After leaving Stella in her room to take a nap, I went back downstairs. Lincoln was still sitting in the living room watching TV and Olivia and Sterling were getting the last of their things together. I walked into the kitchen, pausing as I watched the two of them conversing together by the fridge.
“You gotta stop being so hard on Stella,” I break through their conversation, directing my words at Sterling. “She’s trying to work on herself and your negativity isn’t really helping.”
Sterling slowly turns his head, his eyes landing on mine. And they are fucking ice cold.
“Okay,” he says after a moment of silence. There’s an iciness to his tone, but for whatever reason, he just simply agrees. “I’ll try to go a little easier on her.”
I stare back at him, completely caught off guard. “Wait, you’re not going to argue with me or tell me to stay out of your family’s business?”
Sterling shakes his head and Olivia smiles from beside him. “There’s no sense, because you’re right. I am hard on her, but that’s because I don’t want to see her do something really bad and completely fuck up her life. I want better for her, as I always have. I’ve always felt the need to protect her, but Stella has always tried to show me in any way she could that she doesn’t need my protection.”
“She just wants to be her own person and to have the freedom to discover who that person is.”
Sterling shrugs. “I’m not that worried about her if she’s here with you. I know you won’t let her get into any trouble.”
He’s right, I won’t let her do anything that is going to have any serious implications, but that is beside the point and Sterling still isn’t getting it. I didn’t realize his relationship with his sister was this strained. I knew they had their struggles and they fought like normal siblings, but I didn’t realize they had issues like this.
“You’re right, I won’t, but that’s not the point, bro. The point is to not control her. Stella is allowed to fuck up and make mistakes. She’s only human and we’ve all done the same shit. No one can control her and the more you fight against that, the harder she’s going to fight back against you.”
Olivia tilts her head to the side. “How do you know her so well? Did you get all of this from observing her when she’s come to visit over the years?” There’s no accusation in Olivia’s voice. She’s genuinely curious. Probably wondering how I figured out her best friend when she couldn’t see the true power struggle going on right in front of her face.
“Because I used to be the same exact way.”
I can’t help but feel like I’m being judged under Olivia’s and Sterling’s gazes. I know they really aren’t judging me like I feel they are, but instead it’s like they’re both trying to figure me out. Surprisingly, I worked through the majority of my shit during high school, so when I came to Wyncote, I had my head on straight.
Sterling never saw the messy side of me. I had myself cleaned up and was already four years into working on my mindset when we met. No one in my life now knew the struggles I went through when I was deeply depressed. No one knew about a lot of shit, and I wasn’t about to spill all of my secrets to these guys right now.
Sterling is one of my closest friends, but I had a feeling that shit was going to end after tomorrow. He’s already moving out today, tomorrow he’s graduating, and then who the fuck knows what comes next. He doesn’t need to know what I’ve gone through mentally, but he needs to understand that what he’s doing with his sister isn’t going to work.
It’s only going to push her farther away.
“So, what do you suggest is the best way to handle Stella?” Olivia questions me, speaking for the two of them since Sterling seems to be at a loss for words. “She’s always been a little bit of a wild one and I don’t know what to do to help her. I feel like I’ve been watching her spiral down this road of destruction for a while now.”
“Did she tell you she hasn’t been drinking?” I ask them, to which they both shake their heads at me. “Maybe you can act like you give a shit, even if you don’t. Ask her about stuff, even if it might be hard to talk about. And don’t push her, because you’re just going to lose her if you continue to do that. Let her come forth with stuff on her own time, but still be there to show your support.”
“It’s not like she was an alcoholic or struggled with addiction,” Sterling tells me with a defensive bite to his tone. ‘She was just drinking a lot more than she should have been.”
“Yeah, which is still an issue,” I argue with him. “She was obviously trying to escape something. The alcohol wasn’t the root cause of the problem. It was just her solution in the moment.”
“What’s she doing differently now?” Olivia asks me, like I am Stella’s personal fucking representative. And honestly, it’s kind of pissing me off now. They’re asking me all these questions when they could ask her themselves.
“Why don’t you ask her yourself? Have a conversation and get to know the girl you claim is your best friend.”
I don’t mean to be an asshole to Olivia, especially when she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, but Jesus Christ. Stella is a real live person. I thought she and Olivia were closer than Olivia is making it seem right now. She’s acting like Stella is more of a stranger than anything. I know that they’ve grown apart since they lived across the country from each other, but it’s not like they didn’t talk all the time.
Sterling is quiet again, like something heavy is weighing on his mind. Instead of questioning him on it, I leave the two of them in the kitchen as I head into the living room. Lincoln glances up at me as I drop down onto the couch, an exasperated sigh slipping from my lips.
“What was that about? I thought you and Sterling were, like, best friends?”
I glance over at him and shrug. “I don’t know, man. After seeing the way he’s so quick to snap at his little sister, I’m not so sure what to make of him anymore. I don’t know their entire history, so who am I to really judge?”
“She’s lucky to have you on her side,” Lincoln says quietly as he directs his gaze back to the TV. My eyes follow his and I stare absentmindedly at the screen as it goes out of focus.
I don’t know where the sense of needing to protect her has come from, but I’ve already made up my mind. If Stella needs me to go up to bat for her, I will.
Even if it’s against her own brother.
