Christian’s in the papers sometimes because of Britain’s stupid fascination with the Box Set… Not the same way they are about Magnolia and BJ, but he’d get it a bit.
When he was with Vanna though — everywhere. He was everywhere. I didn’t go on Instagram for months because they saturated my feed. It was horrible to watch.
He didn’t love her, I know that now, but still, it does something to you as a person, watching the person you love love someone else. I guess he watched me love someone too.
Christian and I arrive at one of Jonah’s clubs with my brother and Magnolia. They’ve just come from BJ’s little sister’s 21st, and the thought of Julian voluntarily going to a stranger’s birthday party is the most overt way of declaring he’s in love without actually declaring it.
Christian takes my hand, pulls me through the crowd as the paparazzi goes berserk for Magnolia — my brother breaks a camera when it gets too close to her — she apologises, the picture of grace always,1 gives the photographer her card and promises to buy them a new camera, but would he please mind leaving her alone for the evening, she’s just having some time with his friends.
The photographer looks after her sort of dazed, like he’s been touched by an angel, then clears everyone off because I guess Magnolia Parks isn’t the kind of girl you make a promise to and then break it.
She pulls my brother inside, scolding him for his temper and he takes it. Rolls his eyes at her, looks like he’s bored, but doesn’t talk back, just kisses her and I watch on nervous about what life might look like when they inevitably combust into flames.
“Do you want to come to the bathroom with me?” Magnolia asks me sweetly.
“No.” I yawn.
“Oh, come on—” She swats her hand then takes mine. “You can stop pretending you don’t like me now, we all know you do—”
“I don’t—” I shake my head.
“Of course you do.” She pulls me away from Christian and Julian. “Your brother told me.”
“Julian!” I growl, staring back at that traitor.
He shrugs like he can’t help it and I trot after her.
“I didn’t actually say that I like you now, by the way—” I call to her through the bathroom cubicle. “I said I don’t want to have you killed anymore.”
She swings over the door and gives me an unimpressed look. “Well, coming from you that’s practically a hug.”
She walks over to the bathroom sink, washes her hands delicately as she stares at herself almost emotionlessly, and I think to myself how much we mustn’t see our true reflections in a mirror, so used to our own faces that we become disenfranchised no matter how beautiful what’s staring back at us is.
“What’s it like having that face?” I nod my chin towards her.
“Oh.” Her mouth falls open in thought as she glances over at me, giving me a sad smile. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
Then she peeks at me out of the corner of her eye. “You’re as pretty as I am.”
I roll my eyes, instantly embarrassed and annoyed.
“No, you are — it’s just my eyes, the colour tricks people into thinking I’m more beautiful than I am.” Then she leans in towards me and whispers. “Don’t tell anyone, it’s my biggest secret.”
“That you have nice eyes?” I frown at her. “That’s not a secret — Vanity Fair did a cover story on you titled ‘The Girl With The Eyes.’”
“No, Daisy—” She gives me a look like I’m the idiot. “The secret is that I am less pretty without them.”
“When are you ever without them?”
“Look—” She closes her eyes and turns her head to face me. “I’m much blander now. Zero wow factor.”
“Sure.” I nod as I frown over at her. “How often do you wander around with your eyes closed, though?”
“Oh.” She shakes her head. “Not all that often.”
“Right.”
“There is a reason you’ll never see me wearing sunglasses though—” She gives me a look before she skips out of the bathroom.
She bounces ahead of me and freezes to a holt. I peer around her and standing way too close to my boyfriend over at the bar is Vanna Ripley.
Christian’s not doing anything wrong — actually, his body language screams uncomfortable. My brother’s next to him, frowning on as Vanna leans in as close to Christian as she can without pressing herself up against him.
Magnolia makes a sound at the back of her throat.
“Come on,” she growls and yanks me over towards them.
Christian catches my eye as we walk over and his eyebrows go up — the tacit international call-sign for ‘help’.
Magnolia practically shoves me into Christian’s arms, and he pulls me backwards into him, holds me from behind.
“Vans.” He gives her a smile. “You remember Daisy?”
Vanna stares at me for a few seconds — eyes me like a bug. I feel insecure for a second, run through my mind what I’m wearing,2 if it holds a candle to how sexy Vanna fucking Ripley is in that tight black dress. I’m not sure that it does.
Vanna forces a smile eventually. “I don’t think we’ve met.”
“Right.” Christian nods. “Well, this is my girlfriend. Daisy.”
Vanna’s jaw goes tight on the G word and I give her a curt smile.
My brother slings an arm around Magnolia as Vanna looks over at her.
“Magnolia.” She straightens up a bit, like she’s talking to royalty. She kind of is. “So good to see you — how’s BJ? How’s Rush?” Then adds with a chuckle. “How’s Jack-Jack?”
Christian scoffs, surprised, at the same time Magnolia pulls back a tiny bit. Julian gives Vanna a little look, glances down at his arms around Magnolia, raises his eyebrows.
“I know—” I look over at Vanna, shaking my head as I stare her down. “I know that you weren’t just implying something untoward about her.”
She gives me a bored smile. “Was I not?”
My brother gives her a look. “You better not have.”
Magnolia quiets my brother with that hand on his chest how she does and glares over at Vanna. “Did the Jack-Jack one upset you particularly? He said you always liked him.”
Vanna gives her a bit of a dark look. “Not as much as it would have upset Daisy when Christian chose you over her.”
I feel sick. Christian’s grip tightens around me.
“Oh — you’re confused—” Magnolia shakes her head, giving her a polite smile. “That never happened. But he did choose Daisy over you, that happened—”
My brother squashes a smile and Christian sniffs a laugh.
Christian tips his head away from us. “Probably time for you to sod off now, ey Vans?”
“I love it when you tell me what to do,” she says, voice dripping all sultry.
“How do you feel when I tell you what to do?” I ask. “Because I’m going to tell you to fuck yourself.”
“I’d rather be fucked by someone else.” She stares over at Christian, and he shakes his head at her uncomfortably.
“I’m sorry—” he tells me before turning back to her. “You need to stop.”
Vanna stares up at him, like she’s baffled. “What are you doing with her?”
“What am I doing with her?” He blinks. “I’m in love with her.” Shrugs like it’s simple. “I love her.”
Vanna stares at him for a few long seconds and Magnolia makes a little squeal. “Sorry — this is so uncomfortable.” She squirms in my brother’s arms. “Vanna, would it help if we were to all close our eyes so that you could slink back away to the hell-mouth from whence you came?”
Vanna stares at her, furious.
“I’ll start—” Magnolia claps her hands over her eyes. “Daisy, look at all I’m doing for you, covering my eyes and everything — has she gone yet?”
My brother picks Magnolia up and throws her over his shoulder laughing, carrying her away. “You’re so weird.”
Christian pulls me past and away from a frozen Vanna, following my brother down a hallway. He stops walking and pushes some hair behind my ears.
“Baby, I’m so sorry—” He shakes his head. “She’s fucking rancid.”
“I hate her,” I tell him.
“Yeah.” He nods.
“Julian, have you slept with her?”
“Fuck off!“ My brother stares over, offended. “I have some standards—” He looks at Christian. “No offence.”
Christian shrugs.
“Nor have I slept with her, to clarify,” Magnolia tells me.
“Good.” Christian nods. “Just me then.”
“You know—” Magnolia leans around my brother. “While we’re talking about this…”
“Oh God.” Christian sighs, cracking his back.
“Did you know that when you kiss someone you have their saliva in your system for seven years. So—” We all stare at her. “—if you think about it… I hooked up with Julian once when I was nineteen, and then Christian not long after. And then you hooked up with Christian—” She points at me. “And then I hooked up with him again in New York. And then I hooked up with your brother — so if you think about it…”
“I don’t want to.” Christian shakes his head. “Let’s not— think—nope—”
Julian makes a revolted sound.
“I—” I point over at her. “Right, back to hating you. Like, want you dead, hate you.”
“Oh!” Magnolia claps her hands together. “There’s an idea. Why don’t you just kill her?” Magnolia offers loudly, smiling and nodding.
All three of us slowly stare over at her, blinking.
“What?” My brother’s face scrunches up.
“I just—” Her shoulders slump. “I don’t understand your lives.”
There’s this awkward silence where none of us can tell whether she’s joking or not.
In what other circle in the world could she not have been joking?
Julian howls laughing, as he grabs her, kissing her again.3
I stare after them and over at my boyfriend and wonder if this is the normal I’ve wanted all along. Maybe this is everything I’ve ever wanted right in front of me. And I pray to that god who I’m sure doesn’t listen to us that it’ll stay like this forever.
1 Annoying.
2 Clara belted distressed denim mini shirt dress (Retrofête); Laylis suede knee boots (Isabel Marant); Lennon shearling coat (Nili Lotan); Loulou Puffer small quilted shearling shoulder bag (Saint Laurent) — Thank you, Magnolia.
3 I feel worried again.
