I’m trembling as Noah leads me back to the clearing, desperate for him. The toy isn’t enough. I want him deep inside me. I want him close, his body on mine. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want him, and he doesn’t even seem to realize it. He has nothing to worry about with Gregory. Nothing at all. I wish I could make him see that.
Kim looks up at me when she spots us, her gaze questioning. I can’t help but smirk, and the jealousy I see in her eyes gives me a strange sense of satisfaction. It’s odd, because the feeling is at war with the guilt I simultaneously feel. I’ve never been possessive, but it’s different with Noah. I’ll take any opportunity I can get to make it clear he’s off-limits to her, even when I know better. It’s irrational, and it’s crazy, but I can’t help it.
My entire body feels sensitive as I sit down next to Gregory. Noah made me come so hard that I can barely even take the subtle vibrations he kept on. The way he held my head as he thrust into my mouth, the anger in his eyes, the danger he radiated. I want more of it. I’m so tempted to provoke him further, to make him lose control again. I want more of the man he keeps hidden from the world.
“Where were you?”
I turn to Gregory and sigh. “Got lost,” I lie. “The bathrooms weren’t where they were years ago, and this place is a maze.”
He glances at Noah and then back at me, and I smile sweetly. I might want to mess with Noah, but never at the expense of his future. I don’t trust Gregory, and there’s no way I’m putting Noah at risk.
“Yeah, it is a bit of a maze, isn’t it?”
I nod and lean back as he wraps his arm around the back of my chair. My eyes meet Noah’s and the look in his eyes has me clenching my thighs. He looks angry, seeing me sitting here with Greg, and Noah angry is a sight to behold. I glance down and grab my phone to send him a text.
Amara: you’re sexy when you’re jealous. I’m tempted to provoke you further.
Noah blinks in surprise when his phone buzzes, and the edges of his lips turn up into a reluctant smile when he sees my message.
Noah: baby, I strongly advise against that. I’m a doctor. I can think of at least twelve ways to permanently injure your little boyfriend and make it look like an accident.
I smile as I put my phone away, even more turned on than I was before. I’m used to powerful men, but Noah is different. I doubt his threats are empty, yet he doesn’t scare me in the slightest. On the contrary, he makes me feel safer than anyone else ever has.
“So, you’re a doctor, aren’t you? You work for the Astors?” Greg says, an irritatingly smug smile on his face.
Noah nods and smiles back, holding his gaze. It’s subtle, but I notice the way Greg tenses. Noah puts him on edge, and it isn’t just because of me. “I do,” he says simply.
Greg clenches his jaw, clearly irritated that he didn’t get more of a response from Noah.
“How nice of the Astors to treat you so well. I’m not surprised, though. They’re prone to taking on charity cases.”
I’ve never thought highly of Greg, and I only ever dated him because my grandfather pushed us together. It seems like the small amount of respect I had for him was misplaced, though. My opinion of him is sinking by the second.
Noah smiles relaxedly. “Indeed. It’s incredibly nice of them. What about you? What do you do?”
Greg relaxes, thinking he’s got the upper hand, but he’s wrong. He’s missing the angry glint hidden in Noah’s eyes, the clenched jaw despite his smile.
“I’m the COO of Zilium Oil,” he says proudly. “It’s one of the largest oil companies in the country.”
Noah nods and smiles. “How nice that your daddy gave you a job. Being charitable must be a rich people trait.” He says it so calmly and with such seriousness that it takes Greg a few seconds to realize what he said, and I bite back a smile.
I can see Greg struggling to come up with a retort and failing. No one has ever been rude to his face, and seeing his incredulous expression is priceless.
Noah takes a leisurely sip of his wine, dismissing Greg without a second thought, and my heart swells with pride. I’ve been worried about this trip, about Noah feeling out of his depth, but he’s handling himself just fine. I should’ve known he would.
Kim leans into him under the guise of asking about the wine, her chest grazing against Noah’s arm, and all my amusement drains away. Noah looks up, his eyes meeting mine, and something in his expression puts me at ease.
“He’s going to pay for that,” Greg murmurs, leaning into me. I tear my eyes away from Noah to look at Greg and shake my head.
“No. He won’t. My grandfather adores him, and so does my mother. Grandpa is grooming him to take over an entire division of Astor Inc. If anything, Grandpa would just love him more for the way he carries himself.”
I jump when the vibrations of my toy increase suddenly and glance at Noah, but he’s looking at Kim, a serious expression on his face as he listens to her talk about the way her wine is made. I smile as I turn back to Greg. So Noah doesn’t like me speaking to him, huh?
I love seeing him jealous. I know Noah isn’t mine, but when he acts this way it feels like he is. It feels like he cares, like this is more than just lust.
“He’s still nothing but a little worker bee. Keep that in mind, Amara. Your grandfather might want to use him for his potential, but that doesn’t make him one of us. He’ll never be one of us. I see the way you keep looking at him. Play with the help all you want, but a man like him can’t provide for you. A man like me can.”
I’m speechless for just a moment, and then I burst out laughing. “Greg,” I say, my voice soft. “I don’t need a man to provide for me. I need someone that respects me, that’ll put me first. Someone that can make me laugh with him — not at him. I need someone that understands me and that supports my dreams and ambitions. Someone that will grow with me. A man like you will never be what I want.”
He grits his teeth, a humorless smile on his face. “I might not be what you want right now, but you’ll want me, Amara. You’ll need me, and you’ll come begging for another chance.”
I smile at him, thoroughly amused. “You’re insane. I’ve bitten my tongue for weeks now, purely out of respect for the relationship your father has with my grandfather. Don’t push me, Gregory. You won’t like the consequences.”
Greg crosses his arms over each other and stares me down. “You might be an Astor, but you’re nothing without your grandfather. You’ll learn your place eventually. I can be patient, Amara. For you, I will be.”
“This is exactly why you’ll never have me. The type of man that I’d choose to be with would help me stand on my own two feet, instead of counting on my reliance on him. You don’t get it, Greg, and you never will. Because of that, you’ll never have me. You never did.”
I rise to my feet, needing a bit of space. “I think I’ve had a bit too much sun,” I murmur.
Noah looks up at me and nods as he gets up. “I’ll drive you home. I’m fully booked tomorrow, so I need to get back anyway.”
I nod and thank Kim in a rush, walking away before Greg can insist that he drive me back himself. I can’t stand to be in his presence for another second.
I hear Noah rush after me, and I exhale in relief when he falls into step at my side. “What did he say?” he asks, his tone tense.
I glance up at him, wondering what to say. I decide on the truth. “That I’ll end up back with him. That he’ll wait for me while I’m ‘messing around with the help’ or something like that.”
Noah grimaces as he opens the car door for me, and I can’t help but wonder if I should’ve just kept that conversation to myself. He seems tired as he gets behind the wheel, or maybe that isn’t even the right word. He’s weary.
“Is that what you’re doing?” he asks, keeping his eyes on the road as we drive out of the massive estate.
“No. God no. Of course not,” I say, the words tumbling out of my mouth in a rush.
Noah glances at me briefly and sighs. “He’s not wrong. With me you’d never have the life you live right now. Even if we both worked our asses off, I doubt we’d ever be this rich.” He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. “What am I even saying? We? There is no we.”
I stare at him, my heart twisting painfully. “I… Noah, I don’t need any of this. I grew up without it, and I can do without it.”
He looks at me and shakes his head. “Your grandfather is offering me the opportunity of a lifetime, Amara. What you and I are doing… it’s stupid. I admit that I want you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone else, but you and I can’t happen. We’re already taking it too far, and you know it.”
I nod and stare out the window. “I know, Noah. I can’t help it. I can’t stay away. I’ve never felt this way before. I know what’s at risk. Trust me, I know. Despite that, I just can’t help myself.”
He tightens his grip on the wheel and nods. “Me too, baby,” he murmurs. “But we need to stop before this gets out of hand. Today… the way I touched you. Fuck. Do you know what your grandfather would do to me if he ever found out? We have to stop.”
I bite down on my lip and look down at my lap. I’d single-handedly destroy Noah’s future if we keep doing this. “I know,” I whisper, wishing there was another way and knowing that there isn’t.
