I’m tired and hungry and decide to fix at least one of those problems by grabbing a bagel from the kitchen. I probably should have put pants on but I doubt anyone is going to come inside, and at least I bothered to slip underwear on before heading to the kitchen.
Dominique’s shirt hangs down to the middle of my thighs, which is more than the swimsuit was covering. I should shred the damn thing. All I’ve had these past few hours is time. Time to think about how twisted up I am about a guy who clearly doesn’t give a shit about me. I’m not this person, so why am I letting him get to me?
Decision made, I’m done letting him tell me what to do, or wear. I’m done giving a shit about his feelings or worrying about whether or not he’s interested in me. I’m over it.
I’m going to focus on school. I’ll date. Yes, I’ll definitely date. Maybe Quinn or one of the other girls can fix me up with someone. I need to get over whatever it is that I feel for that asshole.
The toaster dings and I retrieve my bagel, dropping it on a plate before spreading a thin layer of butter on it. Next I add a layer of jelly. I know you’re supposed to use cream cheese, but I’m not a huge fan and this tastes a whole lot better. The door leading to the backyard opens and Deacon steps inside.
“Hey,” he says upon seeing me right as I bite into my bagel.
I give him a wave and point to my mouth as I chew. He nods and a few seconds later I swallow. “Sorry. Didn’t want to talk with my mouth full.”
“No problem.” He shifts uncomfortably.
“So…” I say.
“Yeah. Sorry. I was just coming in to use the bathroom.”
I point down the hall. “First door on your right.”
He nods. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” He goes to take care of business and I put the butter and jelly back in the refrigerator. I take another bite of my bagel and grab a napkin before turning back to the fridge for a bottle of water. Hands full, I head back for my room right as Deacon exits the bathroom. “Have fun,” I tell him as I slip past.
“Oh, hey, wait up.”
I slow my steps, but I don’t stop entirely. “What’s up?”
“I was hoping we could talk,” he says.
“I thought we already did?” We pause outside my room. I have a bagel in one hand and the water in the other so I’ll need to shift things around to free up a hand, but I have a feeling if I open my door, he’ll want to come inside, and I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Deacon is nice, and hot. But I’m in a weird head space right now, and yes, I definitely want to get over whatever hangup I have for Dominique at the moment, but I know myself. I’ll do something reckless, like throw myself at the guy and just make a bigger mess out of things, which isn’t fair to him. I need to find a guy not on the football team. One Dominique can’t screw with to get at me.
“We did, it’s just—” My door swings open on its own. Correction, the jerkface standing inside my room opens it.
“Leave,” he says to Deacon, right as I say, “What the hell are you doing in my room?”
Dominique doesn’t look at me, his penetrating stare resting solely on Deacon.
“Look, man…”
Dom shakes his head. “I don’t have time to deal with you right now. You need to go. Now.”
Deacon’s shoulders are stiff as the guys stare off with one another. Screw this.
“Hi. I have a better idea. How about you both leave. That’d be great.”
Deacon looks down at me, a flicker of hurt in his eyes, and I wince. “Sorry,” I tell him. “This one brings the bitch out in me.”
That seems to satisfy him, but still, neither guy moves. I turn to Dom. “Why are you even here?” I just decided I’m done with his crap and this is what the universe does? It’d be bad enough if he showed up on my doorstep, but in my room? Really?
Dom looks down at me. “We need to talk.”
I scoff. “Pass. I don’t have anything to say to you.” The universe can shove it for all I care.
He gives me a once over, a smirk curling the corners of his mouth when he sees I’m wearing his shirt. “That looks good on you.” He fingers one of the sleeves.
I smack his hand away with my bottle. “Go home, Dom.”
“Kasey.” There’s a warning there.
“She said go home, man. Take the hint and back off.”
Surprising me, Dom ignores him. Well, I guess that isn’t really surprising, but I expected a verbal jab or maybe even a punch after that comment.
“I just want to talk—”
“No,” I snap. Honestly, I don’t want to talk to either of them. I want to eat my bagel and then I want to go to bed.
“No?” He rears back incredulously.
“You heard me. No. You were a complete asshole today. You were an asshole last week. You keep fucking with me and for what? I’m tired of this game, Dom. So, no, I don’t want to talk to you. Not today. Not tomorrow. Just, go away.”
He exhales a harsh breath and his eyes soften the slightest bit. “Kasey, I…” He pauses and turns to Deacon. “Look, I don’t like you, but I need to talk to her about personal shit. So, you gotta bounce. Now.”
Deacon’s jaw tightens, but he nods. “Fine. But only if you get the team to stop fucking me over in practice.”
“Done.”
A nod. A handshake. And then Deacon leaves, and wasting no time, Dominique pulls me into the room and closes the door behind me.
“Just because you got rid of Deacon doesn’t mean I’m going to talk to you. You can go, too,” I tell him, setting my water and bagel down on the nightstand.
He sighs, and I know he’s going to try again, but I’ve had time to think and I’m done. I want off his merry-go-round. “What part of go are you not understanding?”
His Adam’s apple bobs. “It’s about your mom.”
A strangled laugh escapes me and I swing my arms wide. “What? What about her is so important that you had to come fuck up my night after already screwing my day?”
He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me like I’m a little crazy and so what, maybe I am, but he made me this way. He’s the one butting into my life. Interjecting himself where he doesn’t belong, and now this.
“Well? What was so damn important that you couldn’t just leave me the fuck alone?” He’s not leaving. Fine. I’ll leave instead. I grab a pair of leggings—I’ll throw them on in the car—slip on some sandals, and grab my phone and keys. Jerking my bedroom door open, I head for the side door.
“Kasey!” He calls my name, but I don’t stop.
“Go home, Dom,” I call over my shoulder as I make it outside.
A few of the girls are outside hanging out on the picnic table. All of them looking my way as I exit the house, Dominique right behind me.
“Kasey, stop.”
I flip him off over my shoulder and he growls. Actually growls. I’m almost to my car when he grabs me by the elbow, and I’m about to tear away from him when he bites out,“Your mom was in an accident.”
“What?” I shake my head and pull away. “She literally called today while you were in my room earlier.”
“Kasey,” his voice is soft, eyes somber. A stab of pain hits me in the chest. No. He’s wrong. I just talked to her a few days ago and she was fine. And she called earlier today. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I pull out my phone and punch in her number.
“Kasey—”
I hold my finger up, silently telling him to wait.
The call goes straight to voicemail. My stomach sinks, but no, that doesn’t mean anything. Mom is forgetful. Her phone is probably dead. Once she charges it, she’ll see the missed call and call me right back. It’s fine. Everything is fine.
A notification flashes across the screen. I have a voicemail. I smack my forehead. Of course I do. She called earlier and left me a message. I enter my pin and wait for the message to start.
“Hey, sweetheart. I just wanted to check in on my girl. Hope you’re having fun. I’ll call yo—” her voice cuts off. There’s the sound of tires squealing in the background. A shrill scream. The crunch of metal.
Oh my God! “Mom!” No. No. No. She has to be okay. She— Dominique reaches out, but I slap his hand away. I need to find my brother. I need… I drop my phone and shove past him. “Kasey, stop.”
I don’t. I move for my car, but strong arms band around me, turning me until we’re face to face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how else to tell you.”
I shove against his chest, but he doesn’t budge. Instead, he holds me tighter against his chest, one hand cupping the back of my head. “I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I shake my head. “No!” My vision blurs, but I blink back the tears. “Never let them see you cry, sweetheart.” Mom’s words echo in my head.
I sniff and pull away. This time, he lets me go. “She’s fine though, right? She’s at a hospital or whatever? She’s getting treatment?” I rub my eyes with the backs of my hands.
He doesn’t say anything. He just stands there looking at me with eyes full of what …regret?
“Well?” I shout. “You can talk now. That’s why you’re here, right? Is she going to be okay?” I need to talk to my teachers. If Mom is hurt she’ll need someone to look after her. At least until she’s back on her feet. I don’t know how much time I can miss from school, but I’ll figure that out later. Aaron will—shit. I need to talk to my brother. Does he know Mom was in an accident?
“Where’s Aaron?”
“He’s at home.”
I frown. “Does he know Mom was hurt? I have to call him.”
“He knows,” Dominique says. “The hospital called him.”
Okay. Good. She’s at a hospital. That’s good. But, “Why isn’t he here? Why are you here telling me about my mom instead of him?” Anger floods my system and I latch onto it.
A tormented look flashes across his face. “He’s having a hard time with the news. I don’t…” he takes a deep breath, “He didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Is he packing at least?” I run through my mental to-do list. Pack some clothes. Notify my teachers that I have a family emergency. Book a flight to Florida. Shit. I don’t even have the new address.
I’ll figure that out once I talk to Aaron. I whirl around to go back inside. “Where are you going?”
“I need to pack.”
“Kasey!”
“Dominique. I don’t have time. If Mom is hurt, I need—”
“She didn’t make it.”
Something squeezes my chest and all the air whooshes out of my lungs. “W…what?”
My knees shake and everything suddenly sounds far away.
Dominique steps toward me, but it’s almost like he’s out of focus. My vision is dark along the edges.
“What do you mean, she didn’t make it?” My voice is quiet, almost like if I say the words too loud it will make them real. But they can’t be real. Mom is fine. She has to be fine.
“I’m so sorry,” he tells me. This time, I believe him.
“No.” I press the palm of my hand to my chest. “She can’t … no. She has to be okay. My mom,” I choke back a sob. “No. She has to be okay!”
Dominique steps closer, his hands reaching out almost like I’m a wild animal he’s afraid to spook.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“No, it’s not. It is not going to be okay. This is not okay!”
“Fuck. I know. I’m sorry. That was the wrong thing to say.”
I can’t breathe. I’m opening and closing my mouth, trying to suck in air, but it’s like my lungs have stopped working. I’m like a fish stuck on shore and I can’t fucking breath.
“Kasey? Fuck. Kasey!”
A large hand forces my head between my knees. I didn’t realize I’d fallen to the ground. “Breath, baby girl. In and out. That’s good. Take another breath.”
I try to focus on his words, but my chest hurts. It really really hurts.
He rubs circles across my back as I fight to get my emotions under control, but as soon as I manage to suck in a full breath, the tears come pouring out. A distant part of me is screaming to get it together. To push him away and find somewhere private to cry, but I can’t move. I want to get up, but it’s like the part of my brain that controls my limbs isn’t working.
Strong arms scoop me up and the next thing I know I’m nestled in Dominique’s arms as he walks me to his Escalade. My entire body shakes like a leaf. She’s gone. She’s really gone. The realization slams into me like a freight train and a new wave of tears falls down my cheeks.
Dominique sets me down on the passenger seat. How he opened the door while holding me, I don’t know. He reaches over me and secures my seat belt before cupping my cheeks, his thumbs wiping the tears on my face. “You’re going to get through this,” he says, his voice somehow both soft and firm.
I hear the words, but I don’t believe them. How does anyone get through something like this? How does anyone recover after losing their mom?
The rest of the night is a blur. Dominique takes me to his place, but I don’t remember the drive there or even getting out of his Escalade and walking inside.
Aaron is there. Allie too. She hugs me, I think. I’m not really sure.
And then, nothing.
