As I open the front door, her cries echo through the house. I slam it shut and run.
“Rosa!” I choke out her name as I round the corner into the kitchen. She’s curled up on the floor, knees pulled up into her chest, rocking back and forth. Her long dark hair is in tangles, like she’s been knotting it for hours. As I scan the room, it looks like a war zone with stuff strewn everywhere.
Shit, this is bad.
I go to her and drop down onto my knees, pulling her tiny body against mine. Her hands latch onto my white shirt. “I-I can’t get it out of my head,” she sobs, pulling at my collar. “Over and over. He’s all I can see. All I can feel. I can’t take it anymore. I just want this nightmare to end.”
I stroke her wild, dark hair as her tears soak my chest. “Shh little one, everything will be okay. He can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let him.”
I wish I fucking knew who he was.
“He can and he is. He’s inside my head. If I can’t drink, I can’t get rid of him.”
I wrap my hands around her waist and stand, lifting her with me. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world, her being in my arms.
I take us up to my bedroom, kick open the door and lay her down on my bed. I press the button to lower the black out blinds while tugging off my tie and jacket. I get on the bed next to her, pull her into my side, and stare up at the ceiling.
“This is your safe space. Your sanctuary. And I want to listen. Give me your demons, Rosa. Let them out of your brain and into mine. Let me take some of this pain from you.”
I can’t bear her suffering like this.
And one thing I’ve learned through the years of battling with my own mind is you have to talk about it. I can be her person–someone that will just listen.
“None of this is your fault, Rosa. You can tell me as much or as little as you’d like. Okay?”
Her hand rests lightly on my chest, just above my heart, and it sends my pulse racing. So I flatten my palm over hers and hold it.
We lay there in silence for what feels like a lifetime. Her frantic breathing is the only thing I can focus on.
She takes a long, shuddering inhale before releasing the words I knew she had caged inside. “I was raped.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to fight the flare of rage that threatens to overtake me. I fucking knew, but hearing it come out of her mouth makes me feel murderous.
“Oh, Rosa, I’m so sorry,” I whisper, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.
“He worked for my dad. He was five years older. I thought it was cool he was giving me, a little seventeen-year-old virgin, attention. He would always flirt with me behind my dad’s back, telling me I was beautiful.”
The asshole.
“And then one night, my dad was out. He came into our house and tried to kiss me. I said no. I wanted to save myself for “the one”. But really, he was kind of creeping me out.”
Clenching my jaw, I wait for her to continue.
“He stormed out, and I thought that was the end of it. But two days later, my dad went to get Eva from Sicily. She had stayed with my aunt over the summer. I had exams coming up, so I stayed home. Our mom died a few years before that, so our dad was barely home. He shipped us off most summers.”
She stops and her body starts to tremble next to me, so I pull her in closer with my other arm and stroke her bicep.
“I just got out of the shower and he was sitting there, waiting for me on my bed.” Her voice quivers, then falters.
I try to wait patiently, but the silence grows. Maybe she needs a little reassurance.
“You’re doing amazing, Rosa.”
She takes a deep breath and I brace myself.
“I told him to leave, that I’d call my dad. He had my phone in his hand and shoved it in his pocket. I darted for the door, and he grabbed me before I could get out. He squeezed my wrist so tight, I can still feel it now.” Her hand twitches against my chest as if she’s fighting his grasp.
“I-I don’t know if you’d want to hear the rest, do I need to do the graphic details?”
“You tell me as much as you’d like. I can handle it, I promise you. If you feel letting out everything will help, then do it.”
Her hair tickles my neck as she nods.
“He yanked me back by my head and threw me down on my bed. When I tried to climb off, he ripped the towel off of me. Pinning my arms over my head. And then he, err–bit me.”
I clench my jaw so hard my teeth grind, anger rolling through me.
“It left scars of his teeth marks. That’s why I have this tattoo on my collarbone.” She raises onto her elbow and pulls down the neck of her shirt.
“Jesus,” I hiss.
I look down at the array of dark flowers that runs across the top of her shoulder and my eyes start to water. This poor girl.
“He told me that my ‘virgin cunt’ would always be his. When he flipped me over, he held me down. He was so heavy I could barely breathe. I tried to scream and cry and kept telling him no, but he wouldn’t stop. It burned and hurt so bad it felt like he kicked me in the stomach. When he was finished, he kissed me. Then he said he would be back for me.” Her words come out in a rush. Each tumbling faster than the next, like a dam has broken inside of her and she needs to get it all out.
“Fuck, Rosa.” I run a hand over my face and let out a ragged breath.
Turning on my side to face her, I pull her in for a hug.
“I’m so sorry, Rosa. I can’t even imagine that pain you’re going through.” She nuzzles her face into my neck, her nails digging into my skin.
“I’m so proud of you. You are the bravest woman to walk this earth. I promise I will make sure he never comes back. I swear on my life.”
Her tears fall against my throat, her body jerking from the sobs wracking through her. All I can do at this moment is hold her.
“Where is he now?” I can call Enzo in the morning to find this monster.
“I don’t know. My dad just said he took care of it. He refused to speak about it again with me. When I asked if he was dead, he shook his head. He let him live, Luca. If my uncle was there, he would never have let that happen.”
She loses herself to her tears, and I rest my head on top of hers while she lets it all out.
I’ve wanted to take Marco out of power for years. But now, I won’t stop until I kill that asshole. His one job in life is to protect his daughters, and he failed.
“All this time, you’ve been worrying about him coming back for you. Is that why you drink? Is that what the nightmares are about?” It’s a struggle to keep my voice even with the fury burning so hot inside of me.
“He will come back, Luca. The look in his eyes–he’s a psychopath. I drink to blur it all out. After it happened, I raided my dad’s liquor cabinet, and the rest is history. Then when the alcohol didn’t quite cut it, I took it further.”
“The coke.”
“Yes. It let me drink even more. So I’d completely black out and not be able to remember a thing.” She buries her face against my chest. “It’s embarrassing.”
“You’re a survivor, Rosa. You did what you needed to fight. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Not with me, not with anyone. No one can tell you how to deal with your own trauma.”
I deal with my demons with fighting and killing. She uses other means. Everyone uses something.
“I was so alone. I messed up my college, my future. He took everything from me. No matter how hard I try to regain some type of control over my life, he always wins.”
She lifts her head, her hands pressing on my chest to sit herself upright.
“I want to be better. Maybe go back to college and do a photography course. Make some new friends. I don’t know, maybe even get a boyfriend. I just want to be normal, without him holding me back, without living in fear.”
I stiffen at her words. Or one word: boyfriend.
“You can do whatever you want to do, little one. I’ll help you in any way I can, I swear.”
I place my hand on my heart, and she covers it with her own.
“Thank you for listening. I never knew how much relief I would feel just saying it all out loud to someone willing to listen.” The light from the hall creates a halo around her as she looks down at me.
“You are so strong, Rosa. I don’t think you realize your own strength yet. I will always listen. I might not know exactly what you’re dealing with. But I do know what it’s like to be left alone. To fight with yourself every damn day. To feel like you’re suffocating in your own thoughts, that you will never quite be good enough. Watching everyone else around you move on and have these perfect fucking lives and you’re just stuck.”
I let out a breath, and her hand strokes my cheek, making me smile.
“Well, who needs a therapist when we have each other, hey?” she hiccups.
It’s the cutest noise I’ve ever heard.
“I can get you the best in the country if you would like?” I’ve already made arrangements for when she is ready.
“You would?” The surprise in her voice is clear, and it breaks my heart. All this time, she really has had no one on her team.
Well today, that changes. What she doesn’t know is, Dr. Jenkins, a top psychologist in her field, is lined up to visit when I call.
I rest my forehead against hers.
And, for some reason, it feels like home.
Something I’ve never truly had.
