I stalk into the room that I’ve claimed as my own. Most nights, Malachi shares it. Wolf’s here more than half of the time, too. Not Rylan. Never Rylan. He alone doesn’t seem to have a use for me, which should irritate me, but right now it’s almost a relief.
Almost as if my thoughts summoned him, the curtains billow out from the window and then he’s there, a dark silhouette against the full moon in the shadows of the room. The shadows clothe him well enough, but I know he’s naked. He always is after shifting back to human.
I stop short, planting my feet against the nearly overwhelming need to go to him. To run my hands up his bare chest and rub as much of my skin against his as I can manage. To take him into my body and ride until we’re both sweaty and sated.
It’s the bond. I know it’s the bond.
The feeling in my chest isn’t a tug any longer. It’s a riptide, and I’m losing ground. I stagger forward a step. “What are you doing here?”
“I…couldn’t stay away.” He sounds like he’s speaking through gritted teeth. “I tried.”
My body takes me another step closer to him. It’s like something else resides within my skin. A force I can’t fight; I don’t even know how to try. I grab the footboard of the bed. “Leave. I don’t…” The surge in my chest gets stronger. “I can’t control this.”
“I can’t leave. It won’t let me.” He says the words with such finality. As if pronouncing a death sentence.
It’s only then that I notice how his body shakes. He’s fighting this as much as I am. My fingers release the footboard without my permission and I stumble another few steps closer. “I hate this.”
Rylan catches my elbows, and even that touch is enough to dim the pressing magic a little. I exhale shakily. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that.” He tightens his grip. “Stop fucking apologizing to me.”
I shouldn’t find his anger reassuring. It shouldn’t feel like a bridge forming between us, a shared experience that neither of us want. I can’t help it. I rest my forehead against his chest and close my eyes. “I guess there are limits to this, too. Can’t fly too far from me. Can’t go too long without…this.”
“Tell me to stop and I’ll find a way.”
I open my eyes and drag in a breath. “It will hurt both of us if you do.”
“Still,” he speaks through gritted teeth. “Wolf can cause injuries serious enough that regenerating will take up all my strength. It’ll buy time.”
I blink. “Would you rather we do that?” I’m not sure how I feel about the idea that he might prefer to be maimed than to have sex with me, but I’m not exactly frothing at the mouth to fuck him, either. Still…
Rylan’s muscles clench beneath my palms. I don’t even remember putting my hands on his chest. He curses. “No, I don’t want that. I resent the hell out of this bond—out of you—but that doesn’t change the fact that I want you. Fucking you is no hardship, Mina.”
“No hardship.” My laugh comes out jagged. “It is if we don’t choose this.”
“Tell me to stop and I’ll find a way,” he repeats.
That’s the thing. I don’t want him to stop. I can blame the bond, but the truth is that I’ve been drawn to Rylan since I first saw him. I’ve hated him, resented him, but neither of those feelings have been enough to combat the sheer desire that licks at me every time we get too close. “I won’t ask that of you,” I whisper. I’m not even sure which outcome I’m talking about.
Rylan doesn’t ask.
He yanks me against him, plastering us together. He takes my mouth. It can barely be called a kiss. It feels like an attack I’m only too happy to meet halfway. This is what I need. If we must do this, we’ll do it our way. Angry. Just shy of violent.
I shove him back, and he twists just enough that he hits the wall instead of the open window. The impact still shakes us both. Not enough. It’s not fucking enough. Every time I turn around, I’m being reminded of how little control I have, how very much I’m at the whims of powers far beyond me. These vampires. The bond. Even my father. All have power where I have none.
I just want to forget.
Rylan spins me around and I barely catch myself on the window ledge. He doesn’t give me time to recover, kicking my legs wide and then he’s there, shoving his giant cock into me. He’s almost too big to make it work, even after fucking Malachi and Wolf earlier. Not that he cares. Not that I care. I press back, taking him deeper. “More.”
His hands land on my hips. Sharp pain makes me jump. I twist to find that the tips of his fingers have…changed. Into claws. “Rylan?”
“Sorry,” he grits out. “Can’t control it.”
He hesitates, but I’m having none of it. “Don’t stop.”
Rylan takes me at my word. He pounds into me, each stroke relieving a layer of pressure on the bond. I didn’t realize how intensely his absence weighed on me until we’re as close as two people can be, his body invading mine. The relief has me nearly giddy, which only stokes my anger hotter. “Harder.”
The sharp pain of his claws dig in and then he’s doing just as I command. Fucking me just shy of violently. Taking his frustrations out on my willing body.
Because I am willing.
I didn’t choose the bond, but I choose this.
Pleasure instead of violent pain.
I look out over the grounds around this house. Trees crowd close to the house, giving the impression of us being cut off from the rest of the world. Overhead, the moon is the only witness for what we do in the dark. Pleasure builds in time with the pounding Rylan’s giving me. It feels so good that I want it to go on forever.
He has other ideas.
He loops an arm around my waist and hauls me away from the window. To the bed. I get a glimpse of his bloody claws, and for reasons I’m not inclined to examine, the sight makes me clench around his cock. Rylan growls and then he pulls out of me, flipping me around and shoving me down to the mattress.
The only other time we had sex, he was distant for the whole experience. He practically orchestrated it, overseeing things to ensure my power awoke and I broke the blood ward. Even when he was fucking my mouth, he was restrained and in control. There’s none of that control now.
He covers me with his body, wrapping his claws around my wrists. “I can’t stop.”
“Don’t.” I lift my hips, angling to take his cock again. He shoves into me, and we release twin shaky breaths. This isn’t enough, though. I knew it wouldn’t be upon the first stroke. I tilt my head to the side. “Bite me.”
“Mina.” Upon his lips, my name sounds like a benediction and a curse, all wrapped up into one. He bites me with the speed of a striking cobra. Too deep. I can tell that from the moment his teeth sink into my skin. They’re larger than normal, sharper. A predator’s teeth meant for ripping and tearing.
Fuck.
This is bad.
The sharp spike of fear is instantly swallowed by the pleasure of his bite. I orgasm hard, wrapping my legs around his waist in an attempt to get him closer, deeper. To make this wave last forever. He keeps fucking me in a borderline frenzy, his mouth latched onto my neck. My blood is flowing freely, too freely, but I can’t quite bring myself to care. Not when he’s so close.
His strokes lose their steady rhythm and he grinds into me as he comes. I hear shouts in the distance, but I don’t really care about that, either.
At least I don’t until Rylan lifts his head and snarls. The sound is beastly and far too deep to have come from his throat. In fact, he feels bigger all around right now, as if he’s put mass onto his muscled frame while I wasn’t paying attention.
He pumps into me almost leisurely, but his eyes—now fully silver—are on something outside of the bed. I start to turn my head, but stop when pain flares to life with a strength that makes me gasp.
That brings Rylan’s gaze back to me. His eyes drop to my neck and he licks his lips. Blood covers the lower half of his face. It covers everything. Him. Me. The bed. Too much blood, even for me.
“Rylan!” That’s Malachi’s bellow. Close enough to rattle my bones.
Rylan gives himself a shake. He’s moving strangely, as if not quite at home in his body. Slowly, so so slowly, he releases one of my wrists and uses a claw to cut his neck. His blood joins mine on his skin, but I can’t quite make my body obey my command to lift my head and drink.
Something akin to true fear flashes over his face. “Fuck.”
“Feed her, you idiot!” That’s Wolf. He sounds almost…worried.
Rylan carefully slides his hand under my head, his claws tangling in my hair, and lifts me as he lowers himself down. My lips touch his neck and fire lashes my tongue. Another swallow and I’m able to latch onto him. Not as well as he could with his superior teeth, but enough that I can drink freely from him. Each mouthful of blood chases away the cobwebs that had sprouted in my head. I swear I can actually feel my body knitting itself back together, muscle and veins and skin.
Gods, he really fucked me up.
He’s already hard inside me again, and he starts to withdraw, but I dig my heels into the small of his back. I manage to lift my head enough to say, “Just a little more.”
It might be my imagination, but Rylan makes a sound that’s filled with relief. “Consider it done.” His grip on my head goes gentle and he moves against me, in me, leisurely as I drink from him.
This time, when my orgasm comes, it’s softer and nearly sweet and Rylan follows me over the edge immediately. He eases out of me, but doesn’t move away entirely. I’m shaking. Or maybe he’s shaking. I can’t tell.
Malachi and Wolf descend on us. Malachi yanks Rylan off me, his big hand wrapped around the other vampire’s throat and murder on his face. I struggle to sit up, but Wolf is there, climbing behind me and pulling me between his legs to rest against his chest. He has a knife in one hand and presses the blade to his forearm with the other. “You need more.”
“Malachi.” My voice is hoarse. I’m not sure if it’s from fucking or damage done by Rylan’s bite, and I don’t care. “Get your hands off him.”
“He almost killed you.”
“Let him go.” My words ring with a foreign power, making my tongue feel like it’s sparking. It surges out from me in an arrow aimed right at Malachi.
He drops his hand as if burned. Rylan staggers back a step and slumps against the wall. He looks like shit. I feel like shit. Tomorrow, I’ll be worried about how close we got to the point of no return. I’ll torment myself with how to balance the bond so it doesn’t happen again. I’ll do a lot of things. Tomorrow. “Just leave.”
“Little dhampir.”
“Leave.”
He hesitates, clearly fighting the command. I’ll regret this tomorrow, too. I close my eyes so I don’t have to see him stalk out of the room, and I almost manage to contain my flinch at the way the door slams behind him.
Wolf shifts behind me and I open my eyes. “I’m angry at you, too.”
“Be angry later. You need this.”
I ignore his uncharacteristic seriousness and focus on Rylan. “Sit down before you fall down.”
“Is that an order?” It’s a token of how out of it he is that his question is barely tinged with frost instead of its normal iciness.
I slump back against Wolf despite my best efforts. Damn it, he’s right. I need more blood. I’m dizzy and everything feels like it’s too far away. “You want to collapse because of pride? Suit yourself.”
Wolf presses his forearm to my lips. “Drink.”
I do, greedy pulls of his blood into me. I don’t know if it’s because Wolf’s Bloodline controls power over blood or if I’m just feeling better already, but I can actually sense it healing me. I take two more pulls and then push his arm away. “That’s enough.”
“It’s not enough.” Wolf’s arms tense around me as if he’s considering restraining me, but he finally lets them drop.
I fight my way to the edge of the bed and stand on shaking legs. Even with Rylan and Wolf’s blood coursing through me, I’m not going to be okay for a bit. But I’m alive and walking around, so that’s more than enough.
I stagger to Rylan, stopping just out of reach. For the first time since it snapped into place, the bond is quiet. It won’t last; I know that now. I’m still going to appreciate the reprieve.
For his part, Rylan looks just as shell-shocked as I feel. His body has gone back to normal. Vampire teeth. Human hands, not a claw in sight. I hesitate. “Are you okay?”
His smile holds no mirth. “I should be asking you that question.” His gaze lingers on my neck. I don’t know him well enough to read his expression, but it looks almost tormented. “This fucking bond. I don’t lose control. Not like that.”
“I’m fine.” My gravely tone threatens to make a liar out of me. I gingerly touch my fingertips to the newly healed skin of my neck. “By tomorrow, there won’t be a mark.”
“Mina—”
I let my hand drop. I don’t want his apologies. I’m not certain that’s what he’s about to say, but I don’t give him a chance. “Come on. We need to clean up.” The bed is ruined. Blood soaks the entire mattress. Changing the sheets won’t help. I glance at Wolf. “Do you mind airing out the spare bedroom? I think we have some sheets left over from the last shopping trip.” They’re always on the list since we go through them so often. Blood is a hell of a stain to try to get out, but the real problem is that they keep getting torn up when our bedroom games get rough.
His pale gaze flicks between me and Rylan. Finally, he climbs off the bed and gives a theatrical bow. “As the lady commands.”
“It wasn’t a—” He’s gone before I can finish. I sigh. “It wasn’t a command.”
“Semantics.” Rylan still doesn’t sound like himself. The icy distance that I find strangely comforting is nowhere in evidence. He doesn’t even argue as I nudge him in the direction of the bathroom.
I’m weaving on my feet, exhaustion pulling at my body, but it feels important to do this. The why matters less than following my instincts in this situation, so I turn on the water, wait for it to heat up, and then give Rylan another nudge.
Again, he doesn’t argue. He simply steps into the shower. But he catches my hand and tows me in after him. Neither of us speak. He doesn’t comment on the way I scrub the blood off his chest and neck. I don’t make note how his leaning on me suggests that he’s nowhere near as okay as he said.
By the time we’re done, I can barely keep my eyes open.
Strangely enough, I’m not remotely surprised to find Wolf and Malachi waiting for us. Wolf wraps a towel around me and sweeps me off my feet, carrying me out of the room with quick strides.
Not quickly enough to avoid hearing Malachi’s low words to Rylan. “I told you so.”
