“Kasey?”
I blink sleep from my eyes. Sunlight filters in through the window and it takes me a minute before I’m able to turn my head and find the person who said my name.
“Dom?”
He steps further into the room and I push up on my hands. I’m in bed. But, it’s not mine. This bed is a queen but I know mine in my room at the Kappa Mu house is a full. “Whose bed is this?” I ask. My throat is dry and my words come out raspy.
Dominique sits down beside me, placing a hand on my leg. “You’re in our guest room. You fell asleep, so I brought you here.” He shrugs. “Figured this would be more comfortable than the couch.”
That makes sense. “Thanks.”
He stares at me intently before asking, “Are you feeling okay? Did you … did you want to talk?”
I scowl. “Why would I want to—” Last night comes rushing back to me and I suck in a shuddering breath.
“Kasey?”
Oh God.
“Hey. Hey!” He cups both sides of my face and my vision swims. I’m crumbling, and he gets a front row seat to the show. “It’s okay.”
I shake my head. No. It’s not okay. My mom is dead. I’m seventeen and she’s fucking dead.
I pull away from his touch and turn to my side, resting my head on the pillow as silent sobs wrack my body. Don’t let him see you cry. I tell myself. You fucked that up yesterday. Don’t make it worse. Hold it together.
A rough hand rubs my back, but I pull away from the touch.
“Leave me alone,” I whisper.
“Kasey.” He sighs, and there’s pity in his voice. It makes my tears fall faster. I don’t want his pity. I just … I want my mom.
Dominique leaves and I lose track of time after that. Day turns to night only to become day. It happens again and again, day after day. But, I barely move from the bed. I get up to use the bathroom. Sometimes I get up and sit by the window and look outside. The last time I did that I fell asleep, only to wake as Dominique laid me back in bed.
He brings me water. A few times he’s tried to get me to eat but I’m never hungry. He’s being nice to me and I hate it. This isn’t how our relationship works. It’s not helping me. It just makes it all worse.
The door to my room opens and I know without rolling over to look that it’s Dominique who’s come inside. I haven’t seen Aaron since I got here. He’s dealing with his own grief. Neither one of us is really equipped to help the other right now. I feel like a shitty sister about that, but I’m pretty sure he feels like a shitty brother too, so I figure we’re square.
“How are you feeling?” He always asks the same question as if he doesn’t already know the answer, so like all the other times, I don’t bother to respond.
Dominique sighs and moves around the bed. He crouches down in front of me but I keep my eyes closed, hoping he’ll take the hint and go away.
“You’re not really asleep.”
So? I want to tell him, but I stay quiet.
Another sigh. “The girls are here.”
That catches my attention and I snap my eyes open. Dominique is eye level with me, his penetrating stare burning into me.
“They’re worried about you. You’re not responding to any of their texts.”
“I don’t want to talk to anyone,” I whisper, my mouth so dry the words come out scratchy and raw.
He hands me an uncapped bottle of water. “Drink.”
I shake my head. I don’t want it.
“Kasey, drink the damn water or I’ll hold you down and force it down your throat myself.”
I glare at him, feeling mutinous. He waves the bottle in my face, his eyes daring me to push him.
“Fine.” I pull myself up into a sitting position and take the bottle. Glaring at him, I swallow a few sips before giving it back. “Happy?” I ask and lay back down.
He grunts out a, “Yes,” and places the water on the bedside table. “I told Allie and Bibi you were dealing, but you know how they can be. They want to see for themselves that you’re okay. I think they mostly want to make sure I haven’t buried you somewhere.”
I suck in a breath.
“Fuck. Bad joke. Ignore that.” He shakes his head. “I just thought you’d want a heads-up before they came in.”
He moves to stand, but I latch onto his wrist, stopping him.
I swallow hard. “Don’t let them in.”
His eyes soften. “They’re worried about you. We all are. It’s been four days Kasey—”
I shake my head. “Please. I… I can’t.”
He looks away, a tic jumping along his jaw. “Allie lost her mom, too. She can help. Aaron’s been spending a lot of time with her. Maybe—”
“No!”
He reaches down and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my cheek. “Okay. I’ll tell them you need more time.”
