Walking down the upstairs corridor of the stadium toward Sam’s office makes my stomach unsettled and my hands restless. I have no idea what news he has or what came of Autumn’s lead.
Has Dixie been helpful in uncovering the rat that’s been pulling the strings this whole time? Did Legal find the bartender? And if so, is he willing to help us uncover the smoking gun that could put the club owner away for a little bit?
I cross my fingers that something will come of this meeting… something that leans in my favor and the favor of the franchise.
I walk through the first door, opening it wide for Autumn to walk through behind me, holding it open for her until she’s cleared the door jam. Penelope is sitting at her desk and jumps up to give Autumn a hug.
“Hi, you two. He’s available now. Go ahead and go in,” she says to us both.
“Thanks, Penelope,” Autumn says back to her.
I knock on the door and hear, “Come in.”
We both enter, a little unsure but ready to hear whatever news he has to tell us.
“Thanks for coming in this early after you just got home. I know you boys worked your asses off this week.”
“About that, sir. I wouldn’t ask, but… I need a couple of days off.”
“Oh…?” he asks, his eyebrows furrowed in question.
I’ve never asked for time off during the season.
“Yeah,” I say, and then glance over at Autumn, like I need the reassurance that she’s nearby before I say it. “My dad is… well, he’s… really sick. He’s been sick for over a year, but my mom called this morning, and it’s getting worse.”
“Oh, I see…” he says, as the last puzzle piece to the answer to my reckless behavior finally fits into place. “I wish you would have told me sooner. I could have…”
“You could have what?” I say more defensively than I mean to.
This is why I don’t want to talk about this out loud. What could he possibly do? What can anyone possibly do? That’s why I took to drinking and partying. I can’t do anything… and with the doctor grasping at straws, it would seem no one can, least of all my general manager.
“I could be here for you. I could listen when you need to talk. We’re a family, aren’t we? We’re here for each other, and we’re all here for you.”
I know he’s right. And he didn’t deserve my attitude. He’s done a lot for me. He’s gone to bat to keep me on the Hawkeyes roster more times than I can count.
“You’re right,” I say.
Autumn takes a step closer, and I feel her hand slip into mine.
How does she always know what I need? And when I need it?
She squeezes, and I run my thumb along her thumb.
“Take the time you need, Briggs. Be with your family. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help facilitate more time for you to spend with your dad.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that,” I say, taking in a large inhale. “You called us in for something?”
“Yes. Legal had a breakthrough.” He smiles. “They got a call from the DEA… evidently, the club owner was also attempting to extort money from a congressman with questionable photos of him with several strippers. The congressman is, of course, a married man and up for re-election.”
“Oh my God.” Autumn gasps.
“How does that help us?” I ask.
“Well, for one, the DEA is going to take down our opponent for us. We’re no longer playing defense. Now we’re on the offense with a strong player on our side. And because of Autumn’s brilliant work convincing Dixie to testify, as well as her lead on Tyler, the bartender, ending up being fruitful, we have a large bargaining chip to offer the DEA to get in on the charges.”
“You’re kidding?!” Autumn says with glee.
I look over at her, and she gleams back over at me. I squeeze her hand to let her know I’m both grateful and proud of her.
“Nope. They didn’t have quite enough witnesses and people willing to speak out against the owner, but when we offered up our sources, they agreed to add us to the suit, and once they unfreeze his accounts which still contain well over the amount of the funds we gave ‘Dixie’ and he’s convicted, they’ll send back the funds.”
“That’s incredible,” I say.
“Since our accountants have already written off those funds as ‘cost of doing business,’ we’d like to donate the funds to your new childhood cancer charity.”
I look back at Autumn for what feels like the hundredth time, and she and I share a smile.
“Thank you!” She smiles.
“That’s very generous. That money will do a lot of good for families that need it.”
“We know it will, and we’re glad to be a part of it.”
“And the other good news about all of this…” he says. “You two don’t have to fake it anymore.”
“Excuse me… what?” I say, hoping I didn’t hear what I thought I did.
“You’re off the hook, Ms. Daughtry. We appreciate everything you’ve done, and we look forward to working with you and your firm on a regular basis as a full-time client.”
I feel the blood drain from my face. I can’t bring myself to look at her. Will her expression be one of relief? Happy to finally be rid of me and her obligation? She can now go back to keeping her job and getting her promotion with the corner office she wanted so badly.
In my peripheral, I can feel her looking at me, waiting for me to look back at her, but I can’t. Her hands are still in mine, and she hasn’t let go. It’s the only thing keeping me upright.
Finally, she turns to Sam.
“Thank you, sir. It’s been a pleasure working alongside your wonderful team for the last month. I look forward to a long relationship with the Hawkeyes.”
“Yes, we do as well. And I believe congratulations are in order. I heard you had a promotion coming at the end of this project, if I’m not mistaken. Erika mentioned that we might be working with you as our new client relations manager.”
I can feel her eyes on me again, but I only stare out the window of Sam’s office.
“Yes. I was up for a promotion. Thank you.”
“Well,” Sam says, looking at me, probably wondering why I’ve suddenly gone mute. “That’s all I have for you two. You’re free to go, and I will let Coach Bex know that you will be out for a couple of days of leave.”
I nod, keeping Autumn’s hand in mine. I can’t let go of it, even though I probably should. She no longer has any reason to hold mine, but she doesn’t pull away from me, and that feels like the first good news I’ve gotten since I stepped into Sam’s office this morning.
I walk out of his office with her in tow. We pass by Penelope’s desk, but I pull her at a steady pace behind me.
“Oh… okay, bye,” Penelope says as she watches us leave.
“I’m leaving for Walla Walla, but I’ll call you on my drive up,” Autumn says while keeping up with my pace.
She’s still coming to Walla Walla with me? After Sam told her she was free of me?
We start back down the corridor, hand in hand. We step onto the elevator, and that’s when I finally find my words during the two-level elevator ride.
“You’re still coming with me? Even though we’re no longer required to be connected?”
“Of course I am. You asked me to come. I’m coming, and I’m going to get tested too… remember?”
Now my head was spinning. Is she coming for me or to help my father? And why does it matter which one if it’s possible she could be a match?
The elevator dings, and now I have two blocks to clear my head and ask any questions I need answered before I climb into my truck and head for Walla Walla, because once we get there, I doubt anyone will give us privacy to talk out the end of our fake relationship.
When we finally reach our building, she follows me down into the underground parking structure, where both of our vehicles are packed with the luggage we loaded this morning before we went to meet with Sam.
I’ll be heading on a four-hour drive home, and she’ll be heading to her offices first to meet with Erika, no doubt to discuss her promotion which keeps her out of my grasp.
We stop in front of my truck, and I turn to her.
“Autumn, I need to ask you a serious question, and I need a God’s-honest-truth answer.”
“Okay,” she says with hesitation. “What is it?”
I bite down on my lower lip for a second as I think about how to word this.
“Do you have feelings for me?”
“Do I have feelings for you?” She parrots my words back at me as her right hand reaches up and rolls her earlobe.
I blow out a breath and try at a different angle.
“If your firm didn’t have a no-client-fraternization clause and your brother didn’t want to kill me for looking at you, would this”—I wave a hand between us—“be ending today?”
Her arms cross over the front of her chest. She is uncomfortable with the topic, and that makes two of us, but I have to know where I stand before we go play house with my parents. We still haven’t discussed how we’re going to break the news to either of our moms and with what’s going on with my dad, now doesn’t seem like the best time.
She reaches her hand up to her earlobe and rolls her opal stud earing around in her fingers, her tell, as she stares down at the cement floors of the parking garage, thinking. “Would my answer change anything? Because all of it would still count against us. My brother will never approve of us, and my boss won’t bend the rules for me, and I understand why she can’t. She doesn’t want a company mutiny due to favoritism.”
I look down in disappointment. It’s what I thought her answer would be.
I nod.
She gave me an answer to let me down lightly. She loves her job, and she’s never made it a secret that she was only doing this for the promotion. I owe it to her, for everything she’s done, not to make any of this any harder on her, but I still have one last request to make.
If I can’t bring her home as my real girlfriend, can I at least bring her home as my fake?
“We’re about to go home to our families, and it would mean a lot to me if we could fake this for a little longer… just until we get back to Seattle. My dad’s health—”
“Of course,” she blurts out, uncrossing her arms across her chest and laying a single hand on my left arm. The contact feels good. “I would never want to compromise his health. We can fake it while we’re in town. We’ll find another time to tell them,” she agrees.
I sigh in relief but also a little crack forms in my chest that the end will still come.
This wasn’t the answer I wanted, but it’ll take one big elephant off my chest for the next few days while we try to get my dad well.
“Thank you,” I tell her. She smiles, nods, and takes a step back as if I’m going to climb into my car and leave, and she should give me space.
I don’t fucking want space.
I want her.
I want her in my car for the next four hours.
I want to spend the next 240 minutes explaining why being together is the only right choice for us.
I want to use up every one of the 14,400 seconds to think through every possible scenario that would lead to us being together, for real this time.
But she’s already pulling away from me, from this.
I look into her eyes as she looks back at me. She hasn’t turned around and climbed into her own car. She’s still standing near, waiting for something. That has to mean something, right?
“This might not be what you want to hear,” I start, and I can see her tense and brace for the impact of my words. She doesn’t know where I’m going with this, and I can see it on her face. “But if given the opportunity, I’d do anything you asked me to do to be with you.”
There’s shock on her face. I’ve shocked her into silence, but silence isn’t what I was going for. I want her to run into my arms. Kiss me and tell me that we’ll do whatever we have to to be together; fuck everything else.
But she doesn’t.
She just stares back at me.
A blank look on her face.
“I should go,” I say when the silence stretches on for a painful length.
I don’t deserve Autumn Daughtry. That I’m sure of, and now I’m confident that she knows that too, just like Isaac does. She has a future ahead of her. A shooting star and I won’t be a part of it.
I open the door of my car and slide in. Still, there’s a part of me that hopes seeing me get in my vehicle will break loose the fact that I’m leaving. That this moment between us… this small window that’s closing quickly shouldn’t be squandered and left with unspoken words but to my disappointment, she still says nothing.
Finally, I pull my door shut and buckle up, then put my car in reverse. As I back up, I watch as she grips herself tighter and takes a couple of steps back to get out of the way of my tires.
I can feel her eyes on me, but I can’t look up at her.
I’m leaving Seattle, headed for Walla Walla, and I’m leaving my heart punctured and bleeding at her feet on the cement floor of the underground garage.
Now I’m relieved to have the four-hour drive alone. I’ll have time to get my shit together before she and I have to play the happy couple again… in front of an audience of people who know us best.
