I wake up with a start. My duvet is tucked around my neck. I don’t remember much after Grayson ran me a warm bath last night.
My chest pangs. I already feel empty without him. I’m not going to find another man like him to satisfy me completely. I was hooked after one kiss. But I can’t forgive him for this.
It’s one thing having an argument, but tossing me out on the street in the middle of a gang war zone is totally over the line. I pad into the bathroom. Cringing at my reflection, I brush my teeth and slather on some moisturizer.
Making my way to the kitchen, I buzz the coffee machine to life and stare as the black liquid fills the cup. I didn’t eat last night. I’ll end up with the shakes if I don’t get something inside me soon. Lifting up on my tiptoes, I open the cupboard above my head, jabbing my hand around toward the back in search for the brown sugar.
I know it’s here somewhere.
My fingers hit against something metal. What the fuck is that?
I wrap my fingers around it and grab it. My eyes focus in on the small silver gun in my hands. It falls from my fingertips, clattering against the counter and making me jump backward.
What the fuck?
I whip my head around as Grayson clears his throat.
The asshole.
“Out!” I shout, pointing toward the door.
Hurt flashes across his features before he shakes his head. He prowls closer, and I instantly snatch up the gun from the counter, aiming it straight at his chest.
My hand shakes as he quickly closes the distance.
“It’s loaded.” My voice quivers.
He smirks at me, towering above me.
“I know. I loaded the damn thing.”
He wraps his fingers around the barrel of the gun and presses it further into his chest.
“Get out,” I whisper.
“No.”
“Killing me is the only way you’ll ever get rid of me. So if that’s what you really want, do it. I deserve it. I am a fucking monster. I might have a black heart, but you own all of it. Until the day I’m summoned back down to hell, and even then, it will always be you. So do it. Fucking shoot me.”
“We should never have started this,” I choke out, my hands shaking like a leaf.
“You’re wrong, Maddie. I’ll never regret this. I know I don’t deserve you, but for what it’s worth, I want to give you everything. I’m so fucking sorry about last night. I will never hurt you again. All I know is, I can’t live without you. I want you. All of you. And I can try to be a man you deserve. That, I can promise you. Just… please don’t leave me, Sunshine.”
His words hit me in the chest. I unhook my fingers around the gun, and he takes it out of my hand. I’m so confused right now. I just can’t help burst out into a fit of laughter. Doubling over, I rest my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.
“You’re a fucking idiot, Grayson. Why would you leave a gun here when you know how pissed I get at you.”
“I never really expected you to point it at me. But I mean every word, Maddie.” He holds the gun up between us, and my lips part in surprise. “I will never hurt you again. Until the day I die. If you are the one who sends me there, then so be it.”
He trails the tip of his gun along my collarbone, the cold metal forming goosebumps along my skin.
“It was kind of hot, though,” he rasps and moves the gun between my breasts. I can’t stop looking at this loaded killing machine, sliding down my body.
He pulls the waistband of my shorts away from my body.
“I can think of something even hotter to do with this gun though.”
If his reaction to last night is anything to go by, he won’t hurt me.
“Spread your legs for me, Gorgeous,” he whispers, and like the complete whore I am for him, I do.
The icy barrel of the gun rubs against my heat as he slides it back and forth slowly. He bends, grazing his teeth against my earlobe. I suck in a breath, too scared to move, yet so turned on at the same time.
“I’ll never be able to use a gun again without picturing you like this.”
The cold sensation against my pussy, mixed with the pure adrenaline, runs through my veins. My body sags as he removes the gun. He brings it up to his mouth, keeping his eyes pinned on mine. He runs his tongue along the barrel.
“Fucking delicious,”he moans.
The gun clatters against the counter. I just stand there, open-mouthed, staring at him. Holy shit.
“Kiss me.” The words fall from my lips before I realize what I’m saying.
His brows furrow.
I need one last kiss. The chances I find a man who knows how to pleasure me the way Grayson does is slim to none.
“Please.” I pout, licking my lips. Tempting him.
His lips slam over mine, making my pussy throb. Fuck, he’s good. My tongue finds his as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer, deepening the kiss. He moans into my mouth which sets the sparks off in my body.
“If we don’t stop this now, I’m going to have to bend you over the counter and feast on that delicious pussy for breakfast.”
“Do it,” I say, tipping my chin up. Sliding my hand along his chiseled abs, I move lower and lower and cup his erection through his jeans.
“I’ll have my breakfast first, then.” I lower myself onto my knees, undoing his jeans and freeing his cock. I wrap my hand around the base, which just makes it look huge. Licking my lips, I take him in my mouth, his salty pre-cum slipping down my throat.
“Fuck,” he hisses.
“Take all of me, like the greedy whore you are,” he groans, so I go deeper, the tip hitting against the back of my throat. I try not to gag. Tears stream down as I push my head further into him, opening my throat to allow him in.
“Mmm, my good girl.”
He thrusts into my mouth, hitting at the back of my throat. Over and over again.
“Oh fuck, suck harder.”
My hands grab his muscular thighs, my nails digging into the skin. He tenses against me; I know he’s close. He yanks me up by the hair, and pain sears through my scalp. But I’m too turned on to care right now.
He lifts me onto the counter, my ass hitting the cool counter.
“I need to be inside you. Now.”
He pulls down my little shorts and panties, discarding them onto the floor. Stepping between my legs, he pushes them open and pulls me toward him.
His fingers trail up the inside of my thigh and then he swipes them along my seam. “Jesus, you are soaking for me. Am I going to need to add guns to our bedside drawer?” He pinches my clit, and I scream out. He slams his cock into me in one thrust. His lips crash over mine, his tongue swirling around my mouth. “Mine,” he mutters in a primal tone. He fucks me into oblivion. The sound of our skin slapping against each other fills my ears. Freeing my breasts, he takes my nipple in his mouth.
“Oh fuck, Grayson,” I moan, throwing my head back.
“Scream my name louder, Sunshine,” he rasps, biting at my neck. His fingers circle my clit as he fucks me with ferocity.
“Eyes on me.” His voice is commanding. I snap my eyes back to his.
“Come for me.”
That sends me over the edge. My body trembles against him, as I scream his name.
“Fuck, Sunshine.” He releases into me. His lips find mine then, and my hands cup his cheeks. It’s an intimate moment.
He rests his forehead against mine.
This is all too much. I want this man more than anything, but I can’t live my life like this.
I’m going to miss this. I’m going to miss him.
“I need you to leave,” I whisper. His cock is still twitching inside me. It’s not what my heart wants, but it’s what my brain is screaming at me to do.
His Adam’s apple bobs as he nods.
“I’ll give you time. But that’s all you’re getting. I meant what I said. And I promise, I will make this right.” His voice is soft. He brushes away my tears with the pad of his thumb.
“I hate it when you cry, Baby.”
I look into his eyes through a blurry vision. He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. As soon as he breaks away, he tugs on his jeans.
“I’ll see you soon,” he says. His hands engulf mine with a reassuring squeeze. I’m holding everything in. I can’t move, I can’t speak. I know if I do, every emotion will erupt out of me and he will never leave. He walks out of the kitchen. I hold my breath until I hear the front door open and click back closed. My body sags as I let everything out.
How has my life come to this and why does it feel like my heart has been stamped on the second he walked out of that door. Hopping off the counter, I run to the bedroom and grab my phone from the side.
I hover over Sienna’s name. Biting on my lip, I hit dial.
“Hey, Maddie!”
“Hey, Si. Do you have a minute?”
“You know I do for you. Is everything ok?”
The moment someone asks if you are ok, when you really aren’t, always hurts. “Not really, Si. I really need my bestie.”
“Keller! I’m going to Maddie’s, can you come and take Darcy for me, please?” she shouts.
She carries on her muffled conversation with her husband, whilst I sit and pick at the skin around my fingernails.
“Right, I just need to get changed and I will be around, okay?”
“Thank you, Si.” Relief washes over me. I really didn’t want to be alone.
“Don’t thank me. You do remember everything you did for me last year? We are best friends, no matter what. Please don’t ever hesitate to call me. Just because we don’t live together does not mean I’m not there for you. Do you hear me?”
I laugh at her motherly tone, but right now, it’s what I need. I just need someone to wrap me up and tell me it’s ok.
“I got it.”
“Right, see you soon. I love you, Mads.”
“I love you too.” I sigh, cutting the call and flopping back onto the bed.
I really need to get a grip.
