Mom hands me a steaming cup of tea. I lift it to my lips and breathe in the soothing peppermint scent as she sits down next to me. Tonight is my first night back at home, and although I’m happy to see Mom, my heart still aches. It seems ridiculous. How can I mourn something that was never real to begin with? And yet, I do. If it’s this hard for me, I can’t imagine how Mom must have felt when my dad walked away from her, especially since she was pregnant with me.
Mom places a comforting hand on my back. “How are you doing, sweetheart?”
There’s no point in lying. “I just feel sad all the time. And angry. I’m angry too. But mostly sad and embarrassed.” I look down, a lump forming in my throat.
She gently rubs my back. “You have every right to be angry and sad. That’s normal when any relationship ends. But why are you embarrassed?”
“I should have known better. I did know better, but I did it anyway. Got involved with a rich man and fell in love. I did everything you warned me against doing.”
Mom sighs and brushes some hair off my face. “Warning someone when it comes to matters of the heart never works. I should know. My parents warned me enough.” She laughs softly. “And they were right. And they were wrong, too. Because look what I got.” She smiles at me, love shining in her eyes.
I can’t help but smile back, and I lean into her, laying my head on her shoulder. “I love you too.”
“Don’t let one selfish man harden your heart, sweetheart. There will be others. Men who will love you for all that you are. And then that one special man who steals your heart and refuses to let it go.”
“That wasn’t the case for you, though, Mom,” I say softly.
“Well,” she says, “I had more love than I needed with my little snuggle bug.” She smiles, using the childhood nickname she used to call me.
I laugh through my tears. “I haven’t been a snuggle bug for a while.”
Mom strokes my hair. “You’ll always be my snuggle bug. And besides, it’s not like I’ve ruled out meeting someone. I’m just not putting any pressure on myself. If it happens, it happens.”
I let out a breath. “I’m glad I came home.”
“I’m always glad to have you home. You know that,” Mom says. “But make sure it’s because you want to be here, not because you’re scared. Be brave. Choose to live your life despite the people who might try to drag you down.”
“I will, Mom. I have some time to think about what I want to do, and I have that meeting with Anderson-Bennet next week. I’ll see how that goes, and then I can make a choice.”
“That’s all I ask. Don’t give up your dreams because of a man.”
“I won’t.” I hug her tightly, and she holds me close. Then I let out a breath and lean back against the couch, taking another sip of peppermint tea. I think about what I just said, and I wonder if my dreams might have changed. Going back to working so hard and never letting myself go enough to really enjoy life doesn’t sound so appealing anymore. I guess if Cole has given me anything, he’s given me a new perspective. I want to make Mom happy, but I know she won’t want me to do it at the expense of my own happiness.
“Come on,” I say. “We didn’t get to finish our Buffy marathon last time I was here. Now we’ll have plenty of time.”
She settles back in the seat next to me as I get the episode queued up. No matter how my heart has been broken, I’ll always have Mom.
I rest my head on her shoulder again, and she reaches for my hand, holding it tight.
“SO, you’re currently working in New York.” The elegant, dark-haired woman looks over the top of her glasses at me. “Can you tell me why you’re considering leaving?”
I cross my legs and glance at the three partners of Anderson-Bennet. “I’ve loved working with Elite over the last year, but I realized how much I miss being near family. I guess I just got homesick.”
She smiles warmly. “I know that feeling. I worked in New York for two years before moving home. It can be a big, lonely city.”
Something pinches in my chest. “Yes, it can.”
She nods and looks back at my résumé. “Honestly, everything I see here is perfect. We’d be foolish not to take you on, particularly considering your recent work with the King Group. We don’t have many people with your qualifications and experience knocking down our door.”
“Thank you.”
She taps a fingernail on the desk. “You only need to consider whether you’ll really be happy downscaling your work. We don’t have a lot of billion-dollar companies on our books, and there’s a chance you might get bored. Take some time to think about it, maybe two weeks, and then call us back with your decision.”
I smile and nod. “Thank you, I’ll do that.”
After saying our farewells, I leave the office and get in my rental. If I move back here, I’ll have to buy a car. I curl my fingers around the steering wheel and take a deep breath. I’m so conflicted. I love working in New York, but I miss Mom, and with everything that’s happened with Paul and Cole, the comfort of home is pulling at my heart now.
I have three more weeks of leave after this one, so at least I’ll have time to think about it before I make a decision. Hopefully when my heart has healed a little and my head is clearer.
Though I’ve got a horrible feeling it will take more than three weeks for the pain in my heart to ease.
I shift the car into gear and head home.
