” she says quietly, her bottom lip trembling. “I needed this. I needed to remember that fashion is for everyone.”
She’s referring to what Nancy Priskin said in her office. It makes me want to call Will and send our lawyers on a smear campaign until Priskin is too embarrassed to show her face in any sphere of fashion again.
I rub Vanya’s back in an effort to choke down my rising anger. This moment isn’t about anyone other than Vanya. Making her happy is my number one priority.
I’ll slay the dragons when she’s not looking.
“But,” Vanya leans back, “it’s bad manners to eat chicken at a fashion show.” She juts her chin down at her plate.
“That’s alright. I ordered a backup of salad and lamb chops,” I tell her.
She laughs softly. “Hadyn.”
“You’re eating. Knowing you, you rushed out without eating the pancakes I baked this morning and you stocked up on chai instead of a real breakfast.”
Her eyes dart away guiltily.
“It’s either you eat by yourself or I’ll feed you.” I lean closer. “Do you want these nice ladies to see me feed you, Vanya?”
She scrunches her nose and grabs the fork from me. “Fine. I’ll eat.”
A warm, glowing feeling descends as I watch Vanya enjoy the fashion show and eat her lunch. Time flies by way too quickly and when it’s time to go, I don’t want to leave her side.
Vanya glances at her phone and winces. “You’re five minutes late.”
“Might as well make it fifteen then.”
“Not going to happen.” She sets her empty plate aside and rises to her feet. “I promised Will. You need to go.”
“Let me take you home first.”
“There’s no time,” she says. “Besides, I want to stay back and talk to those girls. Maybe treat them to coffee. They did so well. I might be able to give them some tips if they’re open to it.”
She’s burning with passion and life. Absolutely on fire with her love for fashion and for people. I’ve never seen a woman look more beautiful, more comfortable in her own skin. It almost sweeps my feet from under me.
I place my palm against the center of her back and drive her toward me. Her soft body brushes against mine, sending flickers of electricity everywhere. I lower her down to the sofa, plundering her mouth as her hands slide against my shoulders, eager and urgent.
My heart trips over its own feet. I’m in too deep. Practically drowning in her. It’s a helplessness that I’ve never felt before and it terrifies me even more today than it did that night in the pickup. I could easily forget everything I used to be and become something completely new for her.
The scariest part is that I already have.
Vanya shivers. The sexy little groan of reluctance in the back of her throat when she pushes me away makes my brain totally shut down. All I want to do is lick and nip and taste her until there’s no more oxygen in the air and the heat in my blood burns the whole place down. But she’s got more restraint than I do.
“Hadyn, go.” Vanya pushes more firmly and climbs to her feet. Her eyes are glazed with desire and she’s breathing hard and fast.
I growl when her skirt gets to eye level. I wonder if she’s wearing anything under that dress? The urge to stroke my hand up her thigh and scrape my name against her silky skin is overwhelming.
Vanya yanks on my arm. Her hair’s messy, her lips are swollen and her lids are heavy. “Call Will on the way and tell him you’re coming so he doesn’t worry. And don’t snap at him when he scolds you for being late. You deserve it.”
“If you’re not going to accept my ride, at least call Juniper and let him pick you up,” I say as Vanya shoves me to the exits.
“I’ll think about it.”
“The only way I’m leaving is if you say yes.”
She pouts. “Fine.”
“Oh, I’ve already paid for all the dresses you liked. They’ll send them home later.”
Her hands fall away from my back. “You bought more than one?”
“You liked more than one, didn’t you?” I mumble, fixing her hair. A piece is standing up thanks to my restless fingers. “I don’t see why you have to choose.”
She frowns at me. “Why are you being so nice?”
“Because…” Because I love you. I want you to be happy. You’re everything I need.
But I can’t say all that. Not until I’m sure she’ll say it back. Not until I’m sure it won’t scare her away.
I paste a smile on my face. “Project Vegas has a right to look good, even if he’s only in the womb.”
Vanya’s smile dims. “Oh,” she says flatly.
And that right there tells me it was the wrong freaking answer.
I’d screwed up so many times before that you’d think I’d get used to it by now. I’m no stranger to being the disappointment in the room. A part of me almost revels in how easily I can piss someone off.
Growing up, I made note of everything my brother did and did the complete opposite. I’ve only ever known how to be a rebel. I make light of serious things and never let the bad things touch me. If I pretend it’s not a big deal, then it floats away and doesn’t bother me.
I’ve never tried this hard in a relationship before, and I thought it would be easier with Vanya. She’s a friend. She knows me, has known me, for years.
But I messed up by ghosting her the night after I found out I was in love with her.
And now I ruined a perfect opportunity by backing out of my confession.
Why did I bring up Project Vegas? Why didn’t I just tell her how I feel about her?
I rake a hand through my hair.
“Hadyn?” Bill Shire, the company’s creative director, stares at me in concern. “Are you okay?”
I grit my teeth. “No, actually. I’m not. Can we postpone this?”
Will looks up with a horrified expression when I burst out of my chair. I know he wants nothing more than to drag me back and chain me to this desk, but he’ll have to catch me first.
I shoot out of the office without anyone on my tail. I’ve escaped, but I still feel trapped. Frustrated, I unbutton the top of my shirt and undo my cuff links.
The lump in my throat doesn’t leave until I get to the race track.
A few laps around the track brings me no closer to an answer.
I love Vanya.
It should be easy to tell her that. Why can’t I say it? Why is it easier to buy her things and dote on her and throw her into bed than admit I can’t live without her?
I drive my car into the resting area and notice Max there. He’s in a racing suit but, by the looks of him, he hasn’t gotten on the track. There’s a lollipop in his mouth. He pulls it out and sticks it behind his ear.
My eyes narrow as I smoothly exit the car and trod toward him. “Is this about business?”
“I never bring Stinton business to the track.” Max’s cold eyes fall on me. “Just because you’re partnering with Stinton Auto doesn’t mean I can’t race here, does it?”
“Well, have a good one.” I tuck my helmet into my side and trot away.
“Will called me,” Max says.
“Does he think you’re my babysitter?” I grumble under my breath. “Damn.”
“CEO Conduct 101—you never run out on a meeting unless it’s an emergency.” Max’s eyes dart around the race track. “You want to explain why we’re here?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I start to move past him.
He stops me with a hand on my shoulder. His tone dips to an understanding timbre. “Look, Hadyn, trying to get yourself killed on the track isn’t going to solve your problem. Trust me. I’ve been there.”
I turn to him. “I thought Darrel was the therapist?”
He pauses and watches me. “This about Vanya?”
“No,” I lie.
Max chuckles. “So it definitely is. Great. That’ll make this easier.” He falls into step beside me. “You might as well tell me what’s going on so we can solve it and get back to work.”
I look at Max.
He looks steadily at me.
“I’m in love with her.”
He doesn’t even blink.
I frown at him. “Did you hear me?”
“My hearing’s just fine.”
“I love her.”
“Yes. And?” He waits.
“Why are you not shocked by this?”
“Hadyn, I’ve watched you annoy Vanya since we were kids. You always have something to say or do that’ll piss her off.”
“Annoying and pissing off doesn’t sound like love to me.”
“It does when you’re an immature kid who’s used to girls falling at your feet. Vanya wouldn’t give you the time of day if it wasn’t for her parent’s relationship with yours. You know that. You always have.”
I scowl at him. There are moments I don’t like Max very much.
And this is one of them.
“You follow her around like she’s the light at the end of the tunnel. It doesn’t matter who you’re dating. Whenever Vanya shows up, the girls you’re with cease to exist. Half the kids who were nasty to Vanya in high school were trying to get revenge because of how obsessed you were with her. If she knew how much bullying she could have avoided by denouncing you back then, she’d probably be furious.”
“Me? Obsessed with her?” I scoff.
“You doted on her. Protected her. Anyone could see that she was the most important person to you.” He pauses. “Anyone but Vanya, apparently. I don’t know if she chose not to notice or if she really didn’t see it.”
“Or maybe a little bit of both.”
Max goes to the vending machine and pushes the button for a can of soda. “It’s not a hopeless case. She’s your wife, isn’t she? She wouldn’t have married you if there wasn’t some part of her that trusts you.”
“She thinks Vegas was a mistake.”
He shrugs. “Wasn’t it?”
I glare at him. “And she doesn’t love me back. She’s still playing it safe.”
“You’re surprised by that? Hadyn, you bang anything in a skirt. You hate commitment. You act like you’re allergic to putting in effort. And you married her after a drunken binge in Vegas, not exactly the mark of a man who wants to settle down.” Max counts down on his fingers. “What woman in her right mind would trust you completely knowing all that?”
I’d throw my helmet at him if it wasn’t so expensive. “You’re supposed to be giving me solutions.”
“I’m giving you a chance to get your head out of your butt crack.” He hands me a soda too.
“Thanks, Max. Good talk. Real encouraging.” I step past him.
He slides in front of me. “Vanya’s not some chick who wants to be your next plaything. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and now she’s got a kid to think about. It’s different for her.”
“It’s different for me too. I’m different. I’m going to be a dad.”
“You think being a father makes you a good husband?” He snorts. “If that were true, Trevor would have stuck around for Dawn and Beth.”
I scowl at the reminder of his no-good brother. “I’m nothing like Trevor.”
“You’re right. You want to be different, but wanting something isn’t the same as doing it. Saying you’re ready to take care of her isn’t enough for someone like Vanya. You gotta prove it.”
“Do you think I haven’t tried?” I yank my collar. “I put on the monkey suit. I worked like a dog at the company. I spend every waking moment thinking about her and wanting a future with her. I’m doing everything I can. How the hell am I supposed to convince her that I love her?”
“You start with the easiest step.” Max arches a brow. “You tell her.”
