I wasn’t sure why I’d thought coming home for Christmas this year was a good idea. Maybe I’d felt nostalgic. Seamus would probably blame it on me missing Aislinn. He blamed every mood swing on her. I still vividly remembered our conversation after I’d sent Patrick another very clear message.
“Balor mentioned you sent one of his men over to give Patrick a thrashing after he had a chat with Aislinn,” Seamus said as a way of greeting as he entered my office and perched on the edge of my desk.
I glared at him. “There’s a chair. Why don’t you use it?”
“Is this because officially she’s still yours and you want to make a statement for others, or is this because you still have feelings for her and are jealous of any bloke who makes a move at her?”
I leaned back in my chair. I should have known Balor would give Seamus a call. These two had decided to become the bane of my existence. “Still having feelings would require for me to have had feelings for my soon-ex-wife in the first place.”
“You haven’t taken a single step toward divorce, Lorcan. Maybe others believe this bullshit, but I’ve known you since you touched your first boob behind the fish and chips shop. You had and have feelings for Aislinn.”
He was right. The mere idea of another man touching what was mine made me raging mad. She was supposed to be mine. Yet, I sent her away. The only thing I could have done in the shitty situation, except for killing her. The latter was what I should have done. It didn’t matter why Aislinn had done what she’d done. She’d talked to police. End of story.
But my stupid heart hadn’t dropped her yet. It annoyed the fuck out of me.
“Eventually I’ll forget her. There are many more women out there.”
“You haven’t looked at any of them since you sent her away.”
“How about you keep your nose out of my business?”
“She betrayed you. That was a major mistake, but she hasn’t been raised in our world. She views the police through different eyes. Maybe she can make it up to you and prove her loyalty. And if she doesn’t want to or can’t, then you can really let go.”
I thought about Seamus words a lot and maybe that was why I was here.
“Marriage is sacred,” Father began. My brothers, our father and I had settled around the massive stone hearth with a glass of good old Irish whiskey. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and Dad’s housekeeper was preparing a feast. The snoring of Father’s three Irish Wolfhounds filled the room; it was a sound I always associated with home. I missed having a dog, but New York just wasn’t a place for any dog, least of all an Irish Wolfhound.
I sank deeper into my armchair, and emptied half of my glass. I knew this was coming. Father had called me five times when he found out I’d sent Aislinn back to Dublin.
Balor slanted me a look over his glass. I hadn’t told any of them the truth about Aislinn. Only Timothy and Seamus knew the details of her betrayal, and I intended to keep it that way. But Balor knew something was up. He couldn’t possibly guess what it really was.
Aislinn was my business and still my wife. I would handle her, but if my father and brothers knew about her cooperation with the police, they’d get involved.
“I’m getting old and none of my five sons have considered giving me grandchildren.”
I looked over at Aran but he didn’t say anything. He seemed content to let Father drone.
“Many marriages fail. That’s why divorce rates are so high,” I said.
“Divorce!” Father muttered and shook his head in disgust. “In my time, that word would never cross anyone’s mouth.”
“Even then, people got divorced. You’re not ancient,” I muttered. “Aislinn just wasn’t the right woman for me.”
“Maybe you just weren’t willing to give it time. A good marriage needs work, time, and patience. You gave yours neither and then you sent your wife back like an unwanted package. It’s a disgrace.”
“I’m sure Lorcan had his reasons, Father,” Aran droned.
Father made a dismissive sound.
I had a very good reason.
“You shouldn’t file for divorce,” he insisted. “You should give this another chance.”
“You were against my marriage with a Killeen.”
“I was, but now she’s your wife before God, and that’s a bond you shouldn’t take lightly.”
Gulliver had spewed that same nonsense, said I should discipline her and submit her to my will. Of course, I could easily break Aislinn in mind and body. But for what? It wouldn’t make me trust her. I didn’t want a wife that didn’t have a will of her own, who cowered at my feet. I wanted a wife who wouldn’t stab me in the back.
Still, I hadn’t found it in me to start the divorce process. I couldn’t forget what Desmond had said, that Aislinn was useless because she didn’t have access to my office and the warehouse. Those were the places where he’d wanted the bugs placed. Aislinn had been to my office and the warehouse after their fateful meeting and yet she’d never planted a bug there and even lied to the police. To some degree, she had protected me. The police had played her skillfully, played on her greatest fear: that I was involved in her sister’s death. I was still pissed that Desmond didn’t know who had informed the Miami contact about my visit on Maksim’s yacht. Someone on the Russian side must have spilled the beans.
I wanted to kick myself because I still hadn’t moved on. The fact that Aislinn was only a two-hour drive away didn’t help either. It was her birthday today. I’d tossed the necklace with a clover-leaf pendant into the Hudson in a fit of rage after sending her away. I had half a mind to pay her a visit in Dublin, just to get a taste of her.
“Father, eventually you’ll have to accept that it’s over.”
I could feel Balor’s eyes on me. One of his men was keeping an eye on Aislinn and reporting back to me directly at the end of each day. Balor didn’t approve of it. He probably suspected something more than her flightiness was the reason why I had sent her away.
Maybe I’d keep an eye on her the day after Christmas. I knew it would be a mistake but I wouldn’t be able to resist.
On my way to the bedroom, Balor stepped in my way.
I sighed. I could only assume what this was about. “If this is about Aislinn, drop it. Father has been talking about the holy bond of marriage enough for one night.”
“You obviously haven’t quite given up on your marriage yet either, or why do I have to give you one of my men.”
I gritted my teeth. Balor had enough men. Having one of them watch Aislinn did hardly count as a bother.
“Let my marriage be my problem. And we both know we sometimes hold on to women for longer than is healthy and clever.”
His expression tightened like it always did when someone mentioned his first love.
“My man noticed someone watching Aislinn. He couldn’t find out who it was, because the person was too careful, but it seems someone else has intense interest in your wife.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? This isn’t a new discovery, is it?”
“He noticed two days ago but we wanted to confirm this was a common occurrence. She’s being watched 24/7 by at least one of my soldiers. No reason to worry.”
Fuck. I knew Aislinn would get herself in trouble. She hadn’t stopped stirring up dirt after returning to Dublin. Her calls to the jetty office hadn’t gone unnoticed. The question was why someone didn’t want her to stir up dirt. I knew Imogen was on Maksim’s yacht. Or was this about more than Imogen? What if someone was interested in Aislinn because she was my wife and now away from my protection?
“Dad expects you to attend Christmas eve dinner tomorrow. If you disappear, he’ll want an explanation and the only one he’ll accept as an apology is you going to Dublin to talk things through with your wife.”
“Then that’s the lie you can give him,” I muttered. “I’m leaving for Dublin now. I want to know who’s watching my wife. This could be related to my new business with Sergej. I won’t let any other players ruin the game for me.”
“Sure,” Balor drawled. “It’s all about business.”
I entered my room and closed the door in his face before I began packing a couple of things for a few days. I’d catch whoever was on Aislinn’s trail. Maybe Balor’s men hadn’t succeeded, but they didn’t have the same motivation as I did.
I reached the Merchant’s Arch around two in the morning. The pub was still open and crowded. The chances of Aislinn’s mother working a shift were high so I didn’t go in. Instead, I went to a quieter part of the alley where I ran across a guy I remembered from Kenmare. He gave me a nod, not the least bit surprised. Balor must have told him about my arrival.
“Anything happen tonight?”
He shook his head and pulled his coat tighter around himself. It was freezing, but my anger and worry kept me warm. “Nothing. Aislinn entered the apartment with the boy around four in the afternoon and hasn’t left since then. Her mother went to work around five.”
“Anyone enter the house apart from Aislinn and Finn?”
“Just an old woman who also lives in the place.”
“You can go now. I’ll give Balor a call when I need someone to relieve me.”
He nodded and walked away. I leaned against the wall, which gave me a good view of the front door. Due to the Merchant’s Arch, there was quite a bit of come and go, but no one came close to the front door, except for a drunk guy who pissed against it. I had a feeling that happened quite often, and I hated that Aislinn and Finn lived in a place where they had to step over people’s piss.
None of my fucking business.
Nothing happened that night, and when Aislinn and Finn left the apartment in the morning for a walk to a playground, I followed them at a distance to make sure they didn’t notice me. I also glanced around for anyone else who might be watching. Thanks to Balor, I now rented a tiny one-room apartment across from Aislinn’s home, so I could watch her door from the window there that evening. Christmas Eve.
Through the kitchen window, I could see Aislinn have dinner with her mother and Finn. She had cooked it herself. I’d watched her work in the kitchen for the last three hours, and I could almost smell the roast she’d prepared. I ate rather bland Tikka Masala from a diner down the street and ignored the calls from my brothers and father. This was one of the sadder Christmas Eves of the last few years. Seamus always invited me over so I never celebrated alone. I knew Father would have driven me up the wall, but even that was preferable to being alone. But even if I’d never admit it, most of all I wished Finn, Aislinn and I could have celebrated Christmas together.
When the lights went out in Aislinn’s apartment, I risked a quick nap. One of Balor’s men would take over for a few hours in the morning. I needed some sleep.
After a four-hour nap in the morning, I resumed my watch. I didn’t have to wait long before Aislinn left her apartment. Finn was with her. I missed the little guy too. My lips pulled into a smile when I saw what he held in his hand. A remote control. Aislinn carried the Batmobile that I’d given him for Christmas. There was a note in the package so she definitely knew it was from me. It hadn’t felt right not to send the boy something for Christmas. He’d suffered enough abandonment at his age, and I didn’t want him to think I dropped him like a hot potato too. I followed Aislinn and Finn at a great distance. It was still risky. Aislinn looked over her shoulder a few times. Maybe her instincts told her she was in danger.
They went to a parking lot across Ha’Penny Bridge so Finn could test his Batmobile. I watched them for a while. Aislinn beamed as she watched Finn enjoy his gift, but on occasion her expression would sober, become almost forlorn. It was weak to think she missed me. She’d been averse to our bond from the very beginning and never hid it.
In the late afternoon, Aislinn left the apartment again, but this time alone. It was already turning dark. Her stride was purposeful, with a definite destination in mind. I followed her toward an Italian restaurant. Maybe she was applying for a job. I leaned against a wall in a side alley that still allowed me a partial view of the restaurant’s entrance.
Lack of sleep was catching up on me and I felt my eyes falling shut on occasion. Maybe whoever had followed Aislinn lost interest.
I jerked awake. I had briefly fallen asleep. I only caught the hint of Aislinn’s hair as she turned a corner and disappeared from view. Damn it.
I pushed away from the wall. The street was busy and eventually I just crossed it, causing cars to sound the horn and to hit the brakes with screeching tires.
Jogging or running made you look suspicious. That’s the last thing you needed when you trailed someone. Still my quick walking could hardly be considered actual walking. When I rounded the corner, I still didn’t see Aislinn. This part of Dublin had many smaller alleys branching off each other. A scream rang out followed by a metallic bang. Fuck. I began running.
Aislinn
I felt elated. My job interview at the Italian restaurant was really good. They even invited me to work a shift next week to see if I was a good fit. The first hint of progress since my move to Dublin.
I glanced over my shoulder as I left the restaurant. Maybe my time with Lorcan made me paranoid but I had felt like being watched these last few days. At first, I’d hoped it was Lorcan but now I thought my mind was just playing tricks on me.
I was still disappointed that Lorcan hadn’t tried to see me, which was completely idiotic of me. He didn’t want anything to do with me.
Steps crunched behind me. I glanced over my shoulder once more and for a heartbeat, I was sure I caught a glimpse of a familiar tall and muscular figure. Then a sound made me turn back around and a shadow fell over me, causing a scream to rip from my throat. A tall man grabbed me and jerked me to the side, into a narrow alley without any street lights. That definitely wasn’t Lorcan. He didn’t smell like him. This man smelled like cigars and sweat. I struggled against his hold but he shoved me against a wall. My head hit the stone, sending a stabbing pain through my skull.
Light from the main alley caught on a blade and fear shot through me. Was this a rapist? A contract killer? Maybe from the Devaneys? Maybe this was Lorcan’s form of a divorce.
A muscular arm hooked around my attacker’s throat and jerked him back, away from me. Now that my eyes had gotten used to the dim light, I could make out two tall men wrestling. Lorcan was one of them, and he had my attacker in a headlock. The man still had his knife and slashed it backwards.
“Lorcan! The knife!” I screamed.
Lorcan reacted before I even finished my words. He shoved sideways so the man’s arm smashed against the wall. A sickening crack sounded, and the man howled in agony. I was frozen against the wall. Lorcan tightened his hold around the man’s throat and slowly my attacker sank to the ground. Lorcan seemed immune to his elbow jabs that he sent backwards with his uninjured arm. The man choked and eventually he became slack. Lorcan dropped him, and he fell to his side motionless. Lorcan kicked his ribs hard then picked up the knife. I braced myself for him killing the man but he simply closed the knife and put it in his pocket.
Lorcan’s gaze hit me. His eyes scanned me then he stalked toward me. Now that the first adrenaline spike was over, I realized how hard I was trembling and something warm ran down my neck. Lorcan cupped my cheek, surprising me. I leaned into the touch without thinking. His brows furrowed as he tilted my head. “You’re bleeding. You might need stitches.”
“Is your vision blurry or do you feel nauseous?”
I shook my head. Hundreds of questions raced through my head but none left my lips.
“Are you hurt anywhere else?”
I shook my head again.
My eyes moved past Lorcan to the unmoving man on the ground. “Is he—?” I didn’t think he was dead, but I needed to ask.
“No, not yet. I’ll need some answers before he’ll die.”
I nodded. Of course. It made sense. Maybe. Right now, nothing really made sense anymore.
“I’ll give my brother a call, then I’ll take you home.”
“I can’t go home like this. Mum will be worried sick if I show up with blood on my head.”
“I’ll take you with me and treat your injuries, then you can go home,” Lorcan said, his voice was tight with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. He took a step away from me, and I almost asked him to come back, but instead I wrapped my arms around myself.
“Balor, I caught the guy. Send someone over so they can keep an eye on him until I have time to question him.”
Lorcan’s expression tightened even more at something his brother said.
“No. Aislinn is here with me. I’ll have to take her home, so send someone over.”
Lorcan hung up then he got down beside my attacker and searched his pockets. He found a cellphone, a small gun, another knife, and some cash. He checked the man’s neck, arms and calves. Maybe for some tattoo that would give away who’d set him up on me.
I wasn’t sure who wanted to hurt, maybe even kill, me, but that wasn’t even my most pressing question right now. Why did Lorcan save me and why did he know I needed saving?
I shivered from the cold. Lorcan looked up to me then he got to his feet and came over to me. He removed his black down jacket and draped it over my shoulders. Beneath it, he wore a white wool sweater. I’d never seen him wear anything like it in our time in New York. Maybe he got it in the mansion over Christmas. He looked even more burly, but also more approachable with the cozy sheep’s wool sweater. “Won’t you be cold?”
“I’m fine,” he grumbled. “Put my jacket on properly. You’re trembling.”
I pushed my arms into the sleeves and closed the jacket. It smelled of Lorcan’s perfume. Of course, it was way too big for me.
“Let me see the back of your head. I want to make sure you’re not losing too much blood.” I turned my back on him. A flashlight came on as Lorcan used his phone to check my wound. I only felt a dumb throbbing, not really any pain. Lorcan parted my hair and that’s when I winced.
“It’s a small cut. Two strips should do. But stitches might be better because of your hair.”
I turned back around because I needed to see Lorcan’s face and he turned off the flashlight of his phone.
“Why are you here?” I whispered.
Lorcan’s jaw flexed then a condescending smile formed. “To save your pretty ass. Would you prefer that I didn’t?”
I shook my head. I was still too shaken for anger. Steps rang out, and Lorcan positioned himself in front of me, his hand going to a gun in his back pocket.
“Lorcan?” A man called.
Lorcan relaxed. “We’re here. All clear.”
Two men entered the alley. They nodded a greeting at Lorcan then at me before they picked up the unconscious man.
“Balor is going to send you the details of where we’re taking him so you can join us whenever you’re ready,” the older man, who’d called Lorcan’s name before, said.
“Good.”
Without another word, the men left, dragging the unconscious man by his arms, leaving me alone with Lorcan. Nobody would bat an eye at them. People would just assume they were dragging a drunken friend home, a common occurrence.
“We’ll have to walk back,” Lorcan said. With his hand on my lower back, he led me out of the alley. I followed his lead, not sure where he’d take me. My confusion only grew when we got closer to home.
“Lorcan, I can’t go home like this.”
“I’m not taking you home.” He didn’t elaborate, and when we turned into Merchant’s Arch, my confusion reached its peak. He didn’t take me to my door though, instead he approached a building across from mine and unlocked the door there. He held it open for me and I stepped into the narrow entry. It was dark and smelled of piss.
“Second floor.”
I took the first step and a wave of dizziness overcame me. Lorcan touched my back, steadying me. I gripped the banister and slowly ascended the stairs. If I hadn’t felt unsteady, I would have bombarded Lorcan with questions, but I needed to focus on dragging myself up. Lorcan unlocked the door on the second floor and motioned me to go in. It was a tiny one room apartment. There were a sleeping couch, kitchenette, folding chairs and table in it. I walked over to the narrow window, which had a clear view of the Merchant’s Arch and my front door, as well as our apartment’s kitchen window.
Lorcan rummaged behind me. Wouldn’t he explain? He appeared behind me, a warm presence I’d missed despite my determination not to.
“I’ll clean the wound now and fix it with strips. You can still go to a doctor and get stitches if the strips fall off.”
He swiped my hair to the side and then something cold touched the back of my head. I hissed from the burning sensation.
“How long have you been staying in this place?”
“A couple of days,” Lorcan said. His voice didn’t give anything away. His fingers applied pressure to my wound, then he said: “Done.”
I turned immediately, needing to see his face, even though it was as closed off as his voice had been.
“Don’t you think it’s strange that you’re living in an apartment across from me and happen to be around when I get attacked? What’s going on? This is my life. I deserve to know if I’m in danger.”
“Of course, you are. What just happened should have proven that. But you’re protected.”
I shook my head, not sure what to make of this. “So you came all the way from New York to Dublin to protect me?”
“I was here to celebrate Christmas with my family. Recent discoveries made me cancel these plans and watch you.”
So my instinct hadn’t been off. Lorcan had really stalked me. But my attacker too. Goose bumps erupted along my skin. “Why did you come? You sent me away. You have every reason to want me dead. But tonight, you protected me.”
“You’re still my wife.”
“You sent me away.”
“That made a few people obviously think you weren’t under my protection anymore. I hope my actions tonight showed them their mistake.”
“Who are they? Who wants to hurt me?”
“I won’t know until I’ll question your attacker.”
“What about Finn, is he in danger, and Mum?”
“I’ll question him and then I’ll know more. But neither Finn nor your mother nor you are in danger. Even when I return to New York, someone will watch you until we’ve determined the danger is over.”
“Is this because of Imogen? I thought she’s safe?”
“Aislinn, I won’t know until I loosen the asshole’s tongue by cutting him open. But some people just don’t like nosy people and you were nosy with your calls to the Miami jetty offices. Many people who have their yachts there, don’t like attention.”
I walked over to the sleeping couch and sank down on it. I lowered my face into my palms, overwhelmed by everything that happened, by what it revealed.
Gulliver had been right. I couldn’t just return to my old life. For many reasons. Because others wouldn’t let me. Because I had changed. Because part of me longed to return to New York and that part was even louder with Lorcan in a room with me. He saved me tonight. It would have been easy to get rid of me this way, without having blood on his hands.
I felt like crying. The sleeping couch groaned and shifted, then Lorcan touched my back. “You don’t have to be scared. You’re still a Devaney and I’ll make sure everyone knows it.”
“And what happens once I’m not a Devaney anymore? Will people then lose interest in hurting me?”
Lorcan wedged his finger under my chin, forcing my face up. “That’s no immediate concern. You are my wife.”
I searched his eyes, trying to understand the man before me. He’d easily subdued the tall and bulky attacker, could have killed him from the looks of it. He had no qualms about it either, but he never hurt me despite what I’d done. Without thinking, I moved my face toward Lorcan, seeking his comforting touch.
