The sun is hot as it hangs above in the sky. It’s the middle of the afternoon and it’s beginning to get really warm outside. That’s one thing I love about Vermont summers. The winters may be brutal, but the weather during the summer months is truly enjoyable. It gets hot, but not like it does out west. It’s definitely a different kind of heat and I didn’t realize how much I missed it while I was gone.
Today is the day my brother graduates college. Even though we have our differences, I’m still excited and happy for him. Next month, he should hopefully be getting drafted into the NHL. He has so many big things coming up in life, I can’t help but feel a sense of pride for him.
But at the same time, I’m more relieved than anything. With him graduating, that means I won’t have to see him very often. He’ll be too preoccupied with what is going on in his life to worry about what I’m doing with mine. I really took Simon’s words to heart. I want to prove everyone who has doubted me wrong.
Even my English teacher from my senior year of high school. That asshole told me that I would never amount to anything in life if I continued the way I was. Which was probably a fair statement… but it’s one I will never forget and have carried with me this long.
I’ll prove them all wrong.
Sitting in the stands, Olivia is on one side of me while Simon is on the other, and my parents are sitting in the row behind the three of us. They had said they would be here, so that meant they were coming and nothing was going to stop them. After all, their golden child is graduating college today.
I hate the way I feel so much animosity because of it. My brother and I have always had our struggles, but shouldn’t we be coming closer together as we are in adulthood now? Aren’t we supposed to be friends and enjoy life instead of constantly fighting still?
Maybe it really comes down to me and my mindset. I’ve had such a chip on my shoulder toward him because of feeling like I was beneath him. If I would just change my thoughts and attitude toward him, maybe that would make a world of difference. He would read my energy and match it, instead of throwing negativity right back at me.
Life and my relationships in it don’t have to be as hard as I’ve made them in the past.
“I’m so glad you’re here, sweetie,” my mother says from behind me as she puts her hands on my shoulders. Her touch makes me rigid for a moment, but I brush the irritation away. Lifting my hand, I put it over hers and turn my head to look at her with a smile.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I tell her with nothing but honesty. Even though we’ve all had our differences and struggles, I wouldn’t miss this moment for my brother. And all of the other ones to come that are worth celebrating. I will always be supportive of him, regardless of my own feelings.
Releasing my mother’s hand, I turn back around and we’re all staring at the stage. Simon claps for his friends and teammates as they walk across the stage when each of their names are called. Sterling is one of the first, so we all jump to our feet, clapping and hooting and hollering.
Olivia looks like she’s prouder than my goddamn parents. There’s nothing but love in my best friend’s eyes and I can’t even be mad. When I first found out about her and my brother, I was definitely pissed, but I didn’t let it show. How could I do that? I didn’t want to be the one to tarnish her happiness. Even though I felt like I deserved to feel it, that doesn’t mean I wanted to shit all over everyone else’s happiness.
My brother looks over at all of us, throwing his hand in the air in celebration. It isn’t often that his grumpy ass smiles, but his face lights up like he’s on top of the universe right now. A soft chuckle falls from my lips and I feel Simon’s eyes on the side of my face as we sit down.
I turn to look at him, my lips parted slightly as the smile settles on my face.
“I like you like this,” Simon says quietly, his eyes bouncing back and forth between mine. “Happiness looks good on you, baby girl.”
There it is again. My breath catches in my throat and my stomach does a flip as those two little words play over and over in my head. There’s something about the way he says it, the way it sounds rolling off his tongue. I’ve never wanted to taste something this badly before.
“I’m trying,” I admit, smiling at him. “Changing your thought process isn’t the easiest thing.”
“It isn’t but I promise you it does get easier until you don’t even really have to think about it.” He smiles and winks at me.
He shocks me again, reaching over as he grabs my hand and lightly squeezes it. “I’m cheering for you, Stella. I believe in you.”
“I don’t understand why,” I admit, my voice soft and quiet, feeling his absence as he pulls his hand away from mine. “You know me from the time I’ve come to visit, that’s really it. You’re more friends with my brother, so why would you believe in me?”
Simon shrugs, a crooked grin still fixed on his lips. “Because I can tell you really want it. There’s something about you, Stella…”
I wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t. Instead, he lets his unfinished sentence hang in the air as he turns his head to look back up at the stage. I’ve never been a fan of cliffhangers, and this might be the worst one I’ve ever experienced. It felt like there was a but or some kind of an explanation coming after his words.
But there was nothing more he was going to give me.
I am going to have to make my own interpretation of it and if I let my mind go too wild with it, I might end up falling off that damn cliff he set me up on.
And if I fall, I don’t know what comes after that.
