Present
“Isla!” My mom’s voice sounds from down the hall. Her heels click on the hardwood floor as she pushes my suitcases to the front door. “Your brother will be here any minute. Do you have all of your stuff?”
Grabbing my backpack, I throw it over my shoulder and give my bedroom a last farewell before heading down the stairs. “Yeah, I have everything packed. Although, I honestly think that I might have overpacked.”
My mom is standing by the door as August strolls in with a bright smile on his face. The two of them look almost identical with their soft brown hair that is naturally wavy. Both of them look at me with their soft hazel eyes. “Are you sure that you don’t want your father and I to help you get settled into your dorm?”
“Come on, Mom,” August whines, wrapping his arm around the tops of her shoulders and pulling her against him. “You don’t trust me to take care of my little sis?”
“I trust you, but this is a big day,” she says, her voice cracking slightly as she sniffles. “Both of my kids are going to be out of the house and I don’t know what I’m going to do with it being so quiet and empty here.”
“Hey now,” my dad interjects, stepping up behind me as he rests his hand on my shoulder. “Did you forget that your husband will still be here?”
August and I break out into a laugh as our mom shakes her head at our dad and sighs. “You know what I mean, Dennis. This is a big deal!”
“I know, I know,” my dad says with a chuckle as he steps in front of me and pulls me in for a hug. “We’re so proud of you, sweetheart.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I tell him, hugging him tightly before pulling away. The emotion wells in my throat and I swallow back the tears. I can’t let myself cry. I’m not going away forever. Even though Wyncote University is three hours away, I’m not that far away from them.
My mom breaks away from August, taking a step toward me with tears in her eyes as she embraces me tightly. “My baby,” she murmurs, her voice cracking. “I can’t believe you’re finally off to college. I am insanely proud of you, sweet girl.”
“You’ll see me soon enough, Mom,” I whisper, not fully trusting my voice. My parents have been such a constant in my life. It’s one of the many things that I have to be grateful for in life. So many of our friends come from broken homes. But not August and I. We have a great family and parents that have always gone above and beyond for us.
My mom takes a step back, wiping the tears from her eyes before holding my face in her hands. “You call me as soon as you get there, okay? I need to make sure that you get there safely.” She glances over her shoulder, narrowing her eyes at August. “We all know how your brother drives like he’s a race car driver.”
“Hey! That’s not true.” August smiles at our parents as they both give him a knowing look. “Okay, I might drive a little fast sometimes, but I’m still a safe driver.”
“No dumb shit, August,” my dad warns him. “Just get her there in one piece.”
I walk over to August as he presses his hand over his chest. “The two of you wound me. You know that Isla isn’t your only child. You do have a son too.”
“Shut up,” I laugh, punching him lightly in his firm shoulder. “You’ve been the apple of their eye for many years. Let me have this moment.”
August slides the handles of my suitcases into his hands and lifts them effortlessly. I readjust the backpack on my shoulders as I turn back to my parents once more.
“The two of you better leave before I decide to keep you here forever.’ My mom smiles, her eyes wet with emotion. “We love you both!”
We bid our farewells to our parents and it’s a bittersweet moment as I climb into August’s car while he throws my suitcases into the trunk. He slams it shut and the car dips beneath his weight as he climbs into the driver’s side. My eyes are glued to the house as he starts the engine and slowly backs out of the driveway.
This is the home that I’ve known my entire life. So many memories were made inside those walls and it feels strange, leaving it all behind. I know that I’ll be back in a few months for winter break, but I’m stepping out of my comfort zone. There’s a weird sense of excitement as we leave. I’m off to college, off to another chapter in my life.
August glances over at me as he slides his sunglasses over his eyes. His smile is infectious as he flashes his bright white teeth at me. “You ready for college, little sis?”
“I am,” I admit, smiling back at him. “I’m just a little nervous. I don’t really know anyone there and what if I don’t make any friends?”
He shakes his head at me as he pulls out onto the main road, heading in the direction of the freeway. “Nonsense. You will most definitely make friends and you already have some there anyways. You know me and you know Logan.”
My breath catches in my throat and I swallow hard over the knives lodged in my throat. I haven’t seen Logan since the night they left the summer before college. Logan and August ended up getting an apartment near campus together. Not long after they started their first year, Logan’s mom moved to the same city as them since she was pursuing her career as a sports agent.
There was no reason for Logan to come back to Clifton Falls since his mother was his only family. There was nothing left here for him… except me. He made a promise that he wouldn’t forget about me, but given his absence, I think it’s safe to say he broke that promise.
“How is Logan, anyways?” I ask my brother, attempting to keep my voice even and void of any emotion. He knows nothing of what had happened in the past with Logan and I have to keep it that way. I don’t know how well August would take it and the last thing I want to do is come between them.
August shrugs as he eases the car onto the freeway. “You know how Logan is. He isn’t exactly an open book, but he’s been good. Mainly just focused on hockey and school.” He pauses, glancing at me as a laugh rumbles in his chest. “Typical fucking Logan, right?”
I smile back at him, shaking my head as my heart clenches in my chest. “That sounds like the Logan we’ve always known.”
I fight the urge to ask him if Logan is seeing anyone. When it really comes down to it, it’s none of my business. And even though I asked him to promise me that he wouldn’t forget about me, I couldn’t expect him to not get involved with anyone else. He’s a young guy in college. We were never together anyway, so that wouldn’t be a realistic expectation or remotely fair to ask.
Logan was never mine.
And chances are he never will be.
It was easier to let go of my little obsession with him while he was gone. It had been almost two years and even though I still thought about him, I didn’t have him around every day as a constant reminder of what I would never have. But now… now he’s going to be back in my life again and I don’t know how I’m going to completely let go.
“What’s wrong, Isla?” August asks after we drive in silence for a few minutes. “You look like someone just killed your puppy or some shit.”
I look over at him, giving him the middle finger. “I’m just nervous, okay?”
“I get it, trust me,” August says softly with a sympathetic smile. “I promise, you will do fine. Like I said, you have me. I’ll always have your back, even if you are annoying as hell sometimes.”
“How can you be so nice, but such an asshole at the same time?”
August reaches for the volume knob and begins to turn it as the sound of rap begins to blare through the speakers. “I’m sorry! I can’t hear you over the music!” The bass is so loud, it feels like it’s rattling my brain, but then again, this is my brother. This is the shit I’ve missed from him.
Laughing to myself, I settle deeper into my seat and stare out the window as I watch the line of trees passing by us in a blur. “Such an asshole,” I mumble to myself, letting my eyes fall shut. I let the music drown out my thoughts and the movement of the car lull me to sleep.
When I wake up, I notice that we aren’t in front of the university. Instead, we’re pulling up in front of a swanky-looking apartment building. I glance at August as he puts the car in park, directly in front of the massive structure. “What are we doing here?”
“Surprise!” August pushes his sunglasses up over his head with a smile forming on his lips. “You really think I was going to let you stay in the shitty dorms when we have an extra bedroom in our apartment?”
I stare back at him. “But I thought I was supposed to be staying on campus?”
“Nah,” he says, shaking his head as he pushes open his door. “I ran it past Mom and Dad and they were cool with it. I told them not to say anything because I wanted it to be a surprise.”
August climbs out of the car, softly shutting the door behind him, and I’m left staring at where he was just sitting. He rounds the back of the car and unloads my bags from the trunk. Coming to the same school that Logan attends was bad enough… but now I’m going to be living in their apartment too?
If only the ground would open up and swallow me whole. That would be pretty freaking great right now.
August stops by my window and the sound of his knuckles on the glass grabs my attention. I glance over at him, swallowing back my anxiety as I slowly open my door and climb out. “Come on. It’s cold as fuck out here and your bags are heavy as hell.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You basically live at the ice rink and you’re complaining about the temperature outside right now?”
He rolls his eyes, walking past me as he drops my suitcases onto the sidewalk in front of the apartment building. I follow after him, grabbing one of the handles as he slides them up. “That’s different. You of all people should know that.”
“Whatever,” I mumble. “I didn’t ask for you to do all of this.”
“And you didn’t have to.” He smiles at me, ignoring my attitude as he heads into the building. I follow him, inhaling the fresh scent in the building. My eyes wander around the entranceway and it feels more like an expensive hotel than an apartment building as we walk toward the elevator. “What kind of a brother would I be if I didn’t do this kind of stuff for my most favorite person in the world?”
The elevator dings and the doors slide open as we both walk inside, August with a smile on his face while he presses one of the numbers, and me trying to swallow my heart down as it crawls into my throat. “You must have me confused with yourself. I’m pretty sure if anyone is your favorite, it’s yourself.”
“Ah, there she is,” he beams, pulling me in for a sideways hug as we ride the elevator up to the seventh floor. “My snarky little sister. I was afraid that our time apart would make you lose your touch of talking shit. I can see you still have it.”
I push him away, both of us laughing as he distracts my mind from what I’m about to walk into. August dives into mindless conversation about how he’ll take me to campus tomorrow and make sure I get a tour and everything I need for when classes start on Monday. It isn’t until we’re walking up to the door to their apartment that the reality of the situation comes back to me full force.
August is about to open the door, when it’s pulled open by someone on the other side. It opens wide enough for us to enter, and I see him. He looks like I remember, only he’s matured and filled out more, his body in impeccable shape from the demands of college hockey. His inky hair is still a tousled mess that falls just above his eyebrows and his ocean blue eyes shine as they meet mine.
The corners of his plump lips lift upward into a mischievous grin, showing his perfectly straight teeth, and the air leaves my lungs in a rush. My heart pounds erratically in its cage and for a moment, I’m frozen in place as I stare back at him.
Logan Knight.
The boy I’ve loved my entire life.
“Welcome home.”
