“This is my daughter, Poppy.”
The words start to play on repeat in my head. Lulu has a kid. A baby no less, a tiny baby girl who right now is staring up at her mama like the word stops and starts with her, which I suppose it does.
I’m not good with kids, I’ve no idea how old she is. She’s a baby, so little, but not tiny. Maybe six months or a year, or hell I don’t know. Cora and Huck’s kid is two weeks overdue, and Cora is about ready to kill Huck if it doesn’t show up soon, and I don’t know anyone else with a kid… or at least not well enough to spend too much time around them. My buddies that are wifed up and have a brood, I only see at the bar when they’re allowed out. I’m not the friend that’s going to turn up at your kid’s birthday party.
I’m staring, I know I am, but fuck, what the hell do I do? My woman. My fucking woman has a kid by someone else. Maybe that boyfriend she mentioned earlier was real. Is he the dad? Is this his kid? She’s still mine, I know that with a certainty, but what the fuck do I do about the fact that the little girl in her arms makes her at least partially someone else’s too? Can I learn to share her with some other asshole who has a claim on her through the baby they made?
“Penn, I think you should go,” Lulu says quietly.
She’s staring at me now, not at the baby, and there’s a sadness in her eyes that I want to eradicate. How has today gone from so amazing to so unbelievably fucked up? I thought it was bad when she pulled into Chloe Mason’s drive. Her daughter Roxanne is my ex fuck-buddy, only she thought it was much more serious that I did. Even went so far as to poke holes into condoms to try and get pregnant from me. I ended things with her after a showdown last year, but still, that alone would have been a big enough hurdle.
I’m not sure how Chloe and Lulu know each other, but even though Chloe knows exactly how much of a viper her daughter can be, I doubt she’ll be extoling my virtues to Lulu if she asks. Fuck! What the hell do I do? I can’t walk away, but I need to figure out what my options are here.
“Why don’t I take you all out for dinner instead?” I suggest.
“Poppy has a routine, it’s bath and bed time soon, I don’t like to keep her out late because it messes with her body clock and she’ll be awake all night.”
“Let me order us a takeout then. I could help you with Poppy then we can all eat and talk.” God, I sound desperate, but I am. I can’t just leave. I can’t just drive home and forget that my woman is here and I’m not.
“I don’t—” Lulu starts.
“That sounds lovely, why don’t we all go on inside,” Chloe announces, cutting off Lulu’s rejection and giving me an in. I don’t know why she does it, but I flash her a grateful smile and gesture for the ladies to lead the way.
Chloe moves first and Lulu reluctantly follows. I switch between staring at my woman and her daughter. She’s a pretty baby, with dark hair and bright blue eyes, she looks like her mama. Unlike my brothers I’m not desperate to be a dad. Mine was great, but he’s been gone so long that I’m not sure I remember what that parental care feels like. After he passed, we all stepped up to parent one another, but if I barely remember what having a dad feels like, how will I know if I’m capable of being a good one to my own kids?
Swallowing thickly I follow Lulu into the house, pausing to glance at the warm, comfortable décor. Unlike her daughter, Chloe is sweet, kind and always smiling. I’m not sure where Roxanne gets her mean, manipulative streak from but I doubt it’s from her mom. The floorplan seems pretty open with the living space blending easily into the kitchen and dining room. There’s baby crap everywhere, a crib on one side of the couch, baby toys and packs of diapers stacked in a caddy against the wall. Everything looks brand new, so I’m assuming Lulu bought all of this with her when she moved here.
I can’t help but search the space for any hint of masculinity but I can’t find anything. Chloe and her husband split up when Roxanne and her brother were in high school. I vaguely remember him moving out of state, but honestly, I didn’t care enough about Roxanne back then nor when we were hooking up to bother to find out the details. Now I’m desperately trying to figure out if Poppy’s dad is staying here too.
The urge to blurt it out rolls along my tongue, but I force the words down. There’s no way I can just demand to know who this guy is, no matter how much I want to know. I’m hoping that Chloe inviting me in and Lulu not mentioning a guy other than the obviously fake boyfriend means he isn’t in the picture.
But what will I do when he shows up to see his kid? Can I learn to tolerate a guy who’s fucked my woman being near her? Will it kill me to watch Poppy grow up and call someone else daddy?
Shit, my mind is a mess and until I ask some questions all I’m doing is driving myself insane with unknowns. “What do you guys fancy to eat?”
“I was telling Lulu about how good the Chinese food is at Chang’s the other day, we haven’t had a chance to try it since she moved here,” Chloe says, breaking the stilted silence that’s filled the room since we got in here.
“Sounds good. Any preferences or shall I just order us a selection?” I suggest, forcing a smile to my lips.
“A selection sounds perfect.”
Turning, I glance at Lulu, she’s sitting on the couch, a wriggling Poppy on her lap as she makes a doll dance for her, the baby’s eyes lighting up with glee as she tries to take the toy from her mama’s hands. “Poppy’s too little for real food, right?”
“Yeah,” Lulu says, a hint of a smile crossing her lips, even though she doesn’t look at me.
“Cool, err, okay, I’ll go call the order in.” Stepping into the hallway, I exhale a shaky breath. Fuck, I don’t get flustered, it’s not in my nature. I’m confident, calm and controlled, but this is unexpected and I need a moment to get myself under control. Calling through the food order, I slide my cell back into my pocket and lift my hands to my head, raking my fingers through my hair as I inhale slowly.
This isn’t what I was expecting, but none of this makes Lulu any less mine. Poppy is a part of Lulu so that makes her mine too. That realization makes everything click into place and suddenly it’s obvious. My woman has a kid, so I have a kid too. Right now, I think Poppy is going to be easier for me to win over than her mama, but it doesn’t matter. I’m a Barnett, and we don’t take no for an answer when it comes to finding and keeping the women that are meant to be ours.
It’s time to make Lulu understand what it means to be claimed by me.
